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How Can I Find a God-Sent Husband? I'm Tired of Waiting

July 31, 2010
July 31, 2010

On July 31, I will be married four years. I am really grateful to God for blessing me with my husband. But it was a long, long journey for me to walk down the aisle. I can truly relate with all the Christian women who are waiting on God to send them a husband. That was me. You see, I married for the first time in my 50s. Yes, I was one of the rare flowers who refused to settle, and who waited an eternity to marry.

It troubles me when I see the desperation in Christian women and women in general these days. In the African-American community, it is even worse as the ratio of men to women is excruciatingly low. Where are all the good men we would ask? The common answer would be: he’s either already married, in jail or gay. When an available brother would join our church, all the single women would pounce on him like a piece of meat- like bees to honey. It is not surprising how commitment has flown out the window--these guys can have their cake and eat it too. Why? Because we allow them to out of desperation. Some of us just can't be without a man. Our worth is determined by who is on our arm.

We accept anything to not have to be alone. I refused to be in that category. Don’t get me wrong, I cried a many tear. I was hurt and taken advantage of in some situations, but in the end I realized that it was all a part of God’s plan for my life. So if you are amongst the single women in the world and especially if you are a Christian, here are my tips to be patient and allowing God to send your husband to you.

Get Busy Working for God

I was and still am very busy working for God. I found that when I was busy working, I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself because I had no one. If you are a Christian, you want your mate to see you busy working for the Kingdom. In the midst of my wait, my Pastor asked me to start a singles ministry at my church. At first I said no, but then God revealed that leading a ministry like that was all a part of His marriage preparation plan for me. I led our ministry for over 10 years. Leading the singles ministry showed me things that I had done wrong in my dating relationships. It helped me to grow in my relationship with God and as a person. It helped prepare me for marriage.

Let Him Find and Pursue You

He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). If you want your husband to have favor, let him find you. Let him pursue you. It’s okay to show an interest, but these days, the art of pursuit is lost. Women these days will ask a man for his digits, ask him out and pay the way. No! No! Ladies…God created man to be a hunter. Hunting and pursuit is innate in his makeup. If you are doing all the hunting, you've taken away what God created him to do. Furthermore, if you are constantly pursuing, how do you know for sure that he’s just not in it for the ride? Let him pursue! Let him be what God created him to be. I've heard women say “well he’s taking too long”. Please understand and listen when I say that God wants the man to take the lead in relationships. He wants the man to pace the relationship. When women take leadership roles, we can expect disorder in our relationships because we are out of God’s order.

Work on Yourself

What are you doing to make yourself valuable in a relationship? What are you bringing to the table? Strive to improve yourself in education, career, finances and in your walk with God. If you want a Godly man, then you must become a Godly woman. If you want someone debt free, then you should become debt free. You attract what you are. Can you cook? The old adage, "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is true. Just as man was created to hunt and lead, women were created to nurture. Feeding your family is a part of nurturing. Learn to cook the basics and then expand your skills. Take this time to prepare so when he is presented, he will see your worth.

Don't Waste Time on Relationships That Aren't Going Anywhere

If you know this person is not husband material, let him go! As I got older, I did not have time to waste in relationships that were going nowhere. My common line was "I don't think I'm the right person for you". It was better than saying he wasn't the one. Trust me, God will not send you someone if your hands are already full. Why should he? Empty your hands so you can fully receive what God has. Don't waste your time.

Pray for Your Husband Now

Pray for your husband. Whoever and wherever he is, start praying for him now. Pray that God will make him what he needs to be for you and to make you what he needs as a help mate. Pray for his career, his decisions, his finances, his relationship with God.

A mutual friend introduced me to my husband. They were attending the same church which was a different church than I attended. She was led by God to introduce us. As it turned out, we already knew one another- we went to high school together and had not seen each other in over 30 years. During all that time, God was preparing him for me and me for him. It took a long time, but you know what--it was worth the wait. You can be assured that if you wait on God, it will always be worth the wait.

Comments 178 comments

SavvySyi profile image

SavvySyi 4 years ago from Florida

Very true and very useful! Thank you. Even though I'm in a relationship, I still realize how hard it is just to keep a relationship. Women have gotten so viscous these days. There are so many songs on the radio telling women its okay to take another women's man and to laugh about it her face. Its very hurtful and with so many bold women out there, you got to stay prayer-ed up. One woman stepped to me and told me that "I need to watch out because my man is a good one and anyone would do anything to get him." In these times very true and just sad.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 4 years ago Author

So true. Women don't respect marriages and committed relationships anymore. They fail to realize that if he does that to his wife or significant, he'll do the same to them if presented another opportunity.


itsladyo profile image

itsladyo 4 years ago from Savannah Ga

The bible teaches us that patience is a virtue and that we should strive to be a virtuous woman, hence a woman of patience. Be not anxious for nothing...let God work on you and who He desires for you and when he is finished making you compatible for him and him compatible for you, He will bring you together. We as women have get busy working on God's purpose for our lives and trust him to answer our prayers.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 4 years ago Author

So true. Thanks for your comment


LoriLang profile image

LoriLang 4 years ago from Snoqualmie, Washington

You are so funny: "Where are all the good men we would ask? The common answer would be: he’s either already married, in jail or gay. When an available brother would join our church, all the single women would pounce on him like a piece of meat- like bees to honey[!]"


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 4 years ago Author

It is the truth!


Sally 3 years ago

I think what you have said is 100% the truth. I was in a relationship for 2 years and because it was long distance, I made excuses for him. I was like "its expensive for him to call". Which was true because he was not working at the beginning of our relationship, however this meant that I unknowingly fell into the leadership role of initiating the phone calls, emails etc. Then when he got a job it seemed he was used to me calling that he never did. I then talked to him about it and we agreed that the problem was that I wanted him to take the lead on calling me in as much as I called him when he was unemployed. To cut a long story short he NEVER changed and even went over two months without calling, texting or emailing me. I then sent him an email in June 2012 ending the relationship which he NEVER acknowledged. Then in December 2012 after 6 months of no contact he sends me an email saying he wants to wish me a happy new year and continues to pray for me. I have not responded and don't intend to. You see at the time I did not feel I was taking a leadership position. I justified calling him based on his circumstances at the time. Now I realize that when you love someone you will make sacrifices. Although he was unemployed he was making small pocket money on the side, which admittedly was ad hoc but still he should have made an effort. This guy was a close friend of the family and both our families knew each other from when I was young. I have moved on now and have really worked on my spiritual life, charter of a wife etc. I will never understand why he treated me the way he did but one thing I know is that I gave it my best shot and walked away with my head held high. Even when I ended the relationship I was very polite about it and simply said that I was looking for someone more committed and ended my email by saying God bless you. I know the foot steps of the righteous are ordered of the Lord. They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Sally: Thanks for sharing your story. It took me sometime to realize that when a man is really into you, you don't have to initiate anything. We make it so easy for them. All your friend had to do was sit back and wait for you to call. He never initiated anything and truth be told, may not have been into you. That's why when you stopped calling, he didn't call. Actions speak louder than words. I'm so glad you woke up. Keep waiting and God will show up and show out in your life!


laura 3 years ago

Reading all these comments makes me wonder about my story. I'm a single mom, with two kids you see, never been married.

I often liken my life to rahab the prostitute's... not that i've been that decadent sexually, but well i think if God could give her a second chance with an Israelite one of HIs own chosen people, surely He'll give me a single mom a second chance too.

In today's world of economic hardship, how many men want a lady with kids? I can't regret my children though, or send them back in order to be picture perfect.

i have days when i think i'm financially independent, hardworking, good cook, etc i'll make a man a good wife, and there are days when i think with my brood no one's going to want to approach me ever!

Let HIs will be done.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Laura: Don't give up. God's word says He will give us the desires of our heart. I heard a minister say once that means he will literally put the desires He has for us in our heart. This completely changes the meaning. He can put the desire that aligns with His will in our heart. I'm a firm believer that if His will is for you to remain single, somehow, your desire to marry will diminish---that is if you are in line with His will. Therefore, since you desire it, in time, you will receive it. God wants you to completely depend on Him first, then He will allow you to depend on a Husband. Make sure your priorities are in order. Be patient! That is the hard part. Stay in touch!


RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 3 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

Good, sound counsel. I especially appreciate your emphasis on letting God be God rather than obsessing on trying to find a mate. I, too, married later in life, and can testify that God can bring people together in ways they literally can't see coming. Good job.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Thank you so much for stopping by!


savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

"... the art of pursuit is lost." True. You are correct in stating that women need to let men do the chasing. Honestly, it just works out so much better and it is so much more natural than the other way around. Great job!


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Thanks for stopping by!


Kasman profile image

Kasman 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

My wife and I prayed for each other before we ever even met. The Lord brought us together in some pretty miraculous ways. This hub touched me as it brought me back to when I first met my wife before we went on a trip down to Brazil together for missions work. He gave us 40 confirmations that we were supposed to be together and then had us court one another for a while before we married. The Lord even told me I had to ask her father for her hand in marriage, talk about alien to me. I had never done that before.

And you're right about working on yourself. The Lord told me that things had to change in my life before he would bring my love along.....oh and also that I couldn't date! That sucked at first, but hindsight is 20/20 right? Voting this hub up as very useful!


Barbara 3 years ago

Reading your article has been very inspiring for me. I am a young woman and I desire a husband. A failed relationship that I was not meant to be in showed me the qualities that I truly want my future husband to possess. It also encouraged me to evaluate what God's will for my life is and determine what I would like from my life. It was a learning experience but your article and living testimonies have shown me that is better to wait on God than to hastily create a premature bond with someone.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

To Kasmam: What an amazing story! Praise God for your obedience!

To Barbara: Continue with patience, hold your head up and have faith!

Thank you both for stopping by!


Franko 3 years ago

i am a straight man that is certainly looking for the right woman to connect with again, especially after my wife of fifteen years cheated on me. i was a very caring and loving husband that was very committed to her as well, and we did have a lot of wonderful times together. i hope that GOD will bless many of us very serious men out there that want very much to share our life with the right woman again, and who would want to be alone anyway? i hate being alone and single again as it is, especially coming home to an empty apartment after work and having no one to talk too.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Franko: It is wonderful to hear from a man. My heart goes out to you for what you have gone through. Women cheat too! Be encouraged and know that God still answers prayers. He knows what you have been through. I believe this next marriage will be even better. Keep me posted!. Thanks for stopping by.


Franko 3 years ago

to Evans4life, thank you very much for your support.


T.Hi 3 years ago

I came here hoping to find out how to know when he IS the one...

I moved to this city one year and one day ago and found my current church on April 1st. I noticed one male in particular right off, but I had told myself that I was going to church to praise God and get my relationship with Him back on-track, so I refused to see the male as anything more than a good-looking brother. After about 6 months, I realized that I was no longer looking at him as just a brother, but something more and I was okay with it by that point, as I do want a Godly man and where else would I find one but at church?! It was also around this time that I realized he may also be attracted to me and may've been trying to talk to me, but I hadn't noticed. Eventually, we started talking more and more at church, then we became facebook "friends" (I looked him up and requested, but didn't think of it as "initiating" anything) and we'd chat there every once in a while. When my laptop went down, I accessed fb on my cell and sent him my phone number. About a week later, he called and we've been talking ever since. We started off talking about 2x-3x/wk and our conversations just flow; no lags or uncomfortable silences. Then, after 6 wks or so of this, we went to "lunch" (neither of us called it a "date") and after the date, I made a giant faux-pas; I asked if he could ever see me as more than a friend and that I was only asking so I'd know to "get off this train" if I needed to. He said we'd talk about it, but we haven't and I haven't brought it up again. So, since that Saturday, he seems to have taken a few steps back. He still seeks me out at church so we can talk and he has actually started calling me nightly now, but we've gone from 30-45 min conversations to 12, 13 mins phone calls and I get the sense that it's more that he's touching home base to see if I'm still here than really wanting to talk or get to know me better. I realize that I messed up and I want to acknowledge that and reassure him that I'm not in a rush, but I fear that'll just make matter worse...

