Finding the Courage to Work as a Homemaker, Housewife, or Stay at Home Wife - Even Without Kids!

Finding the Courage to be a  Homemaker, Even Without Children
Finding the Courage to be a Homemaker, Even Without Children | Source

Avoid the Real Housewives Reality Show Stigma

Being a career homemaker without children is certainly not about living a life of leisure while your husband works as the breadwinner, this is a vocation. Though you have the added flexibility of setting your own hours and choosing what tasks to focus your attention too, you must guard your time well. The Real Housewives series showcases the lifestyle of women preoccupied with leisure, obsessed with beauty, engaged in catty behavior, and endless extracurricular activities, this is the polar opposite of God's call to women to work as a helpmate for their husbands.

One of the joys of homemaking is to make your home feel like a bed and breakfast
One of the joys of homemaking is to make your home feel like a bed and breakfast | Source

Article and Photo's by Rain San Martin

Homemakers are Not Just Stay at Home Mom's - SAHM's

In the article: Housewives without Children: Celebrating Life as a SAHW, the author writes of her past experience in the business workplace and how she had made the decision to work as a homemaker creating an "oasis away from the rest of the world", preparing nutritious meals from scratch, making crafts such as wreaths, gardening, and serving her husband as a helpmate, all while being frugal.

"Often, the public is led to believe that you need two incomes to stay afloat. This isn't always so. Get rid of the second car, the gas for the long commutes, the money you spend on take-out and restaurants, and the extra wardrobe costs. When you do the math, sometimes you will realize you are profiting MUCH less than you previously thought."

Today's homemakers with kids can learn a lot from those who relish the craft of homemaking in itself, though they may have no children of their own. Often the art of homemaking gets lost in the Stay at Home Mom mindset. Day's can easily be filled with rushed soccer mom activities and PTA work, rather than tending the nest and pampering their husbands. Though raising children is a deeply important task, when you place a healthy emphasis on serving your husbands and making your home feel like a bed and breakfast, the whole household benefits, this includes you!

But why must there be courage? Because modern society has created such a negative stigma image regarding today's Stay at Home Wife, that choosing to be a vocational homemaker can be like walking against the wind. You must be brave, even radical.


The Application of the Proverbs 31 Wife

How you apply the principles of the Proverbs 31 Wife as a homemaker will be at your discernment. Remember to interpret scripture in light of scripture. Titus 2:5 states that women should be workers at home as their primary vocation, and 1 Timothy 5:8 teaches that a man should provide. Yet if she is industrious she may find time for a part-time home business.

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2: 3-5)"

The Proverbs 31 wife's primary job is that of a homemaker and helpmate, however it also mentions part time business work:

"She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants."

The Work Ethic

As a helpmate without children you should uphold an exemplary work ethic. Once your homemaking tasks have been complete you will most likely have time for a home based business or volunteer work. The most common argument against being a housewife, stay at home wife, or homemaker is the appearance of laziness. Work is a virtue and is God's blessing in our lives.

"Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." (Exodus 20:9-11)

Preparing meals are one of the joys of homemaking
Preparing meals are one of the joys of homemaking | Source

How to Explain Your Homemaking Work to Others

Negative PR given by homemakers themselves in regard to how they describe their work has been a major contributor to the downfall of societies perception of "housewives". In the 1980s and early 1990s, when asked "what do you do?", the homemaker would often respond sheepishly stating "I don't work, I look after the kids. "Do you think women said, "I don't work" before the industrial revolution? They worked hard in their households preparing meals, caring for their families and managing the household. After women had begun receiving a paycheck for their skills out in the "work place", they began to associate work with a paycheck. Though today's homemaker has many more modern conveniences she would not be a good steward of her time if she replaced that spare time with excessive leisure. It should be invested into a part time business, honing a skill or special gift, or volunteer work.

You may at some time hear the following question in a condescending tone:

"What do you do all day?"

How do you answer them? The answer is: with confidence. Always regard your homemaking as work. If you manage your day right you may have time for a part-time business, which you could use to help pay off debt or place in savings while keeping up your skills or pursuing a dream. However, make it a goal not to rely on this income for expenses, or you may soon find yourself cutting into vital homemaking tasks to make ends meet. This is a paradigm shift for most people in this modern society.

Example: Let's practice a realistic conversation, we'll say you are a full-time homemaker, with a part-time Etsy business selling stained glass pendants, you volunteer once a month with Clean and Green, and have no children:

Question: "So what do you do?"

