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All Couples Are Unconsciously Unfaithful at All Times

Val offers his views on dogmatic aspects of cultural paradigm with its religious, political, and medical sterile indoctrinations and taboos.

There are not those who do it or they don't -- but only those who admit it or they don't.

There are not those who do it or they don't -- but only those who admit it or they don't.

I think infidelity is difficult, monogamy is difficult, and marriage is difficult.

— Maura Tierney

In the Mood for Exposing Yet Another Hidden Human Truth

Nothing in the following post should come as a shock to any of those readers already familiar with my oddly straightforward, if not at times downright blasphemous mindstyle.

While they must have already learned to forgive much of it, as for all others, let their mental claws come out as often as they want for a gesture of protest -- eventually they'll get used to it reading my stuff.

So it may be the case with this post, where I am challenging everyone's wedding vows as only a nice conscious intention to stay faithful "till death do us apart" -- while an unconscious devil is giggling and saying: "Yeah, right."

What else to expect from this mind of mine that's operating on whims of intuitive brainstorming, turning every stone over for hidden alternative human truth, and seeing an overdue expiring date on every taboo?

My intellectual adventurism took me many forbidden places, and it has become a lifelong passion of playing an "Indiana Jones" roaming over the vast fields of human pretenses and lies.

Now, not that those ideal love stories don't exist outside of paperback novels, there are exceptions to every rule -- after all, even a clock that stopped shows a correct time twice in 24 hours -- but in that case, don't ask what time it is.

Likewise, don't bother thinking too much about those isolated cases where Romeo and Juliette stick to everything they promised over that balcony rail.

What I am about to try hard to convince you about is that the only unconscious instinct in the brain's hierarchy stronger than instinct of procreation is the instinct of survival. Now, you can disagree as much as you want, but that's the unholy trait that we inherited from the whole line of lower living creatures on earth.

Yes, we want to live and we want to multiply, and it's much more of a strong unconscious tandem in us than we are willing to believe, let alone admit.

They are fueled by two opposite and strongest emotions that we are capable of producing -- fear, for instinct of survival, and orgasmic excitement, for the instinct of procreation, which we will call eroticism, just to make it a little closer to our much "advanced" nature.

As we are about to see, these two powerful flames have undergone quite a refinement by a much more civilized front lobe of the brain, giving birth to a whole emotional spectrum as we know it -- some of it quite dignifying and hardly recognizable for its crude origin.

Eroticism took quite some refinement in our culture -- it's not "all porn".

Eroticism took quite some refinement in our culture -- it's not "all porn".

There's so many different ways to cheat. People think infidelity is the way to cheat. I think it's sometimes far worse to emotionally cheat on somebody.

— Sandra Bullock

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Eroticism and Survivalism Turned On at All Times

Just like a strange noise in the house may wake you up at night, so the sight of someone attractive of another gender disturbs the bells of unconscious eroticism.

(With gay folks, just convert it into the same gender, and the same will apply).

Like it or not, our primordial instincts of that enormous power don't give a rat's ass about our social norms of decency. Countless crime records of killing, or risking to get killed, for a desired love, are convincing enough to show how close these two instincts are. Doesn't it remind you of two beasts fighting to the death for a female that they both chose to mate with? That's how primitivistic that instinct is at its core.

But then, of course, as mentioned earlier, both key emotions got majorly refined over the long process of our brain's evolvement.

Like, fear got cultivated into jealousy, sadness, guilt, shame, seeking a status of an "alpha in the pack," greed, which is the survivalist need for amassing means of survival for fear of scarcity, and territoriality, which turned into its noble derivative of patriotism.

Eroticism evolved itself into love, happiness, spirituality, altruism, art, music, dance, playfulness and humor -- maybe missed some.

Interestingly, both instincts are turned on at the same time, as orgasmic facial expressions remind us of experiencing pain, spasmodic laughter uses the same diaphragm and solar plexus nerves as a spasmodic sobbing.

Furthermore, be reminded of those who are indulging in rough sex, and also feel free to wonder why many people get erotically aroused during thunderstorms which are normally alerting our survival instinct.

Now, hoping that you are sufficiently impressed with the magnitude of erotic instinct and its working in tandem with the most powerful of all instincts -- the one of survival, shall we get closer to our main theme?

All it takes is some self-honesty to see some hidden truths.

All it takes is some self-honesty to see some hidden truths.

In a way, fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb.

— Miroslav Volf

Let's Face It: We Are All Damn Unconscious Cheaters

Covered well under the threshold of awareness is this volcano of desire to live and to procreate -- masked under much rationalizing. Like, when your wife is slapping a coat of makeup on her face, you just approve, being fond of your woman's taking care of her looks, right?

In reality though, unconsciously she still wants to be wanted by other males, and envied by other women in the herd. In her mind, her hunt for a man is over, and that should mean that her need to look attractive should be over as well, right?

While it may be so with female deer, it's not so with a woman. But listen, you can't blame her for two good reasons. First, she is totally unaware of it, and second, by blaming her, you might as well see yourself as an unfaithful dog for checking out your friend's wife when no one is looking.

That's what I am trying to make clear here: It's stronger than us, it's in our default biology, together with breathing and heartbeats. Over 90% of all mental processes are unconscious, meaning that we have no control over it. While we can suppress it when it surfaces -- we can't prevent it from being there, strong as it is.

Indeed, this unconscious eroticism is as much of reflex as is our salivating when we see someone licking lemon, or yawning.

Now, how is it surfacing in its less recognizable forms in the collective consciousness?

Have you noticed how ever since the so-called "sexual revolution" started some decades back, rock'n roll, twist, and most of the modern dancing music involves dances doing it in groups, not any more couples holding each other?

You see how they are rocking a lot with the midsection of their body and facing one, then facing another, then every next one in the group. I bet, you never thought why.

They don't know either; it just "feels" like a more liberating way of dancing as opposed to the previous styles where they were "tied" to a single partner.

Ever thought about the coincidence of those highly successful "business-machos" and super-survivors who are also highly sexed individuals, rarely loyal to a single woman?

Now, before I leave this theme -- please don't start spying on your sweetheart's eyes when a good-looking human specimen is around -- the whole thing is, again, unconscious, involuntary, and you are probably the only person they want to spend the rest of their days with.

Love is beyond our unconscious urges, just like grooming, healthy eating habits, and cleanliness is beyond what we would look like if we just gave in to all unconscious primitivisms of neglect.

We are conscious beings, but still fallible, which is evident from so many divorces and so many heartaches, and so much adultery -- all stemming from our unconscious urges winning over our integrity.

This article didn't have a purpose of downgrading sincere love, but to point at some unconscious forces which are strong enough to overtake our hearts if we lose sight of what makes our hearts happiest.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Val Karas

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