Before our lunch, he'd say a lot of future-minded stuff, like "when we're in our bed" or "when you come over" or "when we go on future dates", things that show he was thinking ahead. He hasn't said anything like that since our lunch. So now I'm left wondering: did I damage this not-yet-a-relationship beyond repair? How should I proceed? And most importantly, how do I know if this' even ordained by God? I was hopeful that this' the man God has for me, but how does one even know? I've asked God, but He has yet to answer. I've also asked God to remove this desire if it's not of him, as I was fine with things as-was before I noticed him in a romantic way and I can't imagine God would bring the feelings to me - IF he did - unless they were going to come to fruition at some point.

Also, I recently met a man from work who's interested in me, but I don't see him in "that way" and I let him know that. But I am willing to "hang" with him as a distraction from the foot-dragging guy. While I have no intention of leading this other guy on, I do admit that I like his attention since my preferred male is not expressive like that. And I KNOW this other guy is not "the one", as he's not a Christian and he drinks and smokes, neither of which do I want in a partner.

Please, any advice or words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

T.Hi. In my opinion, you've done all the initiating. You asked him to be facebook friends, you sent him your cell phone number and then you asked him if you two had a future. Quiet frankly, you really don't know where he stands as he may just not want to hurt your feelings. Or he could also be interested in someone else. My recommedation is stand still. Let him approach you...let him develop the friendship... let him develop it into more if he wants. God didn't bring these feelings...your natural self did. You are human. If God intends for the two of you to be together, he will also tell him. He's not going to leave him in the dark, especially since he's a Chrisitan. Once he reveals it to him, you are not going to have to do anything! That's what ladies seem to forget. God is not going to only show you your mate...he will show him as well. As for the other...Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers. If you have no intention of leading this guy on, then why even go out. Actions speak louder than words. He's interested in you and though you let him know, going out with him says something completely different. Keep me posted! Thanks for stopping by!


T.Hi 3 years ago

Thanks, Evans. Not making excuses for my behavior, but I do want to add that before I noticed him, he used to try to talk to me and offer me rides home, which I rejected, so I felt like I needed to do something to show I'd changed my mind after rejecting him so much... But back to now: I have started being still, haven't called/texted/emailed him since the lunch - HE invited me, btw - and I only ever talk to him at church when he finds me. I just don't get why he WOULD do/say some things if he's not interested. I also understand that he may not wanna hurt my feelings, but it seems to me it'd be better to know now than to let my feelings run further away so I end up worse off, later...

Regardless, I ignored last night's phone call and may or may not answer when he calls tonight, so he's knows I'm not a wrap and not at home waiting for his call.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Hey T.Hi. Very interesting stuff. Thanks for clarifying and it does change my thoughts. Frankly, I would ask him point blank, what his intentions are. Does he want to just be friends or what because he's confused you. I would continue to not be readily accessible and show him you have a life- friends or not. Men can be very undecisive. He needs to _iss or get off the pot...you know what I mean? Keep me updated...I'm intrigued!


T.Hi 3 years ago

*lol* Thanks for all the advice, Evans4life! I'll let you know, for sure.


Rachel 3 years ago

You know all of the advice sounnds, wonderful. I am one of the ones who have been waiting a long time 8years. since I gave my life to Christ, never went back Once. I almost got caught up, but didn't! I am 28years old now, and I am struggling with this fonky flesh. lol I literaly crave for my husband. NOT A MAN, BUT THE MAN GOD HAS FOR ME. I am a Registered Nursing student, so I am pretty busy with that. I am on the dance team at my church as well. BUt my theory is not just keeping the right attitude about waiting for your husband patience but HOW to omit those crave attacks when you are crying for your husband. When you don't want just any ol Tom, Mike and Harry! But that one, and you can't go looking for him, you have to wait for him to find you. It can be very frustrating. Your not trying to be jealous, or upset, but all of your friends around you are married. Not that they all did it the right way either! lol. But they are married. ANd when that desire is sooo strong, that you try not to think about it, so you wont be sad, is just crazy. I am at a place, where I want a family. I don't have but 1 sibling out by my way, and I hardly ever see them. I live alone, and own a home, and I don't have anyone else abiding in my home to help with the distraction of wanting to be married. So Im pretty much screwed it appears. lol I don't want to be 50years old and just be getting married, that's insane! I want 4 kids, and I gotta be married to get those! I don't want to be 35 having my first baby, and still want 3 more, that is also insane! Of course I want God's will for my life, and of course I know I have work to do for God, but c'mon ladies something has got to give! This is a common thing all around the world. We are told that if we can't contain then its better to marry than to burn. But then we are told that we have to wait for our husbands to find us while dealing with this fonky flesh, crying just to keep your legs closed, waiting for this man. sighing I can say this, that I do know, that my husband is coming soon, because God told me, he is, and through visions, and other people. For the Lord knows that if I don't get married soon,,,,,, I might not make it yall. lol And that is real rap! But I am just dealing with this craving feeling, and you can speak in tongues all day, be up in the upper vessel of God, high in the Spirit, but eventually you're gonna have to come back down to earth. And because Iam a true worshiper, Im not gonna pray just to relieve me of my cravings for a man. I worship and pray because I truly love him, for who he is!. I know that it don't take God 40 years to send a godly man, to us! It could very well be something that God wants us to get rid of before we get our husbands, so that we don't mess up our marriage or vice versa. But I don't know. Imma just continue praying, because I love God, not because I want a husband! Imma continue being obedient, and doing the work for God that he has assigned me to do, and wait for God to Bless me, with this Man of God, I am craving for in Jesus name.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Rachel : Thank you for your honesty. Girl I know the craving! Chances are you will not have to wait until you're 50 like I was. God had to purge me of somethings that took time. He had to prepare me and mature me. Plus he had to make sure my spirit was divorced from all the spirits of men I spiritually married (pre-marital sex). I'm going to write an article about the spiritual consequences of premarital sex. I haven't decided if it will be a hub or an article on my blog. Anyway, just keep doing what you're doing. God knows your heart and what you need. But more importantly, try to be content while you wait. Paul said whatever state I am in, therein I am content. Contentment shows God that you're completely trusting him. Thanks so much for stopping by.


Raitu Disong profile image

Raitu Disong 3 years ago

Nice hub!...I am only 24 years old, but I’ll wait on God for the best,,God’s time is the best. May our good God bless your marriage.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Thanks Raitu! Thanks for stopping by.


Summer 3 years ago

I'm 27 and I've been praying for eight years. I've never been in any serious relationships or had pre martial sex. However I've struggled with lust for a long time, and have a hard time controlling my fantasies. I know God is working it out.. I do trust him. I just feel abandoned sometimes. Regardless of my inexperience I've had many almost relationships God stirred me away from. I encourage single people to pray when you first get interested in someone. Before the relationship even starts. You'd be surprised how many people start praying when they're already in love and its so hard to turn away. It's getting really discouraging for me right now. I still choose to trust God regardless. Please pray for me . I enjoyed reading your testimony by the way.God bless you.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Summer:

How refreshing it is to learn of someone who is waiting to have sex. Satan is busy and He wants to see you fall in that area. Stay strong and know that God will bless you in His due time. Don't be discouraged. I know it is hard...believe me I've been there! Somehow in my loneliest moments, God would always show me He's with me and cares...even through my tears. Hold your head up, be strong...know that God cares and will show up in your situation. Thanks for stopping by!


True 3 years ago

I found your articles very true and very interesting.


True 3 years ago

As a Christian woman myself, I have had the same experiences that you describe in your church. There are about 9 sisters to 1 brother, and if a single brother joins the congregation, all the women pounce on him. The brothers then keep their distance but they also know that they can have their pick of any of the sisters in their congregation or another congregation. Eventually, if the brother is in his 40's or 50s etc, he normally chooses, and marries - a sister at least 15-20 years younger than himself. This despite that she might be spiritually and mentally immature. I know many sisters who are middle aged and older (some are virgins) who've died waiting. Another major obstacle is that in my faith, many singles are discouraged from getting married. We're never told not to per say, we're given a bleak and dull picture of marriage, and that we can serve God much better if we remain single. It is not easy being a Christian in an unchristian world. I'm quite fed-up and don't care anymore.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

True: Singles are always painted as lonely, second-class citizens. It is true that Singles are free to worship and serve God. That is why it is important for singles to focus on that while their single instead of focusing on the single men that join the church. However, God ordained marriage. He said it is not good for man to be alone and since men are to marry women, it is not good for women to be alone either. The Bible says marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled. With God in the center, marriage is beautiful. Don't give up on your prayers. Be encouraged. Trust God. Stay in touch..thanks for stopping by.


True 3 years ago

Evans4life: I, and a few of my friends, have also experienced being viewed as second-class citizens. I've noted that with some people (the married ones I mean) look at some singles as having no status unless you're a "Mrs." We're also a bit weary of even making a conversation with some of the brothers, just in case the brother mistakes friendliness as "interest." This tends to scare them away. Yes, God that it is not good for the man to be alone and it's not good for women either to be alone. Why, look at the whole animal kingdom, they were made male and female, for a purpose. Thanks for your feedback.


Jess 3 years ago

I just got out of a four year relationship. We loved each other very much, but decided that we would not be happy in marriage. I've been struggling with starting over and trusting that God will send me a husband some day. I think that most people divorce because they were too impatient to wait for the mate God intended for them. Reading your story has been inspirational. I hope that I am strong enough to wait for the man God wants me to be with. Thank you!


sherry 3 years ago

I have been praying for three years me and my ex husband split for no reason and I have been turning to the lord for three years and we have a beautiful baby girl he has her but I have been putting my love life on hold for three years I am lonley and I know god loves me but I would like a man or a new man and a family I don't know want to do please help lonley heart


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Keep your eyes on God. Don't focus on what you don't have and in due season, a change will come.Be encouraged, stay in touch. Thanks for stopping by!


