How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man

Advice for Dating a Married Man

You may not have set out to fall in love with a married man, but there are times in life when even the most intelligent women find their emotions getting the better of them. Loving and dating a married man can be extremely painful and seldom works out well.

But this article is not intended to judge anyone or tell you to "just dump him!" This article will openly and honestly describe what the typical experiences and outcomes are in these relationships so that you may be more prepared, educated, and informed about what you should expect, and how to handle it.

Here's my best advice and things to remember:

  1. Remember that his first priority will always be his children and his wife, no matter what he says.
  2. If he lied to you in the beginning about whether or not he was married, you should seriously consider whether or not you can trust him.
  3. Do not sacrifice everything for him. Be independent. Go on dates with other men. Have other hobbies. He's not giving up everything for you, so you shouldn't give up everything for him either.
  4. Your relationship will change if he divorces his wife for you. It will not all be fun and games anymore.
  5. Make your relationship worth your time. Ask him to support you financially, or at least make sure you're getting as much out of it as you're putting in. Don't let him take advantage of you.
  6. Be honest with yourself. What you're doing is risky. Own up to the risk.
  7. Very likely, he will not leave his wife for you.
  8. No matter what he says, he's still having sex with his wife. Don't let your relationship with him keep you from seeing other people.

How many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? Now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man?

Women need to think and act the way men do to find happiness.

Questions to Ask

There are issues to seriously consider if you think that this man may be the one.

  • One of the first things to consider is this: Did he tell you he was married from the beginning or did he lie to you and then have to tell the truth? This will be a major factor as to whether or not you can ever trust him.
  • Another thing to give some serious thought to is whether children are involved. No matter how much he loves you, he is obligated to his children, and if you come between him and the kids, he may resent you in the long run.
  • Is your relationship strong enough to withstand the turmoil of a divorce? How long have you been seeing this guy? One year is about right when it comes to shifting from playing around to getting serious.
  • Right now you may be experiencing the best of the best, but when you are living in the real world together, things will change.
  • Moreover, if he divorces his wife for you, the two of you will go through a lot of sad, and trying times together. Will you still love him as much as you do while things are nothing but fun?

Tips for Women in Love With a Married Man

Don't Sacrifice Yourself for Him

Women need to think and act the way men do to find happiness. How many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? Now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man?

Men never put their relationships first. At least moderately successful men don't. That is why they are happier than women are. Women have a tendency to meet a guy and then focus their entire lives on him. They will stop thinking about attending school or put business plans on hold after meeting someone who sweeps them off their feet.

This is a bad idea even if the guy is not married. But if he is, you have truly just shot yourself in the foot because you have given up a piece of yourself for a someone who belongs to another. You will become more and more resentful over time.

Look at your lover boy for what he is and control your emotions. If he is obviously lying to you to keep you available to him, consider if the relationship is worth your time or not.

Leverage Your Relationship

If he can somehow help you in life by making you more successful, paying your bills, or buying you a home, then you have gotten something to show for your time.

Be Truthful to Yourself

It's a matter of being honest with yourself. If he is married and has no intention of leaving his wife, then he may have been dating many women over the years. Usually when a man has this pattern, he dates the woman until she begins to expect more out of him. Then, he dumps her, finds another woman to sleep with before getting rid of her when she gets tired of being a doormat.

The truth is, a guy will string you along as long as you will let him. It's up to you to look out for yourself and avoid being taken advantage of.

Rules for Extramarital Affairs: Make It Worth Your Time

Ask yourself this question: "What am I getting out of dating a married man?" If you are not getting anything, you should ask the man to make the affair worth your time financially or move on. I am not being judgmental here. But if your guy plays with you for free and then goes home to his wife and plays the husband while you sulk, you are only torturing yourself and being a hooker who works for free. To be wise and economical, it's time to ask your "boyfriend" to help you out financially. This way when the time comes that you are not together anymore, at least he helped you pay your mortgage.

