Do you really love your wife? The usual response to this question is, "Of course, I do!" Well, perhaps you do love your wife and you mean well; however, are your actions demonstrating your love to your wife? Chances are, they are not! Most husbands love their wives, but do so only in their minds. In other words, they don't demonstrate their love. Perhaps, they think it isn't necessary to demonstrate their love. Well, why wouldn't you want to demonstrate your love? For a woman, it is very important to know that she is loved, especially once she gets married. As the years go by, a woman may feel insecure about her physical features and may start to question whether her husband still loves her and values her the same way as he did years before. Unless, as a husband, you demonstrate your love in tangible terms, these insecurities may grow and the relationship might suffer. Even otherwise, isn't it just so much better to make your wife feel special every day? Assuming you are a husband who wants to make his wife feel special, here are some ways you can!!
Things To Do To Make Your Wife Feel Loved and Appreciated
GIVE YOUR WIFE YOUR TIME: Husbands often get so immersed in their work that they spare no time for their wives. How sad is that? The "not having time" is just an excuse. You can find time, if you really want to. If you are a loving and caring husband, ask yourself if you have seriously tried to find time for your wife? The honest answer to this question would be a resounding NO. Work is important and Yes things can get hectic, but with a little bit of planning, you can definitely find some time just for your wife. She'd love it if you make the effort and take her out for a lovely dinner or just spending some alone time with her talking, reminiscing, loving!!
SURPRISE HER: Who doesn't love a pleasant surprise? Wives are no different. They get used to a monotonous, often boring routine, so there's nothing better than a good surprise to make her feel loved. Gift her with some flowers or something she's always wanted, but could never get herself. Write her some love notes in a place she'd easily discover, after you've left for work. She'd love the fact that you took the time to write those loving words for her.
SAY IT WITH SPOKEN WORDS: Don't be shy to tell her the evergreen words "love you dear," or "love you darling." They may feel cliched to you, as a husband, but they truly will make your wife feel loved all the more.
THE LITTLE GESTURES THAT MATTER: Most men don't think much about holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. However, to a woman, these are important gestures that show her how much you love her and care for her and appreciate her. So, do hold your wife's hands and hug and kiss and make her feel special that way.
REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT DATES: Well, aren't men just so awful remembering anniversaries and birthdays! I need not tell you that for women, it is very important that you do remember. Well, make a real effort to remember the dates that matter. Your wife would feel delighted that you consider them important enough to remember. Also, make plans to go out on a dinner, for example, and do gift her something special that she'd always wanted.
BE THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEEDS YOU: This does not just mean that you be there only when she is sick, but also that you pay attention to her body language and recognize when something is troubling her. Often, women may not share what's troubling them. However, by keeping the problem to themselves, they stress themselves out more and so try to read her body language, and if you notice there is something that she's not telling you, devote some time to be with her and ask her patiently.
SHOW HER YOU REMEMBER HER: When you are at work, call her or text her a couple of times a day. She'd feel delighted that you took time from work to give her a call or text her. Say a few loving words and tell her how much you think of her and miss her.
COOK FOR HER: At least once in a while, give her a break and do the cooking yourself (if you know how to, of course).
HELP HER OUT WITH HOUSEHOLD CHORES: It is demanding work - doing chores around the house. Your wife does it day after day. It is tiring and just as (if not more) demanding as an office job. It is often a thankless job too - in the sense that no one recognizes their efforts. Wouldn't it be wonderful, therefore, if you were to help her out on occasions at least. Help her out with chores around the house and let her know how much you appreciate the work she does in the house. She'd be happy that you recognize.
BE A GOOD LISTENER: Yes, you are busy all the time, but when she needs to talk to you, put aside everything else and listen to her a 100%. She deserves that, doesn't she? Switch off that TV and all other distractions and just hear her out. She does a million things in the house and probably she needs to share some of her frustrations, may be she needs to discuss some important issues - give her a patient and focused listening - not the sort of listening that you do with your ears and eyes focused on the television.