Megan 3 years ago

I am 34, and my Husband of 10 years left our "happy" family to be with another woman. There was no sign of distress, no fighting....only "I love you's", smiles, hugs and kisses up to the day before our family was destroyed. He lied at first and said that he had just been "pretending" to love me for a long time, and that there was nobody else. He showed our children her picture and told them NOT to tell me about it! lol Like a 6 and 7 year old (girl and boy) would keep a secret like that! He only see's his children now about once every 2 weeks, because he moved 2.5 hours away to live with her. They miss their Dad so much, and is still trying to comprehend how all this happened (as I). It has been almost 6 months since all of this, and our hearts are still aching. He had the divorce papers ready to sign and process only 2 weeks after all the "big announcement". He threatened to fight for custody of the kids if I tried to contest it, so for the sake of the children and my OWN sake, I went along with it and set him free. The kids are all I have and all I will EVER have. I had severe hemorrhaging with my daughter and they were forced to do a hysterectomy. I know so many men want to be able to start their own families, and that is something I can never give them. :( I thought he was my soulmate, and now I am wondering if there's anyone out there for me. So, I tried Catholic Match and Christian Mingle. I am all about honesty, so I made sure to put that I can't have kids on my profile, and I never got a single response from either site. I live on the Big Island of Hawaii, so there are SLIM PICKIN'S! I know as long as I am here, I will not ever be able to meet anyone. My ex has me trapped...I can't move to the mainland because then he wouldn't be able to "visit" the kids. So I am stuck on this miserable rock until the kids are 18. I know they say God won't give us more than we can handle, this is all but unbearable. I have tried counseling, but all the counselor's did was sit there and take notes and gave me a book that was all common sense! lol They were of no help at all. At least I have my precious children that God has blessed me with! They put a smile on my face and in my heart every second of every day! :)


Heidi 3 years ago

This is so wonderful! I am so encouraged. I have done all of the things that are listed NOT to do in finding a mate. I haven't really went about looking for one, but I have spent many a moment, day, week, year, doubting and being sad. I have been married once and since I've been single, I've had one relationship. I thought my last relationship was the man I would married. I loved him in a real and Godly way and he loved me, I believed, but I soon learned he was a liar. He lied about anything and everything. I chose to forgive him and continue in the relationship. The Lord clearly told me, more than once, to stop the relationship. I didn't listen. It went on for two years. By the time I did OBEY the voice of the Lord, I had already fully invested my heart and soul, my child's life, and my family into this person. The outcome wasn't good. I was left with a real deep hurt. One that I have never experienced before. I was left angry, bitter, hateful, resentful, and broken. It's been a year since the end of that relationship. I think I am better, emotionally, then I was a week ago, but I still struggle with the scars. I still know and fully believe that I was meant to be someone's wife. I was created to be loved and to love another. I know there are more than a few areas I need to focus on before God brings me my Knight. I appreciate your honesty and your encouragement and I'm so happy your patient waiting had such an awesome reward! God bless you, my sister. Thank you for using your life to help and encourage others. :)


ajtabw profile image

ajtabw 3 years ago

I am very glad I came across this blog. I having been wanting a husband since I was 21, now at age 31 I feel like giving up. I have been through so many bad relationships (most of them were verbally abusive). I just wanted someone to love me. I haven't been praying for a husband in a while because I feel my prayers are unheard. I get frustrated when people I know are getting married and they didn't have to put in any effort to find the right man, its like Mr. right fell from the sky. I know its wrong but I don't think I have the energy to even pray for it because I have been waiting for so long, maybe I am meant to be alone? My self esteem is low and I just don't know what to do anymore.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@ajtgabw - God knows your frustrations and heart. Right now, why not focus on allowing God to raise your self-esteem issues and becoming confident in who you are in Christ. Men can sense your lack of self-esteem and you are drawing men that want to abuse you. You are a jewel, more than a conquerer. Don't give up..don't stop praying. Work on doing you and becoming someone who will attract a God-fearing man. Thanks for stopping by. Keep in touch!


ForeverHis 3 years ago

Hello everyone, allow me to shed a some light if you don't mind. I am a 24 year old female, single, never been in a relationship and happily in love with Jesus Christ. Ladies, I am reading your posts and it truly saddens me how desperate most of you are! Don't you know that God is your everything? He is your groom, your first love (return to him!) and He is the only one who can satisfy all your needs, NOT your future husband. Don't complain and say your prayers are not being heard when you have put Christ secondary to everything else, When you value finding "Mr.Right" more than you do Jesus Christ. The Word says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your Heart." Do you know what that means? It means until you realize nothing in this world matters more than getting to know your Creator in a personal, Intimate way, and until you put HIM first above ALL things, in your decision making, you will be miserable. because you are not allowing God control over this area. Give Him the pen and step back and let Jesus write your love story. He can write the most beautiful Love stories if only we would let Him. Better than you can think or imagine for yourself. Afterall, love was created by God and marriage was His idea but sadly the society we live in no longer values what is holy and righteous. What was created to be something beautiful (marriage) they turned it out to be something to mock and unvalued.................. So Ladies, instead of sitting around in your misery go before the Lord, repent for not valuing Him as much as marriage, turn your whole life, EVERYTHING, over to His mighty will and step back. Work on your walk with the Lord, grow in your spiritual walk and do not allow trivial things get in the way. And when you do find "Mr.Right" make sure you don't idolize that person, Jesus should always be first in your heart. He is the center of any relationship. Keep your eyes focused on heavenly matters this world will soon fade away so don't waste your time trying to find a husband when you can be serving the Lord in your singleness. I pray God opens your eyes ladies, much love.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@foreverhis...Amen....thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by.


Mel 3 years ago

Thank you for this! I am at the age where I'm getting grief from family to start dating, but this has helped me a lot ! Blessings!


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Mel...thanks for stopping by. I'm glad I can help.


ONHISPROMISE 3 years ago

WOW, WHAT A WONDERFUL COMMENTS, I WILL WAIT UNTIL HIS WILL IS DONE IN MY LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT, MY GOD WILL BE GLORIFY!


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@onhispromise: Thanks for stopping by. Be encouraged!


Orchid1980 3 years ago

Dear Evans,

I am thankful for your testimony but I know that I don't want to have my faith tested by waiting until my 50's. I am single and I have worked for the last years at putting my faith and hope in Christ and being content with my relationship in Christ. I am so thankful for God provision and restoration and most of the time, my hope and sprits are high because I have not doubt that god gave me this holy desire for a husband and that He will be faithful and do miracles... but lately, I have become discouraged. I went to a Christian wedding last month and ever since, I have a hard time to contain my frustration. I can only pray and talk, bargain with God but reading my Bible, focusing on the word of God is much harder because all my thoughts go to winning and pleading God and telling Him how I feel. I always though that my husband would be my spiritual leader, that he would motivate /inspire me to more learning about God 's word but if I never marry or if I marry late in life, this means that my dream of a spiritual leader is setting me up for failure...waiting to grow and learn more with someone is not a bad thing but then I don't have the strength to learn and grow as a single when all I want is a companion to grow and learn alongside.... my hopes are fading away because I don't know what miracle it would take for me to meet my husband...I don't go out, in my church, there are brothers unavailable and just not compatible and I choose to have a quiet, feminine and submissive attitude in a biblical way, so I don't see myself initiating anything or doing something to draw attention to me. God knows how much I have "clean-up" my thoughts, actions, attitude and yet I am very lonely and feel this void of being undesirable in the church...God it is so hard to keep on serving and praying...I have fasted and will continue to do so if I feel led by the Spirit but I don't want to lode my sanity on the way...God knows where I come from and what I have been through…right now, I feel frustrated and ignored by God, I know it is wrong and untrue to feel that way. One thing that makes the whole process so much painful is that the Church just ignores the Singles and would not say anything. So many Christian men are too comfortable not doing anything, too afraid to change and live up to a biblical truth of marriage and sacrifice…I need encouragement and prayers please. Thank you, blessings.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Orchid--- I totally understand your frustration and pain....been there. My advice to you is to ask God to help you be content where you are in life. The scriptures tell us to learn to be content in every stage of life. When we become content, God can really move on our behalf because we are truly resting in Him. Be encouraged! I am praying for you. Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by!


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Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

There is no law that says that anyone should be married at a certain age. Everyone will not marry early, and some will not marry at all.

I believe if more people would wait for God to prepare them and their spouse, there would be fewer divorces. Many people disagree with this, but the many reasons for divorces point to truth in this idea.

What a beautiful love story you have shared! It is a happy family that puts God first.

Many blessings!


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Levertis- I agree with you 100%. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing.


thaislandchick 3 years ago

Actually in the Bible, Adam did not pursue anyone. God just brought the woman to him. Some women needs to learn how to chose a husband, and not let a man chose you. The feeling should me mutual, therefore no chasing and playing games should be available. On the other hand, women should not be the one to offer to be the bread winner, that's where the Bible comes in.


Paul 3 years ago

well there are certainly many of us good men out there that are available to many of the women looking for a husband, and i would love very much to meet a good woman to share my life with instead of being alone all the time. many women nowadays are just too picky, and expect their knight in shining armor with a very large bank account. many women today are certainly not like the real ladies that we had years ago which made it much more easier for men that were looking for a good woman to settle down with, and many women accepted their men for who they were since they didn't have to be rich either to be loved. it is very sad that the women with their high paying job do think they are all that which they believe they are better than anyone else. and with that attitude, it is a real shame. this is certainly a very good reason why many of us men can't find a good woman anymore, and many of the women are complaining that they can't find a husband which i find it very hard to believe because of the way that they are acting today. please don't blame us, and we are hurting as well since many of us don't like to be alone like i have just mentioned. God created men to be with a woman, but it is just so very hard for the good men and women to connect with one another today.


Shadow Jackson profile image

Shadow Jackson 3 years ago from Washington, DC

these are great tips! I agree!


Kathryn Matheny profile image

Kathryn Matheny 3 years ago

im 38 and feel very forgotten by God !!! i have never even been on a date and person made the suggestion "what if God called you to be single to serve him instead" . Im sorry but God said its not good for man to be alone. What has really killed me emotionally are the opinions from people i don't even know insisting they know why im still single - unconfessed sin, not content, no established relationship with Jesus and that Jesus is all i need. Im drowning in sorrow and deep despair here.

i can't take any christian who speaks for God seriously anymore as they arent speaking for him they are speaking for them.

its not good for man to be alone !!! im not an exception this

it does not encourage me to see God do this for other people it only reminds me that he has NOT has done this for me.

all my friends are married and im embarrased at times to still be single at 38. It hurts my heart big time. It also hurts me anytime a person tells me Jesus is my husband yet hippocritical when they are married themsevles and its not to Jesus.

Jesus died for my sins he did not come to earth to marry me

I never dated in hight school heck i have never dated and i don't know why - but to hear it may not be Gods will really creates a big distrust in God. Why hasn't he done this for me !!!

im lonely and im alone. I need someone i can talk with not someone i can talk to.

jesus is my savior but hes not my spouse, he never was meant to be

im 38 - this will not go away !!!!

to have this need unmet yet hear others say how God has blessed them with a wonderful spouse really hurts my heart and crushses my soul

God doesn't seem to care about my happiness but only about my service to him. Im sorry but im not going to be single to serve him instead - that just isn't a loving caring father = that's some kind of debt collector geez

my brother has been married for 19 years

my parents for 44 years

its not good for me to be alone too God !!!! its killing me emotionally and spritually !!!!!

im afraid if God doesn't bring someone in my life i will resort to online dating as i will have no other choice

i refuse to be singe for the rest of my life - and i mean that 1000%

what i want doesn't seem to matter to God but it definitely matters to me !!!! getting married matters to me !!!!

i have never been on a date and this has to change !!

no more patience to wait ive been waiting for 26 years of my life watching other people = no more people i watching i need to experience this for myself !!!!!


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Kathryn I feel your pain, I understand your frustrations and your anger with God....been there and done that. But take it from someone who has been there...you have to trust God. God is not going to bless you with your husband until He is ready. You can stomp and scream all you want.... it will happen in His time. Or you can make it happen in your time. When we make things happen we risk happiness and contentment. Why haven't you dated? What is keeping men from approaching you? What can you imrove on? Do you have any male friends?

Interested in hearing your anwers.


Preacher 99 3 years ago

Hang in there Kathryn if you force God you will end up with a real mess. I feel your pain I am with Evans4 life. Make shure you look after your self stay in Shape, exercise, if you need to lose a few pounds do it get support from your girlfriends.

