35 Signs That Your Husband Still Loves You
Does My Husband Still Love Me?
Perhaps you and your spouse fell in love a long time ago and have been married for several years (even decades), or maybe you are newlyweds. Well, congratulations! We all know that true love is all about growth, and it's quite natural for husbands and wives to go through periods of uncertainty. It is also common to wonder if they still care.
Maybe you two are like best friends and still go grocery shopping together but your relationship lacks intimacy, or maybe you're worried about a specific scenario—in a media-heavy time when we are bombarded with gossip of infidelity, affairs, and cheating, unhealthy thoughts are constantly put into our minds. But if you still spend time together, trust each other, and feel loved, you are likely doing well.
For all of you women in committed relationships left wondering if your husband still loves you, let's talk about the tell-tale signs that he does!
35 Signs Your Husband Still Loves You
- He's in-tune with you. He seems to always be on the same wavelength as you. It's as if he's inside your mind, finishing your thoughts and sentences. He remembers what you say, and he listens to you with a smile on his face. A man who is in love with his wife listens to her.
- He meets your needs. He takes care of your needs. If a man truly loves you, he’ll always look for little ways to make your life better, be it covering you with a blanket when you’re cold, charging your cell phone even when you don’t ask him to, or serving the better piece of chicken to you when you’re not looking.
- He gives you thoughtful gifts. When he is out with his friends or traveling, and he spots something in a shop window that he thinks you need, he picks it up for you because he’s thinking about you always.
- You’re always a part of his big plan in life. The things that matter to you matter to him. If he is planning to go on vacation, he makes the plans with you. He speaks about his future and his dreams with you, and you have a prominent place in them.
- He shows you off. How he behaves when you are out in public says a lot about how he feels about you. If he walks with you shoulder-to-shoulder and holds your hand instinctively when you’re in a crowd, or places his hand on your back while crossing the street, then he is committed and proud to be with you. He also likes showing you off.
- He confides in you. If he trusts you enough to share his problems and insecurities and to seek your advice, it means that your opinion matters a lot to him. He speaks his truth and wants you to be there supporting him.
- He seeks your opinion. He doesn’t make any important decisions about his own life without hearing your opinions and having a discussion with you. You are his life partner, so any decision must involve you too.
- He's affectionate. He treats you with spontaneous displays of affection. He wraps his hands around you or stands closer to you when you are among friends. He kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone; it’s a way of letting the world know that you’re the one he loves.
- He gives you access. If he allows you to answer his phone calls, it means there’s absolutely nothing he wants to keep concealed from you. If your husband lets you grab his phone, he is not hiding anything.
- He uses "we." If your husband is fond of using the word “we” instead of saying “I” or “me” while talking and pays you compliments when you least expect it, he loves you. To him, your relationship is much more than just woman and man—you are husband and wife and your life is one.
- He’s very protective of you. He definitely wants to protect you and reassure you. If you’re taking a trip by yourself or even if you’re just driving out with friends, does he like receiving your call after you get to your destination? If your man can only relax knowing that you’re safe, no matter where you are, he definitely has a special spot for you in his heart.
- He’s very interested in your life. If your man loves you, he’ll always be eager to know everything about you. He wants to know what you think about and what makes you laugh. He asks questions because he cares about your answers, and he remembers your answers, too. He knows your favorite color and just how you like your coffee.
- He wants to see you happy. If you had a bad day or you’re upset about something, he wants to cheer you up because he genuinely wants you to be happy.
- He helps you out. He is always ready to offer a helping hand every time you ask him even if he’s busy, without unnecessary grumbling. He believes helping you out of any tight situation is his responsibility.
- He can't stay mad. He can’t stay mad at you for any reason for more than a couple of hours. People in love can’t stay mad at each other for long; it hurts both lovers too much.
- He says "sorry." He swallows his pride and apologizes first even if it’s not his fault in any way. If your husband is generally forgiving and tolerant of your faults, that is a very good sign that he still loves you.
- He communicates. He keeps you informed about his life and what he’s up to even though he knows he has no obligation to do so. He doesn't keep secrets from you.
- He's respectful. He treats you with a lot of respect. He doesn’t stare at other girls or women when you’re around.
- He listens. He respects your intellect and doesn't interrupt you in the middle of a conversation.
