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How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man

Updated on October 28, 2016
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Advice for Dating a Married Man

You may not have set out to fall in love with a married man, but there are times in life when even the most intelligent women find their emotions getting the better of them. Loving and dating a married man can be extremely painful and seldom works out well.

But this article is not intended to judge anyone or tell you to "just dump him!" This article will openly and honestly describe what the typical experiences and outcomes are in these relationships so that you may be more prepared, educated, and informed about what you should expect, and how to handle it.

Here's my best advice and things to remember:

  1. Remember that his first priority will always be his children and his wife, no matter what he says.
  2. If he lied to you in the beginning about whether or not he was married, you should seriously consider whether or not you can trust him.
  3. Do not sacrifice everything for him. Be independent. Go on dates with other men. Have other hobbies. He's not giving up everything for you, so you shouldn't give up everything for him either.
  4. Your relationship will change if he divorces his wife for you. It will not all be fun and games anymore.
  5. Make your relationship worth your time. Ask him to support you financially, or at least make sure you're getting as much out of it as you're putting in. Don't let him take advantage of you.
  6. Be honest with yourself. What you're doing is risky. Own up to the risk.
  7. Very likely, he will not leave his wife for you.
  8. No matter what he says, he's still having sex with his wife. Don't let your relationship with him keep you from seeing other people.

How many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? Now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man?

Women need to think and act the way men do to find happiness.

Questions to Ask

There are issues to seriously consider if you think that this man may be the one.

  • One of the first things to consider is this: Did he tell you he was married from the beginning or did he lie to you and then have to tell the truth? This will be a major factor as to whether or not you can ever trust him.
  • Another thing to give some serious thought to is whether children are involved. No matter how much he loves you, he is obligated to his children, and if you come between him and the kids, he may resent you in the long run.
  • Is your relationship strong enough to withstand the turmoil of a divorce? How long have you been seeing this guy? One year is about right when it comes to shifting from playing around to getting serious.
  • Right now you may be experiencing the best of the best, but when you are living in the real world together, things will change.
  • Moreover, if he divorces his wife for you, the two of you will go through a lot of sad, and trying times together. Will you still love him as much as you do while things are nothing but fun?

Tips for Women in Love With a Married Man

Don't Sacrifice Yourself for Him

Women need to think and act the way men do to find happiness. How many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? Now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man?

Men never put their relationships first. At least moderately successful men don't. That is why they are happier than women are. Women have a tendency to meet a guy and then focus their entire lives on him. They will stop thinking about attending school or put business plans on hold after meeting someone who sweeps them off their feet.

This is a bad idea even if the guy is not married. But if he is, you have truly just shot yourself in the foot because you have given up a piece of yourself for a someone who belongs to another. You will become more and more resentful over time.

Look at your lover boy for what he is and control your emotions. If he is obviously lying to you to keep you available to him, consider if the relationship is worth your time or not.

Leverage Your Relationship

If he can somehow help you in life by making you more successful, paying your bills, or buying you a home, then you have gotten something to show for your time.

Be Truthful to Yourself

It's a matter of being honest with yourself. If he is married and has no intention of leaving his wife, then he may have been dating many women over the years. Usually when a man has this pattern, he dates the woman until she begins to expect more out of him. Then, he dumps her, finds another woman to sleep with before getting rid of her when she gets tired of being a doormat.

The truth is, a guy will string you along as long as you will let him. It's up to you to look out for yourself and avoid being taken advantage of.

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Flickr CC BY 2.0 | Source

Rules for Extramarital Affairs: Make It Worth Your Time

Ask yourself this question: "What am I getting out of dating a married man?" If you are not getting anything, you should ask the man to make the affair worth your time financially or move on. I am not being judgmental here. But if your guy plays with you for free and then goes home to his wife and plays the husband while you sulk, you are only torturing yourself and being a hooker who works for free. To be wise and economical, it's time to ask your "boyfriend" to help you out financially. This way when the time comes that you are not together anymore, at least he helped you pay your mortgage.

Before you go off on a rant about how expecting or wanting money or gifts is prostitution and that it's all about the love here, remember that dating a married man is not exactly moral either. The difference here is at least you are not being raked over the coals as you would be if you simply smile and put out like a good girl.

You must be realistic here and accept that what you are involved in is risky in many ways. One of the things that often destroys women in your situation is the shock of suddenly being dumped because of something that is happening in his marriage, or because of stress that you are causing him at home. Believe me, when this happens, having that extra money invested will lead you to think, "At least I got something out of it." And that is much better than the feeling of having been walked all over.

I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all.

I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say.

A Real Story of Dating a Married Man

For nine years, my friend Darleen dated a man who was married and now regrets it. Her man told her that he loved her but because he had two children with his wife, he could not leave her. He also said that he no longer slept with his wife, but that they had an understanding. Darleen would tell me that if he could leave his wife for her, he certainly would and that her man often showed great concern for whether or not she was cheating on him.

Love Is Blind

Yes, love is blind. I found myself angry quite often as I told Darleen that if he loved her he would divorce his wife rather than play this game with her. Poor Darleen had excuses for everything. She got on her high horse by stating that if a man has kids he can't leave. I happen to have known several highly moral men who divorced their wives even though they had two or three kids. After the divorce, they took care of their children at least half of the time.

The truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you. If he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important. Or not important enough.

If He Really Loved You . . .

I know that your ego does not want to accept that fact but put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. If you were with a man who you were not having sex with and who you did not love, and you had this man on the side who you truly did love and had a great connection with, would you be content to go home to the man you did not really want, knowing that your lover is single and could easily find someone who is available for him full time?

The thought of it probably sends you into a cold sweat.

Men are concerned with having their woman all to themselves. It is actually proof of disinterest on his part if he does not care who you are with and what you are doing.

If he sees you as a valuable woman, he will know that other men are after you, and he will want to make sure that he gets you before someone else does.

Making Excuses

Darleen made excuses for her married lover for years, and she believed him when he told her that he could not stand his wife and never touched her. After listening to her talk about their intimate discussions, I figured out that her lover had caught on to the fact that Darleen seemed to accept him going home to his wife as long as he and his wife were no longer sleeping together.

Things got a little tricky when his wife suddenly became pregnant. Darleen worked in a building across the street from her lover's wife and was able to spy on her every so often. Darleen's guy informed her that his wife had been bugging him for years to have another baby, and he finally gave in. Not that they were sexual or anything—he explained that in order to touch her, he had to get drunk. The wife had marked the calendar for the day when she was fertile, and they did it just that once in order to have a baby.

The lies can be clever and convincing, but I always say, "Assume that the man is lying until you are engaged, married, or something close." If he is cheating on his wife, he has displayed to you that he is willing to lie, and you have no way of knowing how far he will go.

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Flickr CC BY 2.0 | Source

Should You Be "Faithful" to a Married Man?

If he seems content to let the relationship go on for years as it is, you should see that he is using you for some fun on the side. So, by all means, date other men. Remember, it's not cheating on your part because he is married.

What Cheating Means

I hear that one a lot. The married guy says, "Don't cheat on me." Unless he is separating from his wife, you are free to do as you please and you should. Otherwise, you will find yourself rejected by your married lover and you will be left alone. Date on the side to keep yourself from becoming too attached to this man and to keep reality in perspective.

When Darleen finally listened to me and began to see other men, her viewpoint changed dramatically. Her married lover began to only see her for sex. They were meeting in hotels and were meeting in his car after work. Darleen was not even getting a meal out of it. Sometimes they would go to a bar and have a few drinks and then go to his car.

What a waste of her time.


When she began putting her photo on dating sites, she felt more powerful because she could see that there were a lot of other guys out there. Some of these guys took her to exciting places, bought her nice gifts, and even offered her spending money.

What's the best cure for a man? The answer is another one! When you have a man abusing your emotions, don't feel guilty about seeing what else is out there.