You are special to God He has someone for you but don't appear desperate. Stay connected to male friends and keep praying for his eyes to open and have calm nerves.


Bridget 3 years ago

I am also 38. I am trying to decide if I should get artificial insemination because I want kids. I do not want to be a single parent but it looks like I have no choice. Friends have made comments that are very hurtful to me. Telling me what do I think I'm going to get at my age and saying I have a zero percent chance makes me very sad. I have a longtime friend who only emails me and said she won't talk on the phone to me because she said I don't understand what it's like to be a full time mom. My friends who are stay at home moms talk extensively about their families. A few have informed me that they would never have kids after age 35 because of the risk and actually advised me to adopt. Sometimes I wonder if God doesn't love me as much as them. I have watched everyone I know get married and have kids and wonder where my happiness is. If I wait to be married I will be too old to have kids if I'm not already. I know two couples who married around my age and they spent over 50k on IVF. I don't have that type of money and a friend told me that all of my female parts are already expired. They have their playdates and their husbands who pay the bills. I feel like I am grieving my own death.


My Opinion 3 years ago

there are many of us good Straight Men that are hoping to meet a good woman to settle down with too, but the problem is with so much more women that are Gay today that will certainly add to our problem as well. It is very sad now that we live in this day and age that the Lesbian Population has certainly increased so very rapidly today, and many of us very serious men that are looking are certainly not to blame here. i will admit that i have met not so very nice women at all, especially when they have to Curse at us when we will try to start a conversation with the one that we would like to meet. this has happened to me already which certainly explains how women have changed over the years, and not for the good at all. I know other men that had similar experiences with women like this too. it really hurts me very much as it is not to have a love life that God gave to so many other men and women that were Very Blessed by him to have that, and there are many of us men that would have certainly wanted to have a love life as well instead of being all alone and having no one right now. i feel as if God is really punishing us, and i sure don't know why.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Bridgett-- You always have a choice. God's plan for the family is to have a Father, mother and child. We mess up when we go outside of God's design for the family. We take control and that is not pleasing to God. I always thought I would have children but have not. Yes it was disppointing, but now I have peace. God's peace can calm any discontent you have. Try that instead of taking control of your childless situation.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@My opinion--- Ladies, , there are good men out there looking for a Woman of God. Proverbs 31 describes this woman. Ask God to shape you to be appealing to the man God has for you. Don't blow it Thank you My Opinion.


The Law 3 years ago

I must confess that the forum has been a blessing to me and am strengthened by both the hub and the comments. You all are beautiful people.

I`m a 26 yrs old single lady, my mum got married at the age of 21 and expected me to do same. I have done everything outlined in your article and am still keeping them up, anytime I want to do any additional course, my parents will only discourage me and insist I stop and search for a husband instead.

I no longer tell them much about my adventures not out of disrespect but precaution, thank God that am financially independent, am a Christian with a lot of male friends who always confirm my good virtues even those ones I never believed I possess.

In 2o11, after a 7day prayer and fasting program, we were told to ask one special thing from God and He will answer us before the day is over if we believe. Of course I believed, and you can all guess what my special prayer request was, immediately that night on my way home, with 100% level of faith that God is going to reveal my husband to me via dream (revelation), I sighted from afar, a guy who is one of the ministers in my former parish and at some few step away from him, I heard this clear voice that says "That is Your Husband".

I felt shocked and my heart was beating faster than its ideal pace, I greeted him and he accused me of running away from "their parish". So, the following Sunday, I prepared myself with earnest expectation for confirmation, When I got to the Church, I was secretly SEARCHING for him, and could not see him throughout the service. But after service, immediately I came out of the Church gate, there he was, and my heart beat even faster.

Since then, I have had over 5 unique confirmations that he is the man . This has helped me to have peace because I covenanted with God that if God will take away worldly men off my path (Let them not just see me, so I won’t be distracted and confused) I would concentrate on Him, and I must confess that God has been true to His word even though in time of loneliness, I sometimes feel compelled to go on my way.

There are many GOOD GUYS in my church who are very much interested in me but, I show them no interest because I need to be convinced by God before I would ever marry and am still holding on with regards to His promise, and as it is, it is not everybody that will understand my plight. So, I hardly share this story with them.

I will be 27yrs come January, and am seriously tired of waiting, with these questions on my mind

1. Is it that He is not praying for a wife yet?

2. Am I still a Work In Progress in the hands of God?

3. Did I not hear from God? Are those confirmation mere coincidences?

4. Is God still preparing him for me?

5. How long more do I have to wait?

I desperately need answers to these questions to gain peace and reassurance.

Although, I must confess that if I had been married at age 23 I would have been a baby wife (Too shy, inexpressive, inexperience, in fact I would have been a half baked wife) which am sure would have frustrated my husband

.

So, I appreciate God for what He has made me become and for all His beautiful plans for my life which includes a godly husband and a happy home.

I hope to come back someday soon to share my testimony.


euroyankee 3 years ago

STOP already! God has nothing to do with finding someone to love. You are the only one who decides who is worthy of love.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@euroyankee-- True, it is your choice who to love, but if you believe in the Word of God, the scriptures says He will direct our paths if we acknowledge Him. If you don't believe the Word of God, then yes it is all you. Thanks for stopping by!


NovaBrown 3 years ago

I think I'm never going to find anyone period. On my time or God's time. I believe I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm a 29 year old single mother of 1. I work, have my own place, cook, clean, etc. and I feel that's not enough. Plus I'm not all that good looking in the looks department so I never have guys asking me out or anything. I admit I was married before but he only used me to get his permanent resident card. I thought I was in a relationship with my son's father but I wasn't (just assumed). I really want to have that special someone in my life (besides my son). Out of me and my friends I'm the only single one and sometimes (even though I'm happy for them) I get tired of listening to all the things their husbands/boyfriends do for them. I get so jealous, like why can't this happen for me? I'm tired of being alone!!!


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@novabrown- Sound like you need to be reminded of your worth in Christ and a dose of contentment and faith. God knows the desires of your heart...he also knows your heart toward him and your friends. Jealousy can ruin us. It is a beast! Destroy it before it destroys you!

Thanks for stopping by!


Summer 3 years ago

Remember ladies, God made everything good but did mention that it was not good for man to be alone. Allow him to transform you through his spirit. Remind him of his promises. Stand firm on them and do not allow the enemy to whisper just discouraging thoughts in your heads. I get discouraged too.. A LOT! but I've realized something, The time my prayers were answered was during a period of faith and trusting in God, not doubt and whining. I'm going to trust him regardless of what I see. It's a daily thing to keep sane when your body and mind seems to be screaming for someone to love you in that way. However, who better to fulfill the desires of your heart, than HIM who gave you the heart to desire??? Waiting on God requires waiting on his timing. Unless you decide to do your own thing ( which I advice you not to). God's timing is perfect. Read his word, not everyone got what they wanted. John the baptist was beheaded, Sara had her who was promised at 90, Jeremiah was instructed not to marry, Mary and Martha had to moan the death of their brother for four days, knowing Jesus was just a few miles away. The question is, what if God says no?? do we stop serving him? I am in no way implying that God will tell anyone of you no, I believe if its your desire he will fulfill it or redirect it in the right timing , through faith! Nothing can be compared to his love, nothing can separate us from it. Seek him about it, fast, pray, and be ready to receive an answer. He will reward your sacrifice with an answer about your singleness." Yea verily, and I count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but refuse, that I may gain Christ". Philippians 3:8. Take everything but give me Jesus. We can live without a man, but we cannot live, without the source of our strength. Ge to a safe place with your savior, hide your hearts in him :-)


Summer 3 years ago

Oh by the way I loved your testimony Evans4life. I have left a whiny statement on this post about six months ago.. So i really do empathize with everyone. Just allowing God to take me new places, where i'm moving away from the loneliness and hiding under the shadow of his wings. It's the best place to be, oh and the mind will be at peace too! Will be praying for all of you. Blessings


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Summer....Amen! Amen! May God's favor be upon you!


Hopefull 3 years ago

I have knew my husband for eight yrs now and everything is OK by the grace of God, I stay give God the praise for all the ups and down in our marriage cuz some time it is not easy most especially we do not have kids(kids together ) but for him, he already have two kids before we meet, we both LOVE one another so much that children is not the problem in our marriage is just that as a woman n at this time i'm so waiting for his answer for i know that children comes from the Lord and @ his due time he will blessed us with our heart desired. i luv the children and always make them feel like they are mine that are blessed God for..........GET BUSY FOR THE LORD.......i have Jone the prayer team in my church for i have come to realized that ones you are praying for someone God is working it out for you as well, it may not be that right thing you are asking of him But He is still working something for you for we all know prayer is the Key and that there is no way you can put yourself in the attitude of worship calling the name of Jesus and noting seems to work out for you for the name of the lord can never be call in vain .


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Keep praying for others!


angel 3 years ago

after reading Megans story, i'm happy being single!

i'd like all the single ladies to read Megans story posted above.

to all the single ladies, you're not missing out on much...marriage is not bed of roses which god is forbidding you to give.


Steve 3 years ago

I really don't want to sound mean, but for many of us good men that are very seriously looking for a good woman to meet, has become very hard for us since they are so Very Rude nowadays which it makes it very impossible for us to really meet a good one.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Steve....you are not sounding mean. Some women have become very hard due to past relationships hurts, viewing a problematic realtionship between parents or maybe the father was MIA. Regardless, we have to learn that all men are not dogs and that God created us to be the gentler sex. We must learn that beauty and sweetness attracts. Hang in there. You'll meet her soon! Thanks for stopping by!


Steve 3 years ago

To Evans4life, Thank You very much for your support.


Donna 3 years ago

Thank you for your story, it has been very inspiring for me. I was in a relationship with someone for a couple of years that never really valued or appreciated me. I thank God that He allowed me to be removed from that situation. It showed me a lot about what I wanted in a relationship. I am at a point now that I am ready to be in a relationship with a good man. But waiting really is the hard part, because I want God's best for my life I refuse to settle for anything less.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Donna God will honor you patience in due time. Keep the faith!

Thanks for stopping by.


Donna 3 years ago

To Evans4life, thank you so much! I'm trying to stay encouraged because I know everything will fall in place and come together in His timing. Thanks again!


lily 3 years ago

There is a neighbor in my building who I have been walking with daily for a month and a half. We would talk for about a half an hour a day. For about a month he has been ignoring me. We are adults I am 45 and he is 55. I have been separated for about 2 and a half years and have 2 children. I had no choice but to tell my husband it was over in 2011. After my 14 year marriage I have never had an interest in being with anyone. This man never once asked me out, never showed any interest in being in a relationship with me. It was just nice to walk and have someone interested in my thoughts and ideas, talk about of life, our days. One day it all stopped and like I said he is ignoring me. After 2 years of being separated I was finally feeling good about myself. But now after this I can hear all the horrible things my husband would say to me and the names he would call me daily. I don't know why but "your nothing special" comes back loud and clear. I pray everyday. I always have. It has never occurred to me to pray for a good man in my life. I have a question and it may seem silly but what I have been wondering is if I see him how should I react? I don't want to be prideful but I do feel hurt by this I would be hurt even if a female friend did this to me. Maybe I am hurt because maybe I was becoming interested in him. But I really do miss talking to him and it really is making me feel badly about myself. I know I will run into him someday its not a big place I am surprised I haven't already what should I do?


