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Signs He Intends to Marry You

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

Here are some tell-tale signs that your boyfriend plans on asking you to marry him.

Here are some tell-tale signs that your boyfriend plans on asking you to marry him.

Does He Want to Marry Me?

Does he have marriage on the brain? Does it seem like the puzzle pieces in your life are lining up to this picture? Marriage is a big step, but when you've found your soulmate, saying your vows could be right around the corner.

There is so much to be said about marriage. It is as old as humanity itself. We could look at trends from around the world where families married off their children young, often with the women viewed as property—thankfully, we don't live in the past. Marriage has evolved. It's in a more romantic place now, and divorce rates are falling.

According to an analysis performed by University of Maryland sociology professor Philip Cohen, the U.S. divorce rate dropped by 18 percent from 2008 to 2016. People are taking their time before getting married, and there are a lot of resources out there today that will make it easier than in your parents' time.

Of course, romance plays a big role in getting married in the modern age, and people typically use marriage to stay with someone they love. Usually, people marry for romantic reasons, not just economic ones—though of course, people do consider their pocketbooks before exchanging rings.

So how can you tell if you and your sweetie are headed toward marriage or if things are coasting? Here is a quick list you can read while you hide out in your workplace bathroom or while you're waiting for your next date.

How Long Does It Take a Man to Know That He Wants to Marry You?

There is no easy answer to this question as each man takes a different amount of time to decide if marriage is something he wants. There are a couple of important factors to take into account though including the length of your relationship and how he responds to the idea of commitment.

If you have only been dating for a few months, that is probably too soon for him to decide if marrying you is something he would want. Conversely, if the two of you have been dating for years and he has still not made up his mind, that is a concern.

Talking with him about taking your relationship to the next level is a good way to start, and if you feel comfortable enough, asking him about marriage is a good way to gauge his interest level.

Signs He Wants to Marry You

  • The flow of your relationship. It will feel like all the puzzle pieces are coming together, and perhaps with a great deal more ease than you have ever felt in the past.
  • You have made a point to share the most important people in your life. You're meeting relatives, close friends, and even going on far away trips to meet certain people that are important. If you haven't met the important people in this person's life, then you probably are not close to marriage.
  • There are discussions about the future and your expectations. The future isn't a mystery to you. The both of you see the other person as someone who will be there 5, 10, or 99 years down the road.
  • Things are settled. You've both grown up, you've made progress in your careers, you have independence. You have the resources to get married rather than having it seem like a faraway fairy tale.
  • He's trying to figure out your ring finger size. Maybe he jokes about proposing sometime soon. He may be gauging your reaction to these jokes to see if he should proceed.
  • He talks about how he envisions marriage and includes you in his vision.
  • You flat out ask him, and he tells you what he is thinking and says it like it is. This could be dangerous and backfire though as some men may get spooked when you ask them such a question.
  • You've discussed where the two of you will live, you've discussed moving in together, you've discussed what kind of wedding you want.
  • He treats you with absolute love, respect, care, and as if you are a part of him. Being away from you is torture.
  • He tells you that you're constantly on his brain. He thinks about you when he goes to work, goes to the dry cleaners, goes to bed, and when he walks the dog.
  • The two of you are in sync. You talk to each other every day, your love is strong, and the two of you have an impressive amount of positive shared history.
  • Contact with exes has been dropped to an all-time low. He's not keeping up with his past, and he is more focused on the future.
  • You discuss finances openly.

Signs He Thinks You Are the One

  • He has asked your dad permission to take your hand in marriage, if he's old school like that.
  • You're talking about buying a house together.
  • You're discussing how many kids you want or if you would prefer having no kids.
  • His family is your family. Your family is his family.
  • He starts trying to impress you all over again. He starts wearing nicer clothes; he lays on more compliments, he has that puppy love look in his eyes. Also, he starts taking you on more romantic dates, he makes a point to clean your shared spaces, and he often cracks a smile over the little things you do.
  • He brings up the idea of marriage and does so unsolicited.
  • He is mature. He has got a job, a healthy stream of income, and he makes responsible and clear-headed decisions.
  • He keeps you informed, he keeps you in the loop, and he definitely doesn't leave you in the dark. You know where he is; you two know each other.
  • He doesn't poke fun at you for the little things but supports you. He calls you hot when no one else will.
  • He buys you gifts for no reason at all.
  • He wants you to try new hobbies with him.
  • He talks about having children and starting a family with you.
  • He is committed to you and only you. He doesn't ogle other women or flirt with his female coworkers.

Is He Going to Propose?

  • He has all kinds of ideas of where the two of you will go from traveling all over the world, starting a number of creative projects, and maybe having a house with a little dog with a cute pink bow tie collar. The man has a vision, essentially.
  • He is open with his love. He doesn't try to hide you. Love is like an open book between the two of you.
  • Your arguments are smooth like butter. To the point that you might not even realize it happened.
  • He is excited by the idea of waking up and you being by his side forever.
  • He starts saving money intensely for a few months and is planning some kind of romantic getaway vacation.
  • He makes an excuse to look at engagement rings with you.
  • He takes you to his hometown and shows you the highlights of where he grew up.
  • He does things with you he otherwise wouldn't be doing such as shopping, a tea party, or going to a feminine gathering that makes him uncomfortable.
  • He saves the most random things from you. Maybe he writes down quotes from you. Maybe he has a list of the creative ideas you guys have together for the future.