Before you go off on a rant about how expecting or wanting money or gifts is prostitution and that it's all about the love here, remember that dating a married man is not exactly moral either. The difference here is at least you are not being raked over the coals as you would be if you simply smile and put out like a good girl.

You must be realistic here and accept that what you are involved in is risky in many ways. One of the things that often destroys women in your situation is the shock of suddenly being dumped because of something that is happening in his marriage, or because of stress that you are causing him at home. Believe me, when this happens, having that extra money invested will lead you to think, "At least I got something out of it." And that is much better than the feeling of having been walked all over.

I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all.

I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say.

A Real Story of Dating a Married Man

For nine years, my friend Darleen dated a man who was married and now regrets it. Her man told her that he loved her but because he had two children with his wife, he could not leave her. He also said that he no longer slept with his wife, but that they had an understanding. Darleen would tell me that if he could leave his wife for her, he certainly would and that her man often showed great concern for whether or not she was cheating on him.

Love Is Blind

Yes, love is blind. I found myself angry quite often as I told Darleen that if he loved her he would divorce his wife rather than play this game with her. Poor Darleen had excuses for everything. She got on her high horse by stating that if a man has kids he can't leave. I happen to have known several highly moral men who divorced their wives even though they had two or three kids. After the divorce, they took care of their children at least half of the time.

The truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you. If he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important. Or not important enough.

If He Really Loved You . . .

I know that your ego does not want to accept that fact but put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. If you were with a man who you were not having sex with and who you did not love, and you had this man on the side who you truly did love and had a great connection with, would you be content to go home to the man you did not really want, knowing that your lover is single and could easily find someone who is available for him full time?

The thought of it probably sends you into a cold sweat.

Men are concerned with having their woman all to themselves. It is actually proof of disinterest on his part if he does not care who you are with and what you are doing.

If he sees you as a valuable woman, he will know that other men are after you, and he will want to make sure that he gets you before someone else does.

Making Excuses

Darleen made excuses for her married lover for years, and she believed him when he told her that he could not stand his wife and never touched her. After listening to her talk about their intimate discussions, I figured out that her lover had caught on to the fact that Darleen seemed to accept him going home to his wife as long as he and his wife were no longer sleeping together.

Things got a little tricky when his wife suddenly became pregnant. Darleen worked in a building across the street from her lover's wife and was able to spy on her every so often. Darleen's guy informed her that his wife had been bugging him for years to have another baby, and he finally gave in. Not that they were sexual or anything—he explained that in order to touch her, he had to get drunk. The wife had marked the calendar for the day when she was fertile, and they did it just that once in order to have a baby.

The lies can be clever and convincing, but I always say, "Assume that the man is lying until you are engaged, married, or something close." If he is cheating on his wife, he has displayed to you that he is willing to lie, and you have no way of knowing how far he will go.

Should You Be "Faithful" to a Married Man?

If he seems content to let the relationship go on for years as it is, you should see that he is using you for some fun on the side. So, by all means, date other men. Remember, it's not cheating on your part because he is married.

What Cheating Means

I hear that one a lot. The married guy says, "Don't cheat on me." Unless he is separating from his wife, you are free to do as you please and you should. Otherwise, you will find yourself rejected by your married lover and you will be left alone. Date on the side to keep yourself from becoming too attached to this man and to keep reality in perspective.

When Darleen finally listened to me and began to see other men, her viewpoint changed dramatically. Her married lover began to only see her for sex. They were meeting in hotels and were meeting in his car after work. Darleen was not even getting a meal out of it. Sometimes they would go to a bar and have a few drinks and then go to his car.

What a waste of her time.


When she began putting her photo on dating sites, she felt more powerful because she could see that there were a lot of other guys out there. Some of these guys took her to exciting places, bought her nice gifts, and even offered her spending money.

What's the best cure for a man? The answer is another one! When you have a man abusing your emotions, don't feel guilty about seeing what else is out there.