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    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      hmm...whether the man is married or not, a lot of men do like to play mind games, and of course they like to string many women along at the same time. It is very hard to find one that is honest, matured, and grown up. I believe there are some, but you have to be really careful these days.

    • profile image

      JK Burnham 3 years ago

      My boyfriend left his wife and I am SO happy. He will marry me, i'm sure of it!!!! I divorced my husband for him. I hope he won't cheat on me like he did with his wife! LOLZ

    • profile image

      levertis steele 2 years ago

      Poor Darlene! Some lessons are hard, but necessary.

      I once had a friend like Darlene. Her married boyfriend said to her, "You love me now, but one day you will hate me." She was too blindly in love to get it, so she assured him of her undying love. He also told her that he and his life slept in separate bedrooms, and she believed it. Eventually, she opened her eyes to reality and was angry and regretful.

      My friend eventually met and married another man, but, sadly, she continued her practice of dating married men who used her as a side. Her husband left her after he discovered her infidelity.

      For obvious reasons our lives split into different directions, and I do not know what happened to her. Yet, every now and then, I wonder.

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      Seqoya -Spartanburg SC 2 years ago

      Darlene's story is almost similar to mine, except I didn't know my boyfriend was married. I met him at the first job I had finally got, where I was in the prime of my life and in the path of building my career. I made a stupid decision of putting all my trust in a man. I admit I had got lured in by all the things a girl wanted to hear. He did almost the things a boyfriend does in a relationship. He picked me up for work because we worked at the same job, we went out to eat, and just spent time together. But I did however ignore all the signs that he was hiding something. He never introduced me to his family. When we did spend time together it was always at my apartment, he never took me to his place. Women and other people at work would randomly come up to me and tell me something about the things he would say to them and about him and other woman. But he always had an excuse/lie for everything. He would tell me that "my family is not like yours so I don't want you to meet them just yet", or when I would ask why we wouldn't go to his place he would say things pertaining to him basically being ashamed of where he lived. And when I asked why were these random people coming to me telling things about him and other women he would say "they just jealous of us or they only tell you that because they like you" because some men would come tell me things too. After I finally found out about this man, I had went through 3 jobs, moved out of my apartment, had to go back to my moms house, gave all my money to him when I would feel sorry for him in the times when he ran out, I waisted almost 2 years of my life. I should have known and I actually did know in the beginning, that things would never work. I was prophecied to at one time about certain events that would take place in my life. I Ignored the fact that he was 36 and I was 28, which he told me he was 30 when we first met, guess he was just looking for some young girl to fulfill the need his older wife couldn't provide for him. But how I found out that my boyfriend was married, should have been the first place I looked. I ca almost bet it probably would have saved me those 2 years of complete heartache and pain I went through. Facebook can expose a great deal of character about a person's life if you seek carefully. There I looked on his sister's page, which at the time I thought was his sister. I knew he had a deceased sister he always used to tell me about and I remember him telling me he did not have a Facebook. But when I started to become suspicious in the beginning of our relationship I decided to look anyway. Lo and behold he has one! I seen that he only had one picture of this woman on his page. But then I looked a little deeper and found out it was actually his wife. I saw the marriage pictures and pictures of his 4 kids as well. So when I finally confront him and sent him the pictures of him and his wife and him and his kids, he brushes it off like nothing was out of the ordinary. He proceeds to continue our relationship. Still calling and trying to come over to see me. I finally let him come over because I admit I was lonely and hurt and wanted clarity. When he came over we talke, he never really acknowledged the fact that he was married. I never got an "I'm sorry" or an apology or anything, besides the fact of him trying to explain why it went on for so long, he tells me "when you been around shitty people all your life", but does that give him a pass to be just like those shitty people?Why would you want to be just like them? Anyway he did in fact try to still get in bed with me so I basically end up having to fight him off of me. I'm still presently dealing with the pain and am coping with this disappointment that has came about in my life. I know that I am young and have a lot more to learn and are probably going to go through a lot more bad things in life. But I God's favor over my life. I should have kept my eyes on him instead of being lead astray. I am indeed glad I learned in my youth. I am a lot more aware now of snakes that can come in my life duck the life out of you or when the devil is present and is only coming to still , kill ,and destroy. I'm proud to say that I am keeping my faith in Jesus, the one who only comes so that you may have life more abundantly, and will spot the enemy the next time he comes to try to trip me up to stumble and fall.

    • GlendaGoodWitch profile image

      GlendaGoodWitch 2 years ago from California

      Seqoya -Spartanburg SC----- Thank you for your comment. Your story is typical of what men do to play both ends against the middle. I am very sorry you had to go through that, but, it sounds like you have let yourself come closer to God as a result. That's great! Our society, because it has become Godless, is becoming more and more acceptable of cheating, and lying men, and most women, in these times, have resigned themselves to what happens to them. I good friend of mine is blindly going through a similar situation right now. He is a fireman, and can only see her about every two weeks.

      He has no children and has not introduced her to his mother. This is after more than two years into the relationship.

      She is a very liberal woman, meaning, she is willing to fall for every unconventional way of life/lie that he explains. I hope she comes out of this as wise as you have.

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      Letty 22 months ago

      thanx for all your comments they really helped me.m in love with a married man but now our love is 'sour'.he calls or text only when he wants sex and i get nothing out of it.he told me that he does not get satisfied in bed with his wife bcoz the wife gets tired before he ejaculates. recently i got to know that his wife has just given birth to their third child. m tryin to move on but i cant find someone of m age only older and married man.

    • GlendaGoodWitch profile image

      GlendaGoodWitch 22 months ago from California

      I am very sorry that you have suffered in your relationship with a married man. Just put things in perspective. You are not getting anything out of the relationship and therefore its not worth your time. It takes time to move one, but, picking up hobbies is one way to both take your mind off of the failed relationship and at the same time provides opportunity to meet someone new. Golf, zumba, tennis, ect.

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      Diana 22 months ago

      im dating a married too.The wife m hz family knows abt me bt e wife has nvr insulted nor confronted me n I jc wonder why? im e one who smtyms hv a pro call him at night jc to ca

      use conflicts btwn him n hz wifeHe stl cums to me n saes he loves me.He supports me financially bt stl I wish I had met him first.The wife once packed n went n he nvr followed it was nearly a divorce bt both families fixed things fr them.Im confused dnt know weather to mve on or wat.He nvr lies to me, hz honest abt him n hz wife he does tell wn thy are in gud buks n not.He doesnt wanna lose me.

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      amethysty 21 months ago

      I'm dating a married man. I met him at my job and now he is always around. He tries to be around as often as possible, but it's not enough for me. He is married, and says they have an open relationship. Also, this wife never seems to get jealous. He has already told me if he divorced he would feel more guilty bc of his child.

      I've already decided that when the wife pulls the plug he will be gone. He's my good time and I set him to building projects and other things I need when I can. He likes to bring food to my place, take me out and drive me to and from work. I am afraid I am starting to get clingy, but I try to just remember he already chose his priority. Thinking about leaving is not the same as leaving. He's already told me he loves me, but love isn't enough.