- He misses you. You are the one he wants to wake up to each day. He finds that when he is not with you, you’re the last person he speaks to or texts at night. He can’t stop thinking of you. He is consumed with thoughts of you. When you call to find out how he is faring, he keeps you on the phone, telling jokes. You're the last thing on his mind every time he wakes up or goes to sleep.
- He compromises. Instead of insisting on his ways, he doesn’t mind compromising. He sacrifices his happiness to see you happy. This means he understands the spirit of give-and-take in relationships and he is ready to ensure you are happy. It could be something as small as choosing a restaurant that prepares your favorite food when you’re eating out, or going to see a movie he didn’t really want to just because you are interested in it, or missing a night out with friends because he wants to be with you.
- He likes your family and friends. He makes an effort to be liked by your friends and family. He treats you in a way that you think would make your parents and your friends happy and he cares about what your friends and family think of him.
- He talks a lot. If a man loves you, you’ll find that he opens up really easily to you and talks a lot about everything—be it his life, his work, or even about how annoying his friends really are.
- He wants to spend time with you. If he loves spending his spare time with you and his physical attraction to you is undeniable, that is a very good sign that the wheel of love is still very much working. It doesn’t matter to him what you two do, it is just enough to be with you. No matter how busy he is, he doesn’t want to miss a romantic night with you.
- You are a priority. He loves having conversations with you. He goes out of his way to be with you. Whenever you are around, every other thing takes a back seat because you are more important. If he has to cancel a date for any reason, he’ll do everything it takes to make it up to you on the next date.
- He stands up for you. A man who truly loves his wife will stand by her side even if she’s in the wrong and criticize her in private, but never in public.
- You're his number one. If he has to choose between you and anything else in the world, you come up on top because he doesn’t value anything or anybody more than you.
- He remembers your anniversaries. He never forgets your special days, be it your birthday or anniversaries. He makes sure he buys you a gift to mark the occasion.
- He never wants to hurt you. He doesn’t get annoyed with you even if he’s busy and you demand his attention.
- He thinks you're perfect. He falls in love with your flaws and thinks you’re perfect just the way you are.
- He only has eyes for you. At a social gathering, although he can’t help but notice a beautiful woman, he will be so attracted to you that many of them will slip by unnoticed. He never gives any girl much attention because you are his universe even if he meets a celebrity. The only woman that matters to him is you, and your feelings mean a lot to him.
- He checks you out. You catch him gazing at you adoringly when he thinks you are not looking. When a man stares at you, his affection runs deep.
- His eyes do the talking. If he gazes in your eyes with a sparkle in his, there is a good chance he really cares about you. Men are guarded when it comes to showing emotion.
- He appreciates your gifts. If he wears clothes you bought for him with pride, and cherishes gifts you give him, he loves you. Consequentially, every time your husband does don some item you bought for him, he’s showing that he is happy with you.
- He's intimate with you. If your husband has interest in physical intimacy with you, he loves you.
A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
— UnknownWhen Is It Time to See a Marriage Counselor?
Couples therapy and seeing a couples therapist can certainly save a marriage if both husband and wife put in the work and talk through their issues. If things do not seem alright, then you need to do something before your marriage faces serious challenges. You can start by asking each other some important marriage counseling questions to prepare for therapy.
Sometimes it is essential to learn how to communicate your needs in conversation. While it is tempting to leave a tired marriage—especially a sexless, emotionless, or neglectful one, sometimes it can be saved. Are you experiencing any of these warning signs he may be cheating?
- He keeps his distance in public: If he keeps off of you in the public, he is either hiding something or he is embarrassed to be with you. (Note: This is not the case if you and your husband are merely conservative when it comes to public displays of affection.)
- He keeps his phone or computer use private: Men aren’t fond of allowing their wives to answer their calls or check their social media. If he seems overly protective of his digital history or digital use, this may be an indication that something is off. You may want to consider the signs that indicate he is texting someone else.
- He avoids you: Does it look like he constantly tries to find reasons to be away from you? If your husband is always busy, always traveling, always at the gym, always with his "boys," this may indicate that something isn't quite right.
- He's lost interest: A man having an affair easily loses interest in intimacy with his wife because he has gotten his satisfaction somewhere else. Make sure to look at his body language.
- He's irritable: Is he always grumpy? Is he always finding a reason to disagree with you or complain? It may not be depression—you could be facing some very real relationship problems.
