How to Keep Your Love Alive with Your Boyfriend, Girlfriend, or Spouse
Love is many things. It's both painful and beautiful, burdensome and protective. Most people want it, some people find it, and a few die never experiencing it. This guide will help you keep the love in your life magical, lasting, and extraordinary.
Valentine's Day, in all its commercialized glory, will come and go, but at the end of the day it's just you and your soulmate. If you put time, effort, and love into your relationship, life as a couple will become even more wonderful than it was when you were single.
The most vital elements of happy, committed relationships are:
- An open mind and heart
- A willingness to forgive and work together for a strong, more lasting relationship
Above all, relationships are not easy, but they are absolutely worth the struggle and effort.
Communication: Not Just a High School Class Anymore
Most people know that communication is a vital part of a relationship, but both partners, in their own ways, have trouble actually opening their mouths and talking about their problems. Here are some common issues each gender has with the other.
Guys: How to Understand Your Girlfriend's or Wife's Communication
You may think we talk about anything and everything. How could we possibly have trouble communicating? The truth is, we fear rejection and being alone more than the average guy does. The result is that most girls will talk about everything except what's bothering them most, out of fear of our significant others leaving us or being angry with us.
- The cure: Reassure her that you love her and will not leave her over a fight or relationship issue. At this point, your love should be strong enough to withstand most things, bickering and fighting included. Tell her that all long relationships have fights, and the most important thing is solving problems to avoid building up resentment that could damage the relationship.
- Do not: Tell her she is being irrational for her fears of you leaving. While we know that you mean it in a reassuring sense, that you would never leave her over something so insignificant, she takes it to mean that you don't respect her opinions or emotions, and think she's a silly little girl. Her emotions, while probably irrational, are what she truly feels and, as such, are valid. Treat her with the respect she deserves.
Girls: Stay Close to Your Boyfriend or Husband with Open Communication
Guys feel a constant pressure to perform and compete, and they constantly feel like their ladies are judging them. If they're with you, they think you're the most beautiful, most amazing thing under the sun, but they have trouble constantly reaffirming their affection. To them, what's true is true and does not need to be constantly addressed.
- The cure: Tell them what you want from them. Guys hate guessing games and are not very good at them. If you want something for Valentine's day, have a heart and at least give them some hints, like, "I want flowers, but I want you to pick out what you would most think I would like, and not roses like everyone gets." Praise them, and tell them how much you enjoy it whenever they do something unexpected for you, so they don't have to constantly wonder if you enjoyed what they did, and if they should do it again.
- Do not: Expect them to constantly be thinking about you, every second of the day. The fact that they love you, to them, is so obvious that it doesn't need constant reassessment. Also, girls communicate so much more non-verbally than guys do, but you've got to open your mouth and speak if you want to communicate with your boyfriend/husband. They hardly ever realize something is wrong unless you tell them.
Next time you have a fight or are even upset with your boyfriend or husband, take a step back and see if some of the problem is caused by your two very different communication styles. If you can begin to see where your other half is coming from, that's half the problem resolved already!
Keeping the Magic in Your Relationship: Maintain Intimacy
A common complaint, and one that too many people panic over, is when people incorrectly believe their relationship is failing because that initial rush is gone.
- "The magic just isn't there anymore."
- "He's not the man I fell in love with."
- "When we first dated, my heart beat faster when I saw her. Not anymore."
The common theme in all of these is that things between the two of you just aren't amazing as they used to be. It's not the end of the world, and it is definitely a problem that can be fixed. Using the communication skills highlighted above, you can fix these issues before they become something bigger.
- Keep kissing. Studies show that couples in failing relationships stop kissing each other on the lips long before they stop having sex. In many ways, kissing is much more intimate than sex.
- Do little things for each other. Give her a foot rub after a long day at work. Buy him tickets to a sports game, and pretend you enjoy watching sweaty men run around a field wih a ball. The little ways you show you appreciate each other add up and will bring the romance back into your life.
- Get away from all other distractions. Rent a hotel room for a couple nights or find a cheap getaway cruise for three nights. Chances are, you were just too stressed and distracted to fully appreciate your loved one, and time away from work and duties will remind you of what's important.
- If you need help, seek it. If these things aren't doing it, there's still no reason to become a divorce statistic unless there is truly no other way. Talk to your religious leader, go to a professional counselor—do whatever you need.
You will always regret a failed relationship if you don't truly believe you did whatever you could to fix the problems. If he or she is important enough to you, you will do whatever it takes to make things work. Don't give up! There is always hope.