MAKE HER LAUGH: Yes, you are stressed out yourself often times, but so is she!! She isn't enjoying a holiday at home. She's often doing an office job and managing the house at the same time or staying at home and doing all the chores. It isn't any easier or less stressful. So, make her laugh when you can and help her release the tension that has got built up during the day. If you can't do that much, put on a fun movie to watch together - that way you both would get some much needed laughs to lighten up your mood.
WATCH YOUR WORDS: Marriage isn't easy and fights are common in marriages. You cannot avoid fights, but you can watch what you say during those fights. Try not to say things that hurt and sting - even after the fight is over. Don't make references to her not being attractive, not good enough, piece of whatever...among other things. Remember, words cannot be taken back and there are some who remember such words and feel hurt - even though you may have not meant it, or said it in just a fit of anger. In short, watch what you say and treat your wife with the respect that she deserves.
KNOW YOUR WIFE'S PHYSICAL NEEDS: I don't have to tell you that this is important. Get to know what she really likes. You won't know, unless you take the time to talk to her. Some wives may be shy to discuss this, so give them time to open up and try to understand them fully. You wouldn't feel good, would you, knowing that she isn't loving it just as much as you are! Respect her wishes again and don't force something upon her.
BE CLOSE WITHOUT BEING PHYSICAL: Women don't always want sex. Sometimes, they just want to hug and snuggle/cuddle and be close that way. Understand them when they feel like this and just do that - snuggle, hold hands, be close!!
GIVE HER FREEDOM: Allow your wife to pursue her interests - don't limit and shackle her. Encourage her to learn the things she loves. Support her and be there for her. Take an interest in what she loves!!
A good husband shouldn't have a problem in doing any of the above things. Making your wife feel loved isn't hard - it just takes a bit of effort on your part. As the years go by, you tend to take your marriage and your wife for granted. You start giving her less of your time, less of your attention and less of your love. You may feel love for her inside of you, but how would she know that - unless you demonstrate your love to her in tangible ways.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2010 Shil1978
Shil1978 (author) on December 08, 2017:
I'm sorry to hear that your husband doesn't care anymore. Have you tried changing your look, have a makeover? I know it's sad that you have to do anything at all to catch his attention but try it. Change your wardrobe, your look. Be confident, be outgoing. Be a whole new woman, that he doesn't know.
Maybe that would translate into him giving you more attention and love. Keep pictures of your past times lying around in places he'd find them. He'd probably get in touch with his feelings for you again that way.
Engage him by asking his opinion on stuff, compliment him on something he's done right. If you think you have a nagging tendency, try to tone it down. Some of the things that come to mind. Try it and see how it goes. Best of luck!
Me on December 07, 2017:
I have been with my husband for 9 years and one Tuesday we will bear tied for 3 we have no kids no money issues but he just doesn’t love me anymore I’m 30 years old and it’s sad that my husband and I have been best friends since I was 15 and he just doesn’t care or try anymore. I’m so lost
ddg on June 22, 2015:
thanks shil, for the lovely , inspiring Hub
Ann on June 27, 2012:
This is soo true..I been married for the past 14 years but my husband has loose interest on even kissing...I'm a really passionate woman and I like the attention,hugs,kisses, etc..and my husband thinks by just coming out of the blues and putting down my pants and having sex is a marriage...he's being doing that for the past 9 years..And I think that I already stop loving him he killed the love that I felt for him by pushing me away...I had met this other guy 6years ago and he give me the attention that my husband didn't show me...so me and my husband separate for like a year...after I decided to get bck with my husband and we had another baby...but he continues to act the same way..now recently the same guy that I met 6 years ago is back in my life.. Now I BELIVE everything happens for a reason and if he's back in my life is for a reason...he gives me the attention the love and the passion that my husband does not show me I feel Difrent with him...now I dnt know what to do because I dnt want to hurt my husband....what should I do I feel soo confuse :(
rmcleve on April 24, 2012:
It's sad to me to think that people would need this hub to love their wife, but I think it is a great reminder of little things you can do to light the spark in the relationship.
Plus, it works for women, too!