- You're always fighting: If you're always fighting, it's time to get some help. Fighting creates high levels of stress hormones and can wreak havoc on the body—not to mention destroy the home environment.
- He's admitted to an affair: If your spouse has admitted to having an affair and you want to save the marriage, it's important to address what led to it to begin with.
Is it possible for a man to love his wife/girlfriend and still cheat on her?
Know You're Not Alone
If you are wondering about the status of your relationship, know that you are not alone. It takes two for a relationship to thrive or fail. If you are dealing with some serious issues with your spouse, get help. If you or your spouse are subjected to verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, get help immediately.
These 35 signs are not everything. You may wish to add yours in the comments. If you are looking for ways to improve your marriage, you may want to consider advice on how to keep a marriage happy. Remember: Marriage is not supposed to be an experiment or a trial run, so handle it with the seriousness it deserves. Marriage should be a once-and-for-all union.
Video: Sings He Loves You
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Questions & Answers
My husband of nearly 10 years has just told me he doesn’t love me anymore. He said he still finds me very attractive and doesn’t want to hurt me which confuses me and still upsets me. I don’t know whether to give up and let him go hoping his love for me will return or try to make him stay and work things out; or would it push him further away?
I would prefer you to encourage him to stay and work things out. Find out what went wrong. What made him stop loving you? If you are able to find what went wrong then you can make corrections. Marriage is not static. You must continuously do things that will make your togetherness more platonic.
Helpful 59I am in a confused state. I got married to my husband 12 years ago. I have never been happy, I have not been treated properly, and not respected. I am in severe depression. I just can't leave him because I have two kids. There is no sex between us for years, so I am feeling like finding someone who loves me and have an affair. Is it wrong? I have suffered a lot of physical and emotional abuses and can't take anymore. I am crying even right now. Is having an affair wrong?
I am sorry you have had a lot of marital problems. Have you tried to examine your attitudes to find out if they turn your husband off? Something must be wrong. Try to find out what you are doing your husband doesn't like and make corrections. He would have married you because he loves you so find out what has gone wrong. You asked if having affairs is wrong? Yes. It is wrong. Try to rekindle the sparks that used to be in your marriage. I wish you a blissful marriage.
Helpful 44I only have 4 out of the 35 signs that my husband still loves me. What does that say about my relationship?
There is no cause for alarm. As your relationship improves more will be added. You should endeavor to make yourself more lovable.
Helpful 31Why does my husband leave the bedroom?
If your husband leaves the bedroom, it may mean you are performance on bed is below his expectations. Try to show him more affection.
Helpful 22After 34 years of a nearly sexless marriage, my husband was secretive with his cell phone and after a serious conversation, he told me he is attached to men. He says he loves me and does not want a divorce. What should I do?
It all depends on you. If you could tolerate him for 34 years, you may be able to continue if you don't mind his association to men. If you do, you have no option but to seek divorce.
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AUTHORMaria, you should not have married him when you discovered he was living with another woman before your wedding. Even after marrying him, he has not shown any sign of true love for you. You didn't state how long this has been going on, but if this situation has lasted more than a year, you have to discuss the future of your marriage. If he is not ready to change, you might have to end the relationship.
Me and my husband just got married (newlywed) but he doesn't have all this 35 signs. This shocked me when we were preparing our wedding he was cohabiting with a lady ,i just found it out when i went to register the wedding ,a pastor told me everything because the lady came to church to complain that my husband promised to marry her or they can be together after we got married. But before the wedding when i had about this i started having doubts if i can get married or not because i lost trust in him after all he said and promised the lady. To cut the story short after we got married we dont share the same blanket nor eat my food he always tell me that he's not eating , i can give his food to the dogs when i asked him why ,he just say he's already sleeping which makes me to have alot of questions or mayb they are still together with the lady. He is even insulting me that even if i go he doesn't make a difference when if im with him or not ,he doesn't respect my family especially my mother he called her that shes might be a witch, after all this insults i feel like i don't love him anymore because he abuse me mental and emotional so i feel like want to be alone and go back home to avoid all the abuse before early, i consider my happiness first. Im always crying and stress which makes me to have sleepless nights. I want to be happy. Should i leave him?
Boom Boom, period of anger is not the best time to make lasting decisions, so wait till your husband has calm down before you can decipher his true feelings for you.