Inexpensive Ways to Show Your Love
- Go on a picnic, just the two of you.
- Run or walk at a park together.
- Fix your love his or her favorite meal.
- Reminisce about when you first met.
- Ask each other random questions about your childhoods, secret wishes, and hopes.
- Learn how to do something new together.
- Experience being physically close to each other.
- Hold hands in public.
Keeping a Financially Peaceful Household
One huge cause of misunderstandings and fights in relationships is money: how we earn it, how we spend it, and how we save it. It is vital that couples learn that neither should be solely responsible for the relationship's finances. As always, teamwork and mutual respect is the key.
- Decide how important money is to the two of you. Sure, money is convenient, but at what cost? Is having to send the kids to daycare okay? How about never having the time to go on vacations? Time and money are usually a trade-off, so the two of you need to decide where you stand on the issues.
- Decide how to spend the money. Do the two of you have separate checking accounts, or are they shared? Either way can work, but you always need to talk over big purchases together, even if you're paying for it with "your" money. Otherwise, your significant other will not feel respected because you never considered consulting his or her opinion before bringing home that enormous television set.
- Decide how you are going to save money. You both need to get your long-term finances in order. Money conversations are so much less stressful when you know you have money safely saved and in the bank.
Money problems are some of the easiest issues to fix, if you sit down and figure out exactly what you are unhappy about at this moment. Always make money decisions a team effort, and, through your problem-solving, the two of you will grow closer in the process.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
roselvert on September 10, 2014:
True love never explains it speaks from the heart and never ask why.God bless Aaron,you have made my life worth living.i love you
Sumner on March 03, 2014:
My wife and I just recently got married and moved into our own home . I work at night and she works during the day . We'll I recently discovered that the nights I work my wife is staying with her mother and her mother encourages it . It frustrates me and I don't know don't how to discuss it with her. I love my wife and I want her to be happy in our new home . How do go about this situation ?
Salley Sheriff on February 27, 2014:
We have been dating for 8months now this past three month we started fight every now and then anything I say she got a problem with it even if it an opinion she has a problems with it she get mad at and she does not pick up my call when she is made at me and she makes it clear she's not pick my calls . Why do I do to get this relationship back in track ?
let me know ur reply
Celine on January 28, 2014:
I have got a boyfriend and hes very special to me i have been with him 5 months and we have only, kissed oncew only we are very shy and young i am only 14 and him 13 i love and i have told him and Valentine's Day is coming and i don't know what to do with him. what could i do? i haven't seen him in 2 months i am worried about cuase my mum and dad don't know about this.
James king on January 02, 2014:
Hey, I'm a 16 year old boy that's been in a relationship for over 2 and a half years. My girlfriend recently moved schools and I am very worried that this year we will slip from each other. I was just wondering if you had any tips to stop us slipping away from each other? Thank you a lot.
nick lewis on December 25, 2013:
hey ive been having problems with my girlfriend whom ive been in a relationship for 2 years. i have problems being faithful. ive cheated on her before and she got over it after a while then now i screwed up again and she saw on my phone that i was looking at pictures of other girls and i was texting a girl i had an affair with a while back. i feel really down and depressed about it i feel so ashamed of myself and cant move on without her. i love her so much. she wants to try to maybe work it out but im trying not to be pushy. im looking on advice on how to be a more faithful trustworthy man so i can fix my relationship and be married to this girl?
Sasha on December 20, 2013:
me (going 15) and my boyfriend ( 18 ) are fine but WERE APART from each other Im in highschool and he's college we don't care if somebody that im almost his little sis, My problem is HE SPEAKS AND TEXTS MY BFF OFTEN AND MY BFF TELLS ME THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BE JEALOUS I'm a girl too. . My boyfriend is too friendly to girls that im really thinking that WERE NOT TOGETHER :3 I always see him in vacation if we visit there house... He, SO GENTLEMAN that everybody will skip the line and im thinking that he doesn't love me because WERE IN DIFFERENT SCHOOL AND DIFFERENT PLACES
Madz*Mado on December 10, 2013:
Hey, I really like this article it might really help, well I've been with my GF for only 2 months and I already love her so much and am so into her and falling for her more and more everyday. I'm 17 and she's 16 and I think we have a really bright future together.. She's the best thing ever happened to me she's just an angel ;;) thx for that article it will help a lot..
gerald on November 21, 2013:
hanks ver much u've real helped me....