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      RoseyDee 20 months ago

      I am not sure my story fits but in the end I am dating a married man. We met in 1995, he was 23 and I 25. We are both from one of the most beautiful Islands in the Caribbean. He pursued me relentlessly but at the time I was preoccupied with life and pursuing a career. He professed his love for me but instead we became friends. He never hid the fact that I was his first love and the woman who broke his heart. We joked about it for years but moved on with our individual lives. He got married to a beautiful woman and had 2 children. I was excited and happy for him. Shortly after he married, he migrated to a neighboring country for work but some how he never gave up even when I rebuffed his suttle advances. We remained very close friends. I migrated to Canada for school in 2007 with my boyfriend with the hope of committing to marriage and a new life. 2 years later I bailed on the plans, as I realised I wasnot in love with him and instead returned home. It was obvious then that I was holding out because I was in love with a married man, which is against everything I was taught growing up. I think he tried as well to deny his feelings but anyone who is around us picks up on it. My family have realized and expressed concern for me and my reputation. To break of the relationship/friendship I migrated again in 2011 and is now living and working in New York. Every time I return home on vacation he finds me and we fall back into our old habits. We met up in Orlando last week and stayed at this beautifully luxury hotel. We tried to put things on the table and he confessed that in his 10 years of marriage I am the only woman he has cheated with on of his wife and all he wants to do is to spoil me. I have prayed and ask for the strength to move on with my life as I know he is a good person and I believe he has a good marriage. However, whilst in Orlando I did the most selfish thing and asked him to father a child with me. Maybe its an ultimatum or a wicked escape strategy but this is what I truly want. It is something we have discussed in the past and he agreed to prior but never came to fuition and I want to try again. Funny though, in all those years he has never given me gifts or helped me out financially. I guess I have never asked, hmmm!!! Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep as I wish to have a family of my own, which I am now accepting may never happen as I spent many years being in love with a married man. I take full responsibility for my state of unhappiness as the decisions taken were all mine. Although I often accuse him of manipulating me, I am the hot head and he is the calm but calculating one. He is now a VP at a local bank and I work in a comfortable job in NYC. I am back in NYC and him back home with his family. I love him and realize will always do but I need to move on with my life. Embarrassing as it is there was a time I prayed for his marriage to fail. I love him but don't want to find myself in this same position a year from today. I have given to many years of my life as it is. they say acceptance is the first step to moving forward

    • GlendaGoodWitch profile image

      GlendaGoodWitch 20 months ago from California

      Thank you for your story RosyDee. I truly feel for you. I hope that you will devise a plan to accomplish your dreams. This is how people get what they want out of life. It is not unusual for a woman dating a married man to hope that his marriage fails, but, its definitely not productive. If you think about just the facts of this scenario, he is having his cake and eating it too. Its very interesting how its almost always the man who has his wife, his kids, and picture of a nice life, while the mistress just pines for him and longs for a baby.

      I have seen this happen to women too many times.

      First, if you have a baby out of wedlock with him it will not really solve your problem, it will temporarily mask it, but, will eventually lead to bitterness between the two of you. You, like most women, want a family of your own, but because you are with him instead of a single man you cannot have a family with him. This is where you have decided to simply settle for a "mock family". If you were pregnant right now you would feel relief and happiness immediately, but in a few months that happiness would go away and you would feel as you do now. Like you don't have the whole package.

      You would be envious of women who are taken to the hospital by their excited husbands, and would be trying to hide, (I assume he wont announce this baby to his family). You and the baby would be in the shadows while he and his "legitimate" family live openly.

      Also, a child's future is important. That should be number one when having a baby. Statistics have revealed that children who are born to single mom's do not do as well in life, suffer from depression, and overall are not living in a very positive, family, environment.

      You should keep praying for strength and please make an effort to change your life. You may even see what his reaction is to the suggestion that he leave his wife, stop living a lie, and get serious with you. This should be very revealing to you. Many women who have very loving and fun relationships as you have find that when the guy leaves his wife, things change, and all the good they were enjoying is gone. Others discover that they guy does not really care at all. If this man really loves you it will kill him to think that he is robbing you of a good life and he will want to do something about it. Bottom line.

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      lorreta 13 months ago

      I think am inlove with a married man.BUT what worries me is that he will never leave his wife for me

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      Carol Sinclair 12 months ago

      My married man advertised himself as separated on a dating website. He lives about two hours away. He later confessed to still living in the house, but sleeping downstairs. I stopped sleeping with him, yet we continued to talk and go out for dinner.

      Then I became very sick and he saved my life by getting me to a hospital. I was in a coma and bed-ridden for 2 months and then had to learn to walk again. I lost my hair and physically am not the same person, but he is still around and paying for my many expenses.

      I have rationalized this relationship for now. His generosity has made this difficult situation bearable. Perhaps he will leave her soon, or perhaps he won't. But, I can't forget this man who has stood by me when he has no obligation whatsoever.

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      Kimmie Sue 10 months ago

      I was dating a married man..he left his wife once then he went back but ended up leaving again. Then we begin to live together. As time went by I saw a change in him, it's like I was becoming the enemy knowing I was there for him through it all even when he left everything and lost his job, I kept him on his feet...I believed if he could've went back to her he would've. But now he's avoiding me and making up excuses as to why he don't want no one right now and faulted me for falling in love when he didn't have a problem at first

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      myself 9 months ago

      Well... Right now I'm completely, madly in love with a married guy. I'm not dating him, but he already gave me tips that he also feels like kissing me... He didn't tried anything yet. I wonder if he's not completely sure that I actually want to be with him, or if he realizes his feeling and mine, but prefers to be loyal to his wife. Or maybe he's playing with me. Who knows... All I know is that if only I could kiss him, God... That would be like paradise. I don't want him to leave his wife. All I wanted was to kiss those lips and that's all. That would be enough to make me so happy.. I wouldn't care if he said to me that he wouldn't leave his wife. That's ok to me. I just wonder if he would insist on having sex with me, because then I could be in doubt if he really feels something for me or if he just wants me as a peace of meat. Maybe I would feel like shit.. I could if he could treat me like shit too, because that's what many guys do when a woman accept to have sex with them without commitment. So maybe if I said to him i would only kiss him, without having sex, maybe he would respect me? All I wanted was a chance to kiss those magic, irresistible lips...

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 9 months ago from United Kingdom

      My feeling is that a leopard never changes its spots, and if you get involved with a married man, he is likely to lie to you like he lies to his wife, and ultimately, if you get together, he will be unfaithful to you just as he was to his wife.

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      Clemens 9 months ago

      I'm an unhappy married Aries male. There are some special reasons that I cannot get divorced. But one day it will happen. Just not now. I am not a cheater but I deeply need love. Recently I met a lovely Leo woman at an online dating platform. We had a great, long conversation. I haven't had such a good conversation for ages. And we have many common things. She's on a business travel now and I miss her so much. I know it sounds crazy but this is how I feel. We talked about dating one day. I am 100% sure, when we meet, there will be fire and we'll want to be more and more close to each other. She's so precious. I deeply care about her. And don't want to hurt her. She's someone that I want to keep whole my life. I love and care about her so much, so deeply, even at the risk/cost of loosing her. Because I am planning to tell her the truth, that I am married. It's so hard for me. Even now.. when writing these.. my heart pains. First, I thought to tell her truth after we get intimate. Because I want her to experience me, my love and passion. Then maybe she'd accept my situation because she will fall for me. But this is selfish, right? Should I tell her the truth after or during our casual date? Because if I tell now, I mean from online platorm, there's a possibility that she might not want to date me and would not talk to me anymore. I want to see her, look into her eyes, hear her voice, feel her smell, talk to face to face at least once in my life. That's why I want to tell the truth after our date. I am sure we are meant for each other. I don't want to loose her. I want to be friends and stay friends till the day I get divorced. And even ready to see or hear that she's dating other men because she has a life. Just want to keep in touch with her. Love her so much.. Please advise about when to tell her the truth.

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      Myself 8 months ago

      Hello, Clemens. My opinion is that you should meet this woman, but tell her about the fact that you're married BEFORE you start kissing and having sex... Because if you say that after you have had sex with her, she could feel USED by you. Do you understand? But anyway, tell her when you meet personally, because through internet, there's a risk that she'll never talk to you anymore. But personally, it would be easier to convince her about your point of view... Well, that's my opinion. Anyway, one thing is certain: you must tell her the truth!!

