Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.
Single and Lovin' It
I never imagined that I would be living the single life at my age, but shit happens. The last time I filed my taxes, the government declared me as a single woman so I began my single lifestyle and so far, so good.
I love to mingle, and people intrigue me. Their actions, thoughts, and beliefs or disbeliefs are most of the time very interesting. As an extrovert, mingling helps recharge me. Mingling among boring people is exhausting. After much trial and error, I have managed to have my mingling talents down pat. So I think.
One must use these tactics diligently so as to not arouse suspicions from surrounding parties. In addition, one must not give off the indication that their tactics are to be taken as rude. Heck, we all can't be the life of the party. Some of us are just destined to be boring.
As a single woman in her mid-fifties who taught herself to fly solo among various age groups, I am now ready to share some of my tips with you.
To Mingle or Not
The single life isn't for everyone. Some people need to be part of a relationship, they need the security of knowing there is someone there for them. We are all unique in our own ways.
I've experienced two marriages, divorce and widowhood - I am currently back on the path of being single and mingling. I have learned so much along the way and I hope to learn more.
Keep in mind that while one is mingling that doesn't indicate they are searching for their next mate. Mingling is socializing. Meeting new friends. Acquiring new contacts. Learning about others while also learning about yourself.
The art of flying solo is not an easy craft to master for some. You might feel that others are judging you for being alone. You might actually feel alone. You might feel self-conscious that others take pity on you. Well, the heck with those thoughts. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin and have self-confidence you have the power to soar as your pilot and you can maneuver your flight pattern however the heck you wish.
Single and Ready to Mingle
- Be proud of your lifestyle. Wear your "I'm single and ready to mingle" badge with pride or else mingling might not come as easy for you.
- Don't be intimidated when you find yourself surrounded by couples. Chances are those couples wish they were single and mingling.
- Appreciate the single lifestyle even more when you encounter bickering couples.
- Realize that the freedom to mingle is refreshing and you aren't confined to just one person and the usual banter.
- Having to not answer to anyone is enlightening. You realize your strength and weaknesses while mingling with others.
- Do not be clingy while mingling. Oh lordy, no one likes a clingy person. Go with the flow.
- Learn to work the room by saying a few words and moving along. On your second trip around the room you could linger longer if opportunity arises.
- You go out alone to mingle and most of the time, you go home alone, use this time to detox. While I am an extrovert, I am also a bit of an introvert and that time is used to recharge which is crucial.
- While stuck in a dull conversation simply excuse yourself to use the restroom then carefully maneuver the room upon your return as to not get stuck again.
- Mingling is the art of interacting with all types of people. Don't get caught in lengthy conversations because you never know who is waiting in the wings to mingle with you.
- Don't demand the stage. You are mingling, intruding on other peoples conversations will not earn you a Mingling Merit Badge.
Make New Friends While Mingling
- Add an accessory to your outfit that could spark a conversation.
- Hold your drink in your left hand so that your right hand is available to shake hands.
- Use your solo adventure to find out all about you. Heck, make this time all about you. It's okay to be selfish especially if you just exited a hardship.
- Don't allow others to cause conflict along your path. Continue to move forward.
- Do not be desperate. By all means desperation is taboo.
- If you are a female, women in relationships may fear your strength and confidence. They may also fear you stealing their man. Don't allow their issues to become your issues.
- If you are a male, men and women might assume that you are a player. If you are then work it, if you aren't then work them. Point being - who cares what anyone thinks!
- People assume that single means available. This is not always the case. While you are mingling help spread the word that being single doesn't mean that you are in need of a partner. One should want a partner - not need.
- Being single is not a status. It's merely a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
- Mention that you are mingling as you work the crowd, but also mention that you will be back to chat later.
- Do not be fake. Fake people have no idea how transparent they are. Be the real deal.
- While mingling be sure and listen, not just talk. Conversations should flow. Don't be long winded.
- Don't be a know-it-all while in a mingle session. If you feel the need to brag, excuse yourself and mingle solo since no one wants to hear you.
- You may feel that you are too socially awkward to mingle. This may be true, but you might surprise yourself once you begin to mingle. Perhaps having a drink beforehand to relax you might help.
- When you aren't in the mood to mingle, I suggest people watching or as I refer to it, character casting.
If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If it's not, then it won't.
© 2018 Linda Bilyeu
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 10, 2018:
It sounds like you know what you are doing and enjoying your life which is great. Being an extrovert would definitely be a plus! Thanks for all your tips Linda. It may be of help to others who are single.
Nell Rose from England on February 22, 2018:
I am sort of single, and yes I love to mingle! lol! not much chance in my town these days though, the pubs are all closing down, and friends have moved away. Its pretty difficult to get back into the swing.
DDE on February 09, 2018:
It is great to be single and mingle if you are comfortable with that. Be yourself and enjoy the moment. A single life is preferred for most individuals. It doesn't mean if you are single your life needs to go downhill. Just be happy and enjoy that lifestyle. Be true to yourself and free spirited.
FlourishAnyway from USA on February 07, 2018:
You’ve mastered this. Great practical tips!
Suzie from Carson City on February 06, 2018:
YO, girlfriend... Looks to me like you have this single & mingle thing down to a science! Of course I expected this of you, always being a people-person and having the gift of social grace. It's good to know you're directing your own life and paving your own path!
You GO, girl. Enjoy every moment! Love ya, Effer
Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on February 06, 2018:
Linda, I'm single and very comfortable with it. I've been divorced twice and haven't had a serious relationship since 2012. I'm okay with that. I like being by myself and not having to answer to anyone, or cater to someone else.
Although I was quite social when I was younger, I'm finding that I enjoy my "self" time. When I feel the need, I socialize with my neighbors. I never go out to the bars. It's cheaper to drink at home and I don't have to deal with people I'd rather not.
I'm glad you're getting back out there and finding comfort in being just you. More power to you, girl!
Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on February 06, 2018:
Great article about being single, yet live a meaningful life. You wrote from the heart and you are a brave woman. Appreciate your positive attitude towards life.
Thanks for sharing some valuable suggestions in this article!