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@lily... What do you know about this neighbor's personal life? Is he in a relationship? Did you misinterpet the relationship? Sounds like it was just in a friendship level...which is okay. All relationships start somewhere. Think of him and treat him like a friend. If he has intentions for more, it will happen in due time. Thanks for stopping by.


lily 3 years ago

Thank you so much for answering so quickly. He had said he has tried being in relationships but they never worked out. So I took that as being someone who is not interested in a relationship. He has never been married and has never had kids. I never felt that he was interested in me as any thing more than a friend because he has never asked me out or implied that he was. He would say see you tomorrow or I would. I just think that God brings people in our lives sometimes for a reason. But right now it is just making me feel rejected as a person and not good about myself. I know that is my own doing. You are right if I run into him I will treat him like a friend but I do miss his friendship and those walks. I will pray for your continued happiness in your marriage and thank you for replying to me so quickly. I love love and I love to see people happy.


Nikki 3 years ago

God is good, lately I've been having an extremely strong desire to meet the husband that God has ordained for me. However, I haven't really discussed my desire with anyone besides God because I don't feel as though I know anyone that can relate. So this is an amazing "go to" site to read stories of people experiencing similar situations or who have experienced similar situations. Reading some of these stories gives me greater hope. I feel in my heart that God is telling me that soon my dream of being married to the man that God created just for me & building a family with God as our foundation will come to pass very soon. I've had guys show interest in me, but I don't want any old guy. I want MY HUSBAND. I have prayed to God that when I meet my husband that him and I both know at that moment that God meant for us to be together. It won't be one of those situations where I have to ask myself or God if is he the one..........I will know.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@Nikki- God sees, knows and cares about your desire. Just let me know when he has arrived. Thanks for stopping by.


Nikki 3 years ago

@Evans, no thank you :) And I will most definitely do so.


Betty 3 years ago

This is very encouraging to me Evans4life. thank yoou for sharing


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Betty, thanks for stopping by.


melly 3 years ago

I got saved when I was 11 years old. Since then I devoted most of my free time in prayers, intersession, self-bible studying and serving the Lord. I grew believing that God will lead me and help me walking on His paths everyday. And that, God will also direct me who my husband is or direct my husband to find me. However, I have been through a very heart-broken relationship which led to the death of my lovely father. Since I got saved in 2000 when I was 14 years old, I believed God for an answer of "who is my husband", since I prayed that the Lord will direct me to meet the right husband whom we will proceed serving the Lord together. I had a boyfriend once in 2006 but was more like a normal friend and a prayer partner. In September 2006, a man who usually came to minister in my school approached me and telling me that "He believes God has prepared me to be his wife". I refused, since I intended to take more time to pray and ask the Lord for confirmation. I used most of my free time to serve the Lord and ask Him for his direction concerning the proposal. In 2007 October 23rd, I felt like God is directing me to accept the proposal. I was more than 100% sure that the Lord was directing me; because I asked for signs and all three different signs came true. Thus I called the man and told him that I have accepted him. We started courting. Courting plus the perspective of marriage in my mind made me very unstable spiritually. I fell into committing sex before marriage with the guy by the end of 2008. I lost my virginity. I started regretting and hating my self. The man could not minister very efficiently anymore and I began to hate him. I spent countless hours crying to the Lord that He would forgive me and help me change. The man also started hating me. We fought nearly every time we meet, until January 2009, when he ended-up beating me. It was the first time I experienced domestic violence. I became more and more furious and argumentative. All that time, I never told my parents anything. The man started breaking -up with me whenever we argue or whenever I do a mistake. It became his habit and in-my mind, hurting became unbearable. I committed my first suicide attempt in feb, 2009. Unfortunately it was not successful. My brother took care of me. My parents were not told any ting about that also; this was due to two reasons: 1. both my parents had High blood pressure and 2. my father loved me very very much more than all his children (he could say no to anyone on anything but not to me). Between; I resembled my father in so many things including brightness in class; I have been first in class since primary school to high school till now regardless of any circumstances/problems. In 7th June 2009, while one month and three weeks remained to our wedding, the man decided to break-up with me, as usual, over an argument. This time; my hurting was full, I couldn't bear it any more. I told the man; please inform my parents that you will not marry me anymore. He informed them, exactly on the same day. I had my final third year undergraduate exam on 21st June 2013. Within the same week, my parents came to know everything I went through while I was with thus man; they came to know about the domestic violence I went through, the suicide attempt etc. My daddy called me everyday to make sure I was okay and encourage me to prepare for my final undergraduate exam. He will hear me sniffing on the other end of the phone (he called since I studied in a boarding schools since secondary school). He will then encourage me more and more. I did not notice; all that time my daddy was encouraging me, listening to me crying; his blood pressure was going up and up. On 17th June 2009, just ten days after the break-up and wedding cancellation, my daddy passed away from Hypertension (high blood pressure). My cry increased. I was unconsoled. I cried and cried. We buried my lovely father on 20th June 2009. And I sat on the final exam the following day. I passed and I became first in class again. I can't explain it; it was not because I was bright; but I believe Lord Jesus helped me to pass that exam by HIS own power. It was a miracle to me. I was awarded by the university a "overall best student" prize. To cut the story short; In July I went to my Pastor and confessed each and everything; He then prayed for and with me and devoted time to teach me a lot of things which made me thankful to God than being frustrated and regretfully. I remained without a serious/committed relationship till 2013. In January this year, I met a man who we studied together in the university, and felt peace in my heart. We started a relationship. Unfortunately in October 2013 he told me that he wont be able to come to Tanzania (he has been in USA since 2011) due to various reasons, and he is not yet ready to get married till may be next year. Mhmm, I remained confused and a frustrated till early November. In this month God has helped me to live beyond my loneliness, I have continued attaching my self in serving God in my church and going to work. Every now and then I confess my faith that, the Lord is dealing with my problem. I have started visiting, encouraging and praying for one woman who has so many problems with her husband. I keep fasting and praying for my family members, reading my bible every morning and confessing. I believe the Lord has already answered my prayer. I am sure the Lord will do this very soon. Well if He doesn't (which is a miracle too) HE will still be my Loving-only-father and I will keep serving Him by praying for others. AT least now I can PRAY :) There were times I couldn't. I pray to you all; May the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY answer all your prayers. May you find answers in JESUS name before you became insane. INSANITY will never be your portion in JESUS name. I pray that the Lord answer you out of His mercy and grace. GOD is the good LORD. HE will never let you perish in Jesus name. Humble yourselves and tell HIM that you are lonely and you need HIM to help you. I assure you; God will bring the right one to you. If its about patience and faith, HE knows how to help us grab little by little until we mature as long as WE PUT HIM FIRST and not anything else (Mathew 6:33 Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness). Do not let your desire deceive you and make itself a prime aspect and goal of focus in life. God alone must remain first and only Him. Marriage will come and pass but the Lord must be followed, obeyed and served everyday in our lives no matter what. You may ask; Why I am so confident that God has answered despite a hurtful past? or Why am I happy? This is because I KNOW JESUS, I believe JESUS and I live for HIM and serve HIM regardless what! I have know how to cry and laugh, how to hurt and yet smile, how to need and yet be patient etc because I ask JESUS to help me in every stage. I tell Him the truth about how I feel and read Him word what He responds to me. I AM CRUSHED BUT NOT DESTROYED! JESUS IS MY HEALER. Kindly read this story Luke 7:11-15 How Jesus the Lord resurrected a child and brought him back to his mother. This story means Jesus wants us to be happy, wants to see us smiling, want us to have what we need. Hey, be strengthened in JESUS Mighty name :) It will pass. God is the only one who does not have an end, everything which has a beginning has an end. If you expect the best, it will happen (since Faith is "expecting" Hebrew 11:26a). We grow strong through temptations, and our faith grows too. In HIS TIME he will make everything beautiful. Keep thanking Him and confessing His word and what you need until HIS time reaches. It will reach my dear; be strengthened again Jesus Mighty name. Be blessed Evans4life. Thank you Mighty Loving Good Friend LORD JESUS. Amen


melly 3 years ago

Between: forgive me for such grammar :)


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

@melly- Your faith will make you whole. Thank you for sharing your story. Some reader will be strengthened by your words. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Thanks for stopping by.


Summer 3 years ago

Melly that was very encouraging! Thank you for sharing! Keep serving the Lord its the most rewarding thing you can do. You've been through some hard stuff but God will uphold you with his righteous right hand and restore to you what the enemy has stolen! Your testimony did bring a question to mind though. Which has been on my mind for quite some time. What do you all think about asking God for a sign/signs when it comes to a mate. I have asked for signs and gotten them, and there is biblical evidence (gideon) that he does gives signs. However, I have experienced times where I could have sworn I got a sign from God concerning a mate and got really hurt because it wasn't actually a sign from him. Whether it was the enemy using my desperation against me or my mind formulating the sign, not sure. How can we be sure daughters of God? It has to be more than a sign. Is what he outlined in his word not better than a sign? Not being unequally yoked, and looking out for fruit of the spirit in the person. Nobody is perfect of course, but let me just give an example. I met this guy who didn't fit the description of what I thought I'd need in a partner. He was not spiritual, he believed in God but that was it. Faith without works is dead of course. I had to initiate prayer and Godly conversation. He even expressed that I spoke about God way too much. Yet I held on to the relationship because I had a dream where I saw my future husband through a frosted glass. I thought I saw him. God stepped in and grabbed me by the collar through miraculous events after pleading with him about the supposed sign. He showed me that he was definitely not the one he wanted for me and that was clear based on his character. Honestly ladies, I've gotten to the point where I think it is SAFER to go off what God has told you in his word about what to look for than signs. Through Faith, seeking counseling from God fearing elders, getting Godly people involved for accountability, pleading with the spirit for wisdom to discern is the way to go. This sign thing has driven me half mad when I thought I saw a sign because that's exactly what I wanted. I am not saying God doesn't give signs... BUTTT when it comes to matters of the heart..feelings become dangerous and the enemy is waiting to give you a sign too!! Ladies what do you think? anyone has experience with this in that area? Let me know!. I'm not trying to be insensitive, I speak out of experience and I know the spiritual warfare we're in. Let's depend more on faith, discernment and the holy spirit over signs which can be so misleading. Working on this myself, I speak so passionately about it because I ask for signs for every guy I meet who's Christian and handsome.. doesn't work that way.. still single. let me know what yall think. :-) God bless


sar #wngsh 3 years ago

Hi, am 29years old and single,at times it really bothers me since almost all of my childhood best friends are married,sometimes it leaves me wondering what's wrong with me, one time at the age of 25yrs a man took advantage of me sexually since at that point i really wanted to get married, but since then i developed a cold feeling for men,after that incident am now able to descern men who anly are after taking advantage of me,i waste not a day with anyman i date if i discover he is not after a healthy relationship, am born again and thus wants a God fearing man,something has been bothering me recently, my pastor has become too worried with my age and he told me that he does not want me to be 30years and not married,he has been pushing me to find for just any man even if not a born again christian preach to him then he can marry us,but you see i have tried it several times but the men i end up meeting are those who just want sex before marriage of which it makes me writte them off,i dn't feel comfortable with the pastors advice since ii dn't want to be the one hunting for men, he tells me that many women have done it and it works for them, he makes me feeel like i am less of a woman and am not a wise lady, am this really hurts me,am not desperate especially coz i well understand the conscequences of sexual abuse and how bad it is,am confused coz i feel i now want to settle down but there are no good and Godly men coming to me,my church is a small one and thus there are no men,sometimes i feel like shifting especially now that my poastor is handling me like a totally desperate lady of which i believe am not,am in college currently furthering my studies and thus dn't have much timefor pity partying,kindly help i feel owful with this frequent bugging from my pastor,its soo hurting.is it really right for me to follow his advice, but i can't change a man only God can, iand if there are those who have succeded then God directed them, i can't just go picking on men and try to change them soo that they can marry me,i have tried but i can tell its not easy unless God has commanded the situation. mmm!!! kindly advice.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Summer: Sometimes we want something so badly we tell ourselves it is of God....our flesh tells us this is the sign. I do believe when God sends us someone, often times we don't have to depend on signs....it is apparent through his actions that he is sent from God. The relationship should flow freely. If it doesn't, maybe he's not the one or it is not time yet. Let patience have her perfect work. Thanks for sharing and stopping by.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

sar: Your pastor is out of order. He should be encouraging you to trust God and wait for His perfect timing; not encouraging you to chase after men. I would consider moving my membership....that's just me.

