Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun.
Funny Excuses for Being Single
There are nosy people everywhere! Oftentimes, these people just can’t help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they say—even if you don't want to discuss your relationship status!
Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partner’s, if you have one). But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. If you’re still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works.
I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question “Why are you still single?”. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status.
Funny Answers to “Why Are You Still Single?”
- Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight!
- I’m overqualified!
- I’m too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine.
- That’s because I’m too expensive.
- What do you mean I’m still single. For your information, I’m in a relationship with food. Have you met food?
- Single is the new black—if that even makes sense!
- That’s because I choose fries over guys.
- That’s because my crush is a fictional character.
- I only fall in love with anime characters.
- Who told you that? The police? The government?
- That’s because I’m a grammar nazi!
- No one loves superheroes. That’s why I’m single.
- Siri, why am I still single? *Siri activates front camera*
- Well, becau—it’s jus—honestl—I thi—uhh.
- I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them.
- That’s because I’m an awkward potato.
- I didn’t realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward.
- I’m not ready to share my food with anyone yet.
- That’s because I eat Doritos chips too loudly.
- Because my milkshake doesn’t bring boys to the yard. (bonus points to you if you sing it)
- That’s because my true love is food.
- I’d rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring.
- I haven’t met the right one yet. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now.
- Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans.
- Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. I learned my lesson.
- Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie?
- I have a strange obsession with waffles.
- That’s because my husband/wife won’t let me date.
- Are you serious? Me being single is just a conspiracy!
- I haven’t found anyone who matches my kinks yet.
- Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you!
- I’m quite certain that I’m single because I didn’t forward those chain messages stating: “forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck” in the past.
- I just adore my own company. *sips wine/tea*
- That’s because I eat pizza with a fork.
- The music billboard charts got it wrong! The hottest single of the year is me.
Flirty Comebacks and Retorts
- Are you flirting with me right now? Because if you are, you’re doing it right. *licks lips*
- That’s because I haven’t met you.
- Well, where have you been all my life?
- If you knock on my heart’s door, I might let you in.
- Because you haven’t put a ring on it yet.
- Well, are you? If you are, then maybe we’re meant to be!
- Because you haven’t asked me out yet.
- That’s because I’m still waiting for you. *wink*
- I only have you in my mind and heart.
- Stop joking! We’re already married, remember?!
- I’m too expensive. If you want, I’ll give you a discount, baby.
- I’m still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman?
- Why? Do you want to get on with it?
- Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear.
- Because I’ve been waiting for you all my life.
- I’d hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me.
Clever Responses to “Why Are You Still Single?”
- Two words: Trust issues!
- That’s because I get about as much attention as a white crayon.
- I put the “I” in single!
- No, wait...I’m actually plural. I repeat I am plural!
- My only talent is not being in a relationship.
- My heart is empty, just like my wallet.
- If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China.
- God is still busy writing my love story.
- That’s because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge.
- Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience.
- My standards are higher than what I’ve seen lately.
- That’s because I’m like the last slice of pizza. Everyone wants me, but no one dares!
- Being single is much better than being married. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people.
- It could be raining men, and I’d still be single.
- Wait, let me pull out my list.
- I’m not single. I’m in a relationship with myself. It’s going great, really!
- Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums.
- Let’s just say if I was a Pokémon, my ability would be “Oblivious.”
- Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! (This line came from the cartoon show Rick and Morty.)
- Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal.
- Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. Sounds like effort to me.
- A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business.
- I’m telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me.
- Consistency is key, you know.
- Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey.
- Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Just look what happened there!
Sarcastic Responses and Counters
- Do I even have to explain it to you?
- Why do you care? Scram!
- Look at me and tell me why!
- Ugh! *rolls eyes in disgust*
- Stop asking me why I’m single! I don’t go around asking how you’re still married, do I?
- That’s the biggest joke I’ve heard recently.
- It’s better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less.
- Why do you ask? Are you going to marry me?
- I have money and looks, not like you!
- Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you?
- Ha! Look who’s talking!
- What? I can’t even afford to feed myself!
- If you’re not going to say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!
- Is my relationship status a joke to you?!
- My husband/wife is dead, that’s why!
- Are you asking just to make yourself feel better?
- Do I look like someone who’s into cheesy things like romantic relationships?!
- Obviously, that’s because I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend!
- Bah humbug!
- You speak as if you’re not single yourself!
How to Respond to the Question “Why Are You Still Single?”
- We can’t always get what we want now, can we?
- I hate to break it to you, but I’m not single.
- I’m single by choice. It’s not my choice, but it’s still a choice.
- I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.
- My bed only has enough room for me and my dog.
- I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me.
- I’m in a loving, committed relationship with my bed.
- I don’t know. I just woke up like that one day.
- I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date.
- Just so you know, I value “me” time over “we” time.
- There’s this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didn’t hear the question.
- It’s because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Yup, I don’t share it.
- Well, I’m married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
- I’m married to video games!
- Nowadays, potential mates need money. As for me, I can’t even afford honey!
- Because I love grammar.
- Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face?
- When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate!
- I could never tell when someone’s flirting with me or if they’re just being nice.
Read More From Pairedlife
Serious Answers and Replies
- I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction.
- It’s the same reason why I don’t post pictures of myself.
- All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. I don’t follow boys/girls because they’re not my passion. I don’t chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires.
- I don’t even know. You tell me!
- I’m a wreck of a human being, that’s why!
- No one deserves me.
- The answer is simple. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me.
- If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Get your own life first before you try sharing it.
- That’s because the person I like doesn’t like me back.
- Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone.
- I hate everyone!
- I’m glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that I’m single and ain’t nobody cheating on me tonight.
- Because I’d rather be alone than put up with someone’s sh*t!
- Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza?
- Being ignored is a hobby of mine.
- I don’t have time to accommodate other human beings in my life!
- That’s because there’s no vacancy in my heart.
- Because I’m awkward and ugly. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think.
Slartybartfast on March 04, 2019:
Fortunately for me no one who knows my ex has ever asked me that.
Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on February 13, 2019:
Excellent article, with some Interesting answers!
Perhaps, this is the most asked question, to the youngsters and I can imagine their irritation, when they are asked this question. It’s a personal decision and people should avoid asking it. But that’s the way of the society, the family and some friends.
I enjoyed going through your questions and answers.
Thanks for sharing!
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on February 12, 2019:
"Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums." Good one, and so are they all. Thanks for the entertainment.
Poppy from Enoshima, Japan on February 11, 2019:
Some funny responses here! You definitely deserve a sarcastic reply if you're rude enough to ask someone why they're single. It's a pretty personal question, after all.