Possible good answer: I'm a homemaker (say with pride while standing tall) and stained glass jewelry craftsmen.

What not to say:

"I don't work. Hubbies the one who earns the paycheck. Oh ya, well I do like to make stained glass jewelry, when I'm not being lazy that is, I've sold a couple of pieces on Etsy."

The word lazy should be banished from your vocabulary.

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31:27)

A homemaker handles all of the domestic affairs of the household, which includes meal preparation, cleaning, organizing, paper work, grocery shopping, and other important errands. Additional jobs may include: gardening, accounting, and household repairs. If you have children there is childcare, the role of a nurse, teaching, and so on.

“Let your work ethic be paragon of diligence when you perform household duties, work on your home business, or perform volunteer work.” -Rain San Martin
“Let your work ethic be paragon of diligence when you perform household duties, work on your home business, or perform volunteer work.” -Rain San Martin | Source

Homemaker Job Titles

  • Housekeeper
  • Administrative Assistant
  • Concierges
  • Nurse
  • Gardener
  • Cook / Chef
  • Professional Organizer

Homemaker job titles for women with children:

  • Nanny
  • Nurse
  • Taxi Driver
  • Teacher
  • Cook / Chef

Your job as a homemaker may not earn an income, yet your work will allow your husband to focus on being a provider, allowing him to relax when he comes home to a peaceful haven. If you have children, they will enjoy this comforting unrushed environment which you can create. You will also have the energy to be a hospitable hostess.

This Stay at Home Mom Explains How She Transitioned Into One Income

Don't Let Society's Expectation of the Two Income Family Trap You

Lack of money can almost always be an excuse for mandating the income of both spouses. Historically before the 1960s, most women would not think twice about whether or not the woman could afford to stay home as a career homemaker, lifestyles adjusted accordingly. Societies definition of "needs" had greatly expanded alongside the women's movement which encouraged women to leave the sphere of homemaking in exchange for an exciting career.

Before the 1960s:

  • Homes were half the size on average
  • The average household had 1 vehicle
  • Lunches were often packed
  • There was less pressure to eat out at restaurants for social gatherings
  • There was no need for day care which can sometimes eat up half of ones paycheck
  • Clothes and furniture were often handed down
  • People lived more simply

Today expectations include:

  • Monthly subscriptions for full service data phone plans
  • Assuming one must pay for a college education, when free learning materials and internships offering hands on experience often teach better
  • Falling into the financial traps of acquiring a pool, the latest big screen TV, or even pets which can cost thousands of dollars per year in care

Carefully reevaluate your life, so you can make the shift to becoming a homemaker, if this is your goal. Learning about the lifestyle of simple minimalism will naturally help you to pare down your possessions making it easier to live on one income.

These Homemakers Without Children Choose to Live in the 1950s, 1940s, and 1930s

Homemaking Must be Re-branded as a Noble Career Choice

If a women is truly free and liberated, then she has the choice to work as a career homemaker, regardless of whether she has children at home. A re-branding movement must be done to shift the view of homemakers, housewives or Stay at Home Wives.

What can I do?

Start by describing your work with pride and encourage other homemakers to do the same. Create a weekly or monthly list of completed tasks and share it with your spouse or close friends. Just as you would run a business, though there is no paycheck involved.

Start a homemaking blog where you share photographs and articles on your noble work. Little by little a cultural movement can begin to shift societies perception of housewives, homemakers, Stay at Home Wives, or Stay at Home Moms. When describing the work you do, seek out the title "homemaker" as it connotes work, rather than simply "staying at home".

Nursing Homes Are a Modern Day Phenomenon

In generations past homemakers would care for their aging parents or in-laws within the comfort of a home. Today it is assumed women must re-enter the workplace full-time once the kids have grown, not only do they have little time to serve as helpmates to their husbands, they assume nursing homes are to care for their aging family. This has unnecessarily lead to bankruptcy and poorer quality of life for seniors. To be surrounded by sick people who are nearing the end of their lives can lead to shorter less full-filling life. And the financial consequences are dire.

It Takes Courage to Be a Homemaker in This Day and Age

If you want to fit in with society, hold a full-time career outside of the home, whether you have children or not. However if you'd like to live a life of faith, follow the biblical model of natural order to experience God's peace. Feminist's of yesterday have made slanderous statements about what a "housewife" is. Though this vocation has been a highly respectable and joyful job for women throughout the history of Earth, it is now an unpopular decision because of the shift of roles.

