How to Deal With Your Girlfriend's or Wife's Mood Swings

Updated on December 12, 2016

How to deal with mood swings in women? The answer to coping with your girlfriend or wife's pms related mood swings is not in black and white.

Managing and controlling female mood swings requires the four Ps - Presence of mind, Patience, Perseverance and Pampering. Stop looking for why women have mood swings and find out how you can stop annoying your girlfriend or wife during her mood swings.

1) Leave her alone: Don't pester or bother her

Ask your girlfriend or wife what is bothering her only once. If she doesn't seem too keen on talking about her mood swings, leave her alone and give her some space. Allow her to take her own time to bounce back in a good mood.

Constantly asking your partner why she is upset may be the last thing she wants when she is having a mood swing. Regardless of whether her mood swings have been triggered by pms or not, giving her some space may just do the trick.

2) Listen to her needs: Find out if she is upset about something specific

Your girlfriend may have swirling moods because she is upset or angry with something very specific. It could be something you have done or it could be something silly that has triggered her mood swings.

Listen patiently and don't try to avoid a seemingly boring conversation with her. Her mood swing may be driven by factors external to pms related symptoms. Talk to your girlfriend to find out if she needs anything from you, whether it is a change in your behavior or more attention.

3) Don't do things that will annoy her

Don't give your girlfriend or wife's mood swing to spiral out of control by doing something that will annoy her. For example, don't look at other women, don't play music that she hates, don't burp loudly in front of her, don't be arrogant and don't dirty the bathroom.

While these were just a few commonly known things that can be annoying to her during her vulnerable state of mind, be aware and don't do anything that irks her.

Don't pick up an argument when she is having her mood swings.
Don't pick up an argument when she is having her mood swings. | Source

4) Don't be righteous: Be non-judgmental and don't be bent on being right even if she is wrong

The last thing that a woman needs while going through pms mood swings is a righteous person telling her that she is wrong. You can win half the battle with her mood swings by overlooking her wrongs temporarily.

Think of yourself as the bigger person and be numb to blaming games, heated arguments or unapologetic rants. Don't be bent on being right. She is likely to realize that she is being unnecessarily annoying. Your cool and calm behavior will have a calming effect on her, making her feel better instantly.

5) Empathize with her: Agree with most of the things she says

If your partner is having mood swings because of external causes such as having a fight with someone at work or just having a bad hair day, empathize with her. Agree to whatever she has to say no matter how childish or ridiculous it is.

Your girlfriend or wife will feel relieved to know that someone in the world thinks like her, no matter how stupid you feel doing it. She is likely to join you in laughing about her silly behavior once her mood swing has fizzled out.

6) Allow her to vent: Emotional outlet can be very healing

A woman's mood swings are not always as herculean and gigantic as they seem to be. Sometimes they may just be a result of bottled up emotions that are looking for an outlet. This outlet can be in the form of a moody rant that she needs to let off her chest.

Be a good husband or boyfriend and soak up these rants without thinking too much about them. Don't pass them off as silly or stupid, else you may aggravate your partner's mood swings.

7) Pamper your girlfriend or wife to deal with her pms mood swings

The easiest way of dealing with your partner's pms mood swings is to pamper her. A cuddle or a tickle, a back rub or a massage in the bathtub, a hot chocolate or a takeaway from her favorite local food joint – Do the little things that will lift up her spirits immediately.

8) Make her laugh: Manage her mood swings with your sense of humor

Aim to be the antidote and not the aggravator of your girlfriend or wife's mood swings. Deflate her stress and pain by cracking jokes. Thaw her down by making faces or remind her about an incident that generally makes her roll with laughter.

Use your sense of humor to infuse a light mood in her. It will take her mind off certain bodily functions if the mood swing is pms related. Even if it isn't, good humor will instantly make her break into a smile.

9) Keep her busy: Involve her in anything that diverts her attention

You can help control your girlfriend or wife's mood swings by involving her in an activity that diverts her attention from psychological and physical factors that are upsetting her. Ask her to help you with something, watch a movie with her or play a video game with her.

Keeping her busy may not diffuse her irritability but it will help to take her mind away from the physical aspects of a pms related mood swing.

Satisfying a food craving can be an instant mood fix.
Satisfying a food craving can be an instant mood fix.

10) Satiate her food cravings: Let her favorite foods lift her mood

Sweet cravings or cravings of particular foods are known to be quick mood fixes. Use this trick to instantly calm your partner down when she is having a mood swing. Whether it is a chocolate, wine or a dessert, do this before you have any conversation with her.

11) Shower her with compliments: Make her feel good

Just like how a guy's confidence levels will start peaking immediately when a girl strokes his ego, a woman's emotional quotient receives a loving boost when she receives compliments. Kiss your partner's mood swings goodbye by giving her compliments.

Don't make your compliments come across as premeditated or awkward. Be cool and keep it natural otherwise if could become the cause of another conflict with your girlfriend or wife.

