How to Write a Love Letter

Updated on October 10, 2016
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Sadie Holloway is a workshop facilitator who teaches interpersonal communication skills to help people strengthen their relationships.

Has your romantic relationship progressed to a point where you feel like writing a love letter your darling? These tips on writing love letters can help you put your heart and soul into every line.

Sending and receiving a love letter marks a significant milestone in your relationship.

No matter how long you and the recipient of your love letter have been in a romantic relationship, treat the writing of your letter as a special occasion. Here are some style tips for opening and closing your letter.

  • Open your letter with a warm and affectionate greeting, not a casual "Yo! Hot stuff!"
  • Use proper grammar and pay attention to spelling.
  • Don't go overboard with cutesy punctuation.You do not need to 12 exclamation marks at the end of a sentence to convey passion and enthusiasm.
  • Sign your letter with an an affectionate word or phrase. "Sincerely" just doesn't sound right---you're not writing a business letter. Similarly, "Warm regards" seems inappropriate too; it sounds like something you would say to a friend or acquaintance, not the love of your life.

Now you're ready to get to the heart of the matter.

Formal grammar and a thoughtful opening and closing for your letter is only one facet of your letter-writing efforts. What you put into the body of your love note is what your recipient is really yearning to read. Will your writing be earnest and heartfelt? Or over-the-top and overly sentimental? Here are some tips that will help you fill your letter with meaningful flourishes of love and affection.

Weave humor and levity into your letter. Again and again, relationship surveys indicate that a sense of humor is highly attractive to both men and women. You don't have to be a wise-cracking comedian to be funny. Instead, subtle references to inside jokes that you share will establish a sense of playful intimacy.

If you are particularly good at puns and you know that your lover always gets a laugh out of your witty quips, then go ahead and use them in your love letter. But if puns aren't your style, write what feels most comfortable for you.

When it comes to suing humor in your love letter, stop short or sarcasm, even if sarcasm is a regular part of your daily banter. Sometimes sarcastic barbs don't translate well when written down. Why risk having the intent of your love letter misunderstood. Keep your humor warm, gentle, and personal.

Speak truthfully. While hyperbole may seem romantic, try to keep your feet on the ground when you write. Everything you write in your letter should be honest and sincere.You may be madly in love right now, and the truth of the matter is that not all relationships last. Your words may be read again after a break-up. When your lover is in a different frame of mind, your hyped up words may sound phony and manipulative. "Did he really ever love me or was it all some big scam?" she may ask herself if your words sound too good to be true.

Must you use fancy stationary and fountain pens to write a love letter?

Think about your love letter in the same way you would think about getting dressed up for a special date with your sweetheart.Just as you would dress to impress to celebrate a special occasion out with your beloved, you should put the same thought into the quality of the stationary you choose. Ripping a piece of lined paper out of a spiral notebook and writing on it in with a ball point pen isn't the same as writing on a piece of linen paper with a smooth flowing ink stylus. Writing the letter should be a slow and sensuous experience, not a rushed afterthought.

What do you think about love letters that are sent by email?

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Should you write freestyle or do a rough draft of your letter first?

If you are one of those people who has impeccable penmanship and can craft stunning sentence off the cuff, then go ahead and write a single draft of your love letter and mail it as is! But if you're like most people, you'll likely want to work and re-work your letter until it feels just right. And while it's nice to want to write a beautifully polished letter for your sweetheart, don't make your letter too perfect! One of the things that the recipient of your letter likely appreciates about you is that you have imperfections too. It's OK to write neatly, just make sure that your handwriting still has 'you' in it.

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© 2016 Sadie Holloway


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