Writing Love Letters is Romantic...and Sexy
Call me old fashioned, but I like someone putting effort into letting me know they find me attractive. Sending a string of emojis in a text just doesn’t cut it!
The great thing about writing is that some people feel uncomfortable or silly saying certain things, and honestly, dirty texting (or sexting) is impersonal and lacks imagination and effort. It’s time to revive one of the most romantic gestures of all time- the written letter. Spice it up for sex appeal!
As much as writers like to consider themselves gifted, the truth is anybody can write if given the proper motivation: the object of your affection!
Writing a love letter with a little bit of sugar and spice and everything naughty will make your partner feel extremely desirable. Follow these tips and see where it gets you—you won't be disappointed.
Step 1: Use Flattering Adjectives
- Know your subject. Hopefully you already know the recipient of your love letter fairly well. If you don't know them well enough, writing them a sexy letter could be creepy unless you approach with delicate admiration, and an invitation to know each other better. Study this person carefully and notice small details about them. Unfortunately the more you know a person, the more you tend to overlook the small thoughtful stuff. It’s time to get reacquainted! The more specific the details, the better, because it shows romantic admiration, and it's just plain flattering.
- Say my name! There is nothing sweeter than a person hearing (or reading) their own name — it's backed by science!! Try to use the person's name within your letter in a personal way.
- Some points to study are their smell (in a good way), their movements, their favorite things, how they sip their coffee, how they walk, how they flirt, the way they dress, and their quirks that most people wouldn't usually notice (i.e. the way you wrinkle your nose like an unruly school girl who cheated her way to my heart). You can even use their favorite love songs as inspiration.
- Flirt!!! Capture your method of flirting in your writing. Delivering “lines” comes off as cheesy so you want to capture your own method/style of irting. Flirting is a sexy ritual! Write like a romance novelist is creating the scene between you and your leading partner. What first attracts you? What led up to the bedroom/sexy scene (minus the sex)? Of course, leave a little to the imagination of your reader. What is the conversation and body language between you two? FYI romance novels make great inspiration!
- Great adjectives to use are: Smoldering, deep, taunting, wicked, fervent, spicy, curious, adventurous, playful, enticing, enchanting, silken, lush, impassioned, sultry, torrid, dirty, white-hot, feverish, impressive, insatiable, unstoppable, and addictive. Make sure to include some adjectives unique to this person about their actions or appearance.
The reason for using tasteful and creative adjectives like the samples above are to stir up emotion in your partner — get them to use their imagination too.
You don't want to chase them away with anything vulgar or distasteful. Think of love poems or letters as foreplay and foreplay is best when you are in the moment, not thinking or expecting anything, but simply paying attention to the details about your partner.
Step 2: Think Like an Animal and Use Great Action Words
- Think like the animal you are and how this person makes you react to them. A naughty love letter must have action, and animalistic action is raw and intense and engaging. It takes no prisoners. It's not degrading to use verbs related to animals if used tastefully in a passionate way.
- Use words like taste, arouse, tempt, linger, savor, ruthless, tremble, hunger, lick, attack, attract, sense, pounce, inhale, devour, prey, excite, anticipate, hunt, and pursue.
Step 3: Get Dirty
This is where you combine your descriptive and action words and explain what you would do with (or to) this person the next time you get a moment alone with him or her.
Everything you mention should be non-threatening and flattering. It should especially be pleasurable for your lover (i.e. I thought of your silken skin pressing hungrily into my eager flesh, which only served to remind me that I need to know everything about you before my self-control erupts. You delight me, you tempt me, but most of all I enjoy every bit of it and I want to show you just how much I crave you).
An extra special naughty love letter is not purely about sex — it's a combination of sexuality, class, taste, love, and lust. It's perfect to renew a spark in a long-term relationship or a new relationship in the starry-eyed romantic love stage.
Step 4: Put It All Out There
Do you know why we buy more than we really need or want? Because of sales techniques, including the use of trigger words. Selling words are also useful in writing a love letter; it's all about selling yourself and your "services" (wink wink) to make yourself appealing and simply irresistible.
Selling words include: Revealing, powerful, gripping, luxurious, genuine, daring, lavish, deserve, unlock, guarantee, obsession, emerging, monumental, fascinating, superior, pleasurable, fresh, authentic, stylish, ample, and compelling.
The Dos and Don'ts of Writing a Steamy Love Letter
- Do write this letter with an accurate representation of what level of intimacy and commitment your relationship is at.
- Don't mention the word love for the first time in this letter. It's meant to be playful and hot, not deep and involved. Likewise, if you love the person and they love you, do mention this or something similar about how strong you feel for them—use feeling words along with sexy words.
