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25 Things Single Men Want Women to Know

Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.

There Is No Perfect Man

Through trial and error, the single lifestyle continues to flourish while both sexes continue to make mistakes. But will they learn from their mistakes? That is the question. Hopefully, this article will provide some answers.

Both men and women have their expectations on what they are looking for in their significant other. Or perhaps they aren't looking for a mate, but instead are looking for someone to smash. For those unfamiliar with the term smash - it's also referred to as sex.

I interviewed some of my single male friends about what they want to tell women and their responses were very interesting. I was quite surprised that I didn't receive any duplicate responses. These men were also quick to share their advice.

One of my favorite quotes was, "There are good men out there, but no perfect guy." And as a woman, I agree. Perfection is overrated. Perfection is also boring. If one is perfect, there is no room for improvement.

I hope women don't take these responses personally but instead take them to heart and learn a lesson or two or twenty-five. The responses should not place men in a bad spotlight as this is not my intention. Appreciate the humor, wit, sarcasm that they share and who knows you just might meet your match one day.

No names will be used to protect the innocent, or so they say.


Men Share Their Advice

  1. We don't want to hear about your previous relationships. We feel like you are comparing us and creating a label. Possibly down the road you could share, but not early in a relationship.
  2. We might not want to date you, but we might want to smash you. If we could agree to just smash and you have no other expectations, we will get along just fine.
  3. If you put out on the first date you will just be someone I smash. There will never be a future for us. Try waiting until after the third date.
  4. Do not expect me to respond to every text you send me. Men don't need constant communication.
  5. We like the thrill of the chase. We don't like when you are easy to catch. We don't like when you are always available, that takes away from the thrill.
  6. Don't be demanding. We don't like to take orders.
  7. Don't be afraid to approach us; to initiate contact. We don't bite. Unless you want us too.
  8. We understand you might have male friends which is why you should respect our female friends. We don't want any cat fights.
  9. We do not want any drama. And by any, we mean any.
  10. Do not expect us to pay for everything. We like to be treated to a drink or meal also.

No Stalking Allowed

11. Use current photos for online dating. This way if we do meet up I could easily find you! And do not use fake profiles to stalk me.

12. We don't want to cuddle and chat after smashing. Sorry ladies but the old saying "Wham, Bam, Thank you ma'am" stands true. We just want to go to sleep.

13. We know that some women enjoy the thrill of the chase too and the bad boy factor but not all men are bad. Some of us actually want to treat you right. You just have to figure out what you want and find the right guy.

14. Chances are we will ghost you when we are no longer interested. Do not take it personally. We would rather ghost you than have to explain why we no longer want contact. Women require a lengthy and detailed conversation that could go on for hours. Men don't have time for that because we most likely have already moved on. Just let us go and in the long run, it will be best for you.

15. Try not to go psycho stalker with us. You have to admit that you all are a bit crazy. Men don't want to deal with crazy. Don't slash my tires or key my car—just let us go!

We Don't Like Games

16. Men want women to be genuine. The real deal. Not fake. We like independent women who aren't needy. If you could change a flat tire that would be a bonus, but not expected.

17. Emotionally intelligent women are appreciated. They are able to express themselves without the games that some play. We do not like emotional games. We want to be able to have a conversation with you and not think you are contemplating castrating us.

18. Stop listening to your single female friends as to why your relationships aren't working; there is a reason most of those women are single. Start listening to your male friends, they just might have better advice. Better yet having open communication with the guy that you are interested in seems best.

19. We don't like when you overuse makeup. Applying makeup to accentuate your beauty in a natural way is acceptable, but it's unacceptable if you look totally different once you wash your face.

20. We are not looking for high maintenance women. If I wanted high maintenance I would hire a hooker.

21. Respect each other's individuality. We might have different interests and that is fine. Companionship is nice, but understand that I might not want to spend all my free time with you. There is no need to argue or get upset if we decide to hang out with the boys all weekend. You hang out with the girls. It's a win-win!

We Like Compliments Too

22. We don't want to hear "I dunno" when we ask you a direct question. We would like to hear "Yes" or "No." Where do you wanna eat? What do you wanna do tonight? Just answer. We don't read minds. We also don't want to have to assume and then we both end up disappointed.

