The Truth About Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships have a bad reputation because of what people who have never been in one have said about it. Not only because of what people say about it, but because there are those who couldn't handle the long distance.
There are those who didn't make the time nor the effort and wanted something right then and there. There are those who didn't want to take the initiative to work hard at the relationship and hold it together. Being in any kind of relationship takes strength, trust, and patience. Long distance relationships will take twice as much effort than a regular relationship does.
Communication Is Key
Long distance relationships are notorious for being the deal breaker. I've heard many people who have never been in a long distance relationship talk about how it's the worse kind of relationship. The relationship lacks in so many aspects so they say. When I hear things like this; it makes me realize why these people are even in relationships, to begin with. No matter what kind of relationship you're in, it all takes patience and communication.
Being in an LDR it takes twice the work. That phone will be in your hand 24 hours, 7 days a week. (not really but it sure does feel like it) You're constantly communicating with your partner. It takes just as much communication as it would be in a home relationship. The more communication the stronger the relationship. You wouldn't want to leave your partner out of the loop if they were in your home state wouldn't you? Just keep them informed. Treat them how you want to be treated at home or in an LDR. It's pretty simple.
Be Prepared to Travel
If anyone has ever told you that you won't ever have a real relationship in an LDR. They are WRONG! I've had 2 LDR's in my lifetime. 1 relationship twice with the same person. The first time around we were really young and we lived across the country from each other. We met in Atlanta, GA and then I moved across the country to Seattle, WA due to some family issues. It was one of the hardest times in our relationship. We made it about 4 months in our LDR before we split ways. Yes, we were young, really young.
We still managed to keep in some form of communication. At 20 we reunited as friends. At 25. we were back in an LDR, but this time we're a 3 and a half hour car ride from each other. This time around we're determined to make this LDR work. Traveling is by far the most important and best way to keep our relationship together. I spend majority of my time traveling, whether it be for personal or for business. I have to do it. Traveling will now be its own budget for you. There will be miles on your car and there will be trips to the airport. If you're determined, you will make anything and everything work.
I've heard quite often about not being able to get to know each other's family members. Getting to know their children, if either party has any children. Getting to know each other's friends. LDR's have an imaginary boundary line that many people think that each person has their own separate lives. I find this completely untrue. If anyone in an LDR is determined enough they make the effort. Not only 1 person in the relationship but both. Both parties have to make the effort to be involved in both their families lives.
Especially if there are children involved. My boyfriend and I have both been informed about each other children and are well aware that since we've met both of them that we plan to keep each other around for the sake of our children. Both my boyfriend and I keep in some form of contact with our siblings. His mother and I have a close and strong relationship. We keep in some form of contact whether it be via Facebook, phone, or text. We keep each other updated when we can. An LDR makes no difference between meeting family and knowing them. It takes determination and strength within the couple to make things happen.
Be Emotionally & Mentally Prepared
LDR's are not for the faint of heart. It will take an emotional toll on you. You will be in your home state without your partner almost every night. When you're going through hard times, you have to manage on your own to get through it. Yes, you will have Skype, phone calls, and text messages. It's still not the same as curling up next to your partner and telling them everything that's been on your mind all day and getting some warm hugs back. Remember that this type of relationship will teach you discipline.
You will learn to manage that you have that phone or laptop on Skype laid up next to you and bed while you cry. Staying mentally strong even though they're hours away from you, they're still the one person you called to run to. They're still the person on the other line you have given your trust to, to hear you out. Sometimes, you have to realize that they want this relationship just as bad as you do and that's why they picked up their phone. Because when you do see them, and you're laying there crying on their shoulder they can make all the sense of how you've felt all in one.
It's All About TRUST
Trust is the absolute key to LDR's. Without trust even in an in-state relationship, you have NOTHING. Trust goes a long way in LDR's. Both my boyfriend and I grew together in this special aspect in our relationship. We both had a real hard time with trust. Not only trust within relationships but trust within other people.
We pushed ourselves to our limits within our LDR, but it was definitely something we have overcome. It took a lot of patience and strength for us to get where we are. We trust each other enough for us to have our own lives but never forget that we still are in a relationship. We still let each other know what's going on. But it's up to both of us to be able to trust each other on doing things ourselves. Trust is everything.
It will Change Your Perspective On Relationships
LDR's will surely change your views on any kind of relationship. It will teach you so much about yourself and how you view your partner. Being an LDR will discretely point out all the flaws and flawless aspects about your previous relationships. It will help you on what you did wrong in your previous relationships to help you get through your current LDR. Not just what you did wrong, but everything you did right that someone else took for granted. It will show you how much you cherish your partner a little more.
You become so determined to make your LDR work, that when you finally feel like it's going smooth sailing, that you can accomplish so much more. You have a partner that has helped you get through this challenge and they motivate you through everything else. That's the kind of relationship every person should have. It's the kind of relationship that everyone should look at it like.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.