Sky Penguin on March 17, 2012:
I think all the pointers are great. But how about wives
lightening up a bit. I mean in a very stressful time like
this we all must learn to give and take. You see we all
experience the same things with the exception of a few hormonal and other biological differences between male and female etc. I think the key is both man and wife must posses a strong mind. By this I mean we should all at every point and time understand each others needs, desires, personality, history, religious preference etc. With a strong mind alot of the things husbands are encouraged to do should not be necessarily the key to making a woman happy or to maintain a great relationship between couples. There are many factors otherwise that should be considered most important. These include comitment and respect to one's marriage, wife or husband and interest in keeping one's spouse inspite of the ups and downs. I think people are becoming to petty in spousal relationships and what they consider most important. Many of these romantic gestures sometimes are not relevant. But to some folks they are. The unfortunate thing is the absense or lack of romance has been creating strains in marriages. I think we ought to go back to the bible. Go back to the good old days. The days when there was not so much to see and desired or lust after. These were the times when wives respected husbands and there vows. In this time we live in, I think too much attention is given to the basic things and not the most important. The fact that a man and woman would get married with good intentions only to realize a few months or years later that the real motive is overshadowed or forgotten because of selfish eys and attitudes is a curse. Whether flowers, money, a surprised trip or a dream house, a nice dress, a beautiful and expensive car or fabulous shoes, none is greater than the comitment a husband has towards his wife. All of these things are extras. They should not be demanded or be considered as things wives are entitled to. I think the wives who complain about petty things are imature, miserable and suffer from too many insecurities. Get up, do some exercise, read a book, pray, visit the elderly or help another wife especially if young to be strong and wise. These are the qualities needed to make a good and awesome wife. It is not the other stuff. The wife must first be true, wise, discret, sober, loving, patient, kind, soft spoken, prayerful and the like to be good. And by possesing all these good qualities a husband will lay his life over and over to protect his wife and provide for her. But now with all these grumpy characters divorce is rampant and husbands are getting more and more dumb to love and to give love. Any one can disagree it's ok. But I think wives must do what GOD Almight says and all these little things will be automatically stirred in their husbands heart to give unto them. There is no doubt about it.
Shil1978 (author) on March 16, 2012:
Thank you, dayakthinker, for stopping by and commenting. I couldn't agree more with you - you are absolutely right!!
dayakthinker on March 15, 2012:
The only way to make your wife happy is by being extremely sensitive and observant to her body language. If you read them well, you are the best husband on earth. Good Luck.
Shil1978 (author) on January 05, 2012:
@ Ingenira, thank you for stopping by and commenting! Glad you liked this hub. Thanks for tweeting and voting it up - appreciate it!!
@ Bernard, beautifully expressed. What a wonderful way to convey your views on the subject. Thanks much for stopping by and commenting!!
BERNARD LEVINE from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA on January 05, 2012:
HOW TO PLEASE YOUR LOVED ONE
Imagine the look on your loved one's face
discovering a secret love-note
hidden in the fridge
or when they find an apple
that has a ribbon tied all-around it
placed under a pillow.
For a very exciting reaction, leave flower-petals
floating in the bathwater.
Do something special for your loved one today
trying different pleasant ‘surprises'
and the flame of love will burn forever brightly.
BERNARD LEVINE from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA on January 05, 2012:
SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE
Make your love one feel special everyday.
Do not allow your lives to become routine -
prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.
Never take your loved one for granted.
Keep your love forever precious,
sacred and beautiful.
What you put into your love
is what you will get out of your love.
Enrich your lives with prayer.
Always be your partners best friend.
© Bernard Levine
Ingenira on January 04, 2012:
Beautifully written. Many excellent tips.
Voted up and tweeted.
Shil1978 (author) on October 28, 2011:
Thank you, Gen-Rev, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked this article. You are quite correct in all that you state, I agree completely! Yes, that would be a good addition to the list. Thank you for suggesting it :)
Gen-Rev on October 28, 2011:
Great article, Shil, I think when a husband carries out many or all of these things, it sets a great tone for the relationship and helps the wife be the best she can be in terms of loving and respecting her husband. I'd like to add one more thing to your list, that of taking full responsibility for the children for at least a short time every week, if there are children.
naturalsolutions on September 21, 2011:
When a man truly love his wife, he will do everything for her wife even they are so busy. A husband should sustain the happiness and warm of their relationship.
brennawelker on September 17, 2011:
Great article. Useful.
