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How to Play It Safe in the Beginning of Your Relationship

Rebecca Arbic is the author of the novel After Dark. She enjoys reading a good book and eating good food.


Ask Yourself This

Chances are those of you reading this have experienced a relationship before and it most likely ended in disaster. I want to you to ask yourself this question. "What were the first two weeks of my relationship with my partner or former partner like?"


The Most Common Mistake

Perhaps one of the most common mistakes in a new relationship is spending too much time together. I myself am guilty of this. You meet that special someone and right away you become inseparable right off the bat. This is such a big mistake to make. If you spend every waking minute with that partner right off the bat then it becomes very dry and dull too soon. You run out of things to discuss over time. You already know everything about each other. You've spent so much time together that now you can't stand to be around each other. This is why right off the start of a new relationship you need to Balance Your Time. It's so vital that you have time away from your partner, especially in the beginning. It keeps the intrigue and it keeps the spark.

Do Not Bring up the Ex

Another big no no in the beginning of the relationship is asking about past girlfriends or boyfriends that your partner has had. Nobody wants to have that awkward exes talk. It eventually does happen but it's important not to do it in the beginning of any relationship because chances are in this day and age you are going to look these people up on social media and become obsessed. You will find yourself repeatedly asking your partner about their exes and comparing yourselves to them. Do not do this, it will lead to heartache. You must leave a partner's past in the PAST.

Don't Smother the Parents

You may have experienced meeting your partner's family in the beginning of the relationship. This is alright as long as you are not in their presence every single day. You're partner could have those types of parents who are conservative or weary of their son or daughter dating and seeing to much of you in the beginning may put them off of you. So remember readers, You may think you're tight with Tom and Mary but chances are they want to poke your eyes out.

Be Happy but Healthy!

In conclusion, if you want to have a successful relationship then it is imperative you follow the three main keys listed above. Enjoy time with your partner, but not too much time. Do not google the exes and do not hound the parents!


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


dashingscorpio from Chicago on December 13, 2016:

Read More From Pairedlife

"You run out of things to discuss over time. You already know everything about each other." That's impossible!

Only if you're young or immature would you be so bored with someone after spending two weeks with them. If this were universally true there would be no lasting marriages or people who cohabitated for longer than two weeks. You could spend a lifetime together and not know everything!

Having said that when we're (young) we have a much shorter attention span, we get bored easily, and in essence we're still trying to figure out who (we) are let alone what we want or need in a mate for life.

Our youth is a time for exploring and learning while experiencing adventures. The mistake a lot of young people make is they unrealistically believe they're going to find their "soul-mate" during their teens or 20s. The reality is when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success.

If this weren't true we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

Rarely does anyone hit a homerun their first, second, or third time up at bat.

Everyone gets their heart broken, experiences disappointment or betrayal along the way as they figure out what traits they want and need in a mate.

Trust me the ones that were important at age 18 won't be the same ones you value at age 28 or 38.

However the biggest mistake young people make along with those with very little dating experience is they don't realize every (new) relationship has an "infatuation phase"!

This is the period of time where you simply can't get enough of each other, laughter comes easily, long conversations about the future, and passionate sex can make any novice dater believe they have found their "soul-mate"!

Both people bend over backwards to impress and please one another. The word "no" is seldom if ever used during this period.

However with age comes wisdom and experience.

You'll learn almost all (new relationships) begin this way! It's only after you've had your first major argument that you start to see each other's "authentic selves", boundaries, and "deal breakers". The first 3-6 months are dreamy.

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