Pleasing a Woman: 40 Little Things to Make Her Happy
40 Simple, Easy, Little Things You Can Do to Make Her Happy
Men: It really isn't difficult or expensive to please a woman. Here are 40 little things you can do for her to make her happy (and show her you're the greatest)!
This article is based on two very basic but enduring principles:
1. There is more happiness in giving than in receiving, and
2. It's the little things that mean the most.
After time passes in a relationship, couples tend to grow apart. Don't let it stay that way! You can always work on making your relationship come alive again. There are things that both of you can do to reconnect, rediscover, and become one again.
I am writing this for the man in the relationship, although she's not the only one that will benefit. It is most likely that once you take the first step to showing her how much she means to you, she will automatically and happily reciprocate. People forget that a good relationship doesn't just happen on its own—it takes work! (Yes, I said that four-letter word: WORK!) But she is worth it! If you truly love her and know that you have a wonderful woman by your side, you will do anything to keep her. Believe me, you may search forever and not find another woman like her. Trust me, if you do some or even all of the things on this list, she will fall in love with you all over again!
The 40 little things I am going to share with you are not difficult or expensive or perverted. These things are thoughtful, romantic, kind, funny, and (yes, guys), sensitive!
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.— Joseph F. Newton
"Why do I always have to be the one to make the first move?"
Has it been a while since you two have connected? Are you wrapped up in the cares of this world (job, hobbies, television, and other things) that take your time away from each other? Maybe you spend time together as a family with your children, but not focused specifically on each other. Fall in love again, be excited about seeing each other at the end of the day and yes, make love that is tender and sweet and gentle, not perfunctory. Life is too short to waste it being unhappy.
I know you men are probably saying "Why do I always have to be the one to make the first move?" or "What if I try all of these things and she doesn't respond? I've just made a fool of myself!" Excuse me for saying this, but it is exactly this type of thinking that may have caused you to grow apart in the first place.
Men, please, swallow your pride and try these things. What have you got to lose? Instead of holding on to all that pride, hold on to her! You are obviously reading this because you are looking for help in your relationship. That was not an easy step to take, but at least you took it. I commend you for wanting to work on your relationship and make her love you even more than you ever thought possible.
#1 Leave Little Notes in Unexpected Places!
You want her to know that you are thinking of her throughout the day. You will be her hero if you do this! Women love little surprises, and after she finds a love note from you tucked into her coat pocket (or on the dashboard or in her lunch bag), she will be bragging to all of her girlfriends about what a wonderful man she has.
I can't tell you where to put them, you will have to get creative. I have left notes for my man in the plastic bag that I put his sandwich in, under the shaving cream, inside a folded pair of underwear, in his coat pocket, Bible, briefcase, suit pocket, and over the visor in his car, just to name a few.
#2 When She Looks or Smells Great, Tell Her!
Don't assume she knows she looks or smells good. Everyone wants and needs to hear when others notice them. She will always want to look and smell nice for you if you let her know how much you appreciate the effort. She married you because she wanted to make you happy—let her know she's succeeding!
When I was much younger, I was a bit self-centered and didn't have many friends. I took a self-assessment to learn what I could do to change and discovered that people are much more pleasant to be around if they take the focus off themselves and notice the good in others instead. So give her a compliment!
You cannot believe how hard this was for me in the beginning. It felt awkward and insincere, but I kept using this technique, and it worked. I began noticing the good in others, and by telling them what I noticed, it made me feel better about myself. I was no longer self-centered, had lots of friends, and began receiving compliments myself!
Funny how that works: Give, and you get back a hundredfold!
#3 Put Some Music in Your Life
Music always lightens the mood. When she gets home from work, after dinner, or just before you two drift off to sleep, put on some music you know she likes.
I know after I have had a stressful day at work, music will not only calm me down, but will put me in a much better mood so that I am more receptive to my husband's advances. Then, at bedtime, I feel soothed and relaxed and yes, even romantic. Play music for her and she will respond and thank you for putting her in better spirits.
She will be even more impressed if you play one of her favorites and dance with her. She'll be amazed that you remembered the song she loves and since she'll already be in your arms, she'll probably kiss you!
#4 Thank Her for the Little Things She Does
If she does something sweet or thoughtful for you, thank her! But also realize that not only is she sweet, but she may be sending you a signal that she would like the same thing done for her, from the heart.
I ask myself, "If someone did this for me, would it make me feel loved?" Because whatever makes me happy will probably also please someone else.
#5 Mail Her a Card
Do you want to tell her how much you love her, but you're not so good with words? You are not alone, and that's why the greeting card business is so huge.