Shil1978 (author) on September 12, 2011:
Eswar, you are welcome. Look forward to hearing how things worked out for you. Do wait at least a couple of months though - you may not see quick results and one month may be too short to see a change. This is of course assuming you follow your part and keep your anger in control and have lots and lots of patience.
Eswar on September 12, 2011:
Sure, I will try my level best to keep myself in control. What every is said is true, I should have kept quite when she is bringing past, that may be reason, she is thinking i am not regretting with my past actions.
thank you very much for suggestion. I will keep doing more homework to be calm and action in peace.
I will post you back the comments after 1 month and let you know my phase. thanks for all valuable suggestions.
Shil1978 (author) on September 10, 2011:
Eswar, there are some things that are in your control and some that are not. For example, controlling your temper and keeping your patience is in your hands, but how your wife reacts or feels is not.
So, as a first step, you should really be controlling your anger and keeping your patience much, much better than you have been doing so far. It is no good to keep a control of your anger/have patience - if you are going to lose it pretty soon. So, try and become much better at doing these two things.
Your wife may not be able to forget your past actions that might have caused her hurt and she may keep mentioning it in the future too, but just remember that this is something that you can do nothing about.
She has to come to the realization that you have changed for the long term and then gradually she will stop mentioning the past to you. That can only happen when you stop losing your patience and go back to square one often.
When this happens, all your good work comes to nothing. You have to start all over again and your wife too stops believing that you can change.
Control your anger and have lots and lots of patience. Do not react when she mentions past events that have hurted her. Just reassure her that it won't happen in future, but if she keeps repeating the same things, keep quiet and keep stressing that you are making an honest attempt at changing and by your actions show that you are doing so.
If you can keep your anger in control and hear her out with patience when she complains without over-reacting, am sure she will be more likely to believe you and give you an honest chance.
Eswar on September 10, 2011:
I am Eswar, husband of Swapna. I know i hurted her sometimes with my immeturity on few things that i really dont know. Once i realized they are wrong. I apolized her and made sure i never repeat them again. I always Love her and i have no dare to loose her. I always tried above tips however when ever i loose temper after extended talks, i go back to square 1.
However, whenever we have some clash on any thing, she starts bringing the same old topic that i hurted her 4 years back and she starts from scratch. I tried keep my mouth shut and always remind her, please forgot the past. But she never forgets that. After sometime, i loose my patience and start shouting at her. And she never forgets any clashes, she always stores in her database. I requested her, i begged her for not to bring past topics. Once we get clash, she never tries to come back to me. Once she didn't talked for 8 days. I am worried and it increased distance between us and I started going to her after any clash.
Please help me, what to do. May be i am writing this in a wrong chain. However, a woman can understand Woman. That's the reason, i am writing here. thank you. Hope you give some tips to keep her happy.
Shil1978 (author) on August 29, 2011:
I feel for you and I sure do hope that your love is reciprocated. Have you told her that you love her? This article was written for husbands and how they can make their wives feel loved.
I guess she just doesn't care, but its amazing to see your persistence. I am no one to judge about whether you should continue persisting, but for your sake, I hope she appreciates your persistence and finally reciprocates your love for her!!
All the best!!
Trying on August 29, 2011:
I flirted with another woman 7 years ago and still trying all i can to make her feel loved by me. I do everything there is to do. I leave notes everyday, a rose in a car everyday, clean the home, take care of her every need for the last 6 years with barely a hug now and then. I tell her I love her constantly. I send her messages but it seems nothing is working to bring her love back. I have put it GODS hands with my last option. Everything in this column, I do and more. Its hard but i keep trying. At least she is still there.
Allen clladius on July 04, 2011:
I talk to her and try to keep her happy but i dont get any good topics to speak about so it would be great if u suggest some
Shil1978 (author) on April 18, 2011:
You are welcome, Tony! I loved writing this hub. Yes, sometimes, we do need to be reminded - even though these things might seem simple and obvious! Thanks for visiting by and commenting :)
Tony L Smith from Macon on April 18, 2011:
thanks so much Shil, needed to be reminded of these things with a few extras
Nirav Dave from Rajkot on February 18, 2011:
My pleasure to read this page, thank you for giving such a nice information....
