Falling in Love With the Wrong Person for All the Right Reasons

Updated on August 8, 2017

Most of us have loved people who were not right for us at some point in our lifetime. Maybe the timing was off, maybe we needed to grow individually, or maybe they were just lessons that we needed to become the people that we're meant to become.

People who loved the wrong man or woman usually say that it was painful and it really changed them. They learned to embrace the pain and to live every day of their lives with that void caused by the people they loved. They blamed themselves for being not good enough or for not fighting for that person that much. Some of them even regretted having met that person and wished that they could turn back the time to undo their mistakes.

Loving someone, whether he or she is right or wrong for us, is never an accident. We meet people either to change our lives or for us to change theirs. If we try to understand and look into the positive, there are good reasons why falling in love with a wrong person is a stroke of luck.

  1. It tells us what we need in a partner - We don't settle for just anybody. It is true that love is not enough and other factors such as compatibility, desires, sexual connection do matter. We start to look for criteria in our partners which help us decide wisely before pursuing someone.
  2. We build confidence and self-love - It's funny how people sometimes say that they could love someone so much even if they don't love themselves enough. But what is good about having self-love is we just don't tolerate the bad behaviors of our partners because we value our worth more. We are not afraid to walk away from a relationship if we are not treated the way we deserve to be treated. We are confident in what we are bringing in the table and our value does not depend on how our partners treat us.
  3. We learn how to love someone - Even if it did not work out, we learned how to treat people well and how to love them the way we want to be loved. Even if we did not get the kind of love we gave them, we learned how to care and love someone truly. Don't regret that we loved them so much and they did not reciprocate our feelings, but be thankful for the lessons and experiences.
  4. Maybe we can do better- When one door closes, another one opens. We won't have these lessons if we are not meant for something better. Let us look into these heartbreaks as trainings, that we needed to learn something from these and we continue growing as better people. Just because someone did not appreciate us, it doesn't mean that no one ever will. Continue learning, continue improving and make these heartbreaks as inspirations to be stronger, wiser and better.

One day, we will remember all those hurtful experiences we had that shaped us to become the people that we are now. We won't remember the pain anymore but the lessons that we learned from these experiences.


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    • June Liandra profile image

      June Liandra 6 months ago from State of Wyoming

      i think the right person comes in different shapes and sizes and we'll never know who, i'm still waiting for someone who's gonna devote his life for me, i used to devote my life for others,

      anyway nice hub :)

    • MrManifesto profile image

      MrManifesto 6 months ago from South Carolina

      i had a gf when i was a kid, 14 maybe? we kissed and hugged, i thought this was the girl i'll marry one day, then we got separated in classes and then schools, even though we're neighbors, she found someone else, i was so sad, but now that have my wife, i know she's the right one for me

    • TimFilmoore profile image

      TimFilmoore 6 months ago from Los Angeles CA

      i had my first divorce last year and i felt like the feelings would never change, but they did, she is the one for me but i guess not right now? hahah, great hub!

    • profile image

      Ivonaharcar 6 months ago

      Thank you for this article! I am in a situation of loving the wrong person right now and you are completely right! I am looking for the moment when the pain is gone.

    • Emilea Andrews profile image

      Emilea Andrews 6 months ago from UK

      I've been in abut 3 relationships and in the first few moments in the start of them, I thought, this guy might be the 'one', now that i remember those feelings, I just laugh and learned to observe first before falling to the state of loving the 'one', great hub!