23. We want you to be yourself. We want you to be comfortable being with us. So when we do go out to eat, don't order a salad, order a steak. We want to watch you enjoy your meal and we don't want you picking at our food.

24. Just like you appreciate compliments so do we. Tell us we look nice. Tell us we smell good. We aren't asking for an ego boost, OK maybe some of us are, we just like to feel appreciated for the effort we put into our date.

25. My philosophy is to identify 2-3 absolute deal breakers; everything else is negotiable. This is easier than having a long list of must-haves. Deal breakers are essential when juggling multiple options.

Thank you to the men who shared their advice, thoughts, and opinions.

(Stay tuned for my upcoming article: 25 Things Single Women Want Men to Know)

We don't want to be mothered or smothered.


Slartybartfast on May 30, 2019:

Men like the chase, yeah like a lion likes getting kicked in the head by a water buffalo.

No men do not like the chase, cads, like the chase, PUAs like the chase.

Men Absolutely hate it.

I'd rather never date again then have to go through the rediculous process.

A mutually beneficial relationship doesn't happen when one person decides they are the prize and the other person must capitulate to a set of ever changing "rules" that put them in an inferior position.

DDE on May 15, 2018:

Men just as women do like their differences. It is not always that men would feel this way. The age group is noted and and interesting insight here.

Suzie from Carson City on May 07, 2018:

GF...."Smashing".....don't think I can adjust to some of the new terms. Sounds a bit dangerous!! LOL

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on May 07, 2018:

Got it, no smashing for Effer. :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on May 07, 2018:

Haha! I am also still adjusting to the term smashing.

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on May 07, 2018:

Excellent point about the ages of these men. They varied from 21-55. Some are divorced, some have never been married, one is in a relationship and at age 21 was a wealth of information. Thanks for your feedback!

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on May 06, 2018:

The very first thing that I learned is a new colloquial word meaning and that is "smash." The regular meaning of smashing a tennis ball with a hard overhand stroke or breaking something as in smashing a plate by accidentally dropping it on the floor is what I think of with regard to that word. I may never again think of smashburgers in the same way. Haha!

dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 06, 2018:

Sound advice!

The one caveat of course is the age group of the men

Guys in their teens, 20s, and early 30s are most likely to identify with all the things listed. However those in their mid 30s, 40s, and beyond are usually at a different stage of their lives.

Older guys may be open to having discussions about what led to the failure of previous marriage or long-term relationship and the lessons each of them learned.

"If you put out on the first date you will just be someone I smash. There will never be a future for us. Try waiting until after the third date." If a guy is truly "into a woman" none of that matters.

This also changes with age. A man in his 40s or 50s isn't going to walk away from potential relationship with a woman simply because she had sex with him on the first date unless it wasn't a "good experience". Sexual incompatibility reduce second dates.

By the same token many older women no longer are interested in chasing the "fairytale" and therefore chose to have sex whenever (they) want to without a hidden agenda or caring what a man thinks.

The "calendar game" or number of dates prior to sex means little to older men and women. Compatibility and enjoying each other is key.

Suzie from Carson City on May 05, 2018:

Woo-Hoo! My favorite Queen of Lists is back! Leave it to you to become a "woman-on-the-street-roving-reporter!" Job well done, girlfriend....LOL Since you & I know one another Soooo WELL, I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that ole Effer has had "men," in general all figured out extremely well, long ago! Which, BTW, can accurately explain why I shall be a lone, independent, on-my-own, happy, sexy(Grand)-Mama..from here on out!!

At his point in my life, I'll be quite willing to date for dinner and a movie perhaps.....but the date ENDS at my front door, Thank you very much! Besides girlfriend, I gotta tell you, at my age, the only bulge in his pants I'm interested in, is his fat wallet!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLO....but I'll go out with YOU anytime!! Love ya girl! Effer

Margaret Minnicks from Richmond, VA on May 05, 2018:

Your list of 25 things single men want women to know covers a variety of areas. Every single woman should read your article.

FlourishAnyway from USA on May 05, 2018:

This is the first time I’ve heard the term smash. Yuck. At first I thought it referred to violence. I wish those guys would get another term. I didn’t like that man’s assumption that all women are a little psycho. Maybe that’s why he’s single. I like the concept of the article though. Good job, Linda!

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