What's Stopping Him From Proposing?

There are some potential factors that could be stopping your man from proposing to you. Just because he has yet to propose does not mean he is not thinking about it or planning to do it at a later point in time.

Here are some potential roadblocks that are preventing him from proposing.

  • Fiances: If he is the type of person who wants to do a big wedding, he may not have the financial ability to do so and that could make him want to put off popping the question. Men also tend to want to marry when they feel financially secure and if your man is still working on that aspect they may slow down on proposing.
  • Fear of rejection: Even if the two of you have been dating for a while, he may still fear that you will reject his proposal.
  • He's waiting for the right time: If he has some grand proposal idea keep in mind that it will take some time to plan out. He may think that if he does not get the proposal totally right and make it into some grand romantic gesture that you will say no.

Read More From Pairedlife

Signs He Does Not Want to Marry You

Here are some tell-tale signs that he is not interested in marrying you. While it is still possible he could be interested in marriage and still exhibit some of these behaviors, these are some red flags.

  • He makes excuses for why he can't marry you now.
  • He is afraid of commitment.
  • He talks about how he never wants to get married.
  • He changes the subject every time you bring up marriage.

© 2017 Andrea Lawrence


Merry you. on June 18, 2020:

He wants you to meet his parents

She wants yo to meet her parents.

He brings your gifts, She buys her man clothes to reflect well on her.

He talks about a future which includes you and invites you to house and apartment shop.

He/ she takes you to where grew up and introduces you to old friends, relatives, family.

Gives you keys to drive their car, keys to door, keys to whatever held close by other.

anonymous on June 04, 2020:

First time I met my ex, I knew we would be married and have kids. I just had this weird feeling. Still no marriage and no kids. We've been broken up for the past month and I'm heartbroken. I've lost someone who is truly amazing; he might not have been perfect, but he was perfect for me. He broke up with me, and I think of him everyday.

JANE on May 21, 2020:

A man knows if he will marry a woman or a lady from the very first time he meets her. Bc there is this thought of, this is my kind of woman or the kind of girl I have been searching for.


Nat on April 22, 2020:

I’m hoping my boyfriend will propose. This week makes 3 years we’ve been together and lived together. I take good care of him (cooking,cleaning/health wise). He’s 20 years older than me and has never been married. He said he never felt like he was in love and met his soulmate til he met me. He’s not perfect but I love a lot of things about him. I just want to be official and live our life happy as husband and wife. He said he plans to be with me forever. We don’t want kids, but I do want marriage.

Anonymous on March 15, 2020:

I just want to say thank you for this information . I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year and 4 and half months . Been rocky with him during our relationship . At start was so sweet and then now its good .however there is a strong sense of dissaproval from family when were gathered . Its weird but i try not to overthink about it too much . Im hoping to marry my boyfriend soon because im the last in my family and have dreamed of making a fairytale wedding . Its all up to boyfriend now and if its going to be delayed for another 10 years then i guess he wasnt the one i was meant to be with afterall.

Hetty on March 09, 2020:

I have been with my boyfriend getting to 3 month we talk about everything and plan. I aaked him when we are going to marry , he told me it can be two year time

Alberta Afra Gyasi on December 10, 2019:

This is good for me to move my life

Cheyenne on August 31, 2019:

My best friend wants me to be his wife someday.

I’ve known him ever since I was 7 years old. I know there’s a bit of an age gap, but I really don’t mind it. We are five years apart. I’m 20, he’s 25.

I actually don’t mind. I’ve been feeling so plain with the other men I have brought in my life. Long story short, my father doesn’t like his father over some “business issues”. And they haven’t spoke in a few years. My dad would tell me,” Let him go, because I don’t want his father around like that.”

So I’d force myself to see other people just to get over him, but I can’t help it. He’s been there for me so much, we have so much in common, we have the same views, and we are extremely close. I can talk about anything with this man. I feel so bonded and so comfortable with him.

I want to tell my dad that I at least have feelings for him, but he doesn’t know that we even talk. I don’t know how to approach it. I can’t keep it in anymore, I feel like I’m going insane.

Don’t really have anyone I can tell this to. I just needed to get it off my chest somehow.

K on July 14, 2019:

I want the time back you stole from me for reading this.

Kinley Merrell on July 14, 2019:

my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 months so far and he still has not asked me to marry him what do i do ?

Bridget on July 06, 2019:

My boyfriend always speaks romantic word to me but when he ask me to talk all what I can say is I have nothing to say, will he give up on me

Megan Mcgailey on June 09, 2019:

She been asking if a man wants to marry her and she can marry him on bgt britians got talent

dashingscorpio from Chicago on March 08, 2019:

"What's Stopping Him From Proposing?"

There are basically two reasons why men do not propose.

