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130+ Deep Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend


I'm Tatiana and am a firm believer in the power of holistic healing and home remedies! Apple cider vinegar for the win!


We are often on the hunt to find things that we have in common with in our partners, which leads to us learning many likes and dislikes by way of asking many questions. One of the qualities that people look for in relationship compatibility is how well they can connect on an intellectual level! Although it’s not important to all, if it is important to one person, it most certainly should be important to the other to ensure great conversation!

One of the ways to test intellectual compatibility is to ask deep questions. To ask your boyfriend deep questions means you are essentially seeing how well he keeps up with important news, to learn his views on controversial topics, and to just see what subjects stimulate him the most. If you are looking for some deep questions to ask your boyfriend, here’s a bunch!

Need questions for your girl instead? Check out 100+ Deep Questions to Ask a Girl!

Hard Questions to Make Him Think

  1. If you could fix one world problem, what would it be?
  2. If you could live in any era, which would it be and why?
  3. What advice would you give to a person who is just graduating high school?
  4. If you could have chosen your own name, what would you have picked?
  5. If your home was on fire and you only had time to grab 3 things, what would they be?
  6. If you became famous, would you enjoy the limelight or miss your privacy?
  7. If you had $200 to spend on something special just for me, what would you buy?
  8. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
  9. If you were told you have a terminal illness, how would you take the news?
  10. If you only had a week left to live, what are some things you would do?
  11. Would you sacrifice yourself for a stranger?
  12. If a family member needed a kidney and you were the only match, would you give one up?
  13. If I wanted a puppy for my birthday, would you adopt a purebred from a breeder or a mix from a shelter?
  14. You suspect that your neighbors may be abusing their child, do you mind your own business or call the police?
  15. If I went missing, my body never recovered, would you move on or devote your life to looking for me? If you did move on, how long would you wait?
  16. If you could invite 3 people to dinner, who would they be?
  17. If you could live til you were 90 and either have the mind or body of a 30-yr-old, which would you choose and why?
  18. If you could wake up tomorrow and have gained one ability, what would it be and why?
  19. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your life, me, or the future, what would you want to know?
  20. If you could live anywhere, where would you live?

Learn About How He Sees Himself and What He’s Like Inside

  1. Which one fits you better? "Live for the moment", or "Save the best for last"?
  2. What's your favorite thing about yourself?
  3. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
  4. Do you prefer going out or staying in?
  5. Would you consider yourself an externally motivated or internally motivated person?
  6. How do you deal with failure?
  7. Do you put more attention to the people around you or the things around you?
  8. When things break, do you prefer to fix them or replace them?
  9. Would you consider yourself materialistic?
  10. What would you consider a perfect day?
  11. What would be your perfect date night?
  12. What are some things that offend you?
  13. What is one thing that you cannot start your day without?
  14. If you’re stressed out, what helps you wind down?
  15. When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Why?
  16. What inspires you?
  17. Would you consider yourself an optimist, pessimist, or realist?
  18. We notice an old man living out of a shopping cart behind a grocery store. What is your first thought about him?
  19. Someone calls me something horrible. Do you let me fight my own battles, or jump in and defend me?
  20. Do you think it's okay to have a close female friend at work?
  21. What are three things you are willing to splurge on for yourself?
  22. What's something that no one else knows about you?
  23. Do you ever rehearse a phone call beforehand?
  24. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  25. What are you most thankful for?
  26. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  27. What do you most fear about getting older?

Video: Romantic Gift Ideas for Boyfriends

Get to Know More About His Past

  1. Have you ever done something you regretted?
  2. Where do you see yourself in five years?
  3. What is your happiest memory?
  4. When was the last time you shed a tear?
  5. What is a tradition you did as a child that you want to do with your kids someday?
  6. What are some things in life that you had to learn the hard way?
  7. Do you have any dreams from childhood that you can vividly recall?
  8. What were your childhood aspirations, and how have they changed?
  9. How do you picture your life when you're 60?
  10. What is your most terrible memory?
  11. How have you changed the most since you were younger?
  12. In what areas do you want to change the most?
  13. When was the first time you were in love?
  14. When was the first time you said I love you?
  15. Is there any book that changed your life?
  16. What is your biggest insecurity?
  17. Is there anything you’re ashamed of?
  18. Is there anything you wouldn’t want your family to know?
  19. If you could change anything about the past, what would it be?