- Do consider who the recipient is. Write this letter to a lover, a very special someone, a spouse, or a girlfriend or boyfriend—perhaps a crush (carefully considere...and availabl). Definitely not to someone you barely know or someone you are stalking anonymously.
- Don't speak only of physical needs—many people are attracted on a mental level too. Speaking of physical needs, try to concentrate on phrases and words that describe meeting and satisfying your partner's needs.
- Don't be a turn off. Don't be rude! Don't be disgusting.
- Do have fun!
Patti-Cakes from Benton-hell, AR USA on July 14, 2019:
How do I follow this, I'm new here. I'm looking for ideas to write hubby a sexy & saucey naughty letter
Thanks in advance. Sorry to sound like a perv.
mts1098 on June 20, 2015:
great stuff here - I like the animal approach - think I will create a hybrid - naughty talk when she wears those animal panties - except on June 22nd ;)
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on June 06, 2015:
Sandy Mertens from Wisconsin on June 01, 2015:
Love it. Now I know how to write a naughty love letter.
Rodrick Lewis from Online on July 22, 2014:
Interesting...I like it.
Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on July 22, 2014:
A very classy and interesting approach to a talk dirty love letter :). I was pleasantly surprised with your hub :). It was well thought through and written brilliantly. Thank you for sharing.
Janus Joshua Angeles from Philippines on July 12, 2014:
*Snatches a pen and paper.*
Dear Crush, ...
mosaicman from Tampa Bay, Fl on May 04, 2014:
Izettl, hubs like these are what makes Hubpages awesome! This is a very interesting topic. If I get the itch to write one of these letters, I will use your advice. Great hub.
Tim Mitchell from Escondido, CA on March 30, 2014:
I grinned a grin of glee and memories too. Great advice article with down to earth wisdom laced like a fawn traipsing close to the forests edge . . . daintily peering deeper within. (Just practicing :) I will bear these hints when next writing such a letter across the Atlantic. Thank you for sharing and guiding izettl.
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on February 18, 2014:
My advice would be to write something specific to what you do know about him. And adding some things in about getting to know them better, perhaps even forming some questions to open a dialogue up.
schatten2014 on January 16, 2014:
okay so i know this is gonna be weird for me to ask so be gentle okay lol...i have someone i wanna write a letter to. There is chemistry BUT i haven't met him in person-long story. Anyways since i am shy anyways and add to that the fact that we have never been together i am not at all sure how to do this...hell ive never written a letter like this before anyways...any pointers would be helpful....OR LOL someone could write it for me hahhahaa...thanks for you patience
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 17, 2013:
Thanks for stopping by. Busy summer or else I would have got back to the comment section sooner. Glad you enjoyed the sample...a friend of mine writes erotica short stories and we bounce ideas off each other all the time.
Yes, get to know this guy better and you will have some great material to gain even more control. It's such fun and great foreplay, innocent foreplay ;-)
lovedoctor926 on July 03, 2013:
My imagination is running wild.. What a creative hub. I need to study this person more, but I would love to write this letter. I am a tiger or lion and this person really knows how to push my hot buttons, but yet he says that I have a lot of power over him. lol. Thanks for the helpful tips and suggestions. This is a hub worth visiting.
I like the example you used. "I thought of your silken skin pressing hungrily into my eager flesh, which only served to remind me that I need everything about you before my self-control erupts. You delight me, you tempt me, but most of all I enjoy every bit of it and I want to show you just how much I crave you)."
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on July 01, 2013:
Just practice mimi!
mimi on June 26, 2013:
I love these tips but im not so good at this n my husband is overseas n a sexy letter would be a nice surprise for him ...wish I had your n jeanines talent
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on June 22, 2013:
Amanda Jones on June 12, 2013:
Some good tips, I really appreciated it.
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on February 19, 2013:
Mkan~ I've read a few erotica novels and you got that down pretty good. I wouldn't know how to give a professional opinion though cause I don't write that genre. Those types of books are gaining popularity within the mainstream readers if you ever considered writing professionally.
I know you just wanted an opinion and if I didn't have to watch out for the all mighty hubpages rules I'd let it stay up, but I got to keep it as clean as possible. Thanks for stopping by.
Mkan on February 02, 2013:
I am so sorry! Never the intention. I wanted your opinion as a writer. I guess this is not the same subject matter exactly. I apologize.
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on February 02, 2013:
Hubpages will make me delete my hub if you write stuff like that.
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 20, 2012:
Raj~ some good ones in there...some a little bit like cheesy pick-up lines, but you're on the right track. Make it more about the other person- instead of you being dessert, how about them?
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 20, 2012:
Thanks so much Alicia
Alicia Blagrove on August 18, 2012:
I love the tips in this hub! You're right on point.
raj 8423369251 on April 07, 2012:
I might forget the score of the big game, but I’ll never forget the hot and sexy action you and I got into after all our guests left. Here’s to more… scoring, baby.