My husband when we fight he always saying that he don't love me anymore,He wants me to go out for his life Im always crying but he just get annoyed seing me crying is he doesnt love me?
I would like to know more about this thank you
- AUTHOR
Thanks.
These article is best and this is very helpful in my married life thank you for sharing amazing facts .and these or sign matched to my husband. so I. am very very happy
- AUTHOR
Rp thanks for your prayers & encouragement. I am very happy you found my article useful. I wish you a blissful marriage. With what you have written it is possible. Warmest regards.
Thanks anthony modungwo. I was in the middle of distracted mind situation or being paranoid in short (hehehe) when i was searching to some signs of husbands cheating articles but out of nowhere the google suggested amongst the topics of "signs your husband is cheating on you" there was one article suggested that "35 signs that your husband still loves you" and really ring a bell in my head. I know that my husband really loves me, he shows all the signs that mentions here. I watched telenovelas that maybe made me think of something that maybe my husband did wrong and end up that its me who did something wrong by suspecting him but he was the one always says sorry thou, and im not... hehehe... Well i guess all of us sometimes became paranoid when it comes to our relationship to our partners. Maybe All we need is just a simple talk to surpass each problems that we encounter in our lives. Just share, listen and smile to be inspired... thanks again anthony... godbless and more happiness in life
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Thank you anthony modungwo...
Sharing/spreading your love story to all the couples may inspire them to be inlove again to their partners. And by reading or listening a love story make us feel young again and that way it will helps us reminisce what we had before when we first met our partners and may helps us to revive the feelings that fades by time... time is powerful in every couple. It makes fade our physical and emotions. But use it with love so everything in our lives may restore like our first times...
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Rp that is a good advice. I hope couples will adhere to your advice.
Hi! This article may seems true... i feel that my husband still loves me up to now we're 15years. We communicate just like before and intimately inlove just like before. All i can say to all couples that in order to last your relationship just feel young all the time. Dont set aside your smiles and laughters, always feel like when you were young together. Think the small things that made you happy back then and do the the jokes that made you laugh together. Fighting will always there, but dont make fighting may ruin your lives. Use the reason as a lesson for you and your partner to avoid more mistakes. Just be happy to one another, be the strength to each other. If you fight, dont forget to smile after, dont finish your day with a stressful thoughts... everything will be just fine if one of you smiles...
My husband works with a woman , their both youth workers but he's telex her most days and nights he's said work related he don't go out with out only on staff nigh out but when I say to him why do keep texing her he's says that just work related but she had a baby few months ago and out of work for 9 months so is just work related of just on my mind he's never off phone and always checking he's phone graves mad because he's thinks I'm boddered but I'm not I more bride red because he's thinks I am because on there stall night out he's said he's meeting 2 men to have a drink befor meet the staff because one of the boys was leaving but when I was driving home the lady he's work with was there but he'd didn't say she be there early that she going later. Then he's said few days before that I think she going but I was talking to her and she said she had baby sitter for kid and that she was talking to husband on phone and had him told , but my husband was after telling me that she was telling other she work she was going but him she was talking them he's tex her and wished her happy birthday . Then I said I think your frien birthday he's said not sure but told me he Texas her so that 3 lies but think he's saying all that because I'm borred but I'm not and face he's thinks I'm brother end is getting down
- AUTHOR
Natural love is by far better than artificial love achieved by manipulation. Things that are artificial always have a short life span.
my wife decided to cheat on me after all we had gone through together
I sincerely appreciate
Ladyashelyhackworld at g mail for helping me with this
I got her WhatsApp messages in less than an hour
I am so thankful.
Love
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my husband does love me but I don't feel I love him also
Kudos to the author, this article is very accurate. Only thing I wanted to add is that complacency could be why he's not showing these signs. It's very possible that he loves you, although he may be taking you for granted. (Very common)
I'm not sure if links are allowed on here. (Moderators delete if not) but there's an extremely helpful guide by Brad Browning on how to rekindle your marriage. You can find it at: http://www.MendMarriageGuide.com - Marriage takes work but overcoming the rough patches will only make you a stronger couple.
i didnt know everything will work out well with this amazing man he helped me looked into my wifes phone to know if she is truly having an affair with another man he is really the best in town trust me you wont regret you did hackerfrank001 at g mail dot com
Kj i agree... I think my husband just tolerate me now after nearly 6 years... He is finding faults and he constantly tells me he is going to leave me n go Canada to live or i should sign the divorce papers or that i can leave anytime is it normal for husband to ask u to leave and insult and embarrassed u in front of his family n friends... I feel hurt i cry alone behind close doors cause i once cried in front of him n he said i only like cry.. Im not happy bit i cant leave coz i have a 3 yr son... I'll stay forbmy son sake...