Nano on November 19, 2013:
Hi I'm Namal and I'm 12 and my boyfriend is 13 and we both don't talk to each other face to face about our relationship , he sends me letters everyday and he even gave me presents and I didn't know that he loved me since 3 years and since that day he kept a rise with him and he gave it to me now. He actually gave it to my friend to give me and I actually don't know what to gift him . And the biggest problem is that he is in my school and my sister isn't in my school and she has said many girls to follow me and for that reason I couldn't even talk to him . Can anyone please tell me that what should I do?
nadia on November 18, 2013:
hey i m nadia .i m fall in love with a guy but now he have breakup to me .i cant live without him .plz tell me how can i get him again .i want a relation ship again.plz tell me
Andy on November 09, 2013:
Me and my girlfriend have been together for four years and just like other relationships, we have our ups and downs. We love each other well at least she says she loves me with all her heart. But I used to be very cold to her from my past relationship when we first got together but I made a change after a year with her and started opening up and showing more affection. At that time she had gave up and had gotten into the habit of going out to clubs and hanging with the wrong girls. She basically gave up on us. At the quarter of last year we talked it out and she agreed no clubbing and that we were going to work on us. She clubbing stopped but she laid down that habit with hanging out with family till 3-2 in the mornings on weekends and I feel unloved and abandoned. I explained this to her and she looked surprised that I would say that she doesn't love me but that's how she makes me feel. So now all we do is argue about her being here with me and her response is that I don't want her hanging out which is not true. I just don't want the girl I'm with to not think she can come in when she pleases. Then she says I was the one that started making her get out when all she did was want to be with me and that is true but I changed. How and can I fix this or is this just karma and there is no fixing. I threaten to leave her and she cries and begs me not to and she says it's gonna stop but when every other weekend comes ( when her 2 kids leave for the weekend to go to their daddy's) she does it again and it's the same thing. Help please. She says that she cannot be without me but yet it's like she doesn't even care.
My email is email@example.com
GrownMan on November 03, 2013:
My woman of 4 years and I have been going through a lot of problems recently. Her and I have a 3 year old son together. We've been through plenty of good but also plenty of bad situations... We recently got engaged June 22nd of this year, with plans of an August 2014 wedding. However, as of late, the last month things have went a little differently, I moved out and we have only saw each other a few times since. We still talk on the phone every day. The thing is we've both said things like "I don't want to be with you" or "I'm done" and even cursed each others out. The problem is I still want her, she says she still wants me after all of this. When we kiss I still feel the magic and to my knowledge she does as well, when I see her I still feel the same way about her. Our biggest problem is lack of communication, well proper communication, we've both agreed to go to couples counseling but have yet to go. Has anyone on here been to couples counseling? Please let me know, I want this relationship between her and I to work more than anything. I'm just trying to gain a better perspective of it. Any response would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Amanda Jones on July 08, 2013:
Excellent hub, great tips, useful and interesting.
shashi on June 18, 2013:
hi i want to advise from someone.i met my husband in school time.now we are married couple(3 year).our love affair 12 years came.we are living in dubai.i am doing parttime job and his working hotel.his living with me my accomadation last 2year and six month.but he twise a week going to see his hotel friends and that night he not coming home.he cant stay every day with me i hope his very boring.before he said lies to me he going parttime but later i found photoes with friend party.after that iam asking why u telling lies to me.then he get angry and he pack his stuff and left my place.18 days he is living with friend accomadation.but every day his giving blank call.that 18 days i was very upset.after that he came home but i saw his mobile pictures his full of enjoy that days.now he found god job.he said icant stay home bcoz my work place little far iam going to stay their accomadation.but my friend said here to his work place buses are working.i told to my husband here have some busses please don't go accomadation but he said no i am going to stay their bcoz i want to stay at time in my work place.right now i feel very alonely.his coming home once week.i know his love me bcoz my birthdays his giving always good surprises for me.feel like he love me.but he not triying to stay with me.if iam not calling to his mobile he also not calling me.he don't have a afair with other women.only thing he always like to stay with friends.now 4 days came he went to new accomadation to stay.this days iam feeling very sad.he knows about it.i want to take him again my house how can do? please tell me someone
Diane on December 08, 2012:
Good advice me and my boyfriend are getting better we are opening up to each other and telling the truth about everything that happened in the beginning of our relaionship and it has made us so strong cuz i went from lying to him about my past life to just keeping it real with him big step and change in our relationship im proud of us!!!!
harriet on May 27, 2012:
i have a boyfriend. and he's married.. i love him so much., and i don't know how to go out in this relationship. im so much inlove with him. he always break up with me, bcause of little issue. pls. help me wat im going to do :(
Octavia on May 26, 2012:
Im 16 and my ex-Boyfriend and I are still talking /working on our relationship. I Like him ALOT ... and i want to work it out but I feel like were seperating or our relationship is getting boring.... especially after he found out I was talking to another guy.... even though I want HIM ....He doesn't understand ,he better keep me now or lose me Forever -__-
mr kalz salerua on May 14, 2012:
thanks for the article.... as a young father it helpz me alot....