Thanks for sharing and thank you for stopping by.


melly 3 years ago

@evans4life; Amen, and thank you very much, may you be more blessed.

@summer; I agree with you by 100% about signs. Signs alone are very confusing. The devil used signs to trick me and thereafter confuse me. I will not advice anyone to rely on signs alone but rather combine evaluation of fruits of the spirit, the Word of God and discernment by the Holy Ghost (wisdom).


sar #wngsh 3 years ago

@evans4life: Thnx for your reply, i feel the same but also i really need God's guidance on this, please pray with me, and also i pray that God gives me the right partner for my life, am finding that i can't even concentrate in church coz am not happy in my heart can't say that am bitter but just feel out of place in church coz i feel like am being looked at as desperate which makes me sooooo uncomfortable.


Summer 3 years ago

I come boldly against this Spell casting nonsense in the name of JESUS! The bible says that when the devil comes in like a flood the spirit of God will rise a standard against him. A standard has been risen against the lies that's being advertised by this Doctor Dave. The daughters of the Most high God will not give into desperation. We serve a God who calls things into existence. The God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Omniscient and MIGHTY is he. We choose to boldly wait on God through the guidance of holy spirit! I pray that you will turn away from this deception and submit to the true and living God who is able to save you! Only the God of the bible is able to restore a relationship. Our trust is in him alone. Father please confound the minds of your daughters that they may submit their thoughts to you and not allow the enemy is whisper thoughts of hopelessness in their minds. Cover each one of us your precious blood I pray in Jesus' name! Amen


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Amen Summer! I try to delete those postings right away. I plead the blood of Jesus on this site!


Inhistime. 3 years ago

I have been sitting here for hours reading the blog, your testimony as well as the comments. Thank you so much it has really helped me. Im almost at the 1 year mark after my break up. It still hurts, this is what brought me back to the Lord and it feels so good to be back. This man abdomen me and our children for his ex. It didn't seem real, but I can say I'm not where I was a year ago..Giving all the glory to God, who has been by my side throughout this entire storm. I no longer hate my ex and his ex, it was so hard but I forgiven them, though he doesn't even call the children(his only kids) I still positively speak about him to the kids. Please keep my children and me in prayer as this journey has been the hardest thing I have ever faced, but as long as God is on my side, that's all that's matter. I'm optimistic one day I will meet my Boaz, in the meantime, I'm doing God work. Blessings to you all.


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Evans4life 3 years ago Author

Inhistime--love the name. What a great testimony. Forgiveness is a healing balm. It releases God's power . Trust God for your Boaz and God will answer prayer in His time. If you haven't already please read similar articles at our personal blog...http://evans4life.net. Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by.


lauren 3 years ago

Thank you all for your posts! This was just what I needed to read today!

I left my husband 6 months ago this month. He physically and verbally abused me until I had no choice but to take action. I am only 19, but since I was 13 I've known that my calling was to be a mother and a wife. I prayed at that time that the Lord would reveal to me my husband, but quickly grew impatient. At 17 I started hanging out in a chat room where I eventually met my husband.

I am so confused. My heart aches. My son is such a joy, but every time he says "dada" I just want to cry because his "dada" is not here. I have acted desperate. I have even gone on dates, but I am so terrible confused. I do not know God's plan for my life.

I haven't divorced my husband because part of me hopes we will be reunited. At the same time, part of me feels he is not the one God intended for me. How could he be? I am the one who initiated everything. As far as I know God had no part in my marriage. I wasn't even married in a church!

I don't where to turn. I don't know how to confirm that our marriage is over. And in the meantime, my heart aches. Because I am terribly lonely. I have no one I can talk to. I have no one I can laugh with or cry to. I reach out when my heart just hurts beyond belief, but I don't feel comforted.

I know God is working in my life. He blessed me with an amazing job. I am a high school graduate with no work experience and I have a job I could NEVER have gotten on my own. He has provided for me.

I just don't know anymore.


Sunshine 2 years ago

Ladies, check out my facebook page I just created so that we can encourage each other while preparing to be Godly wives. I pray everyone will seek God first in everything.He never disappoints

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Preparing-To-Be-A-W...


JAH 2 years ago

I am 36 and divorced with no children. I was married to an abusive, gorgeous yet evil animal. I would lie in bed reading the Bible at night while he watched porn. He eventually slept with my friend and a neighbor and desecrated our marital vows. I was left on my face before The Lord in excruciating pain. We divorced.

Fast forward a year later I meet a man I fall in love with. He is divorced with 3 small children. I fall in love with him and his kids and willingly take on the roll of step mommy. He promised me he'd get his vasectomy reversed and then he proposed. Two months after proposing he calls off the engagement and goes on a drug binge with my brother. I am once again abandoned and devastated. Four years down the tube. Again. Almost 37 and still childless. And abandoned by another man I have my heart and soul too.

I come from a long line of preachers. My great grandfather, grandfather and uncles all Southern Baptist Preachers. I was raised in the church. I know and love God but I am SICK of having my heart torn out of my chest while watching all my friends pregnant with their 3rd child and happily married. Yet most of them aren't even Christians! I watch the blessings of family with others and while I used to be happy for them I am now bitter and jaded and angry. Angry with God for abandoning me just like the men I loved.

I don't care what anyone says. I am so sick of praying for my husband and going on one disastrous date after another. I'm to the point of giving up. And having children is a joke at this point. Beyond jaded.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Jah,

The Bible says the power of life or death is in the tongue. You have spoken defeat into your life. Sometimes we just aren't ready. Sometimes, we ignore signs, sometimes we are just desparate. Try to learn to be content in whatever state you are in as Paul says. That may speak life into your situation. Thanks for stopping by. Stay in touch!


@think@ 2 years ago

Women,ladies, here is something for you to consider. You, as the gender, wanted to be treated equally to men and now you are, somewhat. You, ladies, have the same apportunity, if not better, to get educated and find yourself a career. You also have an apportunity to eat right and lose weight, if needed. If you don't want the fat guy, what makes you think that the guy would want the fat girl? It is actually discusting to look at fat people, let slone make love to them, medical conditions aside-besides, if you have medical condition because you're fat, your fault. Also, just because you are the female does not mean that guys will want to date you. Ladies, you wanted equality and you’ve got equality. If you are not dating or finding anyone to meet with, it is your fault. You have the vocal cords and the mouth with lips, which you can use by asking the guy out on the date. Again, you wanted equality and here it is. The only difference between male and female is their sexual orientation. Do not expect guys to always ask you out because they will not. Next, if you’re anything over 25 years old without the career and the degree, education, you’re not brining anything worthwhile to the table. Ask yourselves, if you want the successful man to date, what makes you think that men will want to date you if you’re not successful ? Ladies, you can take this as the fact or, twist it any way you want to personally satisfy your self image. However, facts still remain facts regardless if you want to believe it or not.


Barbara 2 years ago

@ Think: When women chase or pursue men they open themselves up in a very negative way. The man then becomes the acceptor not the leader or head it is a role reversal straight from the devil, just like feminism. Ladies if you put a man in the position to accept you or reject you what makes you think he will be honest with you. How many honest men have you actually encountered that will say sorry I'm not interested in you. Mainstream society promotes women pursuing men to be married, have kids, become engaged, indulge in fleshly pleasures, etc. ....but are those women happy -NO they are not nine times out of ten. SO Ladies, do not take this persons advice continue to seek God through Jesus and His perfect will for your life and the rest will be added to you in due time.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@Barbara...Amen. Thanks for stopping by.


Steve 2 years ago

What about many of us good innocent men out there that are hoping to meet a good woman to make her our wife? And many of us men really hate going out all the time, and we can never meet a good woman to settle down with since we hate so very much being alone too. I certainly will admit that i hate being alone which is the reason why i will go out every single night just not to be home by myself, and that makes very much sense to me. If i obviously had a loved one to be with, then i would had been home with her.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@Steve..I think the priniples are the same for men---God wants man to be whole and complete until he is presented his wife. Adam was created complete but God said it was not good for him to be alone...He would make a help mate suitable for him. The word "suitable" is the key. Men have many choices, but the choice must be suitable. Until you meet her, rest in the wholeness of Jesus. I applaud you. Thanks for stopping by.


vanessa martin 2 years ago

I'm seeking GOD for a spirit fill save husband i am 59 year of age it's been seven years and i made some mistakes. i need gods help thank's


Anne 2 years ago

There's a boy who I've taken a strong liking to at church, but unfortunately we have never been introduced. He goes to the same University as me, as well as the same christian group. He seems like a very Godly man, as he hosts his own bible studies and very involved in evangelism at my school. I find myself drawn to him very much, and I would like to get to know him better, but I don't know if I should introduce myself, or if I should leave it be. Would that be considered pursuing him? Should I just wait for God to introduce him to me?


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Seeing that you two are in groups together, why not just introduce yourself as a friend or Christrian Sister. The best relationships are built on friendship. Once you are friends, he should be the one to take it further. You can never go wrong with friendship. Keep me posted and thanks for stopping by!


About to Give Up 2 years ago

I have waited for over 2o years and God has not sent me anyone. I can't even get to date wrong men, because no man will ask me out. Christian men are not attracted to me. They like me as a friend, but they always go for someone prettier, younger and more aggressive. I am friendly but also shy. It has been so long since I dated, I feel awkward if a man would ask me how long have I been single and celibate. How do I explain I have not been in a relationship for 20 years because I have been waiting for a Christian man?


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

The man that God has for you will honor you and appreciate you singleness and celibacy. It will be music to his ears. Be encourgaged! There is nothing wrong with you. Continue to seek God and work on yourself. Sometimes men can perceive our lack of confidence and self image and it drives them away. You have to know your worth in God and exude confidence as a daughter of the King. Thanks for stopping by.