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      Confused 8 months ago

      I know someone from work 5 years ago and we kept in touch over the years. Both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. She doesn't have any kids and 10 years younger than me. I have 3 adult kids and a wife. Just realized lately that I still like her. We went out for dinner and drinks and finally had the courage to kiss her a few times and we held hands. Told her how I've kept the feeling for so long. Now she's telling me that she's not ready to be in another relationship. We are supposed to have a serious conversation after that incident but I'm afraid she will reject me on that day. Am I just being paranoid? I'm guessing that she likes me too because I did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? She told me that we will be having that conversation over coffee (not dinner). Is that any indication that she sees the incident as a mistake and is trying to steer clear of that ever happening again? She still answers my calls but will not respond to my emails or text messages if I include sweet nothings. Am so confused.

    • profile image

      Confused 8 months ago

      I know someone from work 5 years ago and we kept in touch over the years. Both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. She doesn't have any kids and 10 years younger than me. I have 3 adult kids and a wife. Just realized lately that I still like her. We went out for dinner and drinks and finally had the courage to kiss her a few times and we held hands. Told her how I've kept the feeling for so long. Now she's telling me that she's not ready to be in another relationship. We are supposed to have a serious conversation after that incident but I'm afraid she will reject me on that day. Am I just being paranoid? I'm guessing that she likes me too because I did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? She told me that we will be having that conversation over coffee (not dinner). Is that any indication that she sees the incident as a mistake and is trying to steer clear of that ever happening again? She still answers my calls but will not respond to my emails or text messages if I include sweet nothings. Am so confused.

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      Julia 8 months ago

      I am dating a married man, he never told me he has a wife, we only meet once in a month, he comes to my house to have sex with me, but he don't support me financial or may be I don't ask, he don't spent a lot of time with me. I want to end the relationship but he insist that he love me immensely. and he want a baby with me. I don't know what to do.

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      marie 8 months ago

      i am currently seeing a married man who is my boss. i have met his wife...he has two beautiful kids. however we started seeing each other so surprisingly as we became friends first. we are basically the same person. his wife doesnt work and he works really hard to give them a luxurious life. currently the wife and kids lives away and he is back here...he travels to see them every now and then . i love him and i think he loves me...he says it and shows it alot but i know what i want and it is not this predicament at all. i am not seeing other people ...never been that type and the fact that he is and i know it eat sat my very core.... i said i would start seeing people but i am just not that type so i think it is time i call it quits... regardless of how much he says he loves me...and i love him too... i just dnt believe in dishonesty , nor am i materialistic so whatever he does for me really doesnt count as i am able to do it for myself....we are so happy together except when something triggers a memory of teh reality of teh situation or when he gets jealous or somethng.... please help me... i am really hurting knowing what i must do and figuring out how to do it .... his mom likes me alot and everyone already assumes we are together ... and compliments us i writ ethis i am so heavy hearted... i just dont believe in making myself happy at the expense of others , though he says they have grown apart and she doesnt even know him. in fact he says that he stayed in the relationship to make sure his kids had a balanced life...

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      MariaB 8 months ago

      So I met this wonderful guy that turned out to be married and has 2 kids and I have a boyfriend that we have been together for 3 years now.

      At first it was just friendship and I was going after him even thought I didn't know he was married with kids but once he told me I still went after him thinking I wasn't going to catch feelings since he reassure me that besides having sex nothing else was going to happen. Before we even had Sec. The first time which btw was great, we talked everyday after work at work and during work. Everything's was going good but I was the one who caught feelings first and I was in pain for so long but since he would always say "you have to be realistic and nothing else is going to happen between us" i got I guess over it. During the conversations we had he would tell me about his previous affairs and how we was a manwhore and he had left his wife once got bored of the girl and went back home. he would tell me he had dated hot as fuck girls and how he would fuck them etc.. So everything he told me helped me to straight out my feelings and decided not to leave my boyfriend. Times passed we still talked all day when ever he had time he would bring me food from work but me ice cream treat me really nice, buy me medicine when I got sick and I would cook for him when he was sick send it with someone buy he clothes, food and other things. I was ok with just seein him knowing he was ok. After a while he would tell me that he loves me that I make him feel like any other girl had made him feel. That he always thinking about me and cares about me. He started getting jealous of me been with my boyfriend (he knew I had a boyfriend he was ok with it) he didn't wanted me to have sex with my bf. I told him that why shouldn't I have sex with my bf if he has sex with his wife and I don't tell him anything. He says that it's different the situation is more complicated because he has kids I told him so ? You left them once why can't you do it again? He said I wouldn't do it again? That brake me into pieces because I have deep feelings for him. I have serious feelings for him but I'm afraid of leaving my boyfriend turning him maybe into an asshole and for what ? Someone who is not willing to give up everything for me while I would in a blink of an eye give up everything for him? I love him hurts me knowing that he gets "hurt" and hurts me more that I'm cheating on my boyfriend but I just don't love my boyfriend anymore I got used to him. He is nice loveable understands me spoils me but is just doesn't think further into the future he doesn't want to succeed in life, in the other hand the other one wants to move on in life he makes plans for me and him into the future. I just don't know what to do I'm in pain and I don't want to hurt neither of them. I know I'm been selfish but I can't help it

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      Alina 8 months ago

      I have been having an affair with a married man a little over a year now. I am very much in Love with him. There are periods when we don't see each other for weeks at a time due to his work schedule. And sometimes we see each other twice a week! It's emotionally challenging to say the least. Very high highs when we are together and very low lows when we part. This isn't his first rodeo. Men are better at compartmentalising then us woman. I try to prepare myself for the day it ends, but I am just not ready. Any woman having an affair, I feel for you. It is very lonley. Focusing on self love, hobbies, & putting ourself out there to meet elibable men is important.

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      Angela 8 months ago

      I was in a long distant relationship for about a year and a half. We were in love, but when it came time to relocate he wasn't ready financially. There were another factors, ptsd, depression and unwillingness to live life to the fullest. We were very opposite. This story thickens... During our relationship I met his family and they loved me as I well liked his loving family. When meeting his family I met his twin brother who was everything my boyfriend was but with few differences as we had more in common. For two months after meeting his brother we stayed in contact. He was easy to talk to and our common interest made conversations interesting. My boyfriend continued to lack communication "while still states apart" I often communicated with his brother more. As another two months passed it was apparent my boyfriend wasn't making any moves and time was standing still. I eventually broke it off. His brother and I became good friend and he was there for me. It's been 4 months since we broke up. I haven't heard a word from him, but I've stayed in touch with his brother. What makes this story difficult is during the last four months feelings developed between the brother and I, and well this wasn't intended to happen. One, his brother is a married man and two, I was indeed in love with his brother, but the conversations continued and now feelings have developed into mutual attraction. We are making plans to see each other as he is also in a different state. We have never talked about where this is going, but he has mentioned telling his brother about us and how he feels about me, but has never mentioned mentioning it to his wife. We're are falling hard for each other. I don't know how this happened or what to except from this day forward. I've never been involved with a married man who is also my ex boyfriends brother who I still care about deeply. Please any advice will help. Lay it on me!

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      Helen 8 months ago

      I'm in love with a married man, we have been together for almost 6 yrs. Its the same scenario as above, tells me he loves me, sleeps separately from wife, she has gone off sex, he won't leave cos of kids. I feel trapped by my feelings for him. I know if I give him an ultimatum it will hurt very much so I stay as I am for now. Its easy for people to be judgemental until you're in the same position. Some people say they wouldn't put themselves in this position but you can't help who you fall in love with.

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      Eagle 8 months ago

      What a great article. Just what I needed in times like this. Thank you to everyone sharing their stories too, they make me feel less lonely :) Time to start loving my single life again!