Cameron on May 14, 2012:
Well..... A lot of the things in here are true but it takes a commitment from both sides of the relationship for it too hold strong... Personally I'm with a wonderful girl right now and I want the relationship to last because I really like her and I know she does the same, she just doesn't how it that well :/ when we are alone she's fine but almost anywhere else theres not much affection towards me and I try my hardest to shower her with love And be with her but It kinda brings me down the way she responds. I'm just not sure what to do anymore, so anyone looking through this for some help or encouragement... Just make sure if you know it's right between you guys, to never give up and don't be afraid to talk it out if you have feel there's and issue. Just keep faith!
eimyaj04 on May 03, 2012:
my boyfriend & i was in a strong relationship until someone started to flirt on him. we are on a long distance relationship & i am bothered since they stay on the same city.my boyfriend tells me that he is not interested with that girl and that she keeps on following after him. i know he's telling the truth because i've heard a lot of feedbacks about that girl.. i just don't have that peace of mind because i know that gir can do anything she wants since i am far from my boyfriend..but i trust him.. it's just that i don't trust her.. @.@
what should i do?
lilnursey on April 27, 2012:
I am 18 my bf is 19 we've been together for 7 months now we ha e a really healthy relationship despite the fact that I have a 1 year old son which he is not the father of we get along so well and enjoys each others company we keep our realtionship strong by expressing overselfs to one another going out to museums and and library's movies carnivals etc this site was really helpful glad I read it I love the fact that my bf and I can have o much fun together work with each other support each others aspirations in life I really do hope we last my son seems to bond with him so his approval is awesome good luck to everybody C+J
Hope on April 24, 2012:
I am 17 and my guy is 18. We have been dating 14 months and I felt I fell in love. From missing him everyday and always talking to him, rarely arguments and when we did it be small. He has been the best boyfriend I ever had, and the sweetest. :) I'm the first girl he's taken to meet his family and image a future with. All great a love him so much a wanted the same as he did. .... Yet now I dont know why but I feel I don't love him... He's always been more immature yet now it ticks me off. It hurts me to say but I'm way smarter and mature than him. I guess I lost hope he's ever gonna be more mature or smarter.... :'/ I wanna try make it work but I find it so hard.... To the point I kinda turn away from his kisses.. :( is there hope? Or am I dwelling on a lost cause here??
Hope on April 23, 2012:
I am 17 and my guy is 18. We have been dating 14 months and I felt I fell in love. From missing him everyday and always talking to him, rarely arguments and when we did it be small. He has been the best boyfriend I ever had, and the sweetest. :) I'm the first girl he's taken to meet his family and image a future with. All great a love him so much a wanted the same as he did. .... Yet now I don't know why but I feel I don't love him... He's always been more immature yet now it ticks me off. It hurts me to say but I'm way smarter and mature than him. I guess I lost hope he's ever gonna be more mature or smarter.... :'/ I wanna try make it work but I find it so hard.... To the point I kinda turn away from his kisses.. :( is there hope? Or am I dwelling on a lost cause here??
Gibson on April 15, 2012:
Me and my have been together 1yr and 1month, we lost kissing at all and all the times we fight. I always try to solve the problem but she always ignore the problem. I feel confuise. I feel lost. GAP
firstname.lastname@example.org on April 13, 2012:
I've been living with my love 2 years...I am not married and never have been. Think it. Could be. I knew I could always run away.....but the 2 years has been. All the stuff I would have left for........her problems. Never stop'so they are my thing too.... I do let her. Run stuff. And serve her dinner every nite...I do all the stuff I have read and seen work....plus I,m. Getting to old to run any more. But. I need her. To keep me in line.and that makes her need me even more
HI State on March 11, 2012:
Me and my girl friend been together for 5 months . After The first month i moved in with her and skipped The whole miss each other stage . Coming into The relationship she new i had a kid From someone else but always argues with me about it besides that are relationship is fine but she says The only way that she'll get over it is to leave me and thing is that my kid lives in another state
Chazza on March 06, 2012:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months and in 2 months we are getting married, its quick i know but we have our reasons and it feels right. However his sisters are very against it, they are always giving off sly ,sarcastic comments and it hurts us both. We have spoke to them in a respectful manner and yet they continue.
