The Secrets of a Happy Marriage
All types of relationships take a great deal of work for real success. There is no easy way around that and there is no secret. Why? Well, I am going to give you great tips below that couples have practiced since the beginning of time. Now, I am sure that you have been told numerous times what you need to do in order to have a happy marriage, but you have failed. My focus now is to teach you why you have failed and how you can get back in the game.
The Hidden Formula
What was your grandma's secret? How did she manage to be with one man for 50 years of her life? Is there a special hidden formula for successful and happy marriages? The answer is yes, although I said before there is no secret.
There are good habits or practices that all happy marriages have in common. I encourage you to take action and put them to practice daily, that will be the only way you can see results.
As you practice these tips keep in mind:
- Relationships are not a "one size fit all" type of thing. Every single relationship has its own needs. It is up to you and your loved one to figure out the individual needs of your relationship. As you grow together you will know what makes you happy, eventually, that's what will work for you.
- Your partner may need extra encouragement to join you on the "Happy Journey."
- Your marriage may need to be evaluated. You need to evaluate your marriage to see exactly where your problem lies. You may be discontent for the wrong reasons.
Secret # 1: Forgiveness
Happy couples learn to forgive. You are not perfect and neither is your partner, so learning to let go of the things that hinder your happiness will result in more loving and enjoyable moments. Forgiving is not always easy. Don't expect this to happen as a miracle, it will take lots of practice, time, and patience to perfect it. One way to appreciate the value of forgiveness is to think about the consequences of not forgiving. Not forgiving your partner will equal bitterness, less shared moments together, and emotional disconnection. If you are truly in love, you don't want any of that to happen.
Secret # 2: Acceptance
Happy couples accept each other. You need to accept your partner for who he/she is. Couples who are often trying to "change" each other just add tension to the relationship and that tension becomes a stone on the road to happiness. One way to be more accepting is to remind yourself of what initially attracted you to your partner. Another way is to celebrate the positive things and give less importance to the negatives. Remember that acceptance is one of our basic needs and no one should be deprived of it. There are things that you and your partner will need to change for the better, but neither of you should feel pushed or forced to do it. A happy couple grows together as well.
Happy couples accept each other.
Secret # 3: Good Communication
Good communication is what brings all of the other components of the relationship together. You need good communication to work out your conflicts, which will be key in a happy couple. Communication will be the method in which you will let your partner know your needs.
Secret # 4: Quality Time
Good quality time is what helps a relationship to maintain its connection. Happy couples make it a priority in their relationship to spend time with each other. Once you get married, your daily responsibility can become overwhelming and can force you to deprive yourself of enjoyable moments. You and your partner need to set aside time for fun. This is very personal so you will need to talk and make an agreement on what works best for you. Don't overthink it! A lot of couples have lots of excuses when it comes to spending time together because they feel that they need to go all out. In reality, your quality time could be at home, at the park, at a coffee shop, or whatever works for you. What truly matters is that you are together and devoting time to each other.
Secret # 5: Teamwork
Often, couples see each other as opponents. Why? Well, a lot of people think that if your way of seen things doesn't sit well with them, you are against them. Happy couples, however, are on each other's team. They know that their partner is not their competition. They work hard together to achieve their goals. Couples who know how to be a great team, also experience less stress. You have to first build trust and teamwork will follow. Being a team also means that you will share your responsibilities, goals and that you will be supportive of those goals that you may not necessarily agree with.
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
Like I mentioned before, marriage takes work. You need to educate yourself to know how to handle specific issues in your marriage as they arise. Ed Young's book The Ten Commandments of Marriage is a great book I can recommend you to read with your partner. You can also print articles like this one to read together during your quality time.