I love my husband,but I came from work last week and I caught my husband on pornography and I was devestated and hurt and sad and I felt betrayed, because raised with values of marriage, about staying faithful and loyal and committed to just one person and I am having a hard time of letting this go and forgiveness and I have a hard time with trusting people anyways,but I want marriage to work, so what could i do and could you please help us?
I've tried so hard to believe that he loves me but I feel after only 9months he made a mistake. He tells me all the time he doesnt like my hair or the way I dress and even when asked what spoke you about her to marry her, he said her sassyness. Not my looks, not the way I love but my come backs. We havent had sex or the relationship like other newlyweds. I feel very alone and have talked to him about this and all I get is told I'll try to do better. Better never comes and I hurt. He will never tell me he wants me or is thankful we are married. He refuses and then says things like women who need affirmation are needy. I'm dying to be told I want you or you look good to me. I dont get kissed or made love to why did he marry me ?? Please help me with this
I know my husband loves me because he cleans the cat box every day and the cats are mine.
I can only see a couple of those in the list.. But honestly I think my husband only tolerates me now. We used to talk and he would always bring me flowers and dote on me. But now, he hardly talks to me, let alone have sex. Its like I have a roomate. :(
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Gina, it is not possible he doesn't do any of the things listed here. He may not do all. A man you call your husband must have affection for you, otherwise he will not marry you in the first. He will protect you when necessary because he should be interested in your welfare. He must provide for you according to his financial strength. Do compare his performance with others who may be more financially endowed. Show him love and he will definitely reciprocate. I wish you a blissful married life.
My husband doesn't do ANY of these items listed above. Does this mean we are for sure done???
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Elizabeth, I have said it times without number that I don't approve of any love spell. True love can be developed and does not need any spell. Casting spell on a man or woman is like forcing him/her to do things against his will. Some day the spell will fail and the relationship will collapse. Spell has a short lifespan.
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I mean I cannot respond because I don't understand the language of commend.
- AUTHOR
I can repond because I do not understand the language of the comment.
Well, been married for 32 years, mine other half , has always put others before me , I guess I got use to this , he also has to have his way, at this time it seems to get worse , for now I don't work a job and stay home to watch the gchildren, so when he get home , it all about his day, I never asked anything , just told what I going to do and not going to do, there aways a smart remark about something , I thinking of leaving him, just don't know , what else to do.
I realized that my husband doesn't love me anymore...
- AUTHOR
Freetolive, it is not possible for a man to have all the listed virtues, but when he exhibits majority of them, you can say he loves you. But if he exhibits just one, it may not really be said that he truely care so much for you. You can encourage him to do more by your attitude.
- AUTHOR
Freetolive, it is not possible for a man to have all the listed virtues, but when he exhibits majority of them, you can say he loves you. But if he exhibits just one, it may not really be said that he truely care so much for you. You can encourage him to do more by your attitude.
I have been with my husband 8 years only 1 of the 20 something apply to him but i fill almost every one
- AUTHOR
I don't recommend spill for anyone. Things artificial have short life span. Change your attitude & all wll be well.
- AUTHOR
Trina, you are welcome. There is nothing new about your relationship with your partner. It can be handled. You may need to do some self examination. Read this article and see where you need to make amends. Beat wishes. https://hubpages.com/relationships/Characteristics...
I only wish my husbabd done some of these maybe he might do 1.. now tho i know not sure what I'm suppose to do now...ughh
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Shawna thanks for contacting me and having confidence in me. There is always ups and downs in all relationships. The sincere partners always go through them. Don't lose hope, it will pass away if you keep your side of the bargain. Read this recent article of mine: https://hubpages.com/relationships/Things-You-Shou... Get back to me if you feel all is not going well.