In the article Housewives without Children: Celebrating Life as a SAHW, the author writes of the societal challenges of this vocation:

"When you choose to be a SAHW, and especially a housewife without children, be prepared for some of your working friends to scoff at the idea or even stop talking to you."

Work with pride and diligence in your daily tasks. Stay true to your call as a helpmate, no matter the harsh words of society. Be brave as you walk against the wind and in doing so you will anticipate the joy that each sunrise brings as you begin your daily work.

coffee sunrise
coffee sunrise | Source

© 2014 Rain San Martin


Lori P. profile image

Lori P. 2 years ago from Southern California USA

Homemaking used to be a perfectly acceptable "career" or life choice. Unfortunately, the Women's Liberation movement seemed to have removed homemaking as a viable choice for women. We were supposed to have been "freed" from being housebound but really, we were supposed to have been liberated from limitations. What is we wanted to focus on homemaking?

My aunt never had children and she gave up teaching kindergarten for being a full-time homemaker. She had to field continuous questioning about her choice even during a time when most women stayed home. But since she didn't have children, she "had no reason" to stay home.

Despite my two college degrees , I stayed home to raise my three children, one of whom had a terminal illness. I didn't receive flak for staying home--until they were grown. Suddenly, I was being "lazy," "not using my brain," or "wasting my potential" because I rather enjoy staying home to create a pleasant home environment.

My husband loved coming home to a home-cooked meal, attentive wife--and no chores to do. But suddenly, I feel like a huge non-income producing burden.

There are more important things than money. And my family and home environment is a testament to why I am so glad I never rushed back to work only to come home too exhausted to deal with my house and family. Too many working mothers I knew admitted to me that they didn't have their best energy for their kids (teachers taught others' kids but didn't have time to help their own with homework!)

The only thing I would suggest to those staying home today is to be sure you set up some protections for yourself. Death or divorce is never expected but can occur, leaving a stay-at-home wife very vulnerable when she either has no job skills, education or experience. And she must have good self-esteem in place because there is that unspoken truth that "he who makes the gold, makes the rules."

I certainly don't get a lot of respect from others but I don't care.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

What a great testimony! A serene home environment is priceless. I also agree that a woman should develop and maintain business career skills.

trailrunner7 profile image

trailrunner7 2 years ago

Excellent and encouraging article! I've been a homemaker for almost all of my 41 years of marriage, and my husband often states that his success is my success and vise versa! We're a team, and each does what they are best suited for. After our children were grown, I took a full time job for a few months, because of the feeling that it was what I "ought" to do. It was a disaster! My husband had to pick up the slack for me, because I was unable to do all I had done before. I was grumpy much of the time and always felt rushed. Ultimately, it hurt us financially, because my husband was not able to work as efficiently as he had when I was a full time homemaker. This lifestyle suits us to a tee and I feel perfectly fulfilled, having time to pursue my artistic aspirations, occasionally babysit my grandchildren and visit with my friends at coffees and bible studies.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Thank you for this testimony!

thefedorows profile image

thefedorows 2 years ago from the Midwest

Congratulations on being on Hubpages for a year! This is a lovely hub and it is clear you are writing with passion from experience. I am sure your husband is thankful for you!

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Your encouragement is greatly appreciated!

Brie Hoffman profile image

Brie Hoffman 2 years ago from Manhattan

I'm trying to get a job doing this right now.

poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 2 years ago

Lovely article. Now if I could just get the wife to get job that would support both of us!

erinshelby profile image

erinshelby 2 years ago from United States

It's interesting that you mention housing the elderly in nursing homes rather than with family. This certainly impacts medical costs and the quality of care they receive.

Marie Flint profile image

Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, FL

I agree with the importance of the homemaker, who in modern terms is an accountant, social secretary, and property manager. Child rearing and boosting the husband's morale requires interpersonal skills and an inborn sense of human psychology that no book can teach.

If any successful homemaker thinks she has no skills or experience, she is betraying herself and is simply dead wrong!

Unfortunately, there are men who buy into modern social pressures and feel they are inadequate to provide. Also, depending upon their relationship to their mother, who now days probably works out of the home if she's not retired, a clean home, home cooking, clean laundry, and all the benefits associated with a quality life may not be appreciated, only undermining the homemaker's self esteem.

A healthy family nucleus is the backbone of our society. A sick family structure creates a sick society where crime makes headline news.

