Steps on How to Remain in a Successful Relationship: Be Considerate
Relationships can be hard to control, but knowing the basics of any relationship whether it is with a significant other, friends or family will help you better yourself and the connection you have with someone. Investing in any relationship is always worth your time as you may find an unspoken bond with that person and have an amazing relationship with the individual. You never know what will come out of a good bond when you use just three basic elements in connecting with another person.
Three Basic Elements; Compromise, Communicate, and Be Considerate
Compromise is one of the most important things in a relationship. Remember that you are not always right and you cannot have it your way all the time. Having it your way can put a damper on a relationship in a hurry. Compromise shows that you are willing to put others ahead of yourself. This in turn can illustrate you have feelings for that individual or you understand another’s point of view.
If you compromise in marriage, you are knowingly putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. For instance, my wife wanted to go to the Las Vegas for our anniversary and I wanted to go to a beach resort. We compromised by taking an extended weekend at my brother’s cabin with our dog. We compromised by picking another location that we both could agree upon. This is key, both parties must agree to make the relationship
You may tell yourself you are adamant about something, but without trying it, you will never know the outcome. Something else may be better than what you originally thought.
If I would have told my wife that I only wanted to go to a beach resort and it is final, two things might have happened; she would have been mad at me and a huge argument could have started and I would be spending my anniversary apologizing. This would not have been a good time. Secondly, we wouldn’t have done stuff we would like to do; playing with our dog, spending time in the wilderness and trying new survival techniques. Now, if we would have went to Las Vegas, I wouldn’t of gotten mad, instead I would have been broke resenting the fact we went there.
It was an amazing time in the mountains. We made things out of wood and hot coals from the fire all weekend, took long walks into the woods and just spent time doing what we ultimately love to do. It was probably the finest weekend we ever had in a long time.
Communication is another principle you want to have in a relationship. Without communication you cannot expect to know what another person wants. Tell your wife/husband, friend or significant other what you want. If you don’t say, I will not know. Tell your feelings, anger, or sadness to someone.
If my wife is unhappy for some unknown reason, and I notice it I usually ask “Is everything okay?” or “What’s the matter?” If she would come back to me and say “Nothing” or “I’m okay,” then I will probably drop the subject. Then later on she will say a smart remark and it becomes the start of an argument. Be up front and honest with the individual. Nip the argument before it starts. Communicate, communicate, and communicate. Do not assume or hold your feelings in. Everyone has to vent and let their feelings out and acknowledge them. It is healthy to let it out. I do not like to argue with my wife and I tell her that she just needs to tell me what is going on so that I can be there for her. Make your issues known. Your spouse or significant other will understand more if communicate.
Be Considerate/Care for your better half. It is as easy as saying “I care” or “I love you.” You can even send flowers; write a letter, or extending some money for a meal or small gift. Most people want to know that someone is out there that cares or is considerate for them. They don’t want to be lonely. Sometimes people only have friends, so spend some time with that person. Make it known that you are there for them. This is showing you are concerned or care.
The best thing for me to show I care for a friend is asking them to go to a ballgame, drinks, or even getting together to hang out. If it’s my wife, I show I care by hugging her randomly, texting her randomly saying she is amazing to me, or I send her flowers on an off day. For my family, such as my grandmother or mom, I just call them out of the blue and speak with them about anything that is on their minds. That is a great thing, because you show you care and you are staying in touch.
Three basic principles are all you need. Don’t try to control the relationship, just go with the flow. Be considerate to others, communicate, and compromise. Honestly, if your relationship is meant to be, then these three items will be your comfort. Compromising is fun, since most compromising becomes a decision that is spontaneous. Spontaneity could lead to more excitement. By using these principles you should be on the road to a healthy relationship with a person you care deeply and do not want to lose their friendship, love, or presence.
© 2011 MarleyOz