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Comments 27 comments

HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 3 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

hmm...whether the man is married or not, a lot of men do like to play mind games, and of course they like to string many women along at the same time. It is very hard to find one that is honest, matured, and grown up. I believe there are some, but you have to be really careful these days.

JK Burnham 2 years ago

My boyfriend left his wife and I am SO happy. He will marry me, i'm sure of it!!!! I divorced my husband for him. I hope he won't cheat on me like he did with his wife! LOLZ

levertis steele 19 months ago

Poor Darlene! Some lessons are hard, but necessary.

I once had a friend like Darlene. Her married boyfriend said to her, "You love me now, but one day you will hate me." She was too blindly in love to get it, so she assured him of her undying love. He also told her that he and his life slept in separate bedrooms, and she believed it. Eventually, she opened her eyes to reality and was angry and regretful.

My friend eventually met and married another man, but, sadly, she continued her practice of dating married men who used her as a side. Her husband left her after he discovered her infidelity.

For obvious reasons our lives split into different directions, and I do not know what happened to her. Yet, every now and then, I wonder.

Seqoya -Spartanburg SC 18 months ago

Darlene's story is almost similar to mine, except I didn't know my boyfriend was married. I met him at the first job I had finally got, where I was in the prime of my life and in the path of building my career. I made a stupid decision of putting all my trust in a man. I admit I had got lured in by all the things a girl wanted to hear. He did almost the things a boyfriend does in a relationship. He picked me up for work because we worked at the same job, we went out to eat, and just spent time together. But I did however ignore all the signs that he was hiding something. He never introduced me to his family. When we did spend time together it was always at my apartment, he never took me to his place. Women and other people at work would randomly come up to me and tell me something about the things he would say to them and about him and other woman. But he always had an excuse/lie for everything. He would tell me that "my family is not like yours so I don't want you to meet them just yet", or when I would ask why we wouldn't go to his place he would say things pertaining to him basically being ashamed of where he lived. And when I asked why were these random people coming to me telling things about him and other women he would say "they just jealous of us or they only tell you that because they like you" because some men would come tell me things too. After I finally found out about this man, I had went through 3 jobs, moved out of my apartment, had to go back to my moms house, gave all my money to him when I would feel sorry for him in the times when he ran out, I waisted almost 2 years of my life. I should have known and I actually did know in the beginning, that things would never work. I was prophecied to at one time about certain events that would take place in my life. I Ignored the fact that he was 36 and I was 28, which he told me he was 30 when we first met, guess he was just looking for some young girl to fulfill the need his older wife couldn't provide for him. But how I found out that my boyfriend was married, should have been the first place I looked. I ca almost bet it probably would have saved me those 2 years of complete heartache and pain I went through. Facebook can expose a great deal of character about a person's life if you seek carefully. There I looked on his sister's page, which at the time I thought was his sister. I knew he had a deceased sister he always used to tell me about and I remember him telling me he did not have a Facebook. But when I started to become suspicious in the beginning of our relationship I decided to look anyway. Lo and behold he has one! I seen that he only had one picture of this woman on his page. But then I looked a little deeper and found out it was actually his wife. I saw the marriage pictures and pictures of his 4 kids as well. So when I finally confront him and sent him the pictures of him and his wife and him and his kids, he brushes it off like nothing was out of the ordinary. He proceeds to continue our relationship. Still calling and trying to come over to see me. I finally let him come over because I admit I was lonely and hurt and wanted clarity. When he came over we talke, he never really acknowledged the fact that he was married. I never got an "I'm sorry" or an apology or anything, besides the fact of him trying to explain why it went on for so long, he tells me "when you been around shitty people all your life", but does that give him a pass to be just like those shitty people?Why would you want to be just like them? Anyway he did in fact try to still get in bed with me so I basically end up having to fight him off of me. I'm still presently dealing with the pain and am coping with this disappointment that has came about in my life. I know that I am young and have a lot more to learn and are probably going to go through a lot more bad things in life. But I God's favor over my life. I should have kept my eyes on him instead of being lead astray. I am indeed glad I learned in my youth. I am a lot more aware now of snakes that can come in my life duck the life out of you or when the devil is present and is only coming to still , kill ,and destroy. I'm proud to say that I am keeping my faith in Jesus, the one who only comes so that you may have life more abundantly, and will spot the enemy the next time he comes to try to trip me up to stumble and fall.

