How to Deal With Your Girlfriend's or Wife's Mood Swings

Updated on June 17, 2019
princesswithapen profile image

I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful.

How to deal with mood swings in women? The answer to coping with your girlfriend or wife's pms related mood swings is not in black and white.

Managing and controlling female mood swings requires the four Ps—Presence of mind, Patience, Perseverance and Pampering. Stop looking for why women have mood swings and find out how you can stop annoying your girlfriend or wife during her mood swings.

1. Leave her alone: Don't pester or bother her

Ask your girlfriend or wife what is bothering her only once. If she doesn't seem too keen on talking about her mood swings, leave her alone, and give her some space. Allow her to take her own time to bounce back in a good mood.

Constantly asking your partner why she is upset may be the last thing she wants when she is having a mood swing. Regardless of whether her mood swings have been triggered by pms or not, giving her some space may just do the trick.

2. Listen to her needs: Find out if she is upset about something specific

Your girlfriend may have swirling moods because she is upset or angry with something very specific. It could be something you have done, or it could be something silly that has triggered her mood swings.

Listen patiently and don't try to avoid a seemingly boring conversation with her. Her mood swing may be driven by factors external to pms related symptoms. Talk to your girlfriend to find out if she needs anything from you, whether it is a change in your behavior or more attention.

3. Don't do things that will annoy her

Don't give your girlfriend or wife's mood swing to spiral out of control by doing something that will annoy her. For example, don't look at other women, don't play music that she hates, don't burp loudly in front of her, don't be arrogant and don't dirty the bathroom.

While these were just a few commonly known things that can be annoying to her during her vulnerable state of mind, be aware and don't do anything that irks her.

Don't pick up an argument when she is having her mood swings.
Don't pick up an argument when she is having her mood swings. | Source

4. Don't be righteous: Be non-judgmental and don't be bent on being right even if she is wrong

The last thing that a woman needs while going through pms mood swings is a righteous person telling her that she is wrong. You can win half the battle with her mood swings by overlooking her wrongs temporarily.

Think of yourself as the bigger person and be numb to blaming games, heated arguments, or unapologetic rants. Don't be bent on being right. She is likely to realize that she is being unnecessarily annoying. Your cool and calm behavior will have a calming effect on her, making her feel better instantly.

5. Empathize with her: Agree with most of the things she says

If your partner is having mood swings because of external causes such as having a fight with someone at work or just having a bad hair day, empathize with her. Agree to whatever she has to say no matter how childish or ridiculous it is.

Your girlfriend or wife will feel relieved to know that someone in the world thinks like her, no matter how stupid you feel doing it. She is likely to join you in laughing about her silly behavior once her mood swing has fizzled out.

6. Allow her to vent: Emotional outlet can be very healing

A woman's mood swings are not always as herculean and gigantic as they seem to be. Sometimes they may just be a result of bottled up emotions that are looking for an outlet. This outlet can be in the form of a moody rant that she needs to let off her chest.

Be a good husband or boyfriend and soak up these rants without thinking too much about them. Don't pass them off as silly or stupid; else you may aggravate your partner's mood swings.

7. Pamper your girlfriend or wife to deal with her pms mood swings

The easiest way of dealing with your partner's pms mood swings is to pamper her. A cuddle or a tickle, a back rub or a massage in the bathtub, a hot chocolate or a takeaway from her favorite local food joint—Do the little things that will lift up her spirits immediately.

8. Make her laugh: Manage her mood swings with your sense of humor

Aim to be the antidote and not the aggravator of your girlfriend or wife's mood swings. Deflate her stress and pain by cracking jokes. Thaw her down by making faces or remind her about an incident that generally makes her roll with laughter.

Use your sense of humor to infuse a light mood in her. It will take her mind off certain bodily functions if the mood swing is pms related. Even if it isn't, good humor will instantly make her break into a smile.

9. Keep her busy: Involve her in anything that diverts her attention

You can help control your girlfriend or wife's mood swings by involving her in an activity that diverts her attention from psychological and physical factors that are upsetting her. Ask her to help you with something, watch a movie with her or play a video game with her.

Keeping her busy may not diffuse her irritability, but it will help to take her mind away from the physical aspects of a pms related mood swing.

Satisfying a food craving can be an instant mood fix.
Satisfying a food craving can be an instant mood fix.

10. Satiate her food cravings: Let her favorite foods lift her mood

Sweet cravings or cravings of particular foods are known to be quick mood fixes. Use this trick to instantly calm your partner down when she is having a mood swing. Whether it is a chocolate, wine or a dessert, do this before you have any conversation with her.

11. Shower her with compliments: Make her feel good

Just like how a guy's confidence levels will start peaking immediately when a girl strokes his ego, a woman's emotional quotient receives a loving boost when she receives compliments. Kiss your partner's mood swings goodbye by giving her compliments.

Don't make your compliments come across as premeditated or awkward. Be cool and keep it natural otherwise it could become the cause of another conflict with your girlfriend or wife.

