Laura writes from the Pacific Northwest where she enjoys reading, researching and writing on relationships, social issues, and psychology.
Writing Love Letters Is Romantic and Sexy
Call me old fashioned, but I like someone putting effort into letting me know they find me attractive. Sending a string of emojis in a text just doesn’t cut it!
The great thing about writing is that some people feel uncomfortable or silly saying certain things, and honestly, dirty texting (or sexting) is impersonal and lacks imagination and effort. It’s time to revive one of the most romantic gestures of all time- the written letter. Spice it up for sex appeal!
As much as writers like to consider themselves gifted, the truth is anybody can write if given the proper motivation: the object of your affection!
Writing a love letter with a little bit of sugar and spice and everything naughty will make your partner feel extremely desirable. Follow these tips and see where it gets you—you won't be disappointed.
Step 1: Use Flattering Adjectives
- Know your subject. Hopefully you already know the recipient of your love letter fairly well. If you don't know them well enough, writing them a sexy letter could be creepy unless you approach with delicate admiration, and an invitation to know each other better. Study this person carefully and notice small details about them. Unfortunately the more you know a person, the more you tend to overlook the small thoughtful stuff. It’s time to get reacquainted! The more specific the details, the better, because it shows romantic admiration, and it's just plain flattering.
- Say my name! There is nothing sweeter than a person hearing (or reading) their own name—it's backed by science!! Try to use the person's name within your letter in a personal way.
- Some points to study are their smell (in a good way), their movements, their favorite things, how they sip their coffee, how they walk, how they flirt, the way they dress, and their quirks that most people wouldn't usually notice (i.e. the way you wrinkle your nose like an unruly school girl who cheated her way to my heart). You can even use their favorite love songs as inspiration.
- Flirt!!! Capture your method of flirting in your writing. Delivering “lines” comes off as cheesy so you want to capture your own method/style of irting. Flirting is a sexy ritual! Write like a romance novelist is creating the scene between you and your leading partner. What first attracts you? What led up to the bedroom/sexy scene (minus the sex)? Of course, leave a little to the imagination of your reader. What is the conversation and body language between you two? FYI romance novels make great inspiration!
- Great adjectives to use are: Smoldering, deep, taunting, wicked, fervent, spicy, curious, adventurous, playful, enticing, enchanting, silken, lush, impassioned, sultry, torrid, dirty, white-hot, feverish, impressive, insatiable, unstoppable, and addictive. Make sure to include some adjectives unique to this person about their actions or appearance.
The reason for using tasteful and creative adjectives like the samples above are to stir up emotion in your partner—get them to use their imagination too.
You don't want to chase them away with anything vulgar or distasteful. Think of love poems or letters as foreplay and foreplay is best when you are in the moment, not thinking or expecting anything, but simply paying attention to the details about your partner.
Step 2: Think Like an Animal and Use Great Action Words
- Think like the animal you are and how this person makes you react to them. A naughty love letter must have action, and animalistic action is raw and intense and engaging. It takes no prisoners. It's not degrading to use verbs related to animals if used tastefully in a passionate way.
- Use words like taste, arouse, tempt, linger, savor, ruthless, tremble, hunger, lick, attack, attract, sense, pounce, inhale, devour, prey, excite, anticipate, hunt, and pursue.
"Everything you mention should be non-threatening and flattering. It should especially be pleasurable for your lover."
Step 3: Get Dirty
This is where you combine your descriptive and action words and explain what you would do with (or to) this person the next time you get a moment alone with him or her.
Everything you mention should be non-threatening and flattering. It should especially be pleasurable for your lover (i.e. I thought of your silken skin pressing hungrily into my eager flesh, which only served to remind me that I need to know everything about you before my self-control erupts. You delight me, you tempt me, but most of all I enjoy every bit of it and I want to show you just how much I crave you).
An extra special naughty love letter is not purely about sex—it's a combination of sexuality, class, taste, love, and lust. It's perfect to renew a spark in a long-term relationship or a new relationship in the starry-eyed romantic love stage.
Step 4: Put It All Out There
Do you know why we buy more than we really need or want? Because of sales techniques, including the use of trigger words. Selling words are also useful in writing a love letter; it's all about selling yourself and your "services" (wink wink) to make yourself appealing and simply irresistible.
Selling words include: Revealing, powerful, gripping, luxurious, genuine, daring, lavish, deserve, unlock, guarantee, obsession, emerging, monumental, fascinating, superior, pleasurable, fresh, authentic, stylish, ample, and compelling.
"Don't speak only of physical needs—many people are attracted on a mental level too. Speaking of physical needs, try to concentrate on phrases and words that describe meeting and satisfying your partner's needs."
The Dos and Don'ts of Writing a Steamy Love Letter
- Do write this letter with an accurate representation of what level of intimacy and commitment your relationship is at.
- Don't mention the word love for the first time in this letter. It's meant to be playful and hot, not deep and involved. Likewise, if you love the person and they love you, do mention this or something similar about how strong you feel for them—use feeling words along with sexy words.
- Do consider who the recipient is. Write this letter to a lover, a very special someone, a spouse, or a girlfriend or boyfriend—perhaps a crush (carefully considered...and available). Definitely not to someone you barely know or someone you are stalking anonymously.
- Don't speak only of physical needs—many people are attracted on a mental level too. Speaking of physical needs, try to concentrate on phrases and words that describe meeting and satisfying your partner's needs.
- Don't be a turn off. Don't be rude! Don't be disgusting.
- Do have fun!