GlendaGoodWitch profile image

GlendaGoodWitch 18 months ago from California Author

Seqoya -Spartanburg SC----- Thank you for your comment. Your story is typical of what men do to play both ends against the middle. I am very sorry you had to go through that, but, it sounds like you have let yourself come closer to God as a result. That's great! Our society, because it has become Godless, is becoming more and more acceptable of cheating, and lying men, and most women, in these times, have resigned themselves to what happens to them. I good friend of mine is blindly going through a similar situation right now. He is a fireman, and can only see her about every two weeks.

He has no children and has not introduced her to his mother. This is after more than two years into the relationship.

She is a very liberal woman, meaning, she is willing to fall for every unconventional way of life/lie that he explains. I hope she comes out of this as wise as you have.

Letty 14 months ago

thanx for all your comments they really helped me.m in love with a married man but now our love is 'sour'.he calls or text only when he wants sex and i get nothing out of it.he told me that he does not get satisfied in bed with his wife bcoz the wife gets tired before he ejaculates. recently i got to know that his wife has just given birth to their third child. m tryin to move on but i cant find someone of m age only older and married man.

GlendaGoodWitch profile image

GlendaGoodWitch 14 months ago from California Author

I am very sorry that you have suffered in your relationship with a married man. Just put things in perspective. You are not getting anything out of the relationship and therefore its not worth your time. It takes time to move one, but, picking up hobbies is one way to both take your mind off of the failed relationship and at the same time provides opportunity to meet someone new. Golf, zumba, tennis, ect.

Diana 14 months ago

im dating a married too.The wife m hz family knows abt me bt e wife has nvr insulted nor confronted me n I jc wonder why? im e one who smtyms hv a pro call him at night jc to ca

use conflicts btwn him n hz wifeHe stl cums to me n saes he loves me.He supports me financially bt stl I wish I had met him first.The wife once packed n went n he nvr followed it was nearly a divorce bt both families fixed things fr them.Im confused dnt know weather to mve on or wat.He nvr lies to me, hz honest abt him n hz wife he does tell wn thy are in gud buks n not.He doesnt wanna lose me.

amethysty 13 months ago

I'm dating a married man. I met him at my job and now he is always around. He tries to be around as often as possible, but it's not enough for me. He is married, and says they have an open relationship. Also, this wife never seems to get jealous. He has already told me if he divorced he would feel more guilty bc of his child.

I've already decided that when the wife pulls the plug he will be gone. He's my good time and I set him to building projects and other things I need when I can. He likes to bring food to my place, take me out and drive me to and from work. I am afraid I am starting to get clingy, but I try to just remember he already chose his priority. Thinking about leaving is not the same as leaving. He's already told me he loves me, but love isn't enough.