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      Brenna 8 months ago

      I’m not sure if my story is the same. He is not married, but they live together with their children. I knew upfront they were together, I know nothing will come out of the relationship and had no expectations around that, but I can’t seem to give him up. I get nothing from the relationship except great sex. I’m 15 yrs older than him and single. I don’t want him to leave her for me; I definitely don’t want to deal with his 4 young kids. We’ve been seeing each other almost two years, and it’s rocky. I know he still has sex with his “woman” and he has never lied to me. I date and have sex with other men on occasion, he knows and gets jealous and complains about it, but I told him too bad. We are drawn to each other and we both know it’s wrong and can’t seem to stay away from each other. I’ve broken up with him twice but can’t stay away more than two months before he wears me down. Honestly, I think I only go back to him because I’m lonely and if I were in a relationship I would break it off. I feel bad for what I am doing but can’t stop the cycle.

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      Lynn 8 months ago

      For 3 years I was infatuated with my coworker. We flirted heavily with each other, he always had to touch me, do things for me, etc…our co-workers and manager noticed but didn’t say anything. Because he lives and works in another location from me I think our co-workers just leave it alone. They do however never leave us alone while we are out. I recently had an opportunity to work and live in his location for a secondment (work exchange). We were inseparable during my time there. He was openly affectionate to me, where another manager said something to him about it. Some would say we had an emotional affair. I love this man so much it hurts. I really think he is the love of my life. He lives with his girlfriend and two kids. While I was on my secondment he invited me over for dinner to their house and I met his girlfriend. She’s beautiful long hair, a size 2 seemingly perfect. I am a size 16 and beautiful but I am literally the complete opposite of this woman. At first she wasn’t intimidate by me but overtime and several visits back to their home ( I was invited by both to return) became jealous and intimidated by my relationship with him and their kids. He has confessed to me they have problems, and how he feels about me, but neither of us acted on our feelings outside of holding hands. Once I came back home we couldn’t maintain what I developed between us. I took another job (not because of him) and now we no longer work together so don’t have the opportunity to see each other. He told me she is jealous of our relationship and he isn’t allowed to see me or be friends with me anymore. I was devastated when he told this to me. After my last business trip from seeing him I cried for the entire 6 hour flight back home. Now I am at a loss. I love a man I can’t have and can’t get over. Every man I meet I compare to him and I am not happy. I cry all the time. It’s been almost a year since I last heard from him. How can I ever get over him? Writing this has me in tears. I feel like I will never find another man like him that I can love. I feel foolish to be in love with a man that I never had sex with, but our relationship was just so much more than that. No one ever talks about emotional affairs.

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      Iesha 7 months ago

      I'm in love with a married man he doesn't lie to me. I am on the phone with him with Lisa when she's around

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      ZAKIRA 7 months ago

      I have been in a on and off relationship with my ex boyfriend for 5 years, and in this time he was also dating someone else, and i knew about it, but i was so obsess and in love with him that i really didnt care, eventually we parted ways, and he married the other woman and they have a beautiful son togther, it was really painful i couldnt get past the pain, eventually i found the strenght to let go, but couple of months later i once again found myself back with him, i dont know what to do, i am so confuse, the sex is amazing, but im not getting anything out of it, im happy when im with him, but the thought of him sleeping next to his wife just kills me, and the fact that i have to make appointments to see him, and im not allowed to call him at night, i love this guy, but i dont know i how to walk away

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      Noone 7 months ago

      Give this advice to other by thinking of your own husband or even your dad.think of the people who will get suffer for indulging into this illegal instead of giving shitty posts which will eventually lead to divorce try giving some advices why we should not indulge into these relations and why we should remain faithful

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      Cin 7 months ago

      I'm married, and I just started seeing a married man. We flirted for a year at work before finally going on a date. After the first date he kissed me. I was ok with that, but by the second date he was a little more forward. He wanted to "talk" in the car. Well, I had a few glasses of wine and we did more than talk! We didn't have sex but it was hot & heavy! He mentioned going to a hotel in the future and bringing food. Excuse me? Lol....I'm more annoyed that he mentioned bringing food to the room than the other. I read this article and I agree with the statement "Ask yourself this question: "What am I getting out of dating a married man?" If you are not getting anything, you should ask the man to make the affair worth your time financially or move on. I am not being judgmental here. But if your guy plays with you for free and then goes home to his wife and plays the husband while you sulk, you are only torturing yourself and being a hooker who works for free". Well, what is my next move? I'm enjoying the affair but I don't want to come off that damn easy. It will take all the fun out of it. I'm attracted to strong financially and intelligent men. So hard to find! Advice?

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      Beonpainful 7 months ago

      Don't ... stay away... u will never , ever be the same again. Worse then any physical pain you can have. Horrific life once you fall in love with a married man and they won't leave. They want to leave but can't find a way. The money ? The status, and the kids keep them living in an unhappy marriage ...only the strong ones leave because they know life is short and they want to be happy. Most are cowards .. sad. But true I'm going throu it .... sucks.

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      Follower of Christ 7 months ago

      All of you who are dating married men have your priorities WRONG!! You will reap what you have sown!!@

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      Onyinye 7 months ago

      I have a boyfriend who I have dated for seven years he loves me so much, I betrayed the trust he has for me by dating a married man I met five months ago I am in love with him don't know how to tell my boyfriend I vowed never to date a married man, I don't know how I found myself loving him. this man is married with three kids but his wife is not giving him peace of mind, he wants me to accept his proposal so he can come see my family....... Am confused pls I need advice

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      Pum 7 months ago

      Touching stories

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      Sibbs 7 months ago

      Married man are crappy ...single ones are frustrated. ..iv run out of places to look for a partner

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      Nhbjb 7 months ago

      I am a married woman with an arranged marriage Years ago. I fell in love with a married man who is 4 years younger than me for 6 months now . He has 3 lovely children and I have two . I have met many men in my life and I am attractive confident and beautiful . But I always had trouble fall in love or commitment. I can't have any relationship over a year . I either got bored very quick or I ran away when I was asked commitment . My husband loves me very much which made me feel stable and being a normal woman . But I always feel kind of incomplete because of the inability to love . I met my lover in a business networking event. He is charming , handsome, confident and perfect body clean cut . His suits always tailored and fit perfectly. We met a few times later for dinners and I feel I really fall in love with him and very quickly became unsepersteble. I believe this is the first love in my life . I really cherish this emotions and devote myself to him . We talk and texts everyday and we meet after work a few times a week . He was really struggling in our relationship because he loves his wife but he loves me more than her. He never had affairs before, . He tried to push me away a few times because he is falling so much doesn't have the ability to leave himself . We both know this is wrong . But we don't have the ability to separate . We tried. But failed every time . Love is like addiction . When u cut off supply , the withdrawal is too painful to endure . We aretogether more often than before with this love affair progresses . His wife already getting suspicious and acting out sometimes . I am more mature than him in this perspective , my family really didn't suspect anything . he can't hide his emotions in front of his wife . He went to pyschologist for therapy . She advised him if we keep like this , everything will blow up in front of our faces . His wife is very nice and sweet lady married to him since she was 18 years old. She doesn't work and he is her whole life . I am so in love and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anybody . We r together only 6 month . I would consider more carefully what my plan in the future if our relationship can pass one year . But I know I never had this feeling to any man in my life . The love is way above and beyond the level of ethical , social standard. I can't let it go . One thing I am sure , his wife will find out very soon if we continue this relationship. Because he is such a honest , great guy . I can tell he endures the tremendous guilt being with me but he can't help himself to stop . I hope we won't end up destroy two beautiful families for love . God knows what gonna happen in near future