Congratulations on your Hub of the Day!

ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

Congratulations for HOTD!

A very detailed and thoughtful analysis about Homemakers. Family members and the society as a whole must respect the homemakers, for providing each member of the family, a comfortable home and a peaceful life.

Well done hub, voted up!

Dbro profile image

Dbro 2 years ago from Texas, USA

I love this hub! I have never regretted my decision to become a homemaker after the birth of my youngest child almost 21 years ago. There have been challenges and sacrifices made in order for me to fill this role, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. One of the most fulfilling aspects of my work is that everything I do is motivated by love - you just can't beat that!

I've also been able to develop my art. This is not only a supplement to our household income, but a passion and truly a part of who I am as a person. Thank you for speaking out about this way of life and having the courage to, as you say, "walk against the wind."

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 2 years ago from North Carolina

Congratulations on the HOTD award. This is a thorough, thoughtful and thought provoking hub. Your photos are beautiful.

I enjoyed reading this in support of women who are able to stay home and choose this as their career. It is important to support each other and all choices of careers.

Although I had a career in mind when I was a teen, I would have loved to have stayed home to nourish household, children and husband. Unfortunately, that was not what happened. My husband turned out to be an ungodly man who did not honor his role as husband. After six years of marriage I left him, bringing my two daughters with me. I ended up with a career as a nurse, a second marriage and both were fulfilling.

I do support families who are one income families, and also, the idea that a woman has many options.

Thanks for your wonderfully presented article. Loved it! UP/U/I and sharing.

Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

I love this hub and congrats to your HOTD! I am also a homemaker and it isn't about sitting in front of the TV watching soaps and eating bon-bons! That is what today's women and men think. They think that we do all that and just sit around doing nothing. That is the furthest from the truth. Hooray for the women who is the caretaker of the home, the garden and her husband!!!

MimiKat33 profile image

MimiKat33 2 years ago from Northeastern NY State, USA

I chose to leave my profession and stay at home to care for my granddaughter. To this day, 6 years later, I am still thrilled each day to wake up and be the master of my day. I used to be apologetic when I said I didn't work but now I am proud of being the caregiver for her and my home. I am so lucky, to have the time to spend on what I love to do and to have the time to get projects around the house finished....and to see daylight in person, not through a sealed, air-conditioned, office setting. Kudos to this HUB- great job.

LiliMarlene profile image

LiliMarlene 2 years ago

Thank you for this wonderful article. You have no idea how much I wish to find the right man to live this and make my dream come true. This is what my mother educated me for and I do believe in this proverb as well. This article is really worth being chosen as the "Hub of the Day". All the best for you!

sharonchristy profile image

sharonchristy 2 years ago from India

That must have required some courage to write what you just did... Thank you for that well-thought-out, clear hub.

Maricarmjolo profile image

Maricarmjolo 2 years ago from Jubail, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

Very inspiring! This article makes me feel more proud to be a housewife :)

MakinBacon profile image

MakinBacon 2 years ago from Louisville Area

Great hub

Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 2 years ago from Germany

Congratulations on the HOTD! A very deserve article about homemaker women. Thanks for sharing this awesome hub. Women should be proud to be a homemaker.

Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 2 years ago from Philippines

If I would go back in time, I would probably still chosse to be a stay at home mom. Those years spent taking care of our home, raising our children even homeschooling them for some time are all time well spent. I may have not brought home any income but I certainly helped save a lot of money for my family.

Thank you for putting so much nobility and pride in the work that SAHWs and SAHMs do.

Lori P. profile image

Lori P. 2 years ago from Southern California USA

It's not just the money saved. It's the time spent with kids, taking care of hubby and home. And doing it with the energy and enjoyment you wouldn't have if you had to work full-time, too. I really enjoyed those years being able to come up with enriching activities for us all, planting flowers, putting nice touches on our home, being efficient at caring for them with home-cooked meals and lunches. Yes, I cleaned up after them but when you love someone, you love taking care of them in every way. It truly was a labor of much love. Plus, there was a lot of ME time, too, so I did all sorts of fun things, including having lunch with friends, writing, doing arts and crafts and getting my master's degree.

Unless a woman has fulfilling and meaningful work outside the home, why would she trade the fulfilling and meaningful work inside her home for a paycheck? Assuming she isn't reliant on that paycheck to survive, of course. Most women don't have any other choice but to do double duty.

We scraped by financially but it was a good trade for all the great times we had together. You really don't need much money to enjoy family life.