Shil1978 (author) on February 18, 2011:
Thanks, Nirav, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked this hub :)
Nirav Dave from Rajkot on February 16, 2011:
Good thoughts and one really need to implement to make his wife happy...
I think out topics are matched...
Really good work...
save-marriage-now on February 15, 2011:
Great tips that should really be helpful to any man and a plus in helping marriages thrive. Thanks for an excellent hub with excellent advice.
Kamran100 on January 17, 2011:
wOnDeRFUL HUB, GOOD TIPS! I ENJOY READING!
Shil1978 (author) on January 13, 2011:
Thank you, gajanis, for stopping by and commenting on this hub. Yes, most men love their wives very much, but don't demonstrate that love - either because they feel they don't need to, or because they just don't think about it.
gajanis from Pakistan on January 13, 2011:
Excellent hub....all very workable tips...only needs to be taken seriously by husbands to show their love and affection to their wives....the problem is that many times men just don't show their love towards their wives even though they love them very much....so love needs to be reflected in all the gestures and acts.Thanks.
Shil1978 (author) on January 13, 2011:
Thanks again HPwriter for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub useful :)
hubpageswriter on January 13, 2011:
This is such an awesome hub. All are good tips and I think being a good listener is a total bonus point for most women. Thanks for sharing all these good tips, Shil.
Shil1978 (author) on December 18, 2010:
GRP, really glad for you that you have a man who does all those things. You are lucky and, yes, it is not easy to find such men these days. Wish you a wonderful future with your man :)
GlstngRosePetals from Wouldn't You Like To Know on December 18, 2010:
I really enjoyed reading your hub and it's so true. I have to say that I'm blessed to have a wonderfull man that does all of these things but it took a very long time to find that loving man, to find a man that understands a woman and what she needs is not easy to come by in this society today. Great Hub!!!
dgicre from USA on December 16, 2010:
I followed your advice, maybe it will help me score a few extra points with the love of my life. Excellent Hub!
Shil1978 (author) on December 16, 2010:
Thank you, Deborah, Lilian and Andrew for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked this hub :)
andrew mogbolu on December 16, 2010:
What a good site.;..So much good information for a man...thank you
Lillian Dmairi on December 16, 2010:
What a good site.;..So much good information for a man...thank you
Deborah J. Myers from South Jersey/ Philadelphia on December 16, 2010:
Shil1978 (author) on December 07, 2010:
Thank you, 'wearing well,' for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub useful enough to bookmark :)
Deborah Waring from Lancashire U.K. on December 07, 2010:
After nearly nineteen years of marriage your hub is extremely valuable in reminding men and women of the small things in life that matter the most and don't cost the earth either to put into practice to maintain a happy partnership.Knowing that you are appreciated is definitely key to a successful healthy relationship:)
Bookmarked for friends in need of marriage guidance!
Shil1978 (author) on December 05, 2010:
Hi Anjali, yes of course - words are just as important. I wouldn't disagree with that at all. Thanks for visiting by. Always a pleasure to have you around and hear your interesting perspectives :)
anjalichugh from New York on December 05, 2010:
HI Shil! What a coincidence! Yesterday only, one of my friends told me that he has written a book on 'being a better husband' and the book should be out in print in next couple of months. We were discussing practically the same things you mentioned in here.
'Action speak louder than words'...that's an old saying but with the changing society I think the old thought process should also be seen in a broader spectrum, meaning thereby that words are also important; I guess more important than actions, sometimes. I'm sure you would agree on that.
Yet another great hub. :)
Shil1978 (author) on December 04, 2010:
Yes, Andy, you are right. Life does not make it easy to remember the little things, but you can make the effort to remember to!! Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)
andycool on December 04, 2010:
Nice hub... as a loving husband I always try to demonostrate my love and affection to my lovely wife. But sometimes life becomes too difficult to remember the nice little things that you mentioned in this hub. Thank you so much!
Shil1978 (author) on December 03, 2010:
Glad you loved this hub, Marie - thanks for stopping by and commenting :)
Maria Alicia Cardenas from Spain on December 03, 2010:
lovely hub!!! nice tips...