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      Noname 7 months ago

      I met a man online last year and we became good friends, or so I thought. After months of talking on the phone we met and the chemistry was even better. I have my guard up most all the time and this one time I decided to trust someone and give them the benefit of the doubt, it backfired badly. I fell in love with this man and I started noticing that we ALWAYS stayed at my apartment, phone calls only occurred at certain times, never met any family or friends. One day I looked him dead in the face and ask d him if he was married and he said no as if it were a foreign word. Still not feeling he was being honest, I did some research and discovered he was married AND lied about his name. When I confronted him he didn't deny it and he said it's just something he has done for a while. Long story short I was devastated and didn't speak to him for several months. So many unanswered questions I had so I contacted him again. & in a way I think I was hoping that he came to his senses, realized he loved me, & we would ride off into the sunset together. WRONG!!! Nothing was different except that because I contacted him he thought I had forgiven and should be ok with it. I can't be ok with being a side piece and I know I wouldn't want this to happen to me so I just couldn't do it anymore. It lasted about 5 months, & I wasn't happy. Sex can confuse your judgement that's for sure especially when it's amazing. Things needed very bad...I became angry and I did contact his wife and sent her screenshots of messages and pics ( nude) as well...I felt absolutely horrible afterwards and I lost a lot of sleep for a cpl weeks behind it. I feel bad for hurting her. Now I'm just picking up the pieces and trying to just move on. It's not easy, but I know that this hurt won't last forever. Women, he knows all the right things to say and trust me, you probably aren't the only side piece he has. Love yourself enough to walk away because if u don't have any standard he won't value you plus chances are if he cheats with u, he will cheat on u. If he loves u like he says, he would leave his current relationship and come at u the right way. Anything else...he's just playing games

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      Nessy 7 months ago

      Am in love with a married Man, he told from the beginning that he was married by default and as their culture he has to stay with the wife and the kids and he is allowed to marry a second wife of which he has proposed countless times but I always turn him down, he more willing to take me to his parents but I am scared, his best friend knows about us and his cousin also knows about, his wife contacted me sometimes back after she saw my text on his phone but I didn't respond, he helped me move out and start a new life he supports me fully finacialy buys me expensive staff take me out for lunch twice a week and we go clubbing every weekend and he spents the weekend at my place, we go shopping together,kisses me in public,holds my hands in public we take a lot of pictures with his phone and he never delete, when I try to leave him he becomes crazy he can even drive to my place upto 2am just to say he is sorry, he doesn't like me going to clubs with my friends he will show up if I do, he gives me full access of his phone, the problem is he is still intimate with his wife and he is honest about it and he also want to get me pregnant. In short he want me as his second wife and be made known....he is pushing me to introduce him to my family or any family function he would force his way inn he also want us to open a big business together....Am confused what should I do Kindly advice

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      Noname 6 months ago

      Im single mom and I dated married men who work in same place with me for three years. I never thought that our relationship went so far and so intense. I couldnt think why did i so stupid that time, the things happen so fast.He trying to get me from the beginning and evantually i had falling in love with this man.Though he had told me that he had married with 3 children but i just ignored it because he had convinced me that his feeling on me is true. We had great times, had fun but it often end with tears and pain as he will return to his family and im alone. I keep pray and seek the right path but keep fallen to same mistake. Its like circle, when he return to his family i will try to advice myself to not see him anymore. But when he call and looking for me i just forget everything. He keep telling me that doing sex not a sin if you really love each other.LOL and sometimes he will tell me a bible story that past mankind too has doing affair and GOD had forgiven them. I had advice him what we do is really wrong, and sometimes we end up of arguing. Since the men never support me financially, i started to open my eyes. I started to find article, ask friend opinion and started to met other man.Our Relationship getting much drama, fight. My eyes often swelling when i go to work..even my collaegue ask what happen to my eyes.. i had tell him to break up but he cannot accept that and said to me that i had ruined his life if i dump him. To make it short, i started to think that why should i be loyal be honest to this married men, and i cheated on him i met guy..i see the guy when he return to his family..and one night my married man caught me with the guy i met in my he is very furious, very angry..he is completely going uncontroll.. and crashed my car mirror on that night.and the worst thing has happen, my family know the story and even his wife know it. LOL I feel guilty that time for not being honest with him..but in the end i think it has it own reason to happen.

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      Carmen 6 months ago

      My situation is extremely confusing.. I am sleeping with a married man.. Yes.. This man whom I've been friends with for almost 7yrs.. About 5 years ago we did confess we had some feelings for each other. He was with his hs girlfriend and I 4wks pregnant.. Didn't seem so ideal.. We stopped speaking for a,few years because with our situation we couldn't have what we wanted.. We reconnected about a year ago as friends texting joking around like old friends. Since our previous encounter he had gotten married to,the same girl he was with then and,had a child.. One night he stopped by after work to say hey.. All of those old feelings came back I could read them so well in the way he looked at me.. I did make the first move but stopped.. He is married.. Even though like them all he says he's not happy he's still married. He made the second move could no longer say no.. We talk everyday like friends and when we see each other were,sleeping together.. Not Every time but most. Not a day goes by I don't hear from him.. I'm not sure what to do because I've made the mistake of falling for him but what we are doing is sick.. How does this even happen.. Confused I guess.

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      Emanuela 6 months ago

      Wow.. the articals are so helpful.I have really picked a leaf.Its my first time to date a married man but i have been through immense pain.Moving on hurts but i guess its the right thing to do.

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      Anushka 6 months ago

      I was an other woman to a married man who got a child recently. We had the affair for 11 months and at the end, out of jealousy I disclosed every fact about our affair to his wife. His family life has been almost ruined by my rudeness..But he still talks to me without showing any anger toward me. Why does not he hate me? Does this mean he had emotionally attracted to me and love my company even after I have deliberately ruined his family?

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      Christyroxanne 6 months ago

      I am a widow but recently began seeing a married man that i work with. We started out as friends. After losing my husband, i suppose i need to fill a void. I pursued him, hard. He had never cheated on his wife of twenty years. They have been in separate bedrooms for a few years now. They have children. I actually know and like his wife. I dont know her well but...

      He is a really good person and sometimes i feel guilty about convincing him into this affair because i know it bothers him so much. I have never asked him to leave her nor will i but i have told him that i love him and he has told me the same. Hes a Christian and thinks hes going to hell. Ive tried easing his mind but he beats himself up about it. What can i do?

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      Billz 6 months ago

      It is dead wrong to be "in love" with a married man!!! This article just paints all the bad stuff in shades of grey and does not actually say for a fact what is wrong or right. People will keep reading this crap and be subconsciously setting themselves up for divorce and being more open to it. Yet they wonder why divorce rate is highest in the US. Like people should move on already!! There are millions of single guyz out there and this writer will be telling us how to "caress" being in love with a married man... its funny until you are the wife about to get divorced by your husband and all your years and efforts are down d drain because of a group of people that rely on their genitals for their thinking!! The truth is... until we learn to love the right way...this is just an endless cycle...when he dumps his wife for you trust me in a year or two he would be having thoughts of finding "the next best thing" of course what goes around comes around. We ought to be thinking of making the world a better place and take more responsibilities for our decisions and actions rather than always looking for the short escape route. Until then, the divorce rate will only get higher...can't imagine what relationships and marriages would be like in 2050

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      Anon 6 months ago

      Didnt know where to begin,Maybe i shouldn't

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      TAJAH 6 months ago

      i have been in a relationship with this man for 6 years. i think im outgrowing him because its not going in the direction i would like. he was honest enough to tell me he was in a live in relationship with his girlfriend whom they have always had arguements. for me this was just a physical relationship but then he bacame attached getting to know my family. and yes over time i have grown to love him and i feel he has some affection for me but its not enough for me. at first he would say if i dated someone he would understand but now he doesnt want me to date other people. which like i told him its selfish because he is still in the live in situation. my problem is i have become so comfortable with the way things were, but now im tired! i see that this is going nowhere no time soon or later!

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      Miles 6 months ago

      Im living together with a married man, his wife left him, they have no baby and no communication at all. He wanted to have family with me, and having baby, before he would legally end their marriage and before he would marry me. But I wanted him to make a first step of formally ending their relationship before wanting to have kids with him, yet he has not done anything so far. Im just afraid. so I told him I was not ready yet to build a family but what I really wanted was to first get married with him before starting a family.

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      bb88888888 5 months ago

      How about not committing adultery and just staying away from married man altogether? That's the righteous way.

