What It's Really Like to be Single
Attending weddings alone isn't that bad
As a single person you will probably attend a lot of weddings and other events without a plus one. IT'S OKAY! Now who is going to stop you from that fifth tequila shot or seventh glass of champagne... NO ONE! You're drunk with power...or just drunk. No one can stop you from obnoxiously dancing with every single human being on the dance floor. And someone always hooks up at a wedding...when you arrive single there is a greater chance that could be you! Most importantly, if you get invited with a plus one attached on the invitation you can RSVP for two and then eat both meals!
Eating alone can be invigorating
So what if the Chinese delivery man already knows your apartment door code by heart or the lady behind the cafe counter already knows what you are going to order because it's Tuesday and you always order a latté, a half of a turkey panini, and half a caesar salad.... NO SHAME! Do you know how much you can accomplish when dining alone? You can work on assignments for work or school, you can write in a journal, you can shop online and refurnish your entire living room, you can play with other people's dogs, you can creepily watch people from afar and wonder what their life is like.... oh sorry did I go too far? You get the picture. So, who cares if you have to pay for your own meal every single time, you get a ton accomplished and tell the world you are independent.
You don't have to put on real pants for anybody
You want to sit in your apartment every Saturday night in sweat pants watching Gilmore Girls, drinking wine, and eating junk food? DO IT! Who is stopping you? Not a romantic partner...that's who! DRUNK WITH POWER! (Or just drunk...we aren't sure). Oh what's that? You do want to put on real pants and go out? DO IT! Call up your buds or go alone. You do you boo!
Read all of the books on your list
When you are single and want to read there is no one distracting you with plans or their hot bod. (That was joke...well sort of). Read all of the books on your list. Fill your brain with new stories and knowledge while you still can. Not to say non-single people don't read, but we can read more! DRUNK WITH POWER!
Not having to share your stuff is fun
"Babe, can I use your toothbrush?" "Honey, can I have one these beers?" "Can I eat these leftovers in your fridge?" Are those things really what you want to hear? NO! But you would say yes, even though on the inside you were plotting all the ways you could murder them and get away with it. What's that...you want one of my beers? Okay, but you are going to have to try and catch it as I'm pelting it at your head as I throw you out of my house!
You can cry at a TV show, movie, or...life (or anything else others may find embarrassing) without being hounded
Sometimes you need to just cry, or that show that you have been watching is getting really sad. Have you ever seen Parenthood? Tears during every single episode. I don't need to be judged for that. "What's wrong?" "Why are you so upset?" "Why do you keep watching this if it makes you cry?" BECAUSE! If I needed to be comforted I'd get a dog...just let me cry in peace! Or when you start feeling the fever (dance fever, not an actual fever...if you have an actual fever please stay seated) and need to have a thirty second dance party...DO IT! No one is there to judge you...or film you and post it to social media.
You don't have to bring anyone home for the holidays
While your family might hound you on why you are still single, but at least for now they can't be disappointed in your pick. The always awkward getting to know you, family conversation is so uncomfortable for everyone involved. Aren't the holidays for drinking and talking about Aunt Suzy's bad haircut, or the fact that cousin Mary dropped out of college to travel with her new boyfriend's band, or Grandma Mildred's new cat.
But when the timing is right
And when you do finally enter into a romantic relationship you wish you would have read more books, gone to more places, and done more things while being single. You will also know that you were fine on your own, and did not need another person to complete you.