RoseyDee 12 months ago

I am not sure my story fits but in the end I am dating a married man. We met in 1995, he was 23 and I 25. We are both from one of the most beautiful Islands in the Caribbean. He pursued me relentlessly but at the time I was preoccupied with life and pursuing a career. He professed his love for me but instead we became friends. He never hid the fact that I was his first love and the woman who broke his heart. We joked about it for years but moved on with our individual lives. He got married to a beautiful woman and had 2 children. I was excited and happy for him. Shortly after he married, he migrated to a neighboring country for work but some how he never gave up even when I rebuffed his suttle advances. We remained very close friends. I migrated to Canada for school in 2007 with my boyfriend with the hope of committing to marriage and a new life. 2 years later I bailed on the plans, as I realised I wasnot in love with him and instead returned home. It was obvious then that I was holding out because I was in love with a married man, which is against everything I was taught growing up. I think he tried as well to deny his feelings but anyone who is around us picks up on it. My family have realized and expressed concern for me and my reputation. To break of the relationship/friendship I migrated again in 2011 and is now living and working in New York. Every time I return home on vacation he finds me and we fall back into our old habits. We met up in Orlando last week and stayed at this beautifully luxury hotel. We tried to put things on the table and he confessed that in his 10 years of marriage I am the only woman he has cheated with on of his wife and all he wants to do is to spoil me. I have prayed and ask for the strength to move on with my life as I know he is a good person and I believe he has a good marriage. However, whilst in Orlando I did the most selfish thing and asked him to father a child with me. Maybe its an ultimatum or a wicked escape strategy but this is what I truly want. It is something we have discussed in the past and he agreed to prior but never came to fuition and I want to try again. Funny though, in all those years he has never given me gifts or helped me out financially. I guess I have never asked, hmmm!!! Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep as I wish to have a family of my own, which I am now accepting may never happen as I spent many years being in love with a married man. I take full responsibility for my state of unhappiness as the decisions taken were all mine. Although I often accuse him of manipulating me, I am the hot head and he is the calm but calculating one. He is now a VP at a local bank and I work in a comfortable job in NYC. I am back in NYC and him back home with his family. I love him and realize will always do but I need to move on with my life. Embarrassing as it is there was a time I prayed for his marriage to fail. I love him but don't want to find myself in this same position a year from today. I have given to many years of my life as it is. they say acceptance is the first step to moving forward

GlendaGoodWitch profile image

GlendaGoodWitch 12 months ago from California Author

Thank you for your story RosyDee. I truly feel for you. I hope that you will devise a plan to accomplish your dreams. This is how people get what they want out of life. It is not unusual for a woman dating a married man to hope that his marriage fails, but, its definitely not productive. If you think about just the facts of this scenario, he is having his cake and eating it too. Its very interesting how its almost always the man who has his wife, his kids, and picture of a nice life, while the mistress just pines for him and longs for a baby.

I have seen this happen to women too many times.

First, if you have a baby out of wedlock with him it will not really solve your problem, it will temporarily mask it, but, will eventually lead to bitterness between the two of you. You, like most women, want a family of your own, but because you are with him instead of a single man you cannot have a family with him. This is where you have decided to simply settle for a "mock family". If you were pregnant right now you would feel relief and happiness immediately, but in a few months that happiness would go away and you would feel as you do now. Like you don't have the whole package.

You would be envious of women who are taken to the hospital by their excited husbands, and would be trying to hide, (I assume he wont announce this baby to his family). You and the baby would be in the shadows while he and his "legitimate" family live openly.

Also, a child's future is important. That should be number one when having a baby. Statistics have revealed that children who are born to single mom's do not do as well in life, suffer from depression, and overall are not living in a very positive, family, environment.

You should keep praying for strength and please make an effort to change your life. You may even see what his reaction is to the suggestion that he leave his wife, stop living a lie, and get serious with you. This should be very revealing to you. Many women who have very loving and fun relationships as you have find that when the guy leaves his wife, things change, and all the good they were enjoying is gone. Others discover that they guy does not really care at all. If this man really loves you it will kill him to think that he is robbing you of a good life and he will want to do something about it. Bottom line.

lorreta 5 months ago

I think am inlove with a married man.BUT what worries me is that he will never leave his wife for me

Carol Sinclair 4 months ago

My married man advertised himself as separated on a dating website. He lives about two hours away. He later confessed to still living in the house, but sleeping downstairs. I stopped sleeping with him, yet we continued to talk and go out for dinner.

Then I became very sick and he saved my life by getting me to a hospital. I was in a coma and bed-ridden for 2 months and then had to learn to walk again. I lost my hair and physically am not the same person, but he is still around and paying for my many expenses.