So pick out a greeting card that will say it for you. She'll be so surprised and touched by your thoughtfulness!! And she'll love it that you actually mailed it to her, especially if she's the one to open the mailbox.
Not in the romantic mood? Women also love it when a man can make them laugh! Pick out a funny card to send to her. Has she had a stressful week at work? Send her the card as a pick-me-up. This lets her know you notice and care.
#6 Share Fond Memories
When is the last time you shared a great memory from your wedding or a sentimental moment from one of your first dates together?
Remind her of those memories that have stayed with you and tell her why they stuck in your heart and mind. Sit down together and go through some old photos of those good times, possibly even bringing out the wedding album or pictures from the honeymoon.
Reminding her of why you fell in love with her in the first place is an important step towards renewing those feelings and making sparks fly again!
#7 Make Her Breakfast In Bed
I know this sounds corny or cliché but if you feed her, she will think you are the greatest! Women love to be waited on, but rarely get it. Think about all the hundreds of meals she's made for you. It doesn't matter what you make for her, she will be thrilled that you did it!!
#8 The Hair-Kiss-Hug Move!
Want her attention? Come up behind her (but don't scare her), without saying a word, move her hair away from the back of her neck and kiss her there, put your arms around her, hug her and hold her tight. Don't be in a hurry to let her go. Enjoy the moment.
She'll drop whatever she's doing and give you her full attention, maybe more! Of course, if you haven't done this in 20 years, she may be suspicious and wonder what you want, so try not to wait so long to do it.
#9 Pick a Chore She Hates and Do It For Her
Without being asked, do something for her that you know she hates doing. For example, if you know she hates doing the grocery shopping, get the list and do it for her. If there's no list, tell her you want to know what she needs so you can go the store this time.
Most women do most of the housecleaning, and your woman probably does too! Don't let her do all the work. Take it upon yourself to do some of the cleaning (for once) to show her you're trying to make things easier for her.
Women feel like you don't notice when the house is sparkling clean. They think you only notice when it's messy or unkempt. Each week, help her do the housecleaning. It won't kill you and the cleaning will get done much quicker when you share the load. This lets her know you appreciate a clean house and how much work it takes to keep it clean and shows you're on her team.
#10 Fix It (Finally)!
Is there something around the house that she has asked you to fix so many times she's stopped asking because she figures it will never get done?
Most women don't like to nag. She'll ask you a few times to fix that door that won't shut, or put up the towel bar that came off the wall, or put up that shelf in the laundry room, but when something is not getting done, she may simply give up on you. And maybe that's what most men are waiting for, so they won't have to do the chore.
The last time you asked her to make your favorite meal, she made it, didn't she? Well, then, do this for her. Fix whatever it is she has asked you to fix. This will make her want to do more for you!
#11 Send Her Text Messages
Don't know how to text? For her, learn, then text her during the day, out of the blue. Say something like, "I meant to tell you how pretty you looked this morning when you left for work," or "you are all I can think about today, I miss you!" or simply say, "Have a good day, sweetheart!"
Many men don't want to text. They wonder, "Why would I waste time texting when I can just call her on the phone?"
Well, one of the nice things about texting is that no one can hear what you're saying! A couple can have a private conversation without being overheard by coworkers. Also, men, we women cannot always answer our phones while we are at work, but when we have stopped for a quick break and see that you have texted us, it brightens up our day! You don't have to carry on a long conversation with texting, it's just for quick messaging. So send her a few quick messages throughout the day to let her know that you are thinking of her. When she gets home that evening she will not only be happy to see you, she will thank you for letting her know you were thinking of her.
#12 Offer Some Stress Relief
Did she come home in a bad mood? Tell her not to worry about dinner, you'll order in. Then tell her to meet you in the bathroom because you're going to run a nice hot relaxing bath for her. Don't forget to light candles!
She'll be so pleased, she may even invite you to join her . . . before the water gets cold!
#13 Have a One Night Stand!
Is your anniversary coming up? Surprise her by booking a one-night stay in a nice (not-too-expensive) hotel. Buy her some lingerie to wear that night.
Try to find one of those hotels that has a jacuzzi in the room. Share a soak and some wine. Talk about what you love most about each other and how you are always going to try to keep the love alive in your relationship.
Put on those hotel robes, order room service, and watch old black-and-white movies. Then make love or just cuddle with each other until you fall asleep. Always remember this moment and the moment you first knew that you loved only her.
#14 Let Her Feel Pampered
When is the last time she did something for herself? It's probably been quite a while, especially if she works full-time and you have children.
Make the appointment for her to have a manicure and pedicure. Tell her in advance that you have a surprise for her and she needs to set aside the time. Take her there yourself and tell her you're treating her to this. Tell her to call you when she's done and you'll come get her. She'll feel like the luckiest woman in the world for having such a sweet man.