I find you to be absolutely mouthwatering.
Thank you for the incredible bath and massage last night. I can’t decide whether it’s more exciting to get dirty or clean with you!
You make me feel warm and wet in all the right places.
It doesn’t seem to matter how many times you and I make love; I still want to do it with you again. Here’s to another 10 years of fabulous sex.
Are you ready to feel me wrapped around you again tonight?
I’m a little sore, but I can’t seem to wipe the incredibly satisfied smile off my face today.
Let’s meet at our favorite restaurant tonight. After that, I can be dessert.
I have several places I would like to have lightly bitten. Know anyone who could handle that for me?
How fast can you get me out of my clothes? I’ll help.
I completely forgot to wear any underwear today.
Would you like to see me on my knees, mouth open, ready and waiting? Meet me in the bedroom at 10:30 pm.
My hands are so warm and I wonder if you have something I could… play with?
I’ve been quite naughty. What are you going to do about it?
I can’t stop thinking about the hungry way you were looking at me last night at the office party. Still hungry?
The way you kiss me on the back of my neck makes me want to take all my clothes off.
After the kids are in bed tonight, I have an ache I need you satisfy
Jeanine on October 25, 2011:
jeanine on October 25, 2011:
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on October 25, 2011:
Jeanine~ wow...wow...wow. THis is a lesson unto itself. I hope people read this to see how its done- this really showcases your writing strengths. Bravo!!
jeanine on October 25, 2011:
The large country porch had been her sanctuary for most of the day, but now as she stood facing the sun the chill of the late afternoon air was beginning to affect her. The cooler mountain air that her friend the sun had kept at bay most of the day now seemed to press closer as she folded her arms around her own body to push away the on coming evening air. "Where is he?” she said out loud as her eyes scanned the horizon into the large trees. Her big yellow dog looked at her, then in the direction of her gaze, almost wondering was she speaking to him or did he miss something while he slumbered. The silhouette of her small body in a sheer linen dress still had the effect she wanted but she was no longer comfortable. She was cold in the damp air coming off of the mountain. "Well, he missed it puppy, lets go inside and get warm by the fire" As she walked into the house, the dog followed close behind, the only sounds were that of the screen door slapping against the facing and the cool crisp air coming through the large red woods that had attracted her father to this spot up the mountain so long ago. Are you hungry big boy, as she gave him a treat? She stood facing the door with her backside to the fire. MMMMMMM that's better she thought, folding her arms, her hands cupping both of her breast." Where is my sweet man……. Puppy? And what is the deal with him and that river", she laughed out loud as she shook her head. The fire was now warming her back so she turned holding out her hands. The light was fading as the sun was setting on another glorious but lonely day for her. The shadows seem to take over the main room of the house. Standing by the fire was having the desired affect and as she listened to the rhythm of the flames and the popping of the wood, the dancer inside her heart began to come alive. She closed her eyes, her hips began to sway, arms soon reaching toward the sky, and the tip of her tongue traced her upper lip as she began to perform a sort of primal dance for an audience of one. The warm fires deep inside her own body could always be ignited by the music that ran constantly in her head. Soon, she did not care, for she knew of a place she could go where she was never alone. Inside the dance! As she continued to move, her muscles lengthened and contracted, working constantly to bring her there, to the point of need, her release. Her forehead perspiring from the heat of the fire, her muscles began to lose their water in a slow steady sensuous sweat. Each drop rolling down her long slender neck past her breast, joining their friends around her waist. Her flat stomach rose and fell with each beat within her being. Sweat was a good thing for a dancer and all her water, the sweat in the small of her back; the crease in her beautiful bottom seemed to be heading to one place. "Home" is what her man had called it and all of her concentration had suddenly shifted to the contractions she could feel building in the valley of no return. Her legs and her amazing bottom were now moving on their own as her eyes fluttered in and out of reality. She had now, like so many times before become a willing passenger to her deepest desires. She heard a familiar footstep on the porch but was to far in to her own place to run to the door. As the dog moved to the door, she began to float across the floor, never losing her place in her dance of seduction. As her man opened the door she stood between he and the fire, eyes, legs and lips poised at an angle where she left no doubt to what she wanted and even needed at this point of her own arrival.... She smiled and silently whispered his name. As he stood watching her, she continued her inner dance and moved closer to him. She stopped short of touching him and danced... she danced. He stood obediently by and watched the silhouette of her totally nude body in a now evermore damping linen dress. She continued, finally taking one of his hands, pulling him toward her chest, He touched her blazing copper hair, she was wet with desire, his hand she placed further down her body and whispered "Home" ...................
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on February 21, 2011:
jeanine~ I am bottling that up like a rich and fervent wine or the finest perfume garnered from far away gardens.
