What to Do When You are Lonely
There's an Entire World Out There
To start, one needs to convince themselves of two things. Loneliness is a part of life, and the world is theirs for the taking. Recognizing that loneliness if a part of life opens your mind and your heart to acceptance. If you are willing to accept reality, then you are free to change reality. Secondly, realizing that the entire world is out there allows your mind to roam free about the things you could do, even without people around.
There's Life Outside of Loneliness
I know what being alone feels like. It's not pleasant whatsoever. Most of the time, it either makes you feel empty, or it makes you feel like your heart is being crushed. But don't worry! It's just a feeling, right? If good feelings can come and go, sad feelings (like loneliness) can do the same. There's always room for something new, something that will replace that pain inside. Whether it be a new experience, something you already enjoy doing, or finding a new friend, there is always a way to overcome loneliness.
What Can You Do?
There's four main things you can do.
1.) Go somewhere new (explore)
2.) Meet someone new
3.) Do something new
4.) Do something that you already love
1. Go Somewhere New
This amazing planet is filled with mountains, deserts, oceans, lakes, forests, plains and more. In addition to nature, humanity has had some creations that are simply amazing. No matter where you live, there is always somewhere to go.
If you live a city, there's plenty of amazing new places around.
- You could be a tourist for a day and tour the city. Maybe there's a side of the city you hadn't even known about.
- You could go to a store you've never been to.
- You could find a new place (a park) or building (skyscraper) to explore.
- Go somewhere outside the city (like a farm) and learn how life can be so different. Maybe you'll even like it enough to move. Who's to say?
If you live in the country, you have the biggest opportunity to see the beauty of the world.
- Walking to the middle of a field and just taking in the vastness of the earth and the delight of the sun, and the breath of fresh and clean air makes you realize how amazing the world you live in is.
- Walking in the woods is an entirely different story due to the fact that the diversity of nature truly shines here. There's too much to look at and take in that you couldn't possibly do it all in one trip.
- Taking a hike often will give you new perspectives on things as well. It doesn't have to be a dangerous, pro-level trip. It could be as simple as following a trail to the top. Either way, the sense of accomplishment and utter awe of seeing the world from above quickly becomes an exhilarating event that you won't soon forget.
- Go to the nearest body of water. You can swim, go on a boat ride, or fish. Water adds new wonder to the world because it's outside of where we spend the majority of our lives: land.
In the suburbs, there's still a chance to do any of these things as those neighborhoods are often on the brink between the city and the country. The best of both worlds!
2. Meet Someone New
This one is easier for some than it is others, but if you are willing to try it, you could find some amazing new friends. You could...
- Volunteer. Volunteering is an open and easy way to meet new people. You often work with a team of people with a unified goal, so you already have at least one thing in common. The fulfillment of giving and helping people in need also fills your heart with compassion, to replace the sadness of loneliness. You have people working with you, and people you are grateful for you.
- Join a team or club for fun. Not all people are professional sports players, but a lot of them still enjoy playing sports. There are hundreds of teams and leagues in which they play purely for the enjoyment of it. For example, I played hockey when I was younger, and there were men in there 70's and 80's still playing in a simple "bar league". If you're not into sports, there's still clubs for philosophy, art, music, reading, and more.
- Talk to a neighbor that you haven't met, or don't know that well. Maybe just send a friendly letter or say hello if you see them. In any sense, most people love to talk about themselves, so if you simply start a conversation and ask them about who they are and how they got where they are now could really open up an opportunity for a new friendship/relationship.
- Talk to anyone when running errands. There are guides all over the internet about conversation starters. With the billions of people in the world, there are plenty who are often in the same position you are, and would love to talk. And if they don't want to talk, it's no big deal. The chances of seeing that person again without making an effort is pretty slim. What is there to lose?
3. Do Something New
There are hundreds, probably thousands, of things you've never tried before. It could be simple, or complicated, depending on how much effort you're willing to put into it. Here a just a few, general ideas.
- Learn cool tricks. This could as simple as learning new ways to lace your shoes, or as complicated (and probably frustrating) as learning card tricks.
- Do some DIY projects. Again, hundreds and thousands of tutorials are on YouTube and the internet about how to make your own crafts, decorations, and projects in your own home.
- Try a new sport, or hobby. You could try writing on HubPages, playing a new video game, making music, cooking, reading, working out, drawing, etc.
- Learn something new. You don't have to go to school to learn. You can easily learn about business, history, or science by either searching it online, or going somewhere such as an actual business, or museum. The information might not go as in depth as say, college, but the more time you dedicate to it, the more you'll come to be good at it, and maybe enjoy it. It could lead to new opportunities in making your own business or starting a new career.
4. Do Something Familiar That You Enjoy
Last, but not least, there's always the option to do something you already enjoy, like:
- Doing hobby you already have learned, or are aiming to master.
- Playing a video game.
- Creating art (music, writing, drawing, etc.).
- Staying at home to chill. Sometimes there's nothing more relaxing and enjoyable than finding a good movie/show, getting your favorite snack/meal, and settling in for the day to just enjoy yourself at home.
Many of These Things Require Some Courage
Not all of these things are easy to do. Yes, sometimes things don't go the way you want them to, but the process doing something to replace that loneliness is so much more rewarding.
Which of these things do you think you'll do next?
Questions & Answers
© 2019 John McNally