12) Take her out: Treat her to some fresh air

A stroll in the park or half an hour of day dreaming at your local café can make a world of a difference to your moody girlfriend or wife. Fresh air, sights and sounds of people and places will help her calm her nerves down.

Don't worry about emptying your pockets while going out because this trip does not need to be a glamorous dinner date. A hot cuppa and a patient ear is all you will need to spare.

13) Cuddle up or tuck her into bed: Get her to take some rest

Whether pms related or not, mood swings can be aggravated due to fatigue, frustration or stress. Your partner's mood swings may be on the verge of going from bad to worse if she has not been getting enough rest.

Waking up early and lack of sleep the previous night could be the reason why she has an irritable look on her face when she wakes up in the morning. This could snowball into massive mood swings during the day. Sometimes the easiest fixes to life's troubles lie in the simplest and most basic of all human actions like hugs and cuddles.

Cuddle up with her in your living room or tuck her into bed while watching TV. Watch her bounce back after she has had some rest.

Questions & Answers


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        3 months ago

        I'm through tolerating emotional abuse from women. I moved out during my girlfriend's most recent PMS episode two weeks ago, and I've never felt more liberated. Of course now she's crying for me to come back, and making all kinds of promises. All it took was a phone #, e-mail change, and blocking her on social media and now that problem is solved too. Good riddance. Being alone is definitely better.

      • profile image


        3 months ago

        Be a man, grow some balls and leave.

      • profile image


        4 months ago

        Obviously written by a selfish woman who either doesn't know or doesn't care what affect her childish moods can have on a relationship. She obviously doesn't care about you, so the only solution is to dump her. Tell her exactly why you are leaving, and let her know that you can only be with a mature, responsible woman who has control over her emotions. Then leave, don't turn back, and cut off all communication. That is the only way she will every take responsibility for her actions. Let her make someone else miserable. It's better to be alone than with a moody woman.

      • profile image


        5 months ago

        Just don't simultaneously of her mood...

      • profile image


        9 months ago

        One of the most beta articles I’ve read with rubbish advice, clearly written by a feminist.

      • profile image


        12 months ago

        all these dudes talking about this being horrible advice and "rewarding abuse" and sht is pretty ignorant tbh lol... its not abuse, its having mood swings. and youre not 'bending over backwards,' youre simply being a decent human fcking being...if you cant handle being kind to your loved one in a time when they need you most than youre pretty fckin awful in my eyes lol. if you were feeling bad you know that you would be very grateful for someone loving you and being kind and taking care of you a bit. you sound like children, "its not fair!!!111!!" life isnt fair and relationships arent about fairness, theyre about teamwork. and sometimes your partner needs held a bit. the only problem or 'abuse' that would arise is if your girl wouldnt do things like this for you, or belittles you for being sad, etc. but you can be a decent human and a good boyfriend/partner if you just be more considerate and less selfish. cheers.

      • profile image

        Line drawn here! 

        12 months ago

        So bend over backwards to a point where you snap in half?

        Tolerate abuse to a point where you have to get out of your own home to feel relaxed again?

        Sacrifice everything you are in the vain hope that maybe you'll get back the woman you fell in love with?

        Change the entire dynamic of a healthy relationship into one of pandering to egotistical demands and having to hide to avoid conflict?

        Alternatively, why not address this as a health condition and prescribe medication or treatment accordingly.

        If a man did any of this he'd be viewed as a lunatic and either locked up, dosed up or ostracised from the community, his friends and family!

      • profile image


        12 months ago

        You could try that Chinese thing with needles it's should relax her..

        You know what do they call it,,, um yeah heroin..

      • profile image


        12 months ago

        Rewarding abuse by pampering? Seriously... Ingredients for a severely toxic relationship right there..

      • profile image


        15 months ago

        Horrible article to be honest

      • profile image


        15 months ago

        I refuse to tolerate women's bad moods, if my wife gets in one I just either go do my own thing and tell her not to come anywhere near me until she's cool again, or I leave the house and go to the gym or something. I don't see why I should have to put up with a bad mood, I know we all get into them, but no one should suffer just because you're in a bit of a mood.

      • profile image

        Egelan Solomon,Baragoi Kenya 

        18 months ago

        The advice is substancial to ladies,nevertheless,we can not burden men with hot thoughts of where to run to to avoid increasing the wife's/gfriend's moods.The ladies should learn how to control their mood swings and develop a mechanism of living well with the husband or boyfriend.

      • profile image


        23 months ago

        This is horrible advice. If someone is having mood swings to the point where it is affecting your relationship then they either need to seek a doctor for help or you need to leave the relationship. Unpredictability is not a good characteristic for a relationship and the blame should not be on the actions of the one being harmed by it.

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        Mood swings hmm I am that way sometimes your points are clear and well advised thanks

      • bizna profile image


        5 years ago from NAIROBI - KENYA

        Good tips, i especially love number 11. It works really well.


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