12. Take her out: Treat her to some fresh air

A stroll in the park or half an hour of daydreaming at your local café can make a world of difference to your moody girlfriend or wife. Fresh air, sights, and sounds of people and places will help her calm her nerves down.

Don't worry about emptying your pockets while going out because this trip does not need to be a glamorous dinner date. A hot cuppa and a patient ear are all you will need to spare.

13. Cuddle up or tuck her into bed: Get her to take some rest

Whether pms related or not, mood swings can be aggravated due to fatigue, frustration, or stress. Your partner's mood swings may be on the verge of going from bad to worse if she has not been getting enough rest.

Waking up early and lack of sleep the previous night could be the reason why she has an irritable look on her face when she wakes up in the morning. This could snowball into massive mood swings during the day. Sometimes the easiest fixes to life's troubles lie in the simplest and most basic of all human actions like hugs and cuddles.

Cuddle up with her in your living room or tuck her into bed while watching TV. Watch her bounce back after she has had some rest.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2013 princesswithapen


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    • profile image


      10 days ago

      So essentially "give up any sense of your wants, needs, self-respect or personality and behave like a slave."

      What terrible advice.

    • profile image


      3 weeks ago

      Great! What you said is absolute BS. So, you have no say what so ever. Good luck with this

    • profile image

      Onesimus Aiwansosa Aiwanfo 

      6 weeks ago

      Thanks for the information. being wondering how and what to do to lift my fiancee mood up.

    • profile image


      3 months ago

      My gf is on pms now. We are together now over 15 months. But this month she is feeling very low.. and I am

      Keep trying to change her mood any time. Some times it's very difficult to handle it for men. Right now she is in saloon for her hair Botox treatment and I am waiting out saloon like over 2hr in car

      To make her happy feeling. And she keep sending me msg you waiting me out side it's give me so proud... and I am

      Feel happy at least she can feel in this time I love her to much

    • profile image

      Rob OzyGuy 

      4 months ago





      I’ve been with my wife now nearly 30 years, and one BIG mistake I’ve made (and there are a few) has been to suck it up. Always treading gingerly when she’s been in awful moods, and now I look back to decades of resentment at having been restricted, boxes up and hushed up for fear of aggravating her further. My advice to all young men is to show courage early on in relationships with women, and make it clear that those toxic moods are unacceptable.

    • profile image


      4 months ago

      My girlfriend is on her period and having mood swings and i do not know what to do

    • profile image


      4 months ago

      A guy reacting in a manner to a woman with these mood swings is acting domestically violently and unacceptably beyond any doubt. It’s up to the person who is suffering from these debilitating conditions to accept their behaviour and get appropriate help. It’s not fair for either a guy or gal to require other people to modify their behaviour to accommodate your moods.

    • profile image

      Steve Arthur 

      5 months ago

      So basically we need to be fkng slaves. WTF? Can't they control their fkng mood swings for us?

    • profile image

      perile Mikels 

      5 months ago

      5 years NW. I dated someone he's been nice and caring. all over the sudden things changed and went sour which lead us to broke up. he even reached an extent of killing me .I was forced to move to another city for my freedom there I met someone ready to settle with me. some hours ago he just called saying he misses me though not happy with my step.

      what should I do please help.

    • profile image

      Alex S 

      6 months ago

      Total piece of c...p. Doing this only perpetuates abuse.

    • profile image

      Ian Canoe 

      12 months ago

      Men usually have presence of mind, (or at least a mind that is present). Patience is an optional extra. That;s all you need, the rest is pandering to a mental patient. Whatever he problem is tell her to cuddle a hot water bottle and masturbate until she isn't so needy(unless it's need for help with the orgasms).

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      Sounds like an advice from some simp mangina to another.

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      Women, you're DONE. Good-effing-bye!

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      So this is essentialky the same aryicle yhat was written in the 1950's about how to please your man. What a crock of sexist crap. Women and men should co-exist. Women are meant to fill a mams weakness and make them stronger as men are supposed to lift and fill a womans weaknessrs and mske them stronger. Women are not supposed to do what men can and vice versa. How about printing articles that say be supportive if each other insyead of saying men need to bow down. This feminatzism is toxic and is destroying society. Women have it s lot easier then men. Gender descrimination is legsl if you are female yet a man cant even look sideways at a woman withiut being branded sexiest. You being the mefia have a social obligation to be fair and honest in what you print and this is not either. You have removed half of the population and made them evil. To the point that men are affraid to be men now. Biys are affraid ro grow up as men. Boys cant look up to their mithers without being turned into females. Grow up and be fair. Stop this attack on men. Without us non of you would be here.

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      This is how i dealt with that time of the month with my wife... I basically informed her that being on her period is no excuse to be mean to be or be a bitch to me. I informed her that she can either choose to control her self or choose to leave... We have never had a problem.

      What this sorry excuse for an article is pushing is the normalization of abuse of men. Sorry ladies i dont abide that.

    • profile image

      Create Case 

      12 months ago

      Written by a self-absorbed feminist. Of course the simple solution is to stop being a psycho but that isn't good enough, is it?