I wish there was a way to make them see that they are being unacceptable and for us to block out they're crap and carry on being happy.
I have been in a lot of relationships and never thought it was possible to find someone so tuned into my sense of humor and thoughts. He is everything I had been looking for and I don't want to ever let him go.
Bianca on December 31, 2011:
I wasn't sure if there was such thing as a "loss of magic/love" phase. I thought it was just me and I was beginning to worry. But thanks to this article, it reassured me that it can be fixed and that there is no reason to break up because of what I'm feeling. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 1 yr and a half and I was getting worried if we lost the magic and if we should take a break. But now I see that I can try these things and hopefully they will work. Thank you.
Grace on December 29, 2011:
its a nice feeling when your in love and both shares the dreams in life,No matter how miles you've been through,as long as there is TRUST..I love you Chris
zary on October 30, 2011:
Hi I'm Zary...I've been living with my childhood sweetheart and now we are currently in a relationship for 3 years now..stable. We have two children a girl and a boy which I would say that I am very proud of. But suddenly, last night, I came home from work and saw him drunk and sleeping in our room. I asked him why he was like that and he replied "you have nothing to do with it". I sent him a message earlier that day because our children are not with us at the moment and was with his parents for vacation. When her mother informed me that the children are unwell. I rushed and sent him a message that we need to send money for the children so I went home early that day. But when I checked his wallet was empty and he said "don't I have the right to spend my money"...so I got offended and tried to tell him about the situation why I asked him about our savings. He got mad and destroyed some of our belongings..That moment he yelled bad things to me and even hurt me..I love him but it seems like I'm the only one sharing LOVE in our relationship. I'm trying to do my best to save our relationship and this forum really helped me.
eric on October 22, 2011:
ok what i want to know is how can i fix my relationship you see i love my girl friend and i took her back after she cheated on me and she yells at me tons but in the end she says can we forget this day ever happened but it seems like she just lost the love
hpna on October 15, 2011:
me and my bf were both youngsters and we had so much more to do in our life than thinking about each other every second. i love him, he does too. im growing up to make our relationship last and hub has help me to think wider about us.
Daddy Paul from Michigan on September 24, 2011:
This hub is one of the best I have read on the subject. Many of the hubs on this are pure crap. This hub is really though out. I find only one thing to disagree with "Also, girls communicate so much more non-verbally than guys do"
As a general rule perhaps. I have seen many women who have no clue what non verbal communication is.
That said this is a wonderful hub!
Dakota on September 24, 2011:
I have been dating this girl for about 2 months and a half and she has already told me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. But we have a lot of fights and we get mad at each other and I know we both love each other. But I call myself names in the relation ship and I think all this negative thoughts and I don't know how to get rid of them. Like if a guy looks at her I will think "What if he tries to take her?" and I think "What if she cheated on me?" and I don't know how to get them away
Nicole Fanman on September 22, 2011:
Wow.. this is really good help... My And my Boyfriend Defetly nedd this.. i love him and i know he loves me. thank you GUYS.
Tanya on September 15, 2011:
I've been dealing with my boyfriend since 2005, in the beginning everything was great, I was sooo in love. We were talking about marriage the following year. We moved together in 2008 and from there, things have been horrible. He has an ex girlfriend that just does not seem to go away, she also has a daughter who he claims but shes not his biological child. I've never met the ex or her daughter, which is making our relationship hard to get thru. What am I suppose to do?? I tell him all the time about this situation but nothing seems to change.
Chanaka on September 05, 2011:
I love you so much Hansani.You are my life.
joyce on August 21, 2011:
i m 4yrs old in marriage with one chill i love my husband so much and he also loves me. but now he is in love with another women, when i ask him about that women he got anoit and he don't talk with. what can i do?