#15 Cook Up Some Love
She's been cooking for you for how many years now? Do you tell her she's a good cook? Do you thank her for making your favorite dishes, even though they take a lot of preparation?
Have you ever watched her cook? Have you ever sat in the kitchen and watched her and talked to her while she cooked? Or do you always leave her in the kitchen alone?
Try something new. Sit in the kitchen and watch her, notice the shape of her neck, the curve of her spine. Watch her hands as she handles the food. These are the same hands that she uses when she's at work doing whatever she does. These are the same hands that she used to put on her makeup, fix her hair and adjust her skirt. These are also the same hands that gently grab you in a crowd, touch your face when she's laying next to you, rub your shoulders when you're tense. Those are the hands you held as you vowed to love her forever on the day of your wedding.
Show her you love her by joining her in the kitchen, sit down and talk to her as she's working hard to prepare your meals with love.
#16 Be a Giver, Not a Taker
I know there are some men out there that are saying to yourselves, "She's going to walk all over me if I do these kinds of things for her." Just let me say that the kind of men who think this way are usually takers and not givers. But I'm telling you right now, if you have a good woman by your side and want to keep her, you're going to have to learn to give. Just as I said earlier, this article is based on two principles, one of which is "there is more happiness in giving than in receiving."
If you love someone, truly love them, you will do whatever you can to keep them by your side and loving you back. Granted, there are some women who will not love you and appreciate you no matter what you do for them. But you are not with that woman, or you wouldn't be reading this article to learn about some simple little things to keep your woman in love with you. You already have a good woman by your side, and you want to keep her.
Trust me, a good woman will not only think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread when you become a giver, and she will respond to your love one hundredfold! That's why there is more happiness in giving! You're going to get back that much, and more. Try it and you will be amazed.
#17 Can I Get You Anything?
Wait on her once in a while. Does she usually pour your coffee for you, serve you first, or give you the last cookie? Once in a while, do one of those things for her.
I once dated a man who would ask me several times in an evening while at his house watching movies, "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" I always thought he was so sweet and thoughtful for asking me. You see men, it is the little things that make us love you.
#18 Plant One on Her in Public!
When is the last time you gave her an unexpected kiss in public? Women like other people to see that their man loves them. She will love you so much more if you are proud to let everyone watching know how you feel!
Want to "wow" her even more? Grab her face with both of your hands, look into her eyes, then give her that smooch!!
#19 When Praying, Hold Her Hand
When you are saying the prayer before a meal, whether in public or in private, hold her hand. This gesture tells her that you are letting God know that the prayer is from both of you
#20 Show Her Chivalry is Not Dead
Don't stop opening doors for her, pulling her chair out for her, letting her order first, and letting her pick the movie. Call me old-fashioned, but women still like a man who does these things. It shows her you are a gentleman and that you respect her.
#21 Offer to Help
Get into the habit of doing this daily. If you take the lead, she will follow your example and offer to help you more. Try it, you'll see! Offer to help her with the cooking (maybe just peel the potatoes or wash the vegetables). You can discuss the day while helping her and it will bring you two closer together.
Offer to help with some of the cleaning. You'll get it done sooner and have more time to spend together. Try this: Instead of her running the errands, offer to run some of them for her; or better yet, run errands together and go out to lunch together. That way it won't seem like such a boring task or chore.
#22 Include Her in Decision-Making
There is an old saying, "A ship cannot have two captains." If you are the head of the household and used to making most of the decisions, try asking her for her opinion first. Even though you're the one who will ultimately decide which direction to take, she'll be thrilled if you ask what she thinks.
You may actually choose to follow her advice. Consider her idea: It might be the best way to go. She'll see that you value her opinion, and this will make her love you even more.
#23 Don't Give Her a Reason to Hate You
Don't let your anger get the best of you. Everyone argues. No couple gets along all of the time. There are going to be disagreements. But before your temper gets out of control, causing you to resort to foul language and name-calling, take a breather. Both of you need to go to separate rooms and cool off.
We have all done it. You are so angry that you shout out the most hateful or disgusting thing you can think of. As soon as you said, it, you knew as soon it was the worst thing to say, but you can't take it back. The damage is done, and you may have hurt her feelings so deeply it will take months to repair the damage and win her approval again. She may end up forgiving you, but whether you want to believe it or not, she lost some respect for you.
So, men, take control of the argument before it gets too heated and say, "Let's take some time to cool off and then we will come back and discuss this when we are both calm." She will thank you for it.
Then make sure of one thing: Don't go to sleep angry. Settle the matter or agree to settle it at a later time, but make peace with each other.
