How Can I Find a God-Sent Husband? I'm Tired of Waiting
On July 31, I will be married four years. I am really grateful to God for blessing me with my husband. But it was a long, long journey for me to walk down the aisle. I can truly relate with all the Christian women who are waiting on God to send them a husband. That was me. You see, I married for the first time in my 50s. Yes, I was one of the rare flowers who refused to settle, and who waited an eternity to marry.
It troubles me when I see the desperation in Christian women and women in general these days. In the African-American community, it is even worse as the ratio of men to women is excruciatingly low. Where are all the good men we would ask? The common answer would be: he’s either already married, in jail or gay. When an available brother would join our church, all the single women would pounce on him like a piece of meat- like bees to honey. It is not surprising how commitment has flown out the window--these guys can have their cake and eat it too. Why? Because we allow them to out of desperation. Some of us just can't be without a man. Our worth is determined by who is on our arm.
We accept anything to not have to be alone. I refused to be in that category. Don’t get me wrong, I cried a many tear. I was hurt and taken advantage of in some situations, but in the end I realized that it was all a part of God’s plan for my life. So if you are amongst the single women in the world and especially if you are a Christian, here are my tips to be patient and allowing God to send your husband to you.
Get Busy Working for God
I was and still am very busy working for God. I found that when I was busy working, I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself because I had no one. If you are a Christian, you want your mate to see you busy working for the Kingdom. In the midst of my wait, my Pastor asked me to start a singles ministry at my church. At first I said no, but then God revealed that leading a ministry like that was all a part of His marriage preparation plan for me. I led our ministry for over 10 years. Leading the singles ministry showed me things that I had done wrong in my dating relationships. It helped me to grow in my relationship with God and as a person. It helped prepare me for marriage.
Let Him Find and Pursue You
He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). If you want your husband to have favor, let him find you. Let him pursue you. It’s okay to show an interest, but these days, the art of pursuit is lost. Women these days will ask a man for his digits, ask him out and pay the way. No! No! Ladies…God created man to be a hunter. Hunting and pursuit is innate in his makeup. If you are doing all the hunting, you've taken away what God created him to do. Furthermore, if you are constantly pursuing, how do you know for sure that he’s just not in it for the ride? Let him pursue! Let him be what God created him to be. I've heard women say “well he’s taking too long”. Please understand and listen when I say that God wants the man to take the lead in relationships. He wants the man to pace the relationship. When women take leadership roles, we can expect disorder in our relationships because we are out of God’s order.
Work on Yourself
What are you doing to make yourself valuable in a relationship? What are you bringing to the table? Strive to improve yourself in education, career, finances and in your walk with God. If you want a Godly man, then you must become a Godly woman. If you want someone debt free, then you should become debt free. You attract what you are. Can you cook? The old adage, "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is true. Just as man was created to hunt and lead, women were created to nurture. Feeding your family is a part of nurturing. Learn to cook the basics and then expand your skills. Take this time to prepare so when he is presented, he will see your worth.
Don't Waste Time on Relationships That Aren't Going Anywhere
If you know this person is not husband material, let him go! As I got older, I did not have time to waste in relationships that were going nowhere. My common line was "I don't think I'm the right person for you". It was better than saying he wasn't the one. Trust me, God will not send you someone if your hands are already full. Why should he? Empty your hands so you can fully receive what God has. Don't waste your time.
Pray for Your Husband Now
Pray for your husband. Whoever and wherever he is, start praying for him now. Pray that God will make him what he needs to be for you and to make you what he needs as a help mate. Pray for his career, his decisions, his finances, his relationship with God.
A mutual friend introduced me to my husband. They were attending the same church which was a different church than I attended. She was led by God to introduce us. As it turned out, we already knew one another- we went to high school together and had not seen each other in over 30 years. During all that time, God was preparing him for me and me for him. It took a long time, but you know what--it was worth the wait. You can be assured that if you wait on God, it will always be worth the wait.