1. Timing (He has other priorities ahead of marriage.)

2. YOU are NOT "the one".

Fear of rejection rarely has anything to do with marriage proposal because no smart man would ever propose to a woman had not already professed her love for him and had discussions regarding cohabitating, marriage, having children, and building a life together.

Truth be told very few marriage proposals are a "shock" for most women. Odds are they have been wondering why it took so long!

Sure the proposal may happen at an unexpected time or location but by the time it does happen it was already a forgone conclusion they were going to get married.

Any guy who has "doubts" about whether or not his girlfriend wants to marry (him) or how she (feels) about him shouldn't propose.

Typically these are the guys who attempt to {force women} to say "yes" by proposing in public places or in front of friends and family. Naturally the woman is "put on the spot". If she says (no) she may come off as a "bitch" with the guy kneeling in front of her professing his love and holding out a ring. It's very manipulative!

Gender Timing Issues

Women as little girls often wore princess dresses, imagined be married to a prince, played with dolls, pushed them in strollers, changed their diapers, baked cookies and brownies in their toy "Easy-Bake Oven" and decorated Ken & Barbie's Playhouse.

Essentially many women have been pretending to be married and having children to care for since they were old enough to walk!

Most men as little boys played with toy guns, remote control cars, boats, planes, engage in games of competition with friends.

By the time many women are in their 20s they're thinking about marriage. Most guys in their 20s just left a dorm room or escaped from their parents' basement. The last thing they want to do is become their parents! They want to establish a career, party with friends, watch sports, play video games, and get laid.

Rarely do men actually "look for" a girlfriend or wife. They tend to fall into relationships by consistently spending more and more time with a woman becoming very comfortable. In some instances the woman gives them an ultimatum or the guy has an epiphany moment or he feels "why not" go ahead and make it official....etc

In the U.S. the average age of a first time groom is 29 and many men don't get married until they are beyond their early 30s.

Therefore young women in their late teens and early 20s are more likely to be disappointed if they hope to be married to a guy their same age at that time. Marriage for men means the party ends!

Odds are he just wants to explore life options and have fun in his 20s. If marriage is a woman's goal she probably should date men in their late 20s and early 30s who have never been married.

Terisa on October 24, 2018:

Well my bf been together for 4.5 years this year will be 5 in December 23 he keep asking me am.i going to marry him n then I said no it's the other way around n then he looks stupid. Lol

Jyoti on September 05, 2018:

I asked him and he said I don't know.

Karen on July 02, 2018:

Today he said my name with his last name.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 07, 2018:

If you can bring it up casually, see what he is thinking about the future and see how much he talks about you.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 07, 2018:

It's different for every couple. Consider how financially stable the two of you are, if you are in a steady part of your career, and just overall how you feel.

Usually when a guy wants to marry you, he starts impressing you more, and trying to plan something without you knowing all the details -- or plans something big. But it's best to just let it happen and not get yourself worked up about it or you'll have too many expectations.

Elna on June 06, 2018:

All of these applied to my relationship except numbers: 6, 8 (never asked) 16, 17, 19 (not family but we’re on really good terms), 21, 22 (I wish), 37, 38, 41 (he’s always accommodating and so am I so he’s not excessively accommodating recently) and 43. I’m honestly confused haha. On one hand I just want to ask him and see what he says but on the other hand I know his money situation could be a little better so I don’t want to pressure him or rush him by asking. Our relationship is so solid and we’ve been together for over 3 years, I’m just not sure what to do except wait haha. Great article though, thanks!

samanthaharding on May 23, 2018:

hi there my boy friend asked me about getting married one day how would you know when its the right time for him to ask me...

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 08, 2017:

I am thankful you enjoyed this hub so much. I'm also delighted by this in depth comment. I think doing pre-marriage counseling is a solid idea.

Robert E Smith from Rochester, New York on November 17, 2017:

I was identifying with so many of the items. It's uncanny. I bet the writing was a smooth constant flow of words until you were done with the article. I could have written it but it would have taken me years, I think. It is amazing the differences between my first marriage of 20 years and my second in which we are starting our 20th year together. In the first marriage I felt the "bride's family" pulling me or pushing me to her side. They all weren't at all worried what kind of a guy I was or if I would treat her well. At the time I noticed it but just chalked it up to acceptance of me and then I dismissed it out of hand. I never wondered about so many of the little things in that list and I think I should have.

In my present marriage, the list you have made was a bit more real for me. I had been married and had good and bad experiences. I knew stumbling blocks to look for and made sure we talked about them. This time I made sure to go to pre-marriage counselling. I thought that this second marriage would be just perfect because of all the pains I and she went through to ensure our future happiness. But to my surprise a whole new list of pitfalls appeared over the years to tell me that no relationship is perfect, no marriage is flawless or always magical. I am happier and much more contented now. My bride seems contented and we do try to talk about everything. This thing called marriage is not for wimps or the faint of heart. It takes determination, relentless attention, self-sacrifice. It never goes quite as planned but that's okay, we are together. I enjoyed this hub immensely. Bob.

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