#24 Share the Remote Control
Take turns being in control of the remote for the television or DVD player. Men, this one will probably be the most difficult thing in this list for you to do, but remember: There is a good reason why you are reading this article, and it's not always about you! So share! This gesture may say "I love you darling!" more than any other thing you could do.
#25 Praise Her
Tell her how much you appreciate the little things she does for you. If you are not used to this, it will take some effort to put her feelings ahead of yours and recognize just how much she does. For example, you might say, "Thanks for listening, sweetie, I love how you always stop what you are doing and ask me how my day was."
This is going to strengthen your relationship. When you acknowledge her and thank her for even the little things that she does for you, she is going to want to do even more to please you. So a cycle of appreciation and gratitude has begun, just keep the cycle going.
#26 Listen to Her
When she's talking to you, really listen—don't just nod your head and grunt and pretend. So what if she is not coming to the point fast enough for you? Be patient. She's your woman, she loves you, be respectful enough to listen to what she is saying. You want her to listen to you, so do this for her. She'll love you for it.
#27 Don't Check Out Other Women
When you are with her, give her your full attention. Don't let another woman in the room take your attention off of her. A woman wants to feel that she is in your focus. If you are checking out or watching other women, this will make her feel that you are constantly on the lookout for someone better. If you give her all of your attention, she will feel secure in the relationship and love you more.
#28 Don't Look at Pornography
I don't care what a woman tells you about looking at pornography . . . she doesn't like it. She feels like having her is not enough for you. She thinks you would rather fantasize about those women instead of her. Believe me, she wants to be the one that turns you on. If you feel that something is lacking in the bedroom, talk to her about it. She may be feeling the same way. Discuss what you can both do in the bedroom to turn up the heat again. Maybe buy her some sexy lingerie to wear, put some romantic music on, or light some candles. Try giving each other all-over body massages. Sometimes the massage will be relaxing and hot enough to light a new fire in both of you.
#29 What Does She Do All Day?
Work at showing an interest in her life. What does she do all day at work? What parts of her job does she like and which parts would she like to forget? What does she think of her boss? She spends over half of her life at work. She works hard to bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household income. Show her you appreciate it. Find out exactly what it is that she does there all day.
This is your woman, but how well do you know her? If you don't want to learn about what drives and motivates her, you will eventually lose her.
#30 Play Games
No, I am not talking about playing games with her heart. I am talking about the lost art of playing cards, board games, or word games.
When is the last time you played a game of cards? Has it been so long that you have forgotten? Maybe it's time to start doing something together besides watching tv.
There are hundreds and hundreds of games you can play to relax and have fun together. The time that you spend playing games can be spent reconnecting and becoming best friends again.Tell her you are sorry for all the wasted moments sitting in the same room with her but not talking because you were tuned into the television instead of her.
#31 Be Intimate
Has it been a while since you two have been intimate? Maybe work, kids, or other concerns have been getting in the way or leaving you tired at the end of the day. Don't keep putting it off. She may think that you don't care anymore, so she has stopped caring also. Tell her you have missed being intimate with her, and then tell her what you are going to do about it.
Tell her that you want the both of you to "play hookie" from work. Get the kids off to school, turn off the phones, and spend the day getting reacquainted and include. . . . love-making.
When you make love to her, try some different positions and maybe even different rooms of the house. Whatever it takes to preserve your relationship and strengthen your love, DO IT!
Then make a vow to each other to never let your relationship get to that point again. Remind her of the reasons you married her and tell her that you never want to lose her.
When I was 18 years old, I had the most amazing boyfriend, although he wasn't really a boy, he was 24, and we were crazy about each other. He had a pet name for me. He called me "Peanut." When I asked him why he called me that, he replied, "I don't know. To me, you're just 'Peanut.'" I can't explain the feeling I got every time he called me that. He called me Peanut more than he called me by my real name. It made me feel special, and I felt like it was his way of telling me he loved me. I'll never forget how that made me feel.
Do you have a pet name for her? A name that only the two of you know? If you do, has it been a while since you called her that?
My husband may get embarrassed because of what I am about to share with you, but he will understand why and will get over it: I met my husband online. We began our relationship thousands of miles apart—me in Kansas City, Missouri, and him on the island of Curacao in the Caribbean. After seeing his pictures, I told him he was very handsome and called him "my handsome Curacao man." I called him that for a while, then one day we were talking about it, and he asked me "what is handsome?" (Since he was not completely fluent in English). And I told him "well, the Spanish word for handsome is 'guapo'." He immediately began laughing. When I asked him why, he said, "because I thought 'handsome' meant 'handy' or 'good with the hands.'" We both broke into uncontrollable laughter for several minutes.