Loved it! Every word. Beautiful words as usual.
Jeanine... on February 21, 2011:
I fall short, telling her how I feel... walking by... I can't help but notice her gate... I recognize her laugh in the crowd... her fragrance compliments each garden as she walks...there.. just ahead.... Her wisdom... though unconventional is a place for me to convene....I'm in forty years...I still sigh.. catching my breathe. .. clueless on becoming one...with the one...that's been the most beautiful one.... to me!
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on February 02, 2011:
Gerg~ Thanks for the comment.
Gregory S Williams from California on February 01, 2011:
This was fun! Love the list of animalistic action verbs ...
naiksuresh from Bengaluru on January 06, 2011:
You are great writer...
Gift from my side too.. LOL
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on November 09, 2010:
missmilky on November 07, 2010:
Thank you Izetti.Very helpful advice!
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on October 23, 2010:
Thank you heartalker!
hearttalker on October 22, 2010:
Very good advise A plus
geofawunyo from London on August 25, 2010:
Great post, I wish I know how to write but a lesson for
Just a gift for your comment
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 25, 2010:
I think the most important aspect of any love letter is incorporating specific details to make the person feel special. I know many guys, though, who try to write a love letter and use too raunchy type of sexual details. So I hope some of the words and examples in my hubs are tame enough to keep it sexy, not grotesque or tacky. Also, I know a man really appreciates a love letter too so this can remind women of that as well.
Thanks for your input must65gt. I'll check out your hub.
must65gt on August 24, 2010:
This is a well written hub and a nice read. I can't say I agree with all your points, however you did bring out areas that many relationships lack. I believe that a love letter may not need the steamy erotic verbiage to instill feelings. And so I offer this for your review. Thanks for a nice read.
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 23, 2010:
dawnM~ You're right. the ideas in this hub only go so far without adding the personal details. Thanks for the comment.
Dawn Michael from THOUSAND OAKS on August 22, 2010:
great advice and I love the words it is very true and also knowing intimate detail about what the other person likes it shows that you are interested and have been paying attention to them.
SurferGirl1 from California on August 22, 2010:
great hub izettl...I really enjoyed it!
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on August 04, 2010:
foggyfrog~ just wanted to give a little inspiration, some creative juice, etc. Thanks for your compliment
foggyfrog from Northern California on August 04, 2010:
Great hub! It seems like one would know how to write such a letter, but when the time comes...the words evade us! Your hints are useful and appreciated. Thanks for your help!
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on July 30, 2010:
WINSOME~ that is so cool!! Well no actually HOT with a hint of sugar and double shot of sexy! Made me smile- actually I don't think I need my coffee this morning, that perked me up.
Winsome from Southern California by way of Texas on July 30, 2010:
I saw you in the coffee shop
Like a dark Tanzanian french roast
You stirred my sleeping thoughts
The strong essence of you awakened
And moved me to motion
My hand brushed yours as we reached for the cup
"Sorry," you said, "I thought it was mine."
"That's Ok," I said, "I thought it was yours."
Thanks for a fun hub Izzy =:)
Brianna Wills from USA on July 27, 2010:
Laura Izett-Irwin (author) from The Great Northwest on July 25, 2010:
Christoph Reilly- aww you flatter me even if it's just for practice. I can't remember the last time I received a love letter or poem. I think I wrote my hub for me- wishful thinking- lol.
Martie coetser~ I was hoping to get across what you got from it. Words count and truly good or well-written love letters (naughty or not)can still be tasteful- "entice or repulse" is a good way to put it. Thanks for reading Martie and hopefully your sister can put this to good use.
kamran100~ thanks for the comment and compliment.
Huey19~ I'm glad I could supply you with some inspiration and go write your soldier.
Amy from Chicago on July 25, 2010:
Izetti, I loved this article. The topic alone drew my attention, but the content was interesting. I'm a creative writer so it inspired some love poems of course. And it was helpful because I have a soldier over in Afghanistan right now. Thanks for your insight!
Kamran100 on July 25, 2010:
so nice and sweet article. nice tips.haha
Martie Coetser from South Africa on July 25, 2010:
Izetti, this is a hub to be read by all people-in-love, for many of them just don’t know how to express their feelings and desires verbally or in writing in a sensual, non-disgusting manner. Words DO count – it can entice or repulse. In contrast with my mother-tongue (Afrikaans), English comprises many sensual words, suitable for passionate, erotic writings. I’m going to mail this one to my sister – after 25 years of marriage she and her husband fell in love with each other for the THIRD time! LOL! And I can clearly see (on Facebook) they need some of these words.
Christoph Reilly from St. Louis on July 24, 2010:
a great post and great advice. I'm anxious to get started but have no one to send it to. May I practice on you?