Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.
Does He Want to Marry Me?
Does he have marriage on the brain? Does it seem like the puzzle pieces in your life are lining up to this picture? Marriage is a big step, but when you've found your soulmate, saying your vows could be right around the corner.
There is so much to be said about marriage. It is as old as humanity itself. We could look at trends from around the world where families married off their children young, often with the women viewed as property—thankfully, we don't live in the past. Marriage has evolved. It's in a more romantic place now, and divorce rates are falling.
According to an analysis performed by University of Maryland sociology professor Philip Cohen, the U.S. divorce rate dropped by 18 percent from 2008 to 2016. People are taking their time before getting married, and there are a lot of resources out there today that will make it easier than in your parents' time.
Of course, romance plays a big role in getting married in the modern age, and people typically use marriage to stay with someone they love. Usually, people marry for romantic reasons, not just economic ones—though of course, people do consider their pocketbooks before exchanging rings.
So how can you tell if you and your sweetie are headed toward marriage or if things are coasting? Here is a quick list you can read while you hide out in your workplace bathroom or while you're waiting for your next date.
How Long Does It Take a Man to Know That He Wants to Marry You?
There is no easy answer to this question as each man takes a different amount of time to decide if marriage is something he wants. There are a couple of important factors to take into account though including the length of your relationship and how he responds to the idea of commitment.
If you have only been dating for a few months, that is probably too soon for him to decide if marrying you is something he would want. Conversely, if the two of you have been dating for years and he has still not made up his mind, that is a concern.
Talking with him about taking your relationship to the next level is a good way to start, and if you feel comfortable enough, asking him about marriage is a good way to gauge his interest level.
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Signs He Wants to Marry You
- The flow of your relationship. It will feel like all the puzzle pieces are coming together, and perhaps with a great deal more ease than you have ever felt in the past.
- You have made a point to share the most important people in your life. You're meeting relatives, close friends, and even going on far away trips to meet certain people that are important. If you haven't met the important people in this person's life, then you probably are not close to marriage.
- There are discussions about the future and your expectations. The future isn't a mystery to you. The both of you see the other person as someone who will be there 5, 10, or 99 years down the road.
- Things are settled. You've both grown up, you've made progress in your careers, you have independence. You have the resources to get married rather than having it seem like a faraway fairy tale.
- He's trying to figure out your ring finger size. Maybe he jokes about proposing sometime soon. He may be gauging your reaction to these jokes to see if he should proceed.
- He talks about how he envisions marriage and includes you in his vision.
- You flat out ask him, and he tells you what he is thinking and says it like it is. This could be dangerous and backfire though as some men may get spooked when you ask them such a question.
- You've discussed where the two of you will live, you've discussed moving in together, you've discussed what kind of wedding you want.
- He treats you with absolute love, respect, care, and as if you are a part of him. Being away from you is torture.
- He tells you that you're constantly on his brain. He thinks about you when he goes to work, goes to the dry cleaners, goes to bed, and when he walks the dog.
- The two of you are in sync. You talk to each other every day, your love is strong, and the two of you have an impressive amount of positive shared history.
- Contact with exes has been dropped to an all-time low. He's not keeping up with his past, and he is more focused on the future.
- You discuss finances openly.
Signs He Thinks You Are the One
- He has asked your dad permission to take your hand in marriage, if he's old school like that.
- You're talking about buying a house together.
- You're discussing how many kids you want or if you would prefer having no kids.
- His family is your family. Your family is his family.
- He starts trying to impress you all over again. He starts wearing nicer clothes; he lays on more compliments, he has that puppy love look in his eyes. Also, he starts taking you on more romantic dates, he makes a point to clean your shared spaces, and he often cracks a smile over the little things you do.
- He brings up the idea of marriage and does so unsolicited.
- He is mature. He has got a job, a healthy stream of income, and he makes responsible and clear-headed decisions.
- He keeps you informed, he keeps you in the loop, and he definitely doesn't leave you in the dark. You know where he is; you two know each other.
- He doesn't poke fun at you for the little things but supports you. He calls you hot when no one else will.
- He buys you gifts for no reason at all.
- He wants you to try new hobbies with him.
- He talks about having children and starting a family with you.
- He is committed to you and only you. He doesn't ogle other women or flirt with his female coworkers.
Is He Going to Propose?
- He has all kinds of ideas of where the two of you will go from traveling all over the world, starting a number of creative projects, and maybe having a house with a little dog with a cute pink bow tie collar. The man has a vision, essentially.
- He is open with his love. He doesn't try to hide you. Love is like an open book between the two of you.
- Your arguments are smooth like butter. To the point that you might not even realize it happened.
- He is excited by the idea of waking up and you being by his side forever.
- He starts saving money intensely for a few months and is planning some kind of romantic getaway vacation.
- He makes an excuse to look at engagement rings with you.
- He takes you to his hometown and shows you the highlights of where he grew up.
- He does things with you he otherwise wouldn't be doing such as shopping, a tea party, or going to a feminine gathering that makes him uncomfortable.
- He saves the most random things from you. Maybe he writes down quotes from you. Maybe he has a list of the creative ideas you guys have together for the future.
What's Stopping Him From Proposing?
There are some potential factors that could be stopping your man from proposing to you. Just because he has yet to propose does not mean he is not thinking about it or planning to do it at a later point in time.
Here are some potential roadblocks that are preventing him from proposing.
- Fiances: If he is the type of person who wants to do a big wedding, he may not have the financial ability to do so and that could make him want to put off popping the question. Men also tend to want to marry when they feel financially secure and if your man is still working on that aspect they may slow down on proposing.
- Fear of rejection: Even if the two of you have been dating for a while, he may still fear that you will reject his proposal.
- He's waiting for the right time: If he has some grand proposal idea keep in mind that it will take some time to plan out. He may think that if he does not get the proposal totally right and make it into some grand romantic gesture that you will say no.
Signs He Does Not Want to Marry You
Here are some tell-tale signs that he is not interested in marrying you. While it is still possible he could be interested in marriage and still exhibit some of these behaviors, these are some red flags.
- He makes excuses for why he can't marry you now.
- He is afraid of commitment.
- He talks about how he never wants to get married.
- He changes the subject every time you bring up marriage.
© 2017 Andrea Lawrence