So, now, when I call him "my handsome Curacao man," we both immediately smile and still break into laughter, because it makes us remember how it was when we first fell in love.
I think everyone should have a "pet" name for their mate. It endears us to them. It's something that we have with them that we have with no one else. No matter how insignificant you may think this is, it is a way to bring you two together and keep reminding each other of your love.
#33 Be Sweet
When talking to her, use words like, "my darling," "my love," "sweetheart," "lover," "babe," "honey," or "sweetie." Don't just use those words when everything is going great—I'm telling you to use those kinds of words all the time, and especially when things are not going so good.
Let's say she tried to reach you on your cell earlier in the day and she accuses you of purposely not answering your phone. You are less likely to have the situation escalate into anger if you start your sentence off with "my darling." Take control of the situation by using words that will comfort and reassure instead of words that will only cause hurt or anger.
#34 Say "I'm Sorry"
What is it with men and saying "I'm sorry"? You would think we were asking you to remove your "manhood" or something!
Little things go a long way with a woman. For example, you could say something like, "'I'm sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you last night, but you know how much I love watching those National Geographic documentaries." Or you could say, "I'm sorry I wasn't in a very good mood before you left this morning, I just had a lot on my mind with everything that's going on at work."
Do this, even about things that may have seemed small or trivial, and you will let her know that you care about her feelings. She will love you so much, and she will be more apologetic as well. What goes around comes around.
#35 Make Her Laugh
Life just gets too serious sometimes. Lighten it up. Make her laugh. You know her better than anyone, and I'm sure there are some past experiences or situations that you can remember that you laughed about. Remind her of it, if you can't think of anything new.
I remember years ago, my husband had been out of work for a while. He was filling out yet another employment application for a place he really wanted to work. He was depressed because he hadn't found a job yet. Feeling that I had to lift his spirits, when he asked me "What should I put for salary?" I said, "Put YES!" We both started laughing so hard that it turned an otherwise depressing mood into a light-hearted one.
#36 Have Your Portraits Done by a Photographer
When is that last time you had your pictures taken together? Was it on your wedding day?
Maybe it's time to schedule a session with a photographer. She will love you for thinking of it and it will be something you'll both remember for a long time.
#37 What Is Her Favorite Love Song?
What was your favorite song as a couple when you were courting? Or what is her favorite song?
Email her the link to a YouTube video of a song you know she'll love, one that will remind her of your courtship or wedding day, or just a song that you have chosen for her to let her know she's still the woman in your life.
#38 Make It a Special Anniversary
Do you have a landmark anniversary coming up? Maybe your next wedding anniversary will be a milestone, like 25, 30, 40, or even 50 years of marriage!
Why not suggest that the two of you renew your vows? Let her know how special she still is and that you would do it all over again.
It needn't be elaborate. As a matter of fact, simple is more romantic.
#39 Never Stop Holding Hands
I knew a couple who had been married for over 50 years and when I saw them together, whether at home, at a restaurant, or sharing in their worship, they were always holding hands.
I thought, how wonderful that after all these years they still act like they're dating and want to hold the other's hand!
I told her that I noticed it and asked her how she kept that same love for him that she had in the beginning. She responded "I think of it this way: how can I stay mad at him and hold his hand at the same time?" She said they never let the sun set with either of them angry with the other.
So if you're having trouble getting over an argument, hold her hand; then the angry feeling will leave you and the words "I'm sorry" won't be so hard to say.
#40 When a Man Loves a Woman
Watch the opening scene to this movie. Maybe you have seen it and you remember it. I think this is a very cute scene.
They are in a bar, and they pretend this is the first time they have ever met. This is romantic, playful and fun. I think every couple should try this at least once, and just have fun with it. Say the things to each other that you never had the courage to say when you were first dating.
Now Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan make out right there at the bar and I am not suggesting you do that, because you might just get kicked out. But keep it romanitc and tasteful, and have fun with it. Also, don't do this as a performance or to be a spectacle to onlookers. Just keep this between you and her. Be creative and sexy.
Why not add this to your list of things to do on a Friday night?
Open Your Heart and Give
Now, of course, you don't have to do all of these things. Just doing some of them will make her think you are the best man in the world.
Remember, it's not difficult to please a woman unless you don't like giving, and it is the little things that will bring her the most happiness. Also, by giving to her, you will reap a hundred times more than you are giving. She will be pleased, grateful, and she will love you more.
