8 Reasons You Can't Pursue a Relationship

Updated on September 8, 2017

A lot of people wonder why they cannot pursue relationships with the people they like. Many of them start to believe there is something wrong with them, and let their self-esteem go down. The reality is relationships are something that happens naturally and spontaneously and usually people who are highly anxious about relationships and overly self-conscious tend to have more difficulties when meeting and connecting with people.

1. You Are Too Self-Conscious

To begin connecting with someone, you need a decent amount of self confidence. When you are quiet and withdrawn from people they tend to overlook you. People sometimes try to socialize with shy and quiet people but if they feel like they can’t make you comfortable enough to open up they will eventually give up and move on. There is nothing wrong or shameful about being open about yourself and your human need to connect with people. Even if you get rejected or criticized, it’s normal part of socializing and dating. Be sure that it happens to everyone.

2. You Simply Didn’t Happen to Find the Right One for You

There is truth in the saying that there is someone for everyone. However, you need to be patient before that someone comes into your life. Many people go through a few unsuccessful relationships or daring experiences until they find the one that is best for them. Be patient and give yourself some time.

3. You Have a Negative Mindset and Take Neutral Signs as Signs of Rejection

This happens often to people who have low-self-esteem and interpret every interaction as a slight towards them. Maybe your crush didn’t respond immediately to your text, and you convince yourself they must hate you and make fun of you now. So you give up on them and feel miserable about yourself. If you often find yourself in that thought process, try to change your mindset, and don’t interpret every little thing as rejection.

4. You Think You Are Making a Move but the Person Doesn’t Realize That

Some people pick up more easily on social cues and others need more hints to realize that someone is interested in them. Don’t be afraid to make a further move if you feel like the person you are interested in doesn’t respond to your hints.

5. You Give up Too Easily

So if you invited the person out, and they said they were busy. You immediately interpret that as rejection.But what if they were really busy, or maybe anxious themselves? Whatever you pursue in life you need to give it some time and effort. If you give up, the person you are interested in may think that you lost interest, so it will be a loss for both of you.

6. You Pick the Wrong People

Many people are continually interested in people who don’t like them back. It’s unclear why this pattern forms, but it could be because you tend to form crushes on popular people who will most likely reject you. Maybe you have a thing for people who are already in relationships or are not interested in being in a relationship. If you find yourself falling for these kinds of people ask yourself why and try to change that.

7. You Don’t Socialize Enough with People

You may be shy or just introverted and don’t like socializing a lot. Being an introvert is great, but when you keep your circle of friends and acquaintances small your chances of finding the right person also decrease. Don’t worry if you have to extend your circles of friends sometimes, that doesn’t necessarily have to be bad thing. There are plenty of awesome people to meet outside of your social circle and maybe one of them will end up being your soul mate.

8. You're Still in High School

Yes, teenage and high school years may make you feel like you must be in relationship to feel normal. Your hormone levels are also high and you spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationships. That’s totally normal and perfectly fine but you need to realize that in high school dating oftentimes is difficult as you are surrounded by people who care too much about social status and love to put others down. Being rejected by a person you interested in, sometimes even in a rude and humiliating way happens to many people. Don’t let that affect your self-esteem. In high school you also are not experienced and mature enough to know what you want from a relationship, so be patient. There is plenty of time to get in a serious relationship, enjoy your high school years without worrying too much about it.


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    • profile image

      Jade Anibor 

      14 months ago

      Beautiful article! I enjoyed it. Another reason could be the individual has not discovered him/herself. Discovering yourself; such as your needs, desires, likes and dislikes, and exactly what you looking for in a person and in a relationship, will help in finding the right person. If a relationship is not right for you, no matter how hard you try; your efforts would always seem wrong.

    • profile image


      15 months ago

      How should I take it when just before entering a room with people my boyfriend of 2 weeks and I are friends with, walks ahead of me acting like we’re not together? He’s done this a few times now and I don’t like it!

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago from Chicago

      Excellent article!

      One other possibility is when someone does (like you) you put them in your "friend zone". Everyone rejects people because we all have our own "mate selection process" and "must haves list."

      Sometimes without believing it we're aiming out of our league. You are rarely going see someone who looks like Melissa McCarthy dating a guy who looks like Brad Pitt. That's life!

      "Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless (you) are a star!"

      Ultimately rejection just means "next"!

      Thankfully there are over (7 Billion) other people on the planet!


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