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Preparing Yourself for a Long Distance Relationship

Updated on August 3, 2017

How can you emotionally ready yourself for a long-distance relationship that is soon to take place? Do you talk about it? Do you make a plan with your SO? Or do you just leave it to fate?

Here are some ways to prepare yourself emotionally for a long-distance relationship. If you want to conquer it, read this article for some much-needed arsenal.

Distance Gives Us A Reason To Love Harder.

— Anonymous
Acceptance is Happiness (or almost).
Acceptance is Happiness (or almost). | Source

Accept That It Is Happening, And There's Nothing You Can Do About It

This is the most important step of all, without which the rest of this article is futile. The sooner you accept that you are going to be in an LDR, the easier it will be. It is going to hurt...it is. Coming to terms with it will help ease the denial-pain bit by bit, day by day. If you give yourself some buffer days, there's a lot that you can achieve in terms of fulfillment and some secure happiness.

Communication Makes Us Stronger.
Communication Makes Us Stronger. | Source

Communication Goes A Long Way

Talking always helps everyone (no matter what guys say). If you open up about your feelings regarding this new, future relationship arrangement, albeit how temporary it may be, it will put a lot of your fears and insecurities to rest. Being frank lets your partner know exactly what you're going through, which will help him/her understand your stand on the issue, in turn avoiding future conflicts. It will also bring you both closer together.

Make A Plan

Decide what you are going to do for keeping the relationship alive once you are living apart.

  • Check out the time difference, if any.
  • Make a note of their college/work timings.
  • Decide when you will talk - morning, evening, by waking up early, sleeping late, waking up in the middle of the night.
  • Make accounts on all the messengers where you can chat/text/video call.
  • How will you celebrate occasions and festivals? Skype, Facebook messenger?
  • When can you fly down for a holiday? Check the average cost of flights and the best time to visit.
  • When will your SO be coming down to visit? Apply for leaves in advance if you're working, and don't make any plans for that time.
  • Decide how you'll keep the fire burning despite being away from each other (phone sex is way underrated!).

Make all these plans as and when something pops into your head. The better prepared you are, the easier you can breeze through this phase.

Think Of It As An Adventure Instead.
Think Of It As An Adventure Instead. | Source

Start Becoming Independent

Say what you may, everyone tends to become slightly more involved in a relationship and ignore their life outside of it. But when the relationship becomes a long distance one, it's as if you're taken but single. You have to get out there all by yourself again, like you did when you were single.

So my advice is to start creating new hobbies and getting involved in them way in advance. That way, you still have your partner around, making the transition less scary. It also gives you time to dibble-dabble in different things till you find stuff you love to do.

Sometimes, You Just Gotta Let Go.
Sometimes, You Just Gotta Let Go. | Source

Have Faith, And Let Go

Accept that your partner is going to make new friends there. Friends of the opposite gender too, and they are all going to hang out, go out, and even put up a few photos. Don't let your jealousy get the better of you. Don't accuse your partner of ignoring you, or worse, cheating. They love you, period.

Distance creates barriers and voids that are hard to fill in that very moment. Sharing your partner's attention and company with other people, strangers, isn't going to be easy. But it's inevitable. As long as you keep the communication going strong, there's nothing to worry about.

Family and Friends Are ALWAYS There In Our Time of Need.
Family and Friends Are ALWAYS There In Our Time of Need. | Source

Mingle With Family and Friends

Your friends and family are the ones who will help you get through these tough times. They are the ones who love you tremendously, and just want to see you happy (in most cases, at least). Talk to your most trusted loved ones whom you know will stand by you through your mood swings, tears, and sleepless nights. Don't hesitate to share with them what you are feeling. You'll be amazed at the support that they have to offer.

Let Love Rule, but Set Some Rules for That Too!
Let Love Rule, but Set Some Rules for That Too! | Source

Set Some Rules

For the sake of peace and harmony, you can set some rules in advance to keep any discomfort and doubt outside the relationship. For instance, are you allowed to flirt? If yes, then how much? Are you comfortable with him drinking or partying every weekend? Are you okay with her meeting a guy friend over dinner? If you are serious, how many times would you like him/her to visit your parents in your absence and keep them company?

This is, of course, not an opportunity for either to start doubting your partner or throwing your insecurities at them. This is so that you can have a set of decided norms and behaviors when it comes to certain things. And it isn't just pertaining to socializing and partying. It can be virtually anything you'd prefer to have a rule for.

Oh Yes, It Is SO Nice!
Oh Yes, It Is SO Nice! | Source

Keep Being Romantic

Thoughtful gestures are more appreciated when you are living apart. Make something for each other and send it across. Send gifts, handwritten letters, impromptu emails, or just a random message telling them how much you love and miss them.

Imagine coming home to a package of your favorite chocolates, or perfume, or anything else with a cute little note from your SO. Wouldn't that make your day? Sure, communication is easier now with our phones. That's when old school really hits it out of the park!

Think of it as an Adventure. Why not? How many times will you be staying apart anyway?

A long distance relationship doesn't need to be unhappy, difficult, and fraught with #majormissing scenes. It can be positive, fun, and #selffulfilling too. Prepare yourself emotionally and mentally, and be on your way to much stronger #relationshipgoals.

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    • profile image

      2 months ago

      Hey, yes I do agree with you. That's why this is just one part of the article. More on this is coming soon, about what you just said! :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 months ago

      I also think it's important to be both realistic and practical.

      One also has to define what does making a LDR "work' really mean. Is it 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, or eventual marriage?

      I can't tell you for example how many college freshman arrive on college campuses vowing to maintain long distance relationships with their high school sweethearts for the next 4-6 years while they get their degree from different universities.

      Eventually one or both of them start to get involve socially with campus activities, make new friends, possibly pledge a sorority or fraternity, attend sporting events, parties, and eventually meet someone "special". A LDR for 4-6 years is a challenge for any adult but for young 18-19 year olds it's simply unrealistic.

      Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary!

      The goal is to (be with) the one you love.

      Unless there is a viable "light at the end of a tunnel" where someone will be relocating it's very likely the couple will eventually drift apart. Nothing you do replaces being together.

      It's the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LRD that keeps it strong! (Establishing a light at the end of tunnel is paramount.)

      The only real purpose for entering into a long distance relationship is because you believe he/she is "the one". If you're just "dating someone" you might as well do that locally.

      One man's opinion! :)