Comments from Readers Like You
mjkearn 11 months ago from Kilkenny Ireland Level 6 Commenter
Boy if there was any justice in this world you'd have got a HotD and a Nugget for this article. 40 things, I couldn't think of 10 if my life depended on it. That was then but now I've printed this off and hidden it. Thanks for writing! Voting up and up and sharing. MJ.
rgalloway56 11 months ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
You are very kind. Thank you for your encouraging words. I am blushing!
The fact that you printed it off and are saving it is the best compliment I could receive! I hope to help those men out there that think women are difficult to please. Because we are not. Our most cherished memories are those of the "little" things that our loved ones did to put a smile on our face and deep impression in our heart. Again, thank you.
girishpuri 10 months ago from NCR , INDIA Level 6 Commenter
Very good tips but where is the girl ?....lol
voted up, very nice
rgalloway56 9 months ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Thank you girishpuri! I'm glad you enjoyed it!!
Tony 6 months ago
Where was this 4 months ago?
rgalloway56 6 months ago
It was here!! Sorry you didn't see it until now! Thanks for the compliment Tony!
Esther Strong 6 months ago from UK Level 3 Commenter
I should be so lucky .......... LOL
This should be compulsory reading for all males. Thumbs up, etc.
rgalloway56 6 months ago
Wow! Thanks for the compliment. I hope you will share it with your friends!
oceanuniverse 6 months ago from California
Love your article here, enjoyed what you had to say. What you say is so right and should be followed, thank you for sharing.
rgalloway56 6 months ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Thanks so much for your thoughts! I feel that I speak for a lot of women when I tell the men out there that we are really not difficult to please; MOST of us anyway. I love all the LITTLE things that my husband does. I know he took a little time out of his day to put a smile on my face and a little more love in my heart. I want EVERYONE to experience how that feels. Thanks again!
confused 4 months ago
I do about 37 and the 40 things on this list and quite frankly it is just expected. As an example, I just cooked her dinner and served it in bed and then took the dishes down to the kitchen. I then served her a turtle caramel bundt cake for desert. Cleaned that up, brought her a glass of wine that I bought for her a couple of days ago. I didn't even get a thank you. I tried to give her a hug and a kiss when she got home from work, but she said she needed to just chill alone for a while. When I got home from my long day 30 minutes earlier. I did dishes from breakfast, made the coffee for tomorrow, took out trash, laid out kids clothes for school tomorrown, checked homework, signed agendas, and picked up the house. I agree with your list; I guess it just depends on the person. I could add about 10 more that I do on a normal basis; I would probably try the 3 that I don't do now, but I think it would be for naught. I really have tried. I wish the list worked for me and I was appreciated.
rgalloway56 4 months ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Confused - MOST people (men OR women) would have responded to your loving acts in a most positive and appreciate manner. However, I sense there is something much deeper that is inhibiting a loving response. Bless your heart for trying so hard! It hurts when love, or even appreciation is not returned. Try just patiently talking to her to see if you can get to the root of the problem and don't give up on her, that is, if you still feel she is worth it. It could be that she is having issues with her own self-worth and doesn't feel worthy of so much love and attention. Whatever the problem, try to get to the heart of it, so you two can work on it together. Most couples AVOID sensitive topics because it might prompt an argument. But if you set ground rules before you begin your discussion, you can both express your side of things without anger. I am sorry that your efforts in applying the suggestions in my article were met with so much apathy. Since most of the problems that develop in a relationship stem from a lack of communication, I hope you two can sit down and have a true "heart-to-heart" and turn your relationship around.
Mr c 5 weeks ago
Hi ya, I've been reading this page cos I'm going through it at the mo, I do pretty much all these but it's really hard for her to open up to me, I try so hard it's killing me, she feels the same way about me as I do her but her situation is a little tricky and she's been let down before. She's trying to push me away to so it will be easier on me but that's the last thing i need her to do, I'm at my best when I'm talking to her, I really want to fight my hardest for her but not too hard it scares her off. I really don't know what to do, if I lose her that's me finished. I've had a lot of heartache in my life so I've only let her in, I just can't lose her she's the best thing I've ever known. mr c.
rgalloway56 4 weeks ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Mr C - I don't know all the facts of what you and your woman are going through but I can empathize. I have been hurt, I believe, worse than I would ever wish on my worst enemy. But something my husband told me when we were first getting to know each other has really stuck with me. He said "You HAVE to trust." That's easy to SAY, but difficult to do, when you've been hurt beyond repair. But he was right. If you think this person might be the one, then you have to let go of the past hurts and trust this new person. YES, it's terrifying!!!! But how will you EVER be able to experience the happiness you're wanting, if you won't try trusting again? Life is too short to be STUCK in that bubble! You will have to be great communicators and work at it every day, but you have to learn to trust again, so you can love and be loved, the way you've always wanted to be loved. You can do it, I did.