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      Nikki P. 5 months ago

      I was cheated on by my husband (now ex) and it is devastating. One of the worst pains I've ever had. It's never ok to do that to your spouse, no matter how unhappy you are. And it can be avoided. I know how difficult it can be to do the right thing. I've been friends for years with an old co-worker who is now married with 3 children. One day recently, he confessed that he's had feelings for me since we worked together 16 years ago. I'm very attracted to him also and I have enjoyed our conversations over the years. But he's married. So we remain friends, but nothing romantic has been allowed to happen. I keep the conversation friendly and if his wife ever saw anything that is said, she will never have to worry about me. It hurts sometimes because I miss being with someone and it's been difficult to find someone. But I feel better knowing I'm not going to be responsible for hurting another woman the way I was or for breaking up a family. And I know that if it ever becomes too difficult to just stay friends with him, I will pull the plug on our friendship. It takes a lot of self control, which is something lacking in many people these days.

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      Renee - Carolina 5 months ago

      I was in a 15 year relationship with a man and we have four children together he wanted an out do he left us . My oldest was 11 and youngest was 7. 9 years later I met a guy that delivers products at my job and he said he has been watching me for a while he gave me his number but I lost it. A couple weeks later we ran in to each other and he asked what happened I told him I lost his number so he ask me for my number and I gave it to him. So he called later that night. The first questions I asked were Are you or have you ever been married he said no. We talked on the phone and txt for about two weeks. I sitting one day having lunch and two of my co workers we're talking about his dad and his name came of and I sat there and listen to what they had to say. I found out that he was married with 3 children I was shocked. I called him and he was mute at first. He then said to me yes he is but it's not perfect and my words to him was I asked you in the beginning and you lied to me and trust is a big issue for me after my previous relationship. I then told him we can only be friends because believe it or not he always made me laugh and I made him laugh. I really liked him but I can't be with a married man. I Thank God I found out about his marriage and I never slept with him but I can't lie I do think about him from time to time. I think maybe it's because I haven't allowed another man in my life after my precious relationship or that I have been celibate for 2 1/2 years..

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      Erica 5 months ago

      I am dating a married man as well...I find it comforting knowing many others are guilty of this. I'd like to tell my story and get some feedback. Is anyone still on here to respond for some advice or thoughts/suggestions?!

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      Renee - Carolina 5 months ago

      I would love to hear your story Erica

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      Baby3 5 months ago

      I am seeing a married man. We have known each other since high school. I am also friends with his first wife. I have met his current wife at a function a few years ago. He and I have been friends and never looked at one another in any other way. Two weeks ago something changed and we crossed a line for the first time in 22 years of knowing him. His wife is due any time with their child. I know he loves his wife and I know that he believes he is falling in-love with me... Unfortunately, I have fallen in-love with him. He wants to tell her about us. He hasn’t been sexually active with her since we crossed the line. I am in such conflict and turmoil over this. As a mother myself, I am really apprehensive about him telling her especially before she gives birth. That could put both of their lives in danger (my opinion). I know it is wrong and I am very blunt about it with him. We are on the phone from 6am till almost midnight everyday. I know the right thing to do is walk away. I can’t bring myself to do it. He can’t do it either. I am partly hoping that once the baby comes that it will affect our relationship. That way this affair will only have lasted 3 weeks.

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      Rachel 5 months ago

      Found out recently that a man I have been sleeping with is sleeping with someone I know and have worked with. He is in a very high profile position. I'm not going to see him any more but I know his routine and this other woman who I like I want to tell her that she hasn't been the only one so she can also take care herself to not get hurt any more thinking he's just with her and may leave his wife some day which clearly has been a lie from day one. What should I do.? Should I just walk away with telling my friend to do the same because he was sleeping with me too or should I just let her continue her affair with him. Really want to bust him I'm sure he will replace all of us but still ... Help . Oh year how should do it as well.

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      Fiona 5 months ago

      A really great eye opening and honest article x

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      SparklePony 5 months ago

      I started out dating the married couple. The wife became jealous of my relationship with her husband. Now I'm in love with him and she is alienated from both of us. It doesn't get more complicated than that. She knows about me but not that he and I still have intimate conversations. She put the ultimatum down that I cannot just have sex with him, and I don't want to have sex with her anymore. So it's supposed to be over.

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       4 months ago

      I'm seeing a married man 2years now. We met in high school, we were friends/trouble buddies. I was in a relationship with someone els back then and we only kissed once on accident in high school. When we graduation he left immediately to the military. I lost all contact and thought I'd never see him again. 8years later I randomly find him online super bowl Sunday. I emailed him and was excited to get a response, couldn't believe after 8years to have found him. We talked back and forth for a few days and set a day to meet and catch up over dinner. The moment he arrived at the restaurant I felt a indescribable sensation through my body. I was shocked with the attraction I was feeling toward him. We talked for over an hour,then the overwhelming tension between us became so obvious he called it out. We were both blindsided by the chemistry. We decided to go talk in the vehicle and the moment I closed the door the tension was irresistible. We immediately started to make out, and tho we both knew what we were doing was wrong, he's married, i have a boyfriend of 8years, we couldn't stop. The electricity between us was something I've never felt before. We ultimately had sex right there. I have never in my life had a one night stand nor ever had sex with any man the first date. It was the most trilling amazing sex of my life. I was shocked with my actions. The next day we talked about what happened and it happened again

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      AC123 4 months ago

      I am so lost in my relationship with a married man at this point.

      He pursued me at work, and I did not know he was married, but he did tell me on our first date. He was extremely upfront and honest, and very insistent that I needed to be comfortable before anything else happened. I ABSOLUTELY should have stopped right then and there. and I think about that a lot actually. He was seeing other women at this point, and has since stopped and is only seeing me outside of his wife. I believe this to be true only because he could not feasibly have time for anything else.

      At this point I am so deep into this. By October/November he was talking about divorcing his wife, and how he needed to move on with his life. I knew at that point that it was not to be with me, I am not delusional. Late December this faded away and his wife was trying to get pregnant (not via sex). He is so upfront about this information that it is very easy to believe it all. When he told me that his wife was pregnant I really thought that I would be able to end it and that would be my moral high ground, but I am still in it. This was about a week ago and I can already feel an emotional shift. He gets upset at me that I speak of this ending, even though he has stated that we absolutely will have AN end.

      I told him in the last week that I need to start seeing other people now, and he is really against this. Now THIS makes me crazy. He leaves me for his wife and his home constantly. I am the absolutely lowest priority in his life. He has everything. A wife, a baby on the way, a successful career, AND me. It is infuriating. I refuse to speak to people I know about this because it is humiliating. But the feelings are unreal, and he explains them in an eerily similar way. The truth is - I do not want him to leave his pregnant wife. I am not willing to be responsible for that, and I do not want to deal with his shit all the time. It is a bit of a relief to have him so distant from my life. But I am lonely, so fucking lonely. It is like days of pure sunshine and warmth, followed by the miserably, bitter cold times that seem to go on forever. I am constantly beating myself up over it all the time. Why can't I be stronger? Why am I OK being his lowest priority? Why am I ok with anyone treating me this way? IS this what I am worth?

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      Jenny 4 months ago

      This article open my eyes and helped me with a struggle of dating a married man for 9 years. I have shamefully listened and believed every letter of ever word he said. I feel alone, because your right I am. I am the one thing he isn't getting at home. He says he loves me..he says he is leaving her year after year. Same story different day. I feel this has changed me and who i really am. I am so sad and depressed all the time..always unhappy. I see other couple out together and I'm instantly thinking why cant that be me. I feel hard for this man over a 9 year timeframe like a fool!! How do you get over it and on with your life.. ?? That's s a long time to just suddenly no longer have that person you care to no longer be there...

