In a world where coupledom is celebrated and encouraged, you may feel as if there is a lot of pressure on you to be actively looking to pair yourself with someone in the universe. The thing is, right now, right at this very moment, you could be really happy with yourself and/or feeling that you are really not compatible with anyone else. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
There is a stigma around being single that makes many singles feel like there may be something wrong with them if they have not found someone to love them. It is as if being single is equated with being a bench warmer, a reserve player, an extra in a movie starring all amazing couples, or an “if my client doesn’t make it, I’ll fit you in” type of person.
As if being single isn’t a choice.
You can be amazing and want to be alone. In fact, you could be so amazing that you decide to spend that much time alone because it’s just not possible to evenly distribute your awesomeness. With your friends, your family and yourself, you could say you’re pretty swamped at the moment.
It’s okay for you to have meaningful platonic relationships with others and at the end of the day be perfectly content (if not overjoyed) with your own company.
Now that we’ve got you all psyched up about your singleness, your mind is probably swirling with ways to woo yourself on your next one-man date. You’d be surprised at just how much you can enjoy solitude. Just like dating, doing things on your own is the perfect way to get to know yourself better. So here are a few things that are perfectly acceptable to do on your own and in public:
Take a Ride
If you don’t know how to ride a bike, then good for you. You get to spend more time with yourself learning how to do it (there are silver linings everywhere).
Once you have learned how to master the pedals, take a leisurely ride through (safe) scenic routes. Enjoy guilt-free, reflective, breezy, sun-in-your-face time alone. Cycling is a perfectly good thing to do on your own so you don’t even have to feel like people are secretly judging you for it.
Get Your Portrait Taken
You’re awesome. You know that. What better way to let other people know that you know that than to get your portrait painted?
This is a great activity to do on your own. Especially since, if you did it with a date you might feel awkward, move your expressions around uncomfortably and land up with a painting that is a bit more Picasso than you anticipated.
Another reason for doing this on your own is that you don’t have to feel bad for taking up anyone else's time, except the artists and well, you’re paying him/her.
If you don’t know how amazing you are yet, then see this as a stepping stone toward appreciating the fact that you are. Get your picture painted, hang it on your wall and every so often, look at that face and love it.
Have a Book Date
Books are accessories that, like cell phones, really help you out in an awkward situation. But unlike cellphones, people are more respectful of you reading in public (that’s probably not a fact but it makes for good logic). Stand next to a couple making out while you scroll through your cell phone and people are bound to create a 'forever alone' meme out of you. Stand next to that couple while reading a book and you’ll probably get a stranger walk up to them and tell them to have some respect. Well, let’s just say that’s what we’d like to believe right now.
Pick a day just to go out and relax. Go to the park, get a corner table in a coffee shop or go on an author discovery in a bookshop or library. Hey, you could even cycle there.
Cook for Yourself
Every person should, at least once in a while, take the time to truly have dinner by themselves. Not microwave/TV dinner and not fast food in the parking lot. An actual prepared-on-the-stove, made-with-love-and-attention, music-in-the-background, glass-of-wine-in-hand, candles-on-a-carefully-set-table type of meal. Okay, the wine is optional, but the candles not so much.
Treat yourself to amazing dinner made by you. Get some recipes, some candles, and your self-assured attitude. You deserve this.
Have a Movie Night
You know all those movies you suggested on a date/night out that were never received with enthusiasm? Remember all those times you heard the words “Are you kidding me?! We’ve watched this movie five times already! Can’t we watch something else?”
Introducing your very own movie night! A night where everything you say goes. Take out your DVD collection of all your favorite classic movies. Recite the entire movie, word for word. Out. Loud. Loudly eat your secret chocolate stash. In fact, eat all those non-movie snacks that people often judge you for wanting (now you can slurp all the soup you want). Laugh out loud, cry, be unnecessarily paranoid or be a hopeless romantic.
Have a day where you actually go out and discover answers without looking them up on Google. Yes, this does sound daunting but think about all the interesting answers you could come up with. You could even start a blog or your own YouTube channel called “Things I learned without the internet”
Visit libraries and museums (it may be funny to see what people were saying before the internet). Talk to people or conduct your own practical research on “what would happen if…” questions.
Learn how to dance. Try a solo-friendly dance style like tap dance or hip-hop.
Of course, there are many other things that you could do alone. It’s always good to know that you, in yourself, are such good company. The moments you share with yourself will show you just how remarkable you are, which is helpful for every time you meet someone new and mistakenly doubt this for a second. Being alone is not about closing yourself off from society; it’s about taking time out to explore your own being. It’s about consciously living from the inside out; exploring your own energy and reflecting on the space you fill in this world as an individual. It’s about being happy with you.
Nequita from Toronto on November 17, 2016:
I love this! So inspiring and makes me actually want to embrace singleness!
realtalk247 on September 11, 2013:
I love the article. I always feel that until you love yourself there is no room for anything else. Everyday is a celebration. Love yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Happiness comes from within.