Gail T. 2 years ago

I was working on something for ministry and stumbled on your site...GOD is soooo amazing, after reading your testimony I began to weep, you see I am in my 50s and the encouragement I got from what I just read allows me to know I am not forgotten. It is Truly a blessing to read this biblical advice with the world going so against our beliefs. Again I say thank you and more importantly thank GOD for using you in a such a time as this.❤️❤️❤️


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Gail,

May God bless you with the desires of your heart. Be encouraged and keep the faith. Know that His will is what's best for us. Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by.


mbabazi jane 2 years ago

it has been so encouraging, actually i have been actually confused on what to do cos i thought years are going and yet people who comes on my way i feel they are not and yet i really need God''s will for my life cos it is where my happiness is hidden. am so glad to have read your message. may God reachly bless you. am starting now a new journey and He is with me.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Stay encouraged. Get in the will of God and enjoy the ride! Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by!


nia 2 years ago

I love our heavinly father sometimes my faith is not there when it comes too finding a husband.. Ive been going too church off n on trying too live right.. It is soo hard because i attend too get side track into my flesh.. its was too the point i was dating but for some reason GOd would remove these guys out of my life .. now i have got too the point i don't want too meet anyone because they wont stick around.. I do want my husband iam tired if being alone. At times when i see my child father with his babymama i do get jelious and i have got teary eyes. But i kñow he isn't for me.. How do i cope with all these different emotions. Wanting too get right with the lord and wanting that special man in my life...


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Nia: You cope by resting in The Lord...by giving your desires to Him and trusting Him with them. It's easier said than done, but it is a process. You have to cultivate your trust in Him by studying the word and praying daily and not focusing on what you don't have. Enjoy your life and focus on doing you! Leave the husband up to God. Thanks for stopping by!


nia 2 years ago

Wow thankyou i just got comformation someone else told me something similar from your post.. But i will tell you iam not getting any younger37 single never been married.. my focus is letting the lord


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Nia- keep your eyes on the prize...Jesus Christ! Please share my post as well as my other blog, http://evans4life.net with your family and friends. We also have a church clothing website at http://evans4fashion.com. Great clothes! Thanks again and stay in touch!


anonymous 2 years ago

Add Your Comment…hi- last year i wrote and told you i was widowed dec 2012 as my husband of 30 years was called home to be with the Lord.

i miss him. it is getting better each day but i pray for other widows, it is not easy losing one's other half even if one knows that the other one is in heaven with the Lord but with the rod's help,it is comforting and a blessing to know their spouse is in Heaven with the Lord. someday we will be re-united and it will be glorious, but for now i am still a little sad sometimes. i go to church, pray and read the bible and help others- see friends, and work. it is good. my mother is very ill now and i do not know how much time she has on this earth. i pray for the lord to take her home in his time.

also- my husband had told me in the past that i would remarry. i do not know if this will come to pass, i just want the lord's will. i seek him and it is new for me to be alone but i am adjusting. bless you and bless everyone out there. god is good.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

God is good. He hears you and knows your heart's desires. It is very tough watching your mother suffer. With God's strength, He will carry you through and over. I'm praying for your peace.

Please visit our blog, http://evans4life and for a shopping pick me up, visit our store http://evans4fashion.com. Share these sites with your friends and family. Thanks for stopping by.


anonymous 2 years ago

yes god is good i have peace,

last year you said that in his time god would send me another husband, you did not say that now- why is god going to send me another husband in his time like you said?

THAMKS


ANONYMOUS 2 years ago

Proverbs

trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding…in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your ways.

we are accountable for our words.

we have to pray for others and speak the words of the lord. i am thankful and glad that i know who to go to for counsel and wisdom. i have found people for that. they have been gods helpers for me. i am a woman of god and endeavor to speak gods wisdom.thank you for your wisdom. MAY THE LORD BE PRAISED!!!!Halleluiah!!!God continue to bless and keep you Blessings to you.


anony,ouss 2 years ago

hi this is the 3 or 4th i sent in a row and it will be the last- last year you did say : in his time he will send another" husband that is- is that the lord?? will god send me another husband is all- i do not want to be rude- i am just wondering what- what was what- you said in his time he will send another, is that the lord or not- thanks


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

anony,ouss:, I am not a prophetess or a fortune teller who can tell you the future. God is in Control. If you have a personal relationship with Him and are in tune to the leading of the Holy Spirit, then the answer will be revealed to you , not me. God answers prayers according to His will. It is important for you to find out what His will is for your life. The word says He gives us the desires of our heart so when I said he will send another, I stated that based on the Word. You have to know the Word for yourself! Sorry if I mislead you. Thanks for stopping by.


anonymous 2 years ago

dear karen-

in the last note that would be the last one- but in response to your e- i thank you. yes you are right- i am a christian, i was going thru a hard time due to my husband not being here. he is with the lord. we were married for 30 years, he was a blessing to me. the truth is i missed him and was having a hard time being alone. i did meet some chrisitan men and i only love my husband. i probably will remain as i am, i loved him very much, he was my man, he is the lords and he is with the Lord.

thank you for your ministry. i happened on it as i was grieving last year,

you are a good christian- keep following the lord- i will as well. i love you. god bless you- see you in heaven.!!!! The Lord will see us all through!!! tonight i received a word from the Lord as i was reading his word- it was not about a husband by the way- lol- and later i saw ran into a christian sister i had not seen since my husband and i saw her years and years ago.she is remarrried and her husband is good for her- they are christians and we just started fellowshipping . they want to get together with me. i still have married friends that i still see. so- i still love my husband. i love the lord. GOD IS GOOD. have a great day- see you in heaven.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

anonymous- you don't have to stop writing. I would love to continue to hear from you. You are still healing from the loss of your husband. Continue to surround yourself with Christian friends who love you and want what's best for you. I want the same for you. Be strong. Stay encouraged. Come back real soon.


Anne 2 years ago

Hello,

I would like to thank you for the wonderful encouragement you gave me regarding the boy I felt drawn to at church and at school. I finally plucked up the courage to say hello, and I am happy to say we have become pretty good friends. It's all in God's hands now. Thanks again, and God bless :)


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

What a great testimony! You can't go wrong with a friend. Hopefully, if God says the same, it will develop! Stay in touch!


Yaxi 2 years ago

I am a man of 31years. I am single at the moment. I am definitely looking for a soulmate. If u are interested plz contact me on +2207523844. Or email goldenyc2000@yahoo.com. Everything is in the hands of God. Let God brought us together.


Jane Grey profile image

Jane Grey 2 years ago from Oregon

Thank you! Great article and much that I have always practiced and believed over the years—but very good to be reminded of again. :)


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Jane, Thanks for stopping by. Be encouraged!


Mary 2 years ago

I am glad o find such an inspiring article. I am almost 33 years old and have never had a real relationship before and never had sexual relations. I have dated and such but have never found a man that I wanted a relationship WHO ALSO wanted a relationship with me. I have decided to leave this one up to God. He knows what I look for in a spouse.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Mary- What a refreshing testimony. Stay strong in The Lord and in the power of His might. He will blow your mind. Thanks for stopping by.


Rae2Rae profile image

Rae2Rae 2 years ago

Thanks for such a great article! I too am waiting on a godly man, but in the process of waiting and not having sex for a number of years, I found out that I have the what's thought of as one of the "dirty woman's disease". I have herpes and am devastated to know that I have it. I particularly don't feel as if any man would want to marry someone who could possibly spread this to them. I recently met someone who wants to get to know me and he was very open about his issues on our first conversation. I always shy away from men who have so many issues in their lives, but for some reason, I feel like God may have given us this chance meeting because we would be able to lean on each other at times. I don't know how to tell him I have this disease and I don't feel like now is the right time. I don't plan on having sex with him anytime soon, but he was so open with me about his issues. He wanted to put everything out on the table to see if I would run the other way.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Rae, You have to tell him. If he has been open with you, you owe it to him to openup to him. If this is God's blessing, you don't want to keep secrets now. This is what the foundation of a good relationship is built on...truth and openness. If he runs away, he is not the one anyway. Prayerfully have a conversation. Trust God. Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by.


Monica 2 years ago

Thank you very much for your very encouraging testimony. I was feeling very down these past few days and recognize it as an attack from the enemy. The straw today that put me in tears was going to a singles event that was a reminder of the "same ol" I was so discouraged and it was depressing. I reminded myself to get rid of my pride but had a difficult time holding back the tears. Thank you for the reminder to pray for our husband and to know God is faithful!


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Monica- Singles events can be very depressing if you're are not in the right frame of mind. Be encouraged. God knows your heart's desires. Be faithful to Him and He will honor faithfullness. Thanks for stopping by. Share my websites with your friends. evans4life.net

evans4fashion.com. God bless you!


TK 2 years ago

@Vera

I'm not sure your story is relevant for this website. It appears most people here are looking to God for help and not someone who casts spells.

God bless you and I wish you the best.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Thanks Vera, I can't tell you how many of these spell caster stories I get. I delete them all. It is unbelievable. I appreciate you. Thanks for stopping by.


steffsings profile image

steffsings 2 years ago from Pacific NorthWest

Good information. It's important that women and men get involved in doing good, kind, helpful, fun things rather than focusing solely on... 'when is Boaz finally going to arrive'. Might as well enjoy life and use the wonderful spiritual gifts we have now, then If/when a man/woman arrives, there will be lots of good things to share.


Ben 2 years ago

Are you kidding me? Why do so-called "intelligent" people still believe in such nonsense? I suppose you believe in Santa as well?


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@steffsings, Great advice! Thanks for stopping by.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@Ben. Sorry you think this is nonsense. No I don't believe in Santa, I believe in God. Thanks for stopping by!


nnennaya 2 years ago

I am a confused young lady am 3Oyrs am even crying as am typing this, after reading ur article "Don't Waste Time on Relationships That

Aren't Going Anywhere" I realised I actually wasted my time. I was in a relationship for 1Oyrs he kept telling me we will marry but at the end he said his parents won't support him getting married to a lady that attends white garment church. Now am so disorganized, heart broken and regrets is the order of the day. I have no place to go no one to turn to and am of age even getting too old as every body around me reminds me to go and marry that all my friends are all married. Plz what do I do?


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@nnennaya- Although I don't understand what a white garment church is, my advice is to do nothing and wait for God. Go out have fun with friends, work on making yourself valuable and enjoy life. Singles fail to realize that a lot of freedoms you have now will be lost when you get married. Take this time to appreciate. Keep your eyes on God and not on your friends. Thanks for stopping by. Share my blog evans4life.net and my online store evans4fashion.com with your family and friends.


trob 2 years ago

The only thing thid blog did for me was make me depressed and angry.


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@trob- so sorry. Maybe it's your mind set. Try to be positive and grateful. Thanks for stopping by.


princess 87 2 years ago

I am a 27yr old single mother. I work and go to school and take care of my girls. Lord knows I don't understand why I can't find somwone to talk to? I've tried dating site and still no luck.I'm starting to lose hope and get frustrated. Lord please help md to undrstenf


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

You are a Princess in God's eyes. Remember that! It's hard, it takes faith and patience. Stop focusing on what you don't have and focus on the things of God and your girls. Sometimes when we take our eyes. Stay in touch and thanks for stopping by. Share my blog with your friends...evans4life.net and visit my online retail shop, evans4fashion.com


Summer 2 years ago

Still waiting, still holding on. I hate making my life centered around this but its always on my mind. I want to be more involved in ministry but I'm still in school for a little while longer then I get to be a counselor :-) I think it will really help me focus on other things when I'm helping people. I saw this guy online.. been looking at his profile for yearsss.. He seems to be a male version of me but there is only so much you can tell about a person without talking to them.. I finally did, he never responded lol. Was a little disappointed but hey God knows, cares and sets up a divine appointments. It's really confusing at times because it almost seems like the non christian ones think I'm gorgeous and are always interested and the christian ones who seem to have the same values with me seem really picky, which is good of course. I would just love to at least start a friendship with someone who has similar spiritual convictions about God to show interest of some kind. SIGH! Just venting. Holding on. Pray for me! Will definitely pray for all of yall!