Annon on August 14, 2011:
This article has inspired me to no end, my boyfriend and I have a stable relationship and are still very passionate. However, during these troubled times we suffered a set back in that the company he worked for declared bankrupt and in turn he was left unemployed. This put tremendous amounts of stress on our relationship and I found it hard to communicate with him. I felt guilty for been angry ans so kept quiet which led to an outbirst fuelled by bottling things up, after many tears on both sides we discussed everything and are now stronger than ever, we are very much in love and although our problems occurred before this article had been written, I hope that this anecdote serves as a reminder that love can last, it's not easy but the hard times make the good so much better.
arya on June 06, 2011:
I was so happy with this article. love it very very difficult, a time when we really love a woman. when we begin to organize and maintain a state of life. but sometimes when we lose someone we love,
I have a word maybe you can use when you're depressed,
I love making my experience beajar a lot about life. I've done everything in the article above before I read this article. but everything is gone, in my opinion a good way of keeping love between couples. should be able to open our hearts, when we fall in love, and when we left behind love.
thanks perhaps no article topic. but I share my experiences.
cad19 on May 23, 2011:
this article gives me so many advice on how keep a relationship much closer and longer..and also it gives me courage to love my boyfriend more and more. actually were not together because were already college and we don't have same school, so its harder for us to see each other and also communicate cuz i know we'll be more busy in our studies. and so i will miss him so much especially when there are times when i needed him the most. but i'm still hoping that our rel. will last i know it will happen as long as we love each other. even if its hard for us not to see each other everyday..i know God will find us way and will not stop in writing our love story :) i love him so much and no could replace him in my heart.
Sun-Girl from Nigeria on May 05, 2011:
Interesting article which am strongly in support all you said about love especially on "Love is many things. It's both painful and beautiful, burdensome and protective". yeah, so many people who actually want love will definitely live and die without it,all because of some minute mistakes they make about love.Nicely shared hub,thanks.
sn53Anon from Huntsville, AL on April 23, 2011:
Thirty-three years of marriage. We are still best friends still. She still laughs at my jokes. Here are my rules and my action. First. If you are a man marry a women who is smarter than you are. Second. Make sure she thinks she is in charge. Third. Make sure she is actually in charge. Fourth. Make great coffee. Serve her every day.
Waleed on March 16, 2011:
I found it very helpful, it is very good, iam in a relationship and going through the worst period, we fight almost everyday and the issue is only one that she does'not give me enough time and attention, she stays busy all day and return back homw tired and sleeps early, hardly any discussion takes place between us, i have asked here many times and told her what i need from her, but i think she don't care much about it... still i feel she loves me,. iam very deprsed, i did evrything for her, gave her all my love and respecr but still she is not ahppy with me, what should i do now?
Janet on March 09, 2011:
Wow, thanks, i've already started working on my relationship in a positive way and things are good but i'm gonna enjoy doing it more with the reassurance of your advice.
May on February 17, 2011:
Most of this is common sense.
I've been with my husband for six years. We met in high-school when I was sixteen. Have never broken up, no children and are currently in college. Our secret is in fact, no secret at all, it is quite simply communication and maturity. Most relationships that I've seen end, are the result of miscommunication or simple childlike ignorance. If a relationship is to work, both parties must be on the same page.
missbossladii on February 09, 2011:
meh an my fiance' has been together for almost two years an we have a 7month old son together but we fight all the time now. i think its because of his friend. we promised each other that no matter what we go thru we can fix it but when we fight its like we giving up and our love isn't there anymore. what should i do plz email me @ email@example.com.... i think his problem is that he wants to but he think his friends think its a problem an he try to please everyone but himself
zi on February 02, 2011:
Hi my name is zizi
i have went overseas in 07 and i met a guy there,i was 20 back then . we were just staring at each other's eyes for few mins without no words then we snaped out of it. Then we exchange numbers .
after i came from overseas, he started to msg me love msgs we talked few times on the phone and we got along well . Then i don't know what had happen , those love msgs had stoped and phone calls has stoped . and if i call him he says his busy and if i msg him he don't reply me. so i decide to go overseas again and i have told him . he asked me to come and see him. i did see him and he saw me again after 4 yrs. he was changed . but i loved him from inside of me and i cried alot every night. Then i said why cant you say that you love me . he said no i will not say it . i asked why , he said becoz if i said it you will feel relaxed and i don't want you to be relaxed. Every second i think of him. i keep on remembering his looks and acts and i cant forget him . i promised myself even if i couldn't be with him i will live the rest of my days with the memories i had with him. please can anyone help me what i should do . thanks . and sorry for the long letter
Jessica on November 21, 2010:
Nah, I suggest choosing your arguments. Don't let yourselves fight over 'nothing'. If it's important to you, fight for it. If it's really 'nothing' try to be the bigger person and attempt to say something like Are we really arguing about this and just walk away. Sometimes people fight because there looking for attention try showing him you care with little things like a kiss to the forehead randomly [when you guys are cooled down] Tell him you love him more, kiss him more. Try to do something different, like dinner, movie, walk whatever you guys use to do.
