Preparing Yourself for a Long Distance Relationship
How can you emotionally ready yourself for a long-distance relationship that is soon to take place? Do you talk about it? Do you make a plan with your SO? Or do you just leave it to fate?
Here are some ways to prepare yourself emotionally for a long-distance relationship. If you want to conquer it, read this article for some much-needed arsenal.
Distance Gives Us A Reason To Love Harder.— Anonymous
Accept That It Is Happening, And There's Nothing You Can Do About It
This is the most important step of all, without which the rest of this article is futile. The sooner you accept that you are going to be in an LDR, the easier it will be. It is going to hurt...it is. Coming to terms with it will help ease the denial-pain bit by bit, day by day. If you give yourself some buffer days, there's a lot that you can achieve in terms of fulfillment and some secure happiness.
Communication Goes A Long Way
Talking always helps everyone (no matter what guys say). If you open up about your feelings regarding this new, future relationship arrangement, albeit how temporary it may be, it will put a lot of your fears and insecurities to rest. Being frank lets your partner know exactly what you're going through, which will help him/her understand your stand on the issue, in turn avoiding future conflicts. It will also bring you both closer together.
Make A Plan
Decide what you are going to do for keeping the relationship alive once you are living apart.
- Check out the time difference, if any.
- Make a note of their college/work timings.
- Decide when you will talk - morning, evening, by waking up early, sleeping late, waking up in the middle of the night.
- Make accounts on all the messengers where you can chat/text/video call.
- How will you celebrate occasions and festivals? Skype, Facebook messenger?
- When can you fly down for a holiday? Check the average cost of flights and the best time to visit.
- When will your SO be coming down to visit? Apply for leaves in advance if you're working, and don't make any plans for that time.
- Decide how you'll keep the fire burning despite being away from each other (phone sex is way underrated!).
Make all these plans as and when something pops into your head. The better prepared you are, the easier you can breeze through this phase.
Start Becoming Independent
Say what you may, everyone tends to become slightly more involved in a relationship and ignore their life outside of it. But when the relationship becomes a long distance one, it's as if you're taken but single. You have to get out there all by yourself again, like you did when you were single.
So my advice is to start creating new hobbies and getting involved in them way in advance. That way, you still have your partner around, making the transition less scary. It also gives you time to dibble-dabble in different things till you find stuff you love to do.
Have Faith, And Let Go
Accept that your partner is going to make new friends there. Friends of the opposite gender too, and they are all going to hang out, go out, and even put up a few photos. Don't let your jealousy get the better of you. Don't accuse your partner of ignoring you, or worse, cheating. They love you, period.
Distance creates barriers and voids that are hard to fill in that very moment. Sharing your partner's attention and company with other people, strangers, isn't going to be easy. But it's inevitable. As long as you keep the communication going strong, there's nothing to worry about.
Mingle With Family and Friends
Your friends and family are the ones who will help you get through these tough times. They are the ones who love you tremendously, and just want to see you happy (in most cases, at least). Talk to your most trusted loved ones whom you know will stand by you through your mood swings, tears, and sleepless nights. Don't hesitate to share with them what you are feeling. You'll be amazed at the support that they have to offer.
Set Some Rules
For the sake of peace and harmony, you can set some rules in advance to keep any discomfort and doubt outside the relationship. For instance, are you allowed to flirt? If yes, then how much? Are you comfortable with him drinking or partying every weekend? Are you okay with her meeting a guy friend over dinner? If you are serious, how many times would you like him/her to visit your parents in your absence and keep them company?
This is, of course, not an opportunity for either to start doubting your partner or throwing your insecurities at them. This is so that you can have a set of decided norms and behaviors when it comes to certain things. And it isn't just pertaining to socializing and partying. It can be virtually anything you'd prefer to have a rule for.
Keep Being Romantic
Thoughtful gestures are more appreciated when you are living apart. Make something for each other and send it across. Send gifts, handwritten letters, impromptu emails, or just a random message telling them how much you love and miss them.
Imagine coming home to a package of your favorite chocolates, or perfume, or anything else with a cute little note from your SO. Wouldn't that make your day? Sure, communication is easier now with our phones. That's when old school really hits it out of the park!
Think of it as an Adventure. Why not? How many times will you be staying apart anyway?
A long distance relationship doesn't need to be unhappy, difficult, and fraught with #majormissing scenes. It can be positive, fun, and #selffulfilling too. Prepare yourself emotionally and mentally, and be on your way to much stronger #relationshipgoals.