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Summer- Enjoyed your vent. Keeping holding on. You appear to have the right frame of mind- keep your focus on others, on ministry. In due time, he will come. I hope you enjoy your summer, Summer. Thanks for stopping by. Share the hubs with your friends. Visit my blog at http://evans4life.net and shop at our online store...http://evans4fashion.com


k0rl0 2 years ago

I am facing some challenges right now. I recently broke up with my ex a couple months ago. I have come back to follow God's will for my life since I was living in sin with my ex. I began dating him because he had a Christian background and attended church and I felt loved by him but he left me twice before. I struggled so much but I leaned on God and years ago God promised he already had someone for me and when he came into my life I would just know. But it's so hard and I'm 27 and just every relationship went wrong. He has called me into ministry that I am still preparing for but I honestly can't seem to shake off my ex. I had already handed everything into God's hands and my ex came back asking to be part of my life because he said he saw how positive I was but of course family and friends told me to tell him to leave me alone. And since then I can't shake it off and I want to contact him deep down inside. I guess honestly maybe I experience doubt because there's no way God would allow someone who is for me to just walk out a couple of times before and then when I'm positive now and full of God's life to try to come back in and have me make the mistake of just letting him go this time around, right? Deep down I'm scared and do wonder, what if he came back to want to stay and be with me and I just pushed him away? If he was the one then he would have fought for me harder and not let me go when things weren't easy and when "I wasn't at my best"

Maybe I wish he would have never came back to stir up all these feelings if he wasn't the one for me after I was already moving on...

But I do realize I have a ministry calling and need to fulfill that first maybe while God also deals with my internal issues for when God actually does want me to have a partner.


Lala 2 years ago

Will God forgive me if I had sex with a married man. The man is actually my daughters father. We were together 4 years before he unexpectedly got married to a women he bearly knew. We definitely have soul ties that hasn't been broken. I feel so horrible!!


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Yes! God will forgive you if you are truly and Godly sorrow. Godly sorrow means that we will give up the sin. Since he is your daughter's father, you are connected for life, but you must find a way to keep the relationship just that. I'm praying for you. Make up your mind to release him in your heart so you can receive who God wants for you.


Reality 2 years ago

God does nothing. If there is a god it is surely divorced from the minutia of our daily existences. If there is a god it is the waking, conscious universe and that is not conducive to giving people to people. We live short, very short lives and have just a small amount of time to enjoy existence. There is no evidence that help will come from elsewhere, for now we must take the responsibility, and prove to the waking conscious universal God whose name is charity and compassion that we are not small minded, pitiful, spiteful, hateful, selfish things.

The only sin is living backwards, stagnating, never growing or questioning or seeking. Go out there and look for something, and even if it isn't a man or woman that finds you, if the answer you get is a small peace of mind that allows you to see what you have in front of you, then it was worth it.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Reality- Thank you for your comment and you are definitely entitled to your opinion, however, I'm not sure what your opinion is. I teach people to live life to the fullest, be happy and complete whether you are married or not- make lemonade out of lemons. It sound as though you believe God is not concerned about our daily lives...when in fact, according to the Word, he is concerned about us. You believe what you want and I will believe what the Word tells me---and let's see who has more peace of mind. Thank you for stopping by.


thuo susan 2 years ago

Await one of my part god preparing me one day at a time aim a single mother of two girls aim29age pls god remember me to have a home I divorce one I try to save .my home now I tell my god pls God give me second chance like ayufh


Jason 2 years ago

There are just too many mean and stuck up women nowadays that are making it very difficult for many of us men trying to find love, and we are certainly not to blame since most women don't even want a relationship anymore.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Hey Jason, You are right, some of us don't want or need a man but underlying it all they probably has had some negative experience in relationships where they have just given up. There is someone out there for you.. keep trusting and believing. Thanks for stopping by!


bobbeth hanniford 2 years ago

Am 42 am seeking of my soul mate am lonely


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Lovingman1966 and bobbeth- Seek God and let Him direct your path in love. Thanks for stopping by!


Annette 2 years ago

After reading most of these comments I stopped feeling sad about my situation. I see others have been waiting a lot longer than me. I'm 24 yrs old. I'm a journalism student graduating in May of next year. I keep telling myself after school is over and I have more free time, my husband will come. I'm not sure why I keep telling myself this like it's true! A couple of people mentioned literally having cravings for their husband. That's exactly how I feel! I literally yearn for him. I know I have to stay patient and work on myself before I add anyone else into the mix but I just can't shake this NEED. I NEED my partner. I can hardly deal with being without him. I have feelings like I miss him. Like I've known him before or something and that I already love him so much. I don't understand it. It's pretty maddening to be honest. It scares me to read everyone's stories of waiting for 20 or 30 years. That scares me. Or being married for 10 or 15 years and having their spouse cheat on them, causing them to start the entire process over! How horrifying! Sometimes I just want to go home already. When I see other people in happy relationships it makes me feel so sad sometimes. I know I don't have it as bad as others. I date regularly and I have friends. I wouldn't say I'm lonely. I have a big, loving family. I'm content with my direction in life. I don't feel "lost". I just miss my husband and I want to be in his arms already....


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Evans4life 2 years ago Author

Right now your husband should be God/Jesus Christ. Any longings you have now are out of his will as he has not provided you with a husband yet. Redirect your longings for Christ. Thanks for stopping by.


in pain 2 years ago

Reading all of the posts I sincerely pray that the almighty continues to work through our lives. I am in a very unhappy situation about a man I am fully aware is the wrong man for me. I pray for strength every day to walk away from his presence, heal and prepare for that healthy encounter that I know I deserve. I am in a very dark place struggling daily to feel worthy and I just ask for prayers as I work towards regaining my happiness, health spiritually and physically and hopefully one day begin the journey of preparing myself for my husband. Blessings to all.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 2 years ago Author

@In pain- You can do all things through Christ! Focus on your purpose in Christ and not your pain or that man. He will raise you up in due season.


Anney 23 months ago

I'm struggling to survive. My husband passed away 10 yrs ago and I still feel like half of my body is missing. I'm tired of people telling me to forget him, he's gone, you have to move on. Its like telling the wind not to blow or the sun not to shine. He knew all the bad things about me.. and he loved me anyway.

I'm trying to connect with God, but it's difficult. I don't blame Him for my husbands death. I just don't know where to begin. I have been studying on my own, then I have sin full thoughts and feel guilty. I just want to feel whole again.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 22 months ago Author

First let me apologize for taking so long to reply. It's been a crazy couple of months for me. Next- start this year off with a new gratitude and appreciation for life. Activate your faith. Just as God brount your late husband into your life, he will bring another if you trust Him. Cast all your care upon Him because He cares for you. Thanks for stopping by.


Trina F 21 months ago

My situation is this.

1) I have never had a desire for kids.

2) I have prayed and asked God to give

me the desire for kids if it's His will that I marry and have them, and to take away my desire for a husband if it's His will I stay single.

I have not lost the desire for a husband, and I still don't want kids.

Hmmm. So I am patiently waiting on God, and unless He reveals that He has other plans, I believe he is preparing my husband, while at the same time

preparing me for marriage.

I also am content in the mean time.

I will continue to walk with God, as He is my priority.

By God's grace I have not settled.

People try to " help" me and set me up,

sometimes mothers want to push me to be with their son, but I want to know that it's GOD'S will and God's choice for me. I am willing to wait as long as it takes, until I meet the man that I KNOW is the right one for me, and he'll

KNOW I am the right one.

The Holy Spirit will lead us.

Praise God.


Evans4life profile image

Evans4life 21 months ago Author

Trina- Good for you. Be sure you are not turning away your gift from God. He uses other people to introduce us to the want He wants us to have. You read my story. Be encouraged and thanks for stopping by.


Cecilia Rose 20 months ago

I'm around 23, I've made that mistake of seeking out a man to keep me happy. I was in love with the idea of being in love. Which led me to have kids young and be in an abusive relationship for 6 years. When I finally gotten out of it. I started rebuilding my life. I tried my best, started working, etc, I had a lot of things to work out and work on. And from my previous relationship I was still feeling unmotivated and would feel as if I wasn't ready for anything, I was by myself for over a year, had tried dating a person who was totally wrong for me, he pursued me, but It was as if I had to teach him how a relationship works, and how to treat the other person, cherish them. So I ended it. I have 2 small boys as well, and he seemed to accept them, but kept them from his mind, so knowing they were there but not really acknowledging them. After this relationship. And I accepted this relationship with the attitude of why not, no harm in trying. But I felt nothing for him. After I ended it, I went back to being by myself. But I enjoyed being by myself. I've enjoyed it for over a year. I wasn't seeking anything, I knew what I was then looking for. I decided to keep waiting, I was in no hurry, and I hoped God would send me the one who'd accept me for who I was. This is when I met my Fiancé, It was online through our mutual love of gaming, he lives in Europe, while I live in America. I didn't think anything of the situation, he sent a request to be friends, I accepted, and we started our conversation about a game we were playing, we spoke for around 5 hours plus straight, we said goodnight shortly, and I thought, ok this is it, going on as usual. The next day he wrote to me again, and we spent the rest of the day speaking as well, I wasn't interested at first, I thought he was interesting as a person, but I was defensive when It comes to relationships. Little by little we opened up to each other, I was pouring my heart out to a person I hardly know, I was freaking out, why was I being so open??! It was so natural, I was smiling everyday, and he was a Christian as well! We had the same morals and he was a kind and generous person. Shortly afterwards he asked me out, I usually prefer to take things slowly and wanted it to take more time. He did lead on this, and I was having trouble with this, because i'm very independent, and had issues with controlling men. But I let him lead, I trusted him 100 percent and didn't even know why. All the barriers I put up I let him pass. He's moving to America soon, has made all the steps to do so, I'm so nervous to meet him, he calls me when he can (due to our time differences.) He leaves me a message for me to read when I wake up, He adjusted his schedule to spend as much time talking with me as he could. (He is owner of his business, which allows for him to adjust his schedule.) We talk every day. And we fell in love, I thought I was in love with my kids father, but it was fake compared to what I feel now. His feelings are mutual, he's only 2 years older than me, but it feels as if we share the same soul, same morals, same beliefs about almost everything. He's 25 and isn't thinking about partying or hanging out with friends 24/7 or what usual 20 year olds are doing and thinking of, I feel he's at the same maturity level as I, who had kids young, and had to grow up fast and be responsible. Though we both have childish tendencies in humor and fun, Like finding it fun to go run off to ride roller coasters and such. I have a strong feeling that this is the person God has chosen for me. He even wants to Marry accepts my kids and loves children, and even wants more. This man reached out and said, I know you have stuff to work on, but i'll be here to support you. Is this what God intended?


Rainchild 20 months ago

Thank you!


Millicent chiku 20 months ago

I hav a oneson and i need a God fearing man


GardenofGreatness 19 months ago

SavvySyi -- Why don't you have any confidence in yourself or your husband?! That's just sad to be honest. It takes two. If you think your husband is that weak minded then are you sure he's a good one? ;-)


Bella 17 months ago

i want tell the world about a great man who save my husband back to me. i lost him for good pass 6mouth i have done everything i could to bring him but it will not work i almost take my life myself. i most say no matter the problem there is a solution to it this man is great and powerful spell caster he help me to bring back my husband.i cant stop thanking him if you ever need the help of this great man you can reach him on doctormoontemple778@gmail.com

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