nay on November 17, 2010:
me and my boyfriend always agrue about everything an we live together... i feel like he never sees my point of view. wen we agrue we don't talk to eahother for days and i hate living like that. i don't know if i love him the same way i did when i was sixteen.i known him since i was sixteen and im 22 yrs old. and he is 28 yrs old. what do i do
Jessica on November 16, 2010:
I just turned 18 I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. The first 6 months we had NO issues ever. Never fought, it was truly a fairy tail. As we continue. We've been arguing on and off and when we do, it seems to lead up to a break up. I know we love each other, I mean we've been there through times, and his family loves me, and I really so love them. But he broke up with me on my birthday, and then asked to talk the next day. He says he gets stressed and needs space and that he got so overwelmed that he didn't know what to do. When this are good, this are really good. But, when things are bad there really bad. He works, goes the gyms trains in fighting, he never has time for me. I know he's faithful, but lately it seems he just doesn't care. I don't want to give up but it's getting so hard because I feel I'm the only one in the relationship that makes the real effort, what do I do how should I react without blowing up on him?
Kaylie97 on October 23, 2010:
Im a 12 year old girl, I have a 14 year old boyfriend.(together for 4 months) We've broke up 5 times and got back together 6 times. We love eachother, and we do show it in ways that we shouldn't yet. My friends say we should stay together, but his friends think we shouldn't. He always gets mad at me for stuff I do even though I don't, he just hears it from his friends and never comes to me first. But when he cools down we go back to loveing eachother, and are happy as ever till it all just happens agaiin. What should I do?
Kaylie97 on October 23, 2010:
I Personaly Think you should stay with the longtime girlfriend! Tell the collegue that you already have your hands full and theres another woman in them, shell understand
Marjmar on October 13, 2010:
I am so confused, I have an almost 5years girlfriend at home and I think falling inlove to my collegue at work.!!.I love being always with her all the time...
Whom should I choose? My longtime girlfriend or my new one now.??.
on October 01, 2010:
I'm sooo in love, and the relationship just started! But I really want to keep our relationship going in the future so this will really help... Thanks!!
risha on September 25, 2010:
i learned a lot on this article, specially now that i got married. although their are times that me and my husband got fight especilly when it comes to financial but later on we talk and settle it..this article really work for me..
melissa on September 20, 2010:
i'm 17 and i have been with my boyfriend for a year and 4 months (on and off). we have a baby together and i feel like i love him to death. im not sure what love is, but i sure do feel different with him, eventhough we've been through many ups and downs i never want to be without him. i try my best not to hurt him and have a healthy relationship, but he seems to always mess up. i know he is a guy and they seem to get tempted easily. i've messed up in our relationship too. we fight every day about the same thing, and when we're mad we say things we don't really mean. i'm afraid we wont be able to get through our mistakes together. HELP!
Candice on August 28, 2010:
Thank you for this article! Its full of great advice and will help for sure!
Terrah on August 27, 2010:
My bf is kinda not in to it but today i asked him out he said sure ya what's sould i do?
luver94 on June 13, 2010:
i love my bf weve been together for almost a yr and we have sparks flying still even tho we fight ... we have the magic.. we have the essence of love carrying us for each time we kiss its like the frst
tr3 on June 10, 2010:
MEH AND MY GIRLFRIEND ARE 15 YEARS OLD I KNO ITS YOUNG AND EVERY1 SAYZ WE DNT KNO WAT LOVE IS BUT WE BOTH KNO WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER WITH ALL OUR HEARTZ AND WE WONT AND NOT GONNA LEAVE EACH OTHER BUT WHEN WE ARGUE ITS LIKE SHE SAYS EVERYTHING AND I JST LISTEN AND WALK OFF OR DNT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY AND NOT ONLY IT HURTS HER BUT IT HURTS MEH WHEN SHE SAYS I DNT KARE AND I DNT LOVE HER AND I JST WANT TO FIX IT KUZ I WANT MEH AND HER TO LAST 4EVER!!! SEND TO MY EMAIL PLZ IF U KAN HELP MEH AND DHIS RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE 2GETHER I HAVE 2 EMAILS firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com one has a zero in the dogg part and the other jst has an o plz i begg of u help meh i really want this
steve on June 07, 2010:
I don't think you are necessarily correct with your assessment of men's feelings towards the woman in their life, or keeping the magic there. I always want to be told that they love me, and I always make an effort to buy gifts I think they would like, because I pay attention and listen to them. The key is, if you find they are not listening to you, then they are not interested in you. It's really that simple. Why try to kiss and do all those things if the spark is no longer there, never force anything onto anyone, let them make that decision, and if that is that they are no longer interested in you, then find someone else. This is the best advice here, don't listen to the woman that wrote this article, she is clueless like the rest.
and for the record, I constantly think about her.