I have rationalized this relationship for now. His generosity has made this difficult situation bearable. Perhaps he will leave her soon, or perhaps he won't. But, I can't forget this man who has stood by me when he has no obligation whatsoever.

Kimmie Sue 2 months ago

I was dating a married man..he left his wife once then he went back but ended up leaving again. Then we begin to live together. As time went by I saw a change in him, it's like I was becoming the enemy knowing I was there for him through it all even when he left everything and lost his job, I kept him on his feet...I believed if he could've went back to her he would've. But now he's avoiding me and making up excuses as to why he don't want no one right now and faulted me for falling in love when he didn't have a problem at first

myself 6 weeks ago

Well... Right now I'm completely, madly in love with a married guy. I'm not dating him, but he already gave me tips that he also feels like kissing me... He didn't tried anything yet. I wonder if he's not completely sure that I actually want to be with him, or if he realizes his feeling and mine, but prefers to be loyal to his wife. Or maybe he's playing with me. Who knows... All I know is that if only I could kiss him, God... That would be like paradise. I don't want him to leave his wife. All I wanted was to kiss those lips and that's all. That would be enough to make me so happy.. I wouldn't care if he said to me that he wouldn't leave his wife. That's ok to me. I just wonder if he would insist on having sex with me, because then I could be in doubt if he really feels something for me or if he just wants me as a peace of meat. Maybe I would feel like shit.. I could if he could treat me like shit too, because that's what many guys do when a woman accept to have sex with them without commitment. So maybe if I said to him i would only kiss him, without having sex, maybe he would respect me? All I wanted was a chance to kiss those magic, irresistible lips...

Gloriousconfusion profile image

Gloriousconfusion 5 weeks ago from United Kingdom

My feeling is that a leopard never changes its spots, and if you get involved with a married man, he is likely to lie to you like he lies to his wife, and ultimately, if you get together, he will be unfaithful to you just as he was to his wife.

Clemens 4 weeks ago

I'm an unhappy married Aries male. There are some special reasons that I cannot get divorced. But one day it will happen. Just not now. I am not a cheater but I deeply need love. Recently I met a lovely Leo woman at an online dating platform. We had a great, long conversation. I haven't had such a good conversation for ages. And we have many common things. She's on a business travel now and I miss her so much. I know it sounds crazy but this is how I feel. We talked about dating one day. I am 100% sure, when we meet, there will be fire and we'll want to be more and more close to each other. She's so precious. I deeply care about her. And don't want to hurt her. She's someone that I want to keep whole my life. I love and care about her so much, so deeply, even at the risk/cost of loosing her. Because I am planning to tell her the truth, that I am married. It's so hard for me. Even now.. when writing these.. my heart pains. First, I thought to tell her truth after we get intimate. Because I want her to experience me, my love and passion. Then maybe she'd accept my situation because she will fall for me. But this is selfish, right? Should I tell her the truth after or during our casual date? Because if I tell now, I mean from online platorm, there's a possibility that she might not want to date me and would not talk to me anymore. I want to see her, look into her eyes, hear her voice, feel her smell, talk to face to face at least once in my life. That's why I want to tell the truth after our date. I am sure we are meant for each other. I don't want to loose her. I want to be friends and stay friends till the day I get divorced. And even ready to see or hear that she's dating other men because she has a life. Just want to keep in touch with her. Love her so much.. Please advise about when to tell her the truth.

Myself 3 weeks ago

Hello, Clemens. My opinion is that you should meet this woman, but tell her about the fact that you're married BEFORE you start kissing and having sex... Because if you say that after you have had sex with her, she could feel USED by you. Do you understand? But anyway, tell her when you meet personally, because through internet, there's a risk that she'll never talk to you anymore. But personally, it would be easier to convince her about your point of view... Well, that's my opinion. Anyway, one thing is certain: you must tell her the truth!!