    • profile image

      jimbo harris 

      14 months ago

      this is just encouraging abuse towards men. Why cant women just stop being selfish self righteous self absorbed cnts? Its all about ME ME ME with them. If they wanna indulge in such behavior - leave them.

      If a man behaved badly there wld be countless feminist articles asking for the woman to leave the guy. If you they want real equality then they should be treated equally too. So leave them and their craziness and find someone else who will treat you better.

    • profile image


      15 months ago

      What an extremely patronising article.

    • profile image


      16 months ago

      I hate relationship talks. It is always about what I am not doing or what I did. The emotional woman never takes any responsibility. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I will never marry again. Im only allowed to be happy when she is happy. When they are being emotional then they are also being irrational. Its a no win.

    • profile image


      16 months ago

      This advice is as useful as a knitted condom.. I have tried absolutely everything in the past and in my opinion it's a loosing battle when a girls mood persists and persists. If the moods are out of the blue or over stupid little mistakes or comments you've made.. No matter what you do it will not be good enough. Some girls are only happy when you bend all your morals and end up wrapped around their finger.. unhappy... It's messy

    • profile image


      17 months ago

      I stay with my girlfriend and her daughter. Whenever she asked you something and when you tell her you still busy on other thing then she'll start acting like spoil brat by being moody and sulking just because you didn't do as fast as she wanted. I'm enough with her mood's no wonder her previous relationship could last a month because she wants to control a man.

    • profile image


      21 months ago

      I'm through tolerating emotional abuse from women. I moved out during my girlfriend's most recent PMS episode two weeks ago, and I've never felt more liberated. Of course now she's crying for me to come back, and making all kinds of promises. All it took was a phone #, e-mail change, and blocking her on social media and now that problem is solved too. Good riddance. Being alone is definitely better.

    • profile image


      21 months ago

      Be a man, grow some balls and leave.

    • profile image


      21 months ago

      Obviously written by a selfish woman who either doesn't know or doesn't care what affect her childish moods can have on a relationship. She obviously doesn't care about you, so the only solution is to dump her. Tell her exactly why you are leaving, and let her know that you can only be with a mature, responsible woman who has control over her emotions. Then leave, don't turn back, and cut off all communication. That is the only way she will every take responsibility for her actions. Let her make someone else miserable. It's better to be alone than with a moody woman.

    • profile image


      22 months ago

      Just don't simultaneously of her mood...

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      One of the most beta articles I’ve read with rubbish advice, clearly written by a feminist.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      all these dudes talking about this being horrible advice and "rewarding abuse" and sht is pretty ignorant tbh lol... its not abuse, its having mood swings. and youre not 'bending over backwards,' youre simply being a decent human fcking being...if you cant handle being kind to your loved one in a time when they need you most than youre pretty fckin awful in my eyes lol. if you were feeling bad you know that you would be very grateful for someone loving you and being kind and taking care of you a bit. you sound like children, "its not fair!!!111!!" life isnt fair and relationships arent about fairness, theyre about teamwork. and sometimes your partner needs held a bit. the only problem or 'abuse' that would arise is if your girl wouldnt do things like this for you, or belittles you for being sad, etc. but you can be a decent human and a good boyfriend/partner if you just be more considerate and less selfish. cheers.

    • profile image

      Line drawn here! 

      2 years ago

      So bend over backwards to a point where you snap in half?

      Tolerate abuse to a point where you have to get out of your own home to feel relaxed again?

      Sacrifice everything you are in the vain hope that maybe you'll get back the woman you fell in love with?

      Change the entire dynamic of a healthy relationship into one of pandering to egotistical demands and having to hide to avoid conflict?

      Alternatively, why not address this as a health condition and prescribe medication or treatment accordingly.

      If a man did any of this he'd be viewed as a lunatic and either locked up, dosed up or ostracised from the community, his friends and family!

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      You could try that Chinese thing with needles it's should relax her..

      You know what do they call it,,, um yeah heroin..

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Rewarding abuse by pampering? Seriously... Ingredients for a severely toxic relationship right there..

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Horrible article to be honest

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      I refuse to tolerate women's bad moods, if my wife gets in one I just either go do my own thing and tell her not to come anywhere near me until she's cool again, or I leave the house and go to the gym or something. I don't see why I should have to put up with a bad mood, I know we all get into them, but no one should suffer just because you're in a bit of a mood.

    • profile image

      Egelan Solomon,Baragoi Kenya 

      2 years ago

      The advice is substancial to ladies,nevertheless,we can not burden men with hot thoughts of where to run to to avoid increasing the wife's/gfriend's moods.The ladies should learn how to control their mood swings and develop a mechanism of living well with the husband or boyfriend.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      This is horrible advice. If someone is having mood swings to the point where it is affecting your relationship then they either need to seek a doctor for help or you need to leave the relationship. Unpredictability is not a good characteristic for a relationship and the blame should not be on the actions of the one being harmed by it.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      7 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Mood swings hmm I am that way sometimes your points are clear and well advised thanks

    • bizna profile image


      7 years ago from NAIROBI - KENYA

      Good tips, i especially love number 11. It works really well.


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