Ribbin on May 05, 2010:
Taylor, take it easy. All relationships go through that phase where one partner is more stressed out then the other. What matters is how you both handle it. Before you get home, sit in your car or bus stop or even outside of your door and take a couple minutes to reassess yourself. Why are you so stressed? Is it his fault? Can you TALK and COMMUNICATE your problems to him without them sounding like he's the problem? All these factor in, and if a guy is mistaking your ranting about your day for ranting about him, he's going to close off even more. There is a fine line between blowing up and venting. And better yet, if he doesn't want to hear it, call a friend and vent instead. He'll be more apped to listen when you're calm.
Taylor on May 05, 2010:
me and my boyfriend austin are very in love with each other. i love him with all my heart but we seem to be fighting more and more everyday. I seem to become meaner and meaner. i say things i really don't mean when we fight and i feel like hes pulling away. i need him in my life. Hes my bestfriend in the whole world. I just have allot of stress going on right now with graduation, parents, school, how im going to pay for things, my future, me and him, and getting a job. im hardly ever in a good mood except for when im with him and he never understands why im always moody. i need advice on what to do. i want to quit yelling at him. i make time for him. i know he loves me. he knows i love him. i just feel like im loosing the best thing thats ever happened to me.
~coughs name~ on February 25, 2010:
you hear that baby? im not giving up on you!
Jessica on January 27, 2010:
I love this. I am only 18 with a little over a year relationship with my age 19 boyfriend but I am 1 month away from marriage. My boyfriend do half of these things but not all. It helps to understand that he wants to know if I like the things he does and stuff like that, because I always used to wander why he was so quick to think that I wasn't satisfied with him. I will start to let him know what I love so much about everything. And I have noticed that I still get butterflies when we have our middle of the night kissing sessions and he loves it so it makes since how that could be so intimate. We know we're young, but this kind of love is definitely different from the others and our families think we are so perfect. Really like this article.
brittanyc (author) from Houston, Texas on January 24, 2010:
Alana, I'm certainly no expert, but I would say that if you are unhappy with how he treats you - #1, sit him down and talk to him about your concerns and #2 - be ready to walk away if he blows you off or acts like he doesn't care. You're young enough that you have decades to find the perfect guy...don't stick with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
alana on January 23, 2010:
Hi my name is alana and i am in high school i am 12 years old going to be 13 i know i am young but i am in a relation ship with this boy we fight sometimes but get over it we never talk in school and he never walks me home and he talks to girls right in front my face like im not there is this a sign that we should break up i really love him and i never wanna lose him and when i ask him questions on the phone he skips them and askes me different stuff like he is hiding something or couldn't find an acceptable lie to tell me about it i feel bad and depressed i feel unsatified and i our communication is not so strong again when i say i love him he just says you tooo
Niamh on November 30, 2009:
I found this very helpful. It gives me hope that things will work out. I especially like the line where it says " if he or she is important to you, you will do whatever it takes to make things work".
scheng1 on November 30, 2009:
very wise advice about money. Since money problem is one of the causes of quarrel, it is best to discuss and talk about money openly.
Fefe response on October 19, 2009:
my boyfriend and i do too except i do what your boyfriend does. I get mad and angry like that when I am stressed out and I feel like i'll never be able to handle the stress. the funny thing is, i love him and his family too.
FEFE on September 23, 2009:
WOW ME AND MY BOYFRIEND GET IN FIGHTS ALOT HE SAYS HE isn't him when he's mad and sometimes he yells and calls me things he doesn't mean i know it sounds bad but the good times i love and i know him deep down also i know his family too. i love him
she on September 08, 2009:
article reassured me that there is hope, and the relationship is not over yet. it can be fixed
me on May 10, 2009:
I already do a lot of this but a lot more of it is good info
dksjfhskjfh on February 17, 2009:
this is love