Mr c 3 weeks ago
Hi ya rgallway56, thanks for your reply, but I'm afraid she's not my woman, she's still someone else's, but her husband did the worst thing he could ever do to her, and let her down by cheating on her, so she has no trust or honesty there anymore that's why we've got talking and sharing personal information about each other. She also has 2 kids that mean everything to her and doesn't want them to get hurt by a split which she will blame herself for. I've always told her that I would also do my very best for her kids and want them in my life like I want her. I just haven't seen my life going anywhere for a long time, so when she came into my life it just gave me a future to work for with her, and I know in my heart if I lose her that's me done for good. I've had too many knockdowns to take this too, I really don't know what to do anymore, she's holding me at arm's length to make it easier on me, but I know she wants and needs more from me. It's going to kill me if I walk away, knowing she's not happy with who she's with and giving him another chance to destroy her. She really deserves the best, and I want to be the 1 who shows her how special she can be again. I love her so much it's killing me :( I've never felt like this about anyone in my life i really do trust her with my life. Mr c
rgalloway56 8 days ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Mr C - I know it won't be easy to let go and move on, but in the past, when I found myself in a similar situation, I poured myself into a hobby or an online course that peaked my interest. Getting our minds focused on something else can be a great way to keep from isloating oneself and going into depression. You might even think about taking a night class at the nearby college to meet other people and broaden your circle of friends. You sound like a great person and I feel it won't be long before you meet someone that interests you. Don't give up, whatever you do!
Mr c 7 days ago
Thanks for your advice rgalloway56 I will take on board what you've said, and who knows what's round the corner. I really hope it's something as great and special as she is, I'll never stop caring or loving her and she will always have that true special place in my heart forever.
Who knows, she might even realise what we had was worth trying for and give me a proper chance. Everything is out on the open now and he knows about me and her so hopefully this is what's needed and gives her the freedom to understand what she really wants from a relationship cos theres no trust in their relationship whatsoever$6, I just want the best for her in her life. Again, thanks for your help I will take everything you said on board, and keep up the great work you do your page really made things great between us while we were together. I hope we get back there soon. Thanks, Mr c
rgalloway56 7 days ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Mr. C - I'm glad to hear your positive attitude. You know, a woman that is very close to me does something I don't think is healthy and it usually ends up disastrous (although not for her) but she still continues the pattern. What she does is, she keeps at least two men in her life, so if one doesn't work out, she has a "go to" guy, so she's never single. It's always one of the guys that gets their heart broken and meeting a couple of them before, they really didn't deserve it. Sometimes she is up front with them about the other man, but often times, she's not.
Anyway, you can probably see where I am going with this. My advice is, don't be the "go to" guy. There are a lot of women out there that deserve someone like you and they will gladly make you their "one and only."
Thanks for the compliments. I like to offer insight whenever possible because life is too short to play games with that most vital organ "the human heart." Take Care.
arnelirobles 3 days ago from Polomolok, South Cotabato
Nice list. I already tried some of them and I could say it's true. A woman wants to feel loved, as everyone else. One preacher told us that a key to a successful relationship is Communication - it is its oxygen. Without it, it can't breathe. If you want to know what she wants you to do, a little discussion may do.
rgalloway56 3 days ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
arnelirobles - Thank you for your encouraging words. It is so fulfilling to know that people are inspired to follow my suggestions. I agree that "communication" is like oxygen. You can't breathe without oxygen and you can't have a successful relationship without communication. So many in the world are selfish, but they are also unhappy. Giving to others (especially our spouse) brings happiness. Thanks again. Many blessings to you and yours.
vikramdude745 2 days ago
After reading this article can't wait to get married and have the chance to do all the things that you mentioned for my would be better half.
Kevin Peter 2 days ago from Global Citizen Level 3 Commenter
Very useful article, especially for women because men who read this article will keep them happy. Many of the points included have never been even thought by me. I am sure this will turn my married life into a better one. Thanks a lot!
Zubair Ahmed 2 days ago Level 3 Commenter
Nice writing. Very useful ideas, just hope more men read it and start to apply the ideas in their lives.
rgalloway56 2 days ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Thank you ALL for your overwhelming and positive feedback!! It is definitely rewarding. When I set about writing the article I was just hoping to help people improve their relationships because once you have found love, it can be difficult to maintain it. Instead of ending unsatisfying relationships and moving on to someone else, why not try to strengthen the love you have? I see by the responses that I am accomplishing what I set out to do. Again, thank you for your delightful comments!
