Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. Let his trial and error be your success (hopefully).
Many times, our partner's minds may seem like a mystery to us. Luckily, if your partner is a guy, then keeping your boyfriend happy is a lot simpler than you might think.
For the most part, men have a few essential needs in a relationship, and if you make sure to fulfill those needs, they'll have few complaints. Will this keep him interested forever? Well, there are no guarantees in life, but you will certainly be bending things in your favor if you follow the tips below:
5 Tips for Keeping Your Man Happy
- Have sex with him.
- Know when to leave him alone.
- Accept and celebrate your differences (and stop wishing he was somebody else).
- Forgive him easily and let go of guilt tactics.
- Learn to appreciate the things he loves.
1) Have Sex With Him
This is #1 because, seriously, it is #1 in his mind (for most guys). Out of all of the ways to keep him happy, this one will get you the most mileage. In fact, many men will be perfectly happy if you just do this one and ignore the rest.
You get extra points if you find ways to make the sex interesting, too. Don't be afraid of variety. If he wants to try something new, humor him. Wear some impractical lingerie. Heck, wear some latex if that's what he's into. Try new positions that require enhanced flexibility. Try anything that makes it more exciting and that you have no objection to.
Variety is key. Guys who look elsewhere for their jollies are often just looking for variety. Make things interesting at home and you'll be more likely to keep his attention on you.
More importantly, what most guys want is for you to be into it. That's all. More than the whips and handcuffs, what really gets us going is that you want it as badly as we do. Show your enthusiasm overtly and you will make your boyfriend very happy.
If you can give a man what he wants in bed, then you're 80% of the way there. The rest of the suggestions below might be necessary to the equation, but he'll do without them for longer if they're missing. If the sex part isn't there, though, he'll start to lose interest pretty quickly.
"Guys who look elsewhere for their jollies are often just looking for variety. Make things interesting at home and you'll be more likely to keep his attention on you."
2) Know When to Leave Him Alone
One thing that can make a guy lose interest is if his girlfriend is smothering him. While spending time together as a couple is important, you can't always be together.
Some women have a tendency to guilt their boyfriends into calling them every day or spending every night together. While this can be especially common in the early stages of a relationship, it's not necessarily healthy. If he wants to go out with his buddies one night, or if he needs large periods of alone time to feel centered, respect that.
Try not to be offended. If you're proactive about it and offer to give him space, that's even better because he'll feel less guilty asking for it. This is how to keep a man interested in a genuine way—through his own free will.
3) Accept and Celebrate Your Differences (And Stop Wishing He Was Somebody Else)
Your boyfriend is different from you, no doubt. If you were exactly the same in every way, you probably wouldn't be attracted to each other.
Read More From Pairedlife
So why force him to watch your favorite movie (that he hates) with you? Why complain about how he doesn't remember your friends' names? Why be bothered that he never notices what you're wearing?
He is different from you. This is a good thing. Many times people will get into relationships and not recognize this. Instead, they spend great effort attempting to make the other person more like themselves. Many women unconsciously try to turn their men into women, criticizing the way they think, what they say, or the way they see the world.
On the other hand, if you can take a step back and appreciate your differences, he'll feel lucky to have you. You will make your boyfriend happy in a way few other people can because you won't be trying to make him into something he's not. The key to trust in a relationship is feeling that the other person accepts you for who you are.
4) Forgive Him Easily and Let Go of Guilt Tactics
Some people use guilt as their main method of persuasion. This is nothing more than a manipulation tactic, though.
It's far too often that the various women in a man's life will use guilt to get him to do what they want. Whether it's his mother trying to convince him to call her every day, or his sister asking him about why he doesn't visit more often, or his girlfriend complaining that he never listens, it can get tiring to be assaulted with people's expectations.
If you want to make your boyfriend happy, be a voice of forgiveness in his life instead of guilt. If he accidentally forgets your anniversary, don't hold it against him. If he doesn't have the cash to take you to a fancy place for your birthday, let it go.
Now, this doesn't mean that you should sit there quietly seething. By all means, speak up and address your issues. However, do it from a place of understanding if you can. Don't try to manipulate him with guilt. Be quick to forgive him for honest mistakes instead of bringing them up six months later during a fight.
It's easy to tell yourself, "Well he shouldn't be this way," or complain that he should have done this or he should have done that. Part of being a forgiving person is letting go of the "shoulds" and letting your boyfriend be who he is without judgement.
Of course, if he does something unacceptable, then maybe it makes sense to dump him. This doesn't mean that you can't dump him with forgiveness, though. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go. If you find that you always have to guilt him into doing what you want, then maybe you should be together anyway.
5) Learn to Appreciate the Things He Loves
Even if you have different interests and hobbies, there's always something to appreciate about someone else's passion. Show your boyfriend this. Go the extra mile and learn about the things he's interested and try to understand what he sees in them.
It's easy to dismiss sports, or stamp collecting, or electronics, or whatever as boring and pointless, but try to see things from his perspective. Even if you can't, there are probably things in your life that you really care about and you can probably relate in that way at least.
Explore new hobbies with him. Go to places that he's always wanted to go. Try something he really likes, at least once. Who knows? You might even find that you like it yourself.
There's No Magic Formula
At the end of the day, following the above tips will help keep your relationship healthy and will probably make your boyfriend happy. Still, if you have problems in spite of all these efforts, it could be that there's some deeper problem lurking underneath.
Keeping a man interested shouldn't be that hard. If it is, then this points to possible inherent incompatibilities between the two of you. You might be trying to force a relationship to happen when you're too different or you're headed down different life paths.
It could also be that you're overthinking things too much. Take a step back and try to enjoy the relationship for what it is. Very few things will make your boyfriend more happy than having a girlfriend who is content with the present moment.
Questions & Answers
Question: My boyfriend is always moody, and sometimes he swears at me. I just keep quiet because I respect him. What can I do?
Answer: Sure, YOU respect him, but why doesn't HE respect you?
I don't know your situation, but he sounds like a jerk. There's not a whole lot you can do in that case except move on to someone who actually will treat you well. People like that exist. Don't let anyone treat you badly; it's better to be alone than in a crappy relationship.
Question: I do everything my boyfriend asks of me as well as keeping my mouth shut. I’ve been told to keep my mouth shut and just listen and do as told. I do just that, but he has these mood swings and when he is upset or stressed he yells at me and gives me more job duties, or he tells me what I can do to better myself, but in ugly ways. Is this normal?
Answer: No. This is not normal or healthy. If what you're saying is true, it sounds like you're in an abusive relationship. Consider getting out of it immediately, and if you're too scared to leave him, call someone you trust to be there when you break up. No one deserves to be treated that way.
© 2017 Jorge Vamos