Political Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

  1. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high nowadays?
  2. What do you think is the biggest flaw of the welfare system?
  3. If you were running for president, what are three key things you would include in your campaign?
  4. Are you pro-choice or pro-life?
  5. How do you feel about genetically modified food?
  6. What is one thing that you feel would make any small business owner more successful?
  7. What invention do you think has done the most for the human race?
  8. Should children be allowed to have cell phones?
  9. Do you think a person’s outward appearance says anything about who they are as a person?
  10. How important do you think it is to do well in school?
  11. Would you consider yourself proud to live in this country?
  12. Is there anything too serious to be joked about?
  13. What are your views on the political system?

Deep Questions to Learn How He Feels About Relationships

  1. What is your position on premarital sex?
  2. What do you look for most in a spouse?
  3. What religious/spiritual views do you have and why?
  4. How important is it for you to save money?
  5. How important is it for you to invest money?
  6. How important do you think sex is in a marriage?
  7. If one of us had to move far away, would you be able to handle a long distance relationship?
  8. What is one thing that can destroy a relationship and never be forgiven?
  9. Do you want to have kids someday when you meet the right person?
  10. Do you think it’s more important to work or spend time with family?
  11. What are three key elements in every successful relationship?
  12. Do you think people can or should be friends with their exes?
  13. Do you believe emotional 'cheating' is just as bad as real cheating?
  14. What do you think of open relationships?

Learn About Your Relationship and How He Feels About You

  1. When did you first realize you wanted to be with me?
  2. Are you looking for commitment?
  3. What was your first impression of me?
  4. Would you surprise me with an expensive gift, or would you consult me before spending the money on it?
  5. Would you rather I be good in the kitchen or good in the bedroom?
  6. What do you think is more admirable, a stay-at-home mom or a career driven mom?
  7. Would you rather leave a big impact on the world or a big impact in your family?
  8. What song do you think best fits our relationship?
  9. What famous real or fictional couple reminds you the most of us?
  10. Do you think a proposal should be a grand public display or a private intimate moment?
  11. If we had children, what features would you want them to get from you and which from me?
  12. What is something you appreciate about me?
  13. What do you think are three things we have in common?
  14. What are the biggest differences between us?
  15. Is there anything in our relationship that you think we need to work on?
  16. What’s something you could never compromise about?

Deep, Serious, and Spiritual Questions

  1. Do you believe in heaven?
  2. Do you believe in soulmates?
  3. Do you forgive and forget or forgive and remember?
  4. If you had kids, what would be your biggest hope and biggest fear for them?
  5. What is one area in your life where you feel like something is missing?
  6. Do you believe there is good in everyone?
  7. Do you think your significant other can be both your best friend and your lover?
  8. Do you think it’s better to have the worst house in a nice neighborhood or the best house in a bad neighborhood?
  9. Is life anything like you had pictured it would be growing up?
  10. Would you rather have a life full of love or a life full of money?
  11. Can a positive outlook make any situation better?
  12. Do you think children are more of a blessing or a burden?
  13. Do you believe in the phrase "opposites attract"?
  14. Who are three people in your life that you would risk dying for?
  15. If I was giving birth to our child and complications arose that meant only one of us would make it, who would you save?
  16. What would you want said about you after you die?
  17. If you could go back in time to give advice to your younger self, what would you say?
  18. What is your life story?
  19. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  20. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share . . . .”
  21. If you died tonight, is there anything you’d regret not having told someone?
  22. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing and why?
  23. What’s a problem you’re dealing with right now?
  24. What’s the biggest struggle that you’ve ever faced?
  25. Would you let me help you with your biggest problems?

Make Things Fun

As much as I love asking my man some serious questions to find out what he's really thinking, a long list of deep questioning might feel like a bit straining, so I definitely recommend mixing up the serious questions with some fun ones to keep things light and keep the conversation moving!

Once you and your boyfriend are ready to lighten the mood, be sure to check out these lists for more interesting question/answer sessions!