Confused 3 weeks ago

I know someone from work 5 years ago and we kept in touch over the years. Both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. She doesn't have any kids and 10 years younger than me. I have 3 adult kids and a wife. Just realized lately that I still like her. We went out for dinner and drinks and finally had the courage to kiss her a few times and we held hands. Told her how I've kept the feeling for so long. Now she's telling me that she's not ready to be in another relationship. We are supposed to have a serious conversation after that incident but I'm afraid she will reject me on that day. Am I just being paranoid? I'm guessing that she likes me too because I did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? She told me that we will be having that conversation over coffee (not dinner). Is that any indication that she sees the incident as a mistake and is trying to steer clear of that ever happening again? She still answers my calls but will not respond to my emails or text messages if I include sweet nothings. Am so confused.

Confused 3 weeks ago

I know someone from work 5 years ago and we kept in touch over the years. Both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. She doesn't have any kids and 10 years younger than me. I have 3 adult kids and a wife. Just realized lately that I still like her. We went out for dinner and drinks and finally had the courage to kiss her a few times and we held hands. Told her how I've kept the feeling for so long. Now she's telling me that she's not ready to be in another relationship. We are supposed to have a serious conversation after that incident but I'm afraid she will reject me on that day. Am I just being paranoid? I'm guessing that she likes me too because I did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? She told me that we will be having that conversation over coffee (not dinner). Is that any indication that she sees the incident as a mistake and is trying to steer clear of that ever happening again? She still answers my calls but will not respond to my emails or text messages if I include sweet nothings. Am so confused.

Julia 2 weeks ago

I am dating a married man, he never told me he has a wife, we only meet once in a month, he comes to my house to have sex with me, but he don't support me financial or may be I don't ask, he don't spent a lot of time with me. I want to end the relationship but he insist that he love me immensely. and he want a baby with me. I don't know what to do.

marie 2 weeks ago

i am currently seeing a married man who is my boss. i have met his wife...he has two beautiful kids. however we started seeing each other so surprisingly as we became friends first. we are basically the same person. his wife doesnt work and he works really hard to give them a luxurious life. currently the wife and kids lives away and he is back here...he travels to see them every now and then . i love him and i think he loves me...he says it and shows it alot but i know what i want and it is not this predicament at all. i am not seeing other people ...never been that type and the fact that he is and i know it eat sat my very core.... i said i would start seeing people but i am just not that type so i think it is time i call it quits... regardless of how much he says he loves me...and i love him too... i just dnt believe in dishonesty , nor am i materialistic so whatever he does for me really doesnt count as i am able to do it for myself....we are so happy together except when something triggers a memory of teh reality of teh situation or when he gets jealous or somethng.... please help me... i am really hurting knowing what i must do and figuring out how to do it .... his mom likes me alot and everyone already assumes we are together ... and compliments us i writ ethis i am so heavy hearted... i just dont believe in making myself happy at the expense of others , though he says they have grown apart and she doesnt even know him. in fact he says that he stayed in the relationship to make sure his kids had a balanced life...

MariaB 2 weeks ago

So I met this wonderful guy that turned out to be married and has 2 kids and I have a boyfriend that we have been together for 3 years now.