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      First Love 3 months ago

      So I was in love with this guy since the age of 15. He was my first real boyfriend. We shared our first kiss together. He got into a lot of trouble and he moved away and was basically in juvenile prison until age of 17. He was living in atlanta, ga and he had a child with another woman at the time and never looked back to since he moved. I never thought I would see him again, hear from him or ever touch him again. We are now in our 30's. We saw each other 6 months ago at a bar. Apparently he moved home and now I found out after we shared nights together just cuddling, kissing, and he performed oral sex on me, I found out he is married. He says he doesn't love her, he is never home and always stays at his sister's house and that is how we are seeing each other. I am currently engaged and he knows my fiancee. He hasn't threatened to tell my fiancee anything but he doesn't want me to get married. We had a real heated argument and I told him we are just friends, we don't have to ever have sex, and we can just speak from a distance. He agreed to my terms and returned to his wife but 3 weeks later he begged to see me. I told him no, and he showed up to a restaurant I was from looking on my facebook post. I disappeared from my bridal party at the restaurant and we went into his car and down the street and he was all over me. Kissing me, telling me is not going to let me go and he needs to be with me. I am his first real love and he will divorce his wife. He showed me divorce papers he is planning to present to his wife. I told him take me back to the restaurant and lost contact with him after that episode because it scared me. I have been keeping my distance from him but he put a letter in my mailbox two days ago offering to take me to the bahamas on a 7 day cruise and his divorce is final. He says he wants to marry me in the Bahamas and my wedding is the same weekend. I don't know what to do. There is something about my first love that i cant walk away from. But the man i am marrying is the father of my daughter we have been together since age 21. I met him in college and we are planning to spend the rest of our life together. Do I leave my family I created with my fiancee or Go back to my first love who divorced his wife to be with me???

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      Maria Cecilia 3 months ago from Philippines

      the best excuse is this love and priorities are two different things, but without the one either one will work. The married man may love you but his priorities are his children or family, so at least you have that magical feeling that he loves you and an excuse that you can't be together because of the kids, so what to do, follow what the author said hahaha, wish women can think clearly always and have time to think as much, some are just so weak when it comes to matters of the heart

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      Luise Gray 2 months ago

      I know this guy for more than 20 years we used to work together and had a crush in each other. just flirting.He is married and I was also married i left the company 1996 and we never saw each other again but on and off I thought about him. My husband passed a way 4 months ago and he found out in f/b and sent me acondolences message. All of sudden we star talking agian and getting really envolved with hot text messages . He told me he still married but a few years ago he was having a lot problems with his wife almost walk away ..But got marriage conselour she got very depressed and got aadited at the hospital but they tolerate each other he has a daugther but she is by her own. he dicided to see each other for a dinner everting went well but before i knew we were kissing with passion ( before we see each other he was saying just friends nothing more keep reapiting to me) but we broke the is says is very confused about me and his wife..but wants to see me again and me too..He said i don't know wht to do with you and her he says they dont have nothing for a long time she went a deep depression and throughthe menopause she not in to.I'm very confusde but i have fellings for John..

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      Stupid inlove 2 months ago

      I met someone at work and it turned into something more than a friendship. I knew he was married with 2 kids, I was also married but left my husband once I realised I wasn't actually in love with my husband at the time. Exactly like the story, he says they don't sleep together, they don't talk (unless it's about the kids). He tells me his loves me, he constantly tells me he will leave his wife but then exactly like the story doesn't end up leaving due to the kids. He doesn't like me talking about it and it's driving me crazy! I thought I was the only one in this stupid situation so it was nice to read everyone's comments and the story as well. My thoughts are that he isn't going to leave unless I leave him - in hope that he misses me. But sometimes deep down I know that he just isn't going to leave her. It really hurts and it is so frustrating because I feel like he is living the best life although he tells me it's not because he feels he is constantly walking on egg shells in case he gets busted. I just have no idea what to do! When he is with me it's amazing, I feel so comfortable and in love but then when he is with her I just feel so jealous and question everything. I really want to be strong enough to leave him but I just can't!

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      Lisa 2 months ago

      i am married to my husband for 33 years, But i have know this other man for about 7 months , & i do have Very Strong Feelings for him , As he does with me aslo ,We both live in Different States He is going through his Divorce , & he has told me he Love me Very Much & I have said the same And i do Love him Very Deeply with my Heart & Soul , & now i am trying to undersatand what to Really Do !!!Please help me , yes we to Text & thats all we do , But we both have Strong Feelings for each other , Dont know what to do , Please Help Me Lisa.

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      franny 2 months ago

      When I was 16 I dated this guy on and of for three months and then completely stopped talking to him. Now I'm 19 and he is 21 he didn't lie to me he told me right away that he was in a bad marriage that's depressing him, but he can't leave because his wife doesn't have a job and he has an 8 month old daughter. He tells me how he misses me and I have his heart but I don't know if I believe him if he cared for me as much as he says wouldn't he just leave its not that hard to leave someone you don't love

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      Angela4554 2 months ago

      He told me he was married but they are in the middle of divorce.They still live together until divorce is over and have a 17 year daughter.

      I did not even fancy him but he talked me into it.Kept talking about our future and how he only wants 1 woman does not needs lots.He video calls every morning.I think to see I am alone in bed and to show me when at home not in bed with wife.Video shows he sleeps on pull out sofa bed in living room as 2 bed flat.

      Can not do it anymore as can not take spending time with him/ on him knowing he is still going back to sane address as her.we talked from 10pm to 4am the other night over video and on the phone, but kept thinking she maybe at work.Spent whole of next day together.Can not trust him or wait so decided never to reply or answer his phone calls ever again.That is if he does phone or txt.Too much of a headache.

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      Nell 2 months ago

      Hmm there seems to be a lot of store put on whether he lied about being married. So what if he didn't? It's not better, or more trustworthy. He is showing you who he is: someone who will cheat because it suits him. If he is interested in cheating he should be already divorcing. If he isn't he's a liar. Do you want a liar?

      Re getting him to pay things for you: do you steal? Is it ok to rifle through a woman's handbag while she's on the train? Because that's what you're doing. While he's married they're marital assets. If they divorce shes entitled to half adjusted for circumstances. So half of what he spends on you is hers. Yes you're a thief. No the fact you have an accomplice doesn't make a difference, plenty of thefts have inside help.

      Ask yourself would you want to be in his wife's position? I know you feel you're special but she was special enough for him to marry her. And he still cheated. So how special will you be if you take her place? I know I know you're different, she's a cold bitch. How do you know? Because he told you (implicitly by playing victim or martyr, or even explicitly by telling you). He's a man who cheats. He's a man who is currently lying to his wife about his activities while he cheats with you. How reliable do you think his account of his marriage is? How fair is he really being to his wife? And what does that say about him?

      Then there's you. You're not blameless. Do you hit people who are in your way? Do you drive into cars that block you? Do you run people over on the street? No? Why not? Don't tell me because it's illegal. Is that the only reason? Is that really what you'd do if it wasn't illegal? No? Now here's a tip: what you're doing to his wife is a hit and run. I don't care that he gave you the keys and the address and eggs you on. He might have a grievance. You don't. You have no reason to harm this woman. She's just in your way. And you're ok with knocking her down. Her injuries will be far worse than from a hit and run. That's on you. Is that the kind of person you want to be?

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      Halima 8 weeks ago

      Very nice piece of advise I loved it

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      kisu 8 weeks ago

      deeply in love with a married man who has 4 children. married myself with 3 children but no feelings for my husband. I know he loves his wife cos he can't bear to hurt her. But he also professes to be in love with me. been on for months now. He's extremely jealous even of my husband. I know I need to move on but can't seem to find the strength to do so. my husband is too busy with career to even notice or have my time. I have never loved a man this much. I do most of the giving in the relationship. I need strength to move on. pls help me move on.

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      rym 9 days ago

      i found out that he is married only two months from now but i really love him ....he is older than me and a father to five but i can't seem to let him go plz help me i am stuck

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      Nelly mvula 5 days ago

      Married men will always cheat

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