6 things you can do when your man is in his Cave...

Updated on May 31, 2013

It's very difficult for women to understand men. We're totally different - physically, mentally and emotionally. There are times when suddenly men withdraw and women start to freak out. Ladies, calm down. Your man needs his time on his own to regenerate his love to you and he needs some time off in his cave.

I once have fear that when my man needs his time, I thought of his every behavior negatively. Then, I educate myself and always stress that my husband needs his time. He needs it in order to give me more love. So, we ended up rewarding him with a "cave" where he can do his manly thing there. For my part, I'm supporting him the best I can. Here are few things that I did:

1. Have Fun!

When he's caving, I have fun with my girls. I go out and shop-hop from one mall to the other. It's utterly useless to be sad about his trip to solitude. Girl, you need time alone too - or maybe with your pals.

You can go shopping, hanging out with the girls, work in the garden, plan a surprise for him, do things that you always wanted to do - just have fun! Man honestly appreciates if you be happy when they hide in their cave. They want you to be happy. Hear me. Yes, happy.

Stop waiting for him to go out shopping with you.

From Drap to Fab
From Drap to Fab

2. Create a Makeover

I love doing a makeover. Be it a haircut, reorganizing my wardrobe or create a new makeup / beauty routine, I am just frickin' lovin' it. Appreciate yourself, sweetheart. Take a bath, apply your nail polish, look at your wardrobe, and plan for your outfit for the whole week.

Watch youtube videos on how to apply makeup. Learn the techniques. Girls, time flies presto when you watch those videos. Have your make up collection and a mirror in front of you when you watch those videos. Oh, don't forget your brushes too!

You may not be young anymore, but that doesn't stop you from being fabulous. No matter how old you are, you deserve to look good and stunning. Dare to challenge yourself and create the new look. It might be a surprise for him to see how dazzling you are after the makeover, after a while, he'll adjust to it. We're working on you. We mean it, YOU.

3. Visit a Friend

Maybe your time to have a girl's night out is over. But, you can still visit one of your single lady friends. Talk about the memories, or chat on celebrities. You know, the girly talk. It's never to late to rekindle back your friendship. Maybe bring kids together and have barbecue.

For an ongoing visits, make a simple project together or help her with things around her house. Join in for a day and it'll be fun. Take some pictures and post it on twitter. Giving a helping hand with let you forget about your problems. I did that a lot of times and my friends appreciate me a lot when I do so. For my part, I feel better.

4. Build your own Sanctuary

If he has his cave, why don't you have your own sanctuary too? Have a space for yourself. Like a craft room. DIY is a big trend right now and pinterest has a lot of things/ideas that you can work with. I'm very into arts and crafts, so I make my own mess in my private sanctuary area.

Decorate your space with candles or colors, and that will be your space when he's in his. When you're planning for your space, know the function and what you are going to do there. This is your private arena and you have the power to design it. Focus on yourself. If you have a limited space, then combine this area into your wardrobe plus craft area. Make sure you don't clutter it into something else.

Be yourself and enjoy it. Yet, uncluttered.

5. Write

Writing means expressing yourself. Be it in whatever form - blogging, hubbing or a "letter". Let's go with blogging. I find that when I have a project going on, my mind is more occupied. Keep yourself busy and always have something to write. Then, you'll think less about your relationship. You man will definitely be grateful because you're focusing on yourself - not him.

The priority here is your happiness. Don't worry about him. If he needs you, he'll come to you. That's how men work. They are not women and you don't need to write about your relationship problem. Keep it private. Unless, it's about cheating, yes, you need to start investigating (aren't all women suddenly become FBI-mode in times like this?)

Maybe you can start writing a book?
Maybe you can start writing a book?

6. Go Out of Town

Babes, we're not talking about disappearing. We're talking about having a weekend getaway without your baby-boo. Women should be independent. Go solo or with besties, go to places that you never been to.

If you can't afford it, plan to visit interesting places within your area. Plan it like it's a grand tour, take tonnes of pictures, make a scrapbook out of that day. Seize your freedom! Take the chance and enjoy the day.

This lady knows how to have fun.
This lady knows how to have fun. | Source

When you're together...

Getting back together after being apart can be tough sometimes. Make it less awkward for him. Be happy that he's back! Never make a sour face because he left you for a while. He is back, re-energized. Put a smile on your face. Don't tell me you don't enjoy your time on your own. You did have fun, right? (Unless you're super needy... ugh!)

If you have the permission to help him with his cave, offer your organizing skill to help him. I found that my husband loves it when his stuff is organized, but he's lazy to do it. He's happy that I helped him. However, do this only if he allows you to do so. Never ever touch his stuff if he likes it that way. That space is his. You wouldn't want him to rummage your make up bag, do you?

Anyway, here are things that you can help him with (if he let you):

Arrange the cords
Arrange the cords
File the manuals
File the manuals
Some organization for the cables
Some organization for the cables
All pictures are taken from
All pictures are taken from | Source
  • Help to clean the clutter.
  • Dust the room, arrange the stuff.
  • Include in an air purifier.
  • If he loves nice smell, put in manly air freshener.


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    • profile image

      pink 3 years ago

      hello lola and thanks for info its very useful

    • lolaestrella profile image

      Dalila C 4 years ago from Denver, CO

      Thank for your comment Kathryn! I agree. It is very healthy to have some time apart. Plus, there will be more things to talk about when we're doing different activities. I'm glad you found something to keep yourself preoccupied. How can we miss someone if we don't spend at least a minute apart? :D

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Years ago, I would be anxious when my man (at the time) was gone, or retreated into his own space. But I have become much less needy in the past several years. I think it is very healthy to have some time apart from my boyfriend, and I always find fun things to do to preoccupy myself. I have fun with him, but there are many other things I like to do that he doesn't necessarily like to.

      I like your opinion on this matter, and you have provided several good options for doing things on your own.