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Rules of Engagement for Relationships

Jon is an author, entrepreneur, and hacker who has spent the last 35 years living life and analyzing things.

13 rules for good relationships

13 rules for good relationships

These rules may benefit those who want to have a better shot in succeeding in relationships. There is no guarantee that these rules will ensure a stable relationship, but they should give insight as to how to make relationships last longer and also avoid any trouble significant others.

1. Don't go out with any girl that lives in your neighborhood, school, or work.

In the beginning, the relationship is excellent due to convenience; you both have the same friends and have much in common. Relationships at work, school, or in your neighborhood have many positive opportunities to make this relationship last unless it does not last; this is where the problem begins.

Depending on how involved you were with that significant other, having to see the person after a breakup can be heartbreaking, and if the breakup was a bad one, then you have your entire privacy exposed and possible humiliation among your friends, family, and colleagues.

Typically, friends and colleagues who are both familiar with you and your ex typically do not want to take sides, but most do. As a result, you will learn who your true friends are.

2. Don't go out with any ex-girl's friends, relatives, or neighbors right after a breakup (or preferably ever)!

There is an old saying—do not shit where you eat. Going out with a friend, family member, or neighbor of an ex-girlfriend can become problematic. The cause of the problem is due to hidden intentions. Were you attracted to this person prior to the breakup? Did you have any relations with this person prior to the breakup?

Those are the basic questions that will be asked by your ex and her inner circle. Exes typically want a break from seeing you all together. Therefore, courting someone close to her complicates matters, especially if the breakup is relatively new.

Are you intending to get back at her by going out with her friend or family? Are you using this friend or family to keep tabs on her or even try to get back with her? It is an unhealthy approach, nevertheless. The best action, if you are interested in courting one of her friends, family members, or neighbors, is to give the breakup time. Give the ex-girlfriend time to heal from whatever wounds came from the breakup. Also, give yourself time to heal.

Going out with a friend or family member typically ends badly, as the ex, if bitter, will reveal all negative qualities that you exhibited during your time with her. Do you really want that laundry aired out?

3. Never, ever go back into an old relationship.

If the relationship ended ages ago, then why go back into something that has history? There was a reason why you two broke up. Before considering going back to an old relationship, ask yourself whether you are:

  • able to overcome the reasons why you two broke up.
  • able to leave the old relationship in the past.

Also, do not rush into back the old relationship, especially if you two just broke up. Take some time to yourself, see other people, and see how you feel afterward. Give it at least six months before you can truly realize that this is what you want.

In addition, make sure you create a new foundation for the rekindled relationship. Do not base it on the old foundation because something in the old foundation caused the breakup, and you will end up in the same situation . . .

Now, it is a definite no if your partner has done the following:

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  • Cheated
  • Abused you
  • Has a psychological problem (such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or addiction problems)

Unless you are no longer bitter and the person has made major strides to change, then there is no reason to rewind to inevitable sorrow.

4. If you're dating multiple women, give them a universal nickname.

If you're not in a serious relationship and seeing multiple women, then just call them all either "honey," "baby," "sweetie," "buttercup," or whatever universal nickname you want to use. It's a bad mistake if you are seeing several girls and call one girl another girl's name. It starts a lot of arguments and headaches.

5. It's always good to be honest, especially if the truth hurts.

"How do I look in this dress or outfit?" Your response: "You look fine, hon." Even though it is not the truth, the smallest detail can make you or destroy you.

Women want honesty in the relationship; give them full honesty. If their outfit sucks, then tell them it sucks. Therefore, that way, you are honest with them. In addition, she can figure out your tastes a bit better—regardless of whether is going to start a little argument.

Honesty in a relationship does not jump out of the window when it comes down to your opinions. Just say, "Hon, I love you, but that outfit does not fit to my liking." She will eventually thank you for it. Girls who cannot handle negative feedback from their men are just denying themselves the truth and opening themselves to an assortment of future problems.

6. Don't make promises you can't keep.

Girls always complain about men who just promise the world. If you want to be good at your game, be original. Do not promise the world. Promise what you can really offer. Honesty is Important. Girls appreciate honesty, and she will not be as apprehensive if you were just bullshitting her.

7. Remember that communication is critical.

Strong communication between couples means the relationship is strong. Meaning, always keep in contact with the person you are with, regardless of whether you are a million miles away.

8. Breaks are important.

You cannot just be with each other all the time. Go hang out with your friends, and let her hang out with all of her friends. That way, you are spending time apart, and the relationship is balanced.

9. Compromise is important.

Do not let the woman make all the sacrifices in the relationship. You have to make some sacrifices yourself, so find common ground and compromise. Give a little; take a little. As long as you do not compromise your principles, then you will be fine. If the woman cannot accept your principles, then you should not be with her.

10. No trust means no love.

Do not get into a relationship where you do not trust your partner to be with a friend of the opposite sex. Jealousy does not go anywhere. If you say you love the person, then why do you love that person? You cannot love someone who you cannot trust. The philosophy should be, "I'll trust you until you give me a reason not to. Once you violate that trust, then it is over. Even if it is a mistake."

Now, if it were a situation where she or he admits to the fault before you find out, then there may be a chance—only if you are willing to give it that chance.

11. Sex can't be the foundation of your relationship.

Sex is great in any relationship. However, it cannot be the foundation of any relationship. Sex is an added bonus that is vital to keep the relationship healthy, but it is not healthy to make it the foundation. As a result, the passion dies out quickly.

12. If she says "I love you" too soon, you should be concerned.

Love is a powerful word, and it is mostly misused. It is a dangerous weapon—more dangerous than bullets. If someone that you are with starts saying "I love you" within the first couple of weeks of being together, then kill the relationship off; she may be crazy or even money grubby.

13. Ultimately, you want to see a return on your investment in a relationship.

All partners in a relationship have an asset and liability. You have to determine if your partner's liability conflicts with your ultimate goals in life, whether it conflicts with your current lifestyle. Alternatively, you need to determine whether that person is a threat in any way, due to their insecurity, instability, drug use, etc. Relationships are like business investments—you want to see a return on your investment and eventually see it grow.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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