At first it was just friendship and I was going after him even thought I didn't know he was married with kids but once he told me I still went after him thinking I wasn't going to catch feelings since he reassure me that besides having sex nothing else was going to happen. Before we even had Sec. The first time which btw was great, we talked everyday after work at work and during work. Everything's was going good but I was the one who caught feelings first and I was in pain for so long but since he would always say "you have to be realistic and nothing else is going to happen between us" i got I guess over it. During the conversations we had he would tell me about his previous affairs and how we was a manwhore and he had left his wife once got bored of the girl and went back home. he would tell me he had dated hot as fuck girls and how he would fuck them etc.. So everything he told me helped me to straight out my feelings and decided not to leave my boyfriend. Times passed we still talked all day when ever he had time he would bring me food from work but me ice cream treat me really nice, buy me medicine when I got sick and I would cook for him when he was sick send it with someone buy he clothes, food and other things. I was ok with just seein him knowing he was ok. After a while he would tell me that he loves me that I make him feel like any other girl had made him feel. That he always thinking about me and cares about me. He started getting jealous of me been with my boyfriend (he knew I had a boyfriend he was ok with it) he didn't wanted me to have sex with my bf. I told him that why shouldn't I have sex with my bf if he has sex with his wife and I don't tell him anything. He says that it's different the situation is more complicated because he has kids I told him so ? You left them once why can't you do it again? He said I wouldn't do it again? That brake me into pieces because I have deep feelings for him. I have serious feelings for him but I'm afraid of leaving my boyfriend turning him maybe into an asshole and for what ? Someone who is not willing to give up everything for me while I would in a blink of an eye give up everything for him? I love him hurts me knowing that he gets "hurt" and hurts me more that I'm cheating on my boyfriend but I just don't love my boyfriend anymore I got used to him. He is nice loveable understands me spoils me but is just doesn't think further into the future he doesn't want to succeed in life, in the other hand the other one wants to move on in life he makes plans for me and him into the future. I just don't know what to do I'm in pain and I don't want to hurt neither of them. I know I'm been selfish but I can't help it

Alina 2 weeks ago

I have been having an affair with a married man a little over a year now. I am very much in Love with him. There are periods when we don't see each other for weeks at a time due to his work schedule. And sometimes we see each other twice a week! It's emotionally challenging to say the least. Very high highs when we are together and very low lows when we part. This isn't his first rodeo. Men are better at compartmentalising then us woman. I try to prepare myself for the day it ends, but I am just not ready. Any woman having an affair, I feel for you. It is very lonley. Focusing on self love, hobbies, & putting ourself out there to meet elibable men is important.

Angela 10 days ago

I was in a long distant relationship for about a year and a half. We were in love, but when it came time to relocate he wasn't ready financially. There were another factors, ptsd, depression and unwillingness to live life to the fullest. We were very opposite. This story thickens... During our relationship I met his family and they loved me as I well liked his loving family. When meeting his family I met his twin brother who was everything my boyfriend was but with few differences as we had more in common. For two months after meeting his brother we stayed in contact. He was easy to talk to and our common interest made conversations interesting. My boyfriend continued to lack communication "while still states apart" I often communicated with his brother more. As another two months passed it was apparent my boyfriend wasn't making any moves and time was standing still. I eventually broke it off. His brother and I became good friend and he was there for me. It's been 4 months since we broke up. I haven't heard a word from him, but I've stayed in touch with his brother. What makes this story difficult is during the last four months feelings developed between the brother and I, and well this wasn't intended to happen. One, his brother is a married man and two, I was indeed in love with his brother, but the conversations continued and now feelings have developed into mutual attraction. We are making plans to see each other as he is also in a different state. We have never talked about where this is going, but he has mentioned telling his brother about us and how he feels about me, but has never mentioned mentioning it to his wife. We're are falling hard for each other. I don't know how this happened or what to except from this day forward. I've never been involved with a married man who is also my ex boyfriends brother who I still care about deeply. Please any advice will help. Lay it on me!

Helen 5 days ago

I'm in love with a married man, we have been together for almost 6 yrs. Its the same scenario as above, tells me he loves me, sleeps separately from wife, she has gone off sex, he won't leave cos of kids. I feel trapped by my feelings for him. I know if I give him an ultimatum it will hurt very much so I stay as I am for now. Its easy for people to be judgemental until you're in the same position. Some people say they wouldn't put themselves in this position but you can't help who you fall in love with.

Eagle 2 days ago

What a great article. Just what I needed in times like this. Thank you to everyone sharing their stories too, they make me feel less lonely :) Time to start loving my single life again!

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