Major Japan Lady on June 30, 2020:

that is so nice

Read More From Pairedlife

Rejoice on April 24, 2020:

Both what of now if I can not say I love you to the guy both I like him

Thank you

Lisa on March 11, 2020:

These are some really great questions! Love em all! Thank you for sharing

RZKFMA on February 06, 2020:

Very superb qsns...these qsns r hlps cntnue my spkng vth my lvr..pray 4 our love...RF

Katlin harp on November 09, 2019:

What do you do if you are completely in love with a guy, and he's completely in love with you but, your friends don't want you to be with him, but you really love him, and at the same time you don't wanna lose your friends?

Self-Improvement from Pakistan on February 04, 2019:

Deep inquiry of relationship, by the way in order to control your obesity please read the article via click

Selina rose on August 05, 2018:

Interesting article

Vishwanath11 on August 02, 2018:

nice one post

As a guy, im telling u these questions are a BAD idea on July 08, 2018:

As a guy, im telling u these questions are a BAD idea and only work when the conversation is happening in your head... by your self!

yasmin on July 05, 2018:

How can can i date two boys at the same time cant choose

Schöner on May 31, 2018:

How can I love him !

Kirstee on May 01, 2018:

Wow this is so amazing and sometimes you are scared of asking but if you don't ask you won't know. In the past I have asked really deep questions but with 2 bottles of wine to take the edge of a bit lol

Tatiana (author) from Florida on April 15, 2018:

Thanks, Heather. I do too. I'm glad you liked my question ideas.

Nkosinathi on April 04, 2018:

Really love is hurt sometimes. Now how can l have a peaceful relationship with my girlfriend, l mean to forgive her & forget ? after l heard a hectic stories years back about her past

HeatherMD87 on March 20, 2018:

I think this is really important in developing a relationship.

Aubrey on February 20, 2018:

Why are these questions more like opinions

mynamejeff69 on December 26, 2017:

i dont have boyfriend but this nice article good work



Nancy on October 22, 2017:

Please take me off your Pinterest list--I do not want this in my Pinterest page--I have no need for these--Thank You very much!!!!!

Sherry cutters on August 23, 2017:

Yes it's true

Leisha on August 15, 2017:

You ask the best questions

Billybon on July 22, 2017:

Loollll like i would answer any of these to my side hoes cause thats all i got...YOLO

Beatrice on July 11, 2017:

i love this it helped me a lot with my relationship.

Matty Navarro from New Jersey on June 08, 2017:

Great for self-reflection, first, then ask the boyfriend/girlfriend and see how compatible you are. We should go deeper on the personal questions. Too often we are afraid, but if you marry that person you want to know what you are getting into.

Ben Bover on June 06, 2017:


Betzy on May 01, 2017:

I think some are good questions to ask friends as well!

Butul on April 29, 2017:


Anonymous Person #432 on April 09, 2017:

I get the cutest answers from him when I ask him some of these. "What's your happiest memory?" "The day I met you."

Isa on April 08, 2017:

I like helps me a lot thank you!

great q and a on April 08, 2017:

i like this question it help my relationship thank u

Lisa on April 04, 2017:

My boyfriend shared this with me. I love it! Very conducive to our personal discoveries of each other....

Angel on March 23, 2017:


Jane Belle on February 12, 2017:

Interesting hub! I would consider asking some of those to my boyfriend :)

bone on January 01, 2017:

Nice list but i need something a bit more complicated and alot more deeper

Leesa on December 26, 2016:


benny boo on October 06, 2016:

Wonderful list, very interesting

trish on September 25, 2016:


Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on July 22, 2016:

Many of these questions are useful for a guy to ask a girlfriend too. In addition to asking a potential mate these questions, they are also great to ponder oneself just to get to know ourselves better.

I actually found it a little difficult to answer some questions in the privacy of my own living room without sharing with anyone else. That just goes to show how much we still can learn about our own feelings about things. I know that wasn't the intention of your hub, but it's an additional powerful outcome from your efforts with compiling this list.

John Hollywood from Hollywood, CA on May 02, 2016:

Interesting and informative question. They certainly made me think a lot. Great hub!

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