How to Survive Being Lonely

Updated on December 28, 2016


Being lonely sucks. We've all been there at one time or another. However, for some reason, knowing that everyone goes through it doesn't bring much comfort. It's hard to see happy couples running rampant when all you want is for someone to love you like that. Or to see happy families with both parents when you can't remember the last time yours were in a room together without fighting. I'll say it again-loneliness sucks. But there are ways to cope with it and get through it. And I don't mean simply surviving until you finally meet that special someone or find the perfect group of friends. I mean thriving and enjoying life regardless of what others do or don't do. You can live a full life while you're alone.Yes, I said it. I know it's hard to believe right now but hopefully these tips will help.

Rule #1. Enjoy Your Own Company

Loneliness is a great opportunity to explore yourself more. You're not tied down by having to constantly adjust and compromise with someone else's beliefs and hobbies...yet. So, take this time to figure out what it is you like to do. And if you already know what that is, do more of it. Whether that's reading, writing, sewing, skating, gaming-the list is endless. Have some fun! DO NOT allow your life to be put on hold simply because you're not surrounded by who you think should be there. Live now! In this moment. And focus on your worldview and values as well. It's going to be important that these are grounded before you attempt merging them with anyone else's. So what makes you tick? What makes you laugh? Write down a few of your fav-o-rite things. Get to know you-the wonderful, amazing, unforgettable YOU!

Rule #2. Find Something Bigger than Yourself

It's easy to become kind of self-centered and wrapped up in your own thoughts, sometimes, when you're by yourself. In order to combat this, get out and do something important! Lose yourself in a project or dream that will benefit the world in some way. Volunteer, pray, donate! Whatever it is that makes you realize you have purpose and value that does not come from any fellow human being. You are a contributor to the good things in this world and that is absolutely amazing! Some (like me) find it in having a spiritual life. Some find it through advocating for those who can't always advocate for themselves. Whatever it is-find it, and then never let it go!

Rule #3. Get Out There!

Ultimately, we are inherently social creatures. That's why loneliness bothers us in the first place. So, eventually, the goal will be to find a strong support system that can help you through the times when you are feeling alone. However, if this was so easy, you wouldn't be reading this right now so I'm going to provide some advice. Use the skills you've learned in Rules 1 and 2. Show people what excites you and makes you happy. Explain to them what you're passionate about. Be your true, authentic self. One thing that most people don't realize is that most people really just want to be around others they can trust and being 100% who-you-are is a great way of helping them see that in you. Always be kind, remember you don't have to be perfect, and don't forget to smile! You'll be making some pretty awesome friends in no time!

Rule #4. Never Change!

This rule is weird because it's describing something not to do but it's still very important. Sometimes, loneliness can hurt so much that we're willing to do almost anything to keep the pain away. Even if that means lowering our standards or shirking our values to be accepted by someone or join a group. This is never okay. If you ever have to do anything that makes you validly uncomfortable in order to fit in with someone, that's someone you don't need in your life. Never lose yourself trying to find someone. Loneliness sucks but all the work it takes to build yourself back up after fading away is much,much worse-take it from me. So, take your time. People will come. In the meantime, enjoy being by yourself and, for God's sake, live your incredibly full and beautiful life!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)