Alise- Evon 2 years ago

Excellent hub. At the age of 47 I had to be brave and leave my career. Part of the reason was to re-establish the proper order in the family, like you allude to. It was the best decision I have ever made.

I could say much about it, but I will just say, "Thank you" for encouraging women to consider returning to their natural role- we really are happier when we are circles sitting in the circular space instead of trying to jam ourselves into the square one.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Best of luck to you Brie.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Marie, thank you for your insight and suggestions via email.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Chitrangada, It was your message that informed me about my first Hub Of the Day, thank you.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Diane, Your testimony on homemaking is appreciated. I wish you continued success in your art business as well.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Denise, Thank you for your perspective and encouragement.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Debra, The "sitting in front of the TV watching soaps and eating bon-bons" stereotype was one of my biggest motivators for writing the article. A re-branding must be done. Thank you.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Mimi, This statement "I used to be apologetic when I said I didn't work but now I am proud of being the caregiver for her and my home." illustrates what so many women have done in the past, having to defend their work (without a paycheck). The homemaker should proudly state their homemaking profession just as you do now.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Lili, Your encouragement is appreciated. Best of luck with finding Mr. Right.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Sharon, I was hesitant to write articles on this topic, yet I knew the message desperately needed to be communicated. Thank you.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Maricar, I am honored to be able to encourage others in this important role.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Makin Bacon, Thanks for reading.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Thelma, May we inspire a new generation of women to be proud to work as a Homemaker. Thank you.

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Chin, It can be shocking how much a frugal woman can save with homemaking, not to mention the priceless service work. Thank you.

Heather 2 years ago

What an important hub article! Our society would be so much better as a whole if women embraced this honorable role. Thank you for having the courage to write this!

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Heather, A less harried household would be the end result, as well as more respect for men. Thank you.

Better Yourself profile image

Better Yourself 2 years ago from North Carolina

Congrats on HOTD! This is an excellent hub and I like your phrase 'Homemaking Must be Re-branded as a Noble Career Choice'. It is a shame the role of stay at home wives and moms has lost respect in today's society - it is a noble and hardworking role! Well done!

thefedorows profile image

thefedorows 2 years ago from the Midwest

A belated congratulations on HOTD!

Brett Winn profile image

Brett Winn 2 years ago from US

One of the loveliest hubs I've ever read. I have a college degree, but have been a homemaker, homeschool mom and writer since I got married nearly 30 years ago. For a number of reasons, I've never quite achieved the serene "bed and breakfast" image you've mentioned here, but I am inspired to try! Thank you for this soothing and inspirational hub!

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 2 years ago from Fort Wayne Author

Brett, The serene "bed and breakfast" ideal, is that place which we aspire our home to be. It's about the journey, never perfection. Thank you for your words.

kiddiecreations profile image

kiddiecreations 5 months ago

I love your hub! As a homemaker who works part-time and has a toddler (and one on the way) I really appreciate your insights. Homemaking really is a lost art in many ways, but an important job none-the-less. Keeping the home tidy and making meals for your family, as well as keeping up with laundry and household maintenance, and caring for the children (if one has any) are really jobs that do require real WORK! And often it is those daily, mundane tasks that go unnoticed or unappreciated (and of course, unpaid!) However, they are really important, and I like how you referenced Proverbs 31 as well to highlight the significance of a wife who is honoring to her family and to God! Making a house a home is a sacred occupation! Thank you and God Bless :)

rainsanmartin profile image

rainsanmartin 5 months ago from Fort Wayne Author

Thank you for your comment. May you continue to bless your family with your dedication.

Lori P. profile image

Lori P. 5 months ago from Southern California USA

I revisited this hub again, and I really missed the mark the first time I commented because I realized what you are saying is that there is an important homemaking role even without kids. And this is so true. In fact, it was the mark of a successful husband when he could afford a stay-at-home wife. The perks were so great socially, personally--and financially. A working wife has high costs, too, even in paying higher taxes when you go up a tax bracket. But money aside, most men find they enjoy a homemaking wife to keep those "hearth fires" burning with life and love in the home. Now that I am older and have debt to help pay off, I have returned to work but I sure miss my homemaking years.

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    Rain San Martin (rainsanmartin)84 Followers
    36 Articles

    Rain is a composer, digital artist, writer and homemaker. Fan of coffee and sunrises, in Fort Wayne, IN with husband Sage and two children.

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