DavidPerks 2 days ago from High Wycombe
I'm pleased with the amount I have ticked off on this list! Great advice, which works both ways!
rgalloway56 2 days ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Thanks! and YES, it works both ways, you are absolutely correct! Glad to hear that you were already doing some of these things. What a thoughtful man!! I'm sure you have already experienced the benefits of applying some of these things. Thank you once again!
Nationette 38 hours ago from Nashua, NH
Will my boyfriend please stumble upon this article please?! Great stuff and a great variety sugar and spice in the content.
platinumOwl4 34 hours ago Level 2 Commenter
I am in full agreement with this article. There is a woman of whom I am extremely fond of, and I made a terrible mistake once. I had to apologize like a million times in one night. I was a tad harsh on a delicate issue. I will never forgive myself, although she forgave me. And this is one of the reasons I remain fond of her.
Kathleen Cochran 32 hours ago Level 6 Commenter
There is a caveat here: these things will work if she loves you. If she doesn't, nothing will help. But if she loves you, doing these things will trigger a response that will return the effort back to you a hundred-fold.
rgalloway56 31 hours ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Nationette - I am so happy that you appreciated the article. This article was a labor of love, in more ways than one! Thank you so much!
platinumOwl4- It is nice to know that more and more men are relating to my article! I can tell that you are a very devoted partner. She forgave you because you were not afraid to tell her how sorry you were. You are showing other men that it is good to have a tender and sensitive side.
Thank you for your kind words. I wish nothing but the best for you.
Kathleen Cochran - You are absolutely right. If she doesn't love you, nothing will help. But if she truly loves you, she will return a love that will last a lifetime!! Thanks for your uplifting and encouraging comments!
BernietheMovieGuy 28 hours ago from Syracuse, NY
Very well written and compelling article. You have identified what I have always known to be the way to a woman's heart. I am, actually, a terminal romantic at heart, but the women in my life have made me cynical. I am currenly in a relationship hiatus because of the way I have been treated in the past. I don't know - maybe I tend to gravitate towards high-maintenance partners and then can't live up to their expectations. I am busy, though, but always try to make time for that special someone in my life. It just never seems to be enough for them. I will say this, though. I believe that a good relationship is defined not by the quantity of time spent with your partner, but the quality of the time spent. But even the best quality time is worthless when the feelings from both sides of the table just aren't there. It never mattered how much I "loved her" - it seems she never "loved me" quite as much in return. Thanks though for the suggestions. I continue to believe that they are the path to eventual bliss.
rgalloway56 28 hours ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
It's interesting that you say "I believe that a good relationship is defined not by the quantity of time spent with your partner, but the quality of the time spent." Waiting for the processing of Immigration documents, my husband and I have been apart for just over a year, and he is finally coming home June 11th. So, during this past year, we have had to really work on letting each other know how much we love each other by doing some of those "little things" I mentioned in my article, since the "quantity" has been simply nil.
Our appreciation for each other has definitely grown. He read my article when he was here last year and he was grateful for the insight. He truly wants to be pleasing and that has just made me overflow with love and respect for him.
Like you, I have been in one-sided relationships and could have become bitter, but also like you, I never wavered in my belief that there is still more happiness in giving than in receiving, that is, as long as the person you are giving to reciprocates, to keep the circle going. Thank you for your kind and supportive comments. All the best to you.
Viva Jones 26 hours ago from UK Level 1 Commenter
I loved this - I'd put 'make her laugh' much higher up in the list, though. It's the one thing that might come naturally to a few men. I hope lots read this article - I've never met a man who's remotely romantic... :(
rgalloway56 26 hours ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Thanks Viva. I agree that a sense of humor is definitely high on the list of many women. I also love a man that can make me laugh, as laughter is good for the soul! I also agree that many men are not romantic. That's why it is sometimes up to us women, to drop a few hints.
I dropped the hint with my husband by telling him I wanted his opinion of my article. After reading it, he said he thought he was very good. But it wasn't long before he started doing the things I mentioned in my article! So it's not that he didn't want to please me, it's just that he really didn't know how, other than showing physical affection. He said he didn't know it was as simple as that!! Thanks again for your positive comments.
sparkleyfinger 24 hours ago from Glasgow Level 3 Commenter
Great article- perfect for any neanderthal type men out there who simply haven't got a clue. Choose even 10 of these things to do for your mrs, and she will love you always! lol
rgalloway56 24 hours ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
Mission accomplished sparkleyfinger!!! Thanks!
sehrishirfan 5 hours ago
It is a wonderful article. I think my man may also have it hidden somewhere because he follows almost thirty nine things from it ..... GlanCe ! :P
rgalloway56 5 hours ago from Kansas City, Missouri Hub Author
That is wonderful sehrishirfan ! I would hold on to him!!