Priyanka loves writing about relationships because they fascinate her! Analyzing the psychology behind love and other drugs is thrilling!
How can you become emotionally ready for a relationship that is soon to become long distance? Have you talked about it? Have you planned it out with your SO? Or will you just leave everything to fate?
Here are some ways to emotionally prepare yourself for a long-distance relationship. Keep on reading to learn how to overcome this obstacle.
Accept That This Is Happening, and That There's Nothing You Can Do About It
This is the most important step of all. The sooner you accept that you are going to be in an LDR, the easier it will be. It is going to hurt, but coming to terms with it will help ease the pain of denial bit by bit, day by day. The more buffer days you give yourself, the more time you'll have to find some fulfillment and secure your happiness.
Communication Goes a Long Way
Talking helps everyone—men and women. If you open up about your feelings regarding this new relationship arrangement, albeit how temporary it may be, it will put a lot of your fears and insecurities to rest. Being frank lets your partner know exactly what you're going through and helps him/her understand how you feel—this will help you future conflicts and bring you both closer together.
Make a Plan
Decide what you are going to do to keep the relationship alive once you're apart.
- Check out the time difference, if any.
- Make a note of their college/work timings.
- Decide what time you'll usually talk—in the early morning, in the evening, at the middle of the night, or whatever other time it may be.
- Make accounts on all the apps you'll use to chat/text/video call.
- Determine how you'll celebrate special occasions and anniversaries.
- Try to plan when you can fly to see them for a holiday. Check the average cost of flights and the best times to visit.
- Figure out when your SO will come for a visit. Make sure to ask for vacation time in advance and don't make any other plans during that time.
- Decide how you'll keep the fire burning despite being away from each other—phone sex is way underrated!
Make all these plans ahead of time, and don't forget to add to the list when something else pops into your head. The better prepared you are, the easier time you'll have in this phase.
Start Becoming Independent
Say what you might, everyone tends to become slightly more involved in a relationship and ignore their life outside of it. But when the relationship becomes a long distance, it's as if you're single—but still taken. You have to get out there all by yourself again, just like you did when you were single.
Start new hobbies way in advance of your trip. That way you'll still have your partner around, making the transition less scary. It also gives you time to dabble in different things until you find what you love to do.
Have Faith and Let Go
Accept that your partner is going to make new friends there. These may be friends of the opposite gender, and they are all going to hang out, go out, and even put up a few photos. Don't let your jealousy get the better of you. Don't accuse your partner of ignoring you—or worse, cheating. They love you, period.
Distance creates barriers and voids that are hard to fill in each individual moment. Sharing your partner's attention and company with strangers isn't going to be easy, but it's inevitable. As long as you keep the communication going strong, there's nothing to worry about.
Spend Time With Family and Friends
Your friends and family are the ones who will help you get through these tough times. They are the ones who love you tremendously and just want to see you happy—in most cases, at least. Talk to your most trusted loved ones who you know will stand by you through your mood swings, tears, and sleepless nights. Don't hesitate to share what you're feeling with them. You'll be amazed at the support that they'll have to offer.
Distance gives us a reason to love harder.
Set Some Rules
For the sake of peace and harmony, you can set some rules in advance to keep any discomfort and doubt outside the relationship. For instance, are you allowed to flirt? If yes, then how much? Are you comfortable with him drinking or partying every weekend? Are you okay with her meeting a guy friend over dinner? If you are serious, how many times would you like him/her to visit your parents in your absence and keep them company?
This is, of course, not an opportunity for you to start doubting your partner or throw your insecurities at them. This is so that you can have a set of agreed-upon norms and behaviors when it comes to certain things. It isn't just about socializing and partying—it can be about virtually anything you'd prefer to have a rule for.
Keep Being Romantic
Thoughtful gestures are more appreciated when you are living apart. Make something for each other and send it across. Send gifts, handwritten letters, impromptu emails, or just a random message telling them how much you love and miss them.
Imagine coming home to a package of your favorite chocolates, or perfume, or anything else with a cute little note from your SO. Wouldn't that make your day? Sure, communication is easier now with our phones, but that just means that going old school will really hit it out of the park!
A long distance relationship doesn't need to be unhappy, difficult, and fraught with angst. It can be positive, fun, and self-fulfilling too. If you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally, you'll be on your way to a much stronger relationship. Can I say #relationshipgoals?
Danny on August 08, 2020:
Yes you can say #relationshipgoals!
B on July 31, 2017:
Hey, yes I do agree with you. That's why this is just one part of the article. More on this is coming soon, about what you just said! :)
dashingscorpio from Chicago on July 31, 2017:
I also think it's important to be both realistic and practical.
One also has to define what does making a LDR "work' really mean. Is it 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, or eventual marriage?
I can't tell you for example how many college freshman arrive on college campuses vowing to maintain long distance relationships with their high school sweethearts for the next 4-6 years while they get their degree from different universities.
Eventually one or both of them start to get involve socially with campus activities, make new friends, possibly pledge a sorority or fraternity, attend sporting events, parties, and eventually meet someone "special". A LDR for 4-6 years is a challenge for any adult but for young 18-19 year olds it's simply unrealistic.
Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary!
The goal is to (be with) the one you love.
Unless there is a viable "light at the end of a tunnel" where someone will be relocating it's very likely the couple will eventually drift apart. Nothing you do replaces being together.
It's the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LRD that keeps it strong! (Establishing a light at the end of tunnel is paramount.)
The only real purpose for entering into a long distance relationship is because you believe he/she is "the one". If you're just "dating someone" you might as well do that locally.
One man's opinion! :)