My husband say he's always tired. And will talk my ear off on day then barley talk to me the next. He does a lot of the stuff mentioned above. Hasn't cheated that I know of. We have been together for 6 years and just got married in August last year. But he is always on his phone. He let's me have it and do what I want on it except snoop which is what I have come to now in days. Years ago I never snooped but now I have a nagging feeling all the time that something isn't right or wrong and it pushed me snoop. I get feeling that he can't be trusted. I don't wanna lose my husband how do I make him talk to me again and get him away from his phone. And make this feeling in my stomach stop.
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Lori, thanks for contacting me. If your husband block phone web and texts, something must be wrong. Think of something you must have done to annoy him. If there is then apologize. If not maybe he is undergoing a emotional swing, then you have to give him time to get over it. Read this and see if there is any of them you have done: https://hubpages.com/relationships/19-Things-Women...
My husband blocked phone web and texts. He never answer any questions . I want to know does he want our marriage never answer s me. So it makes me feel like he has plans of something. I feel like he's cheating but I don't know he is on many dating sites before he blocked me. I even asked him to go out and talk things over no response. Before being blocked I wanted to know why everything had to be texted on his computer. No response. It is very childish to act the way he is.Don't know what to do or think.
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Nik L. Thank you for contacting me. I am very sorry I culdn't reply earlier. It was due to circumstances beyond my control. Changes in the behavior of a partner is a common thing. The management of the period this change occur is the difficult thing. Rather than attack or nag your partner do some self-evaluation to see if you have done what brought about this change in behavior. You mentioned an imbroglio with your mother-in-law, the seriousness you did not elaborate. Though, it is not necessary. However, read through this article of mine and see if you can see any area you have gone wrong and make amend before things go out of hand.
https://hubpages.com/relationships/Things-Women-Do... Best wishes.
My husband was everything & more that you have described above... The Perfect Man, in my eyes & everyone around us, it seems. We were always being told, we look like we’re newly weds - 5, 10, 15 & even 17yrs later... BUT now things are very, very different. We have always had my first daughter full-time, my hubby was a great Dad, the best Dad. After 10yrs of marriage I unexpectedly fell pregnant, our beautiful daughter was unexpectedly born with Down syndrome, initially the birth & circumstances sorrounding our daughters birth brought us closer together (if that were possible). Three yrs ago after my mother-in-law caused trouble within our family, by way of continually picking at our eldest daughter after the birth of her first bialogical grandchild, as our eldest daughter was 21yrs of age by then she had stood her ground respectfully & didn’t allow my MIL to pick her confidence to pieces - this situation was foreseeable & had previously been spoken about in private between my husband & I, it was decided we needed to let our daughter stand her ground for herself - respectfully, as her self-esteem & self-confidence had taken a huge hit. Over the past 3yrs our relationship has taken a huge plung. My husband seems to think there is nothing wrong, everyone changes & this is one of those situations. To me this is not just one of those situations. My husband now does suffer with depression (I fully understand this & I am empathetic) although he does very little to nothing around the house, he doesn’t talk about anything, not us, not the kiddies, not his mother, nothing at all actually. Every conversation is seen as hostile if it involves us on any level. He is disrespectful in the way that he speaks to me (this I had NEVER encountered before, he know longer helps with anything that’s asked of him, & if it’s not about him then he makes it about him. We still have a very active sex life, we’re both very happy in this respect.
BROKEN - LOST - CONFUSED... PLEASE HELP
- AUTHOR
Ruth I am sorry this link did not upload properly: https://hubpages.com/relationships/34-Signs-That-Y... So click here to read this hub.
- AUTHOR
Ruth thanks for contacting me. It is my passion to see that all marriages are successful. If you are suspecting that your husband is cheating on you this this article and be sure before taking any action that may destroy your marriage: https //hubpages.com/relationships/34-Signs-That-Your-Husband-is-Cheating. If you have confirmed that he is cheating on you then this is how to get your husband back from the other woman: https://hubpages.com/relationships/Treat-The-Cause... Be patient, don't do anything in a hurry, you could be wrong. I wish you a blissful marriage. Twenty years is not a joke so don't throw it away. Warmest regards.
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Chazna, thanks for contacting me about the development in your marriage. From what you have written, your husband has shown remorse so I advise you to forgive him and give him another chance. Read this:https://hubpages.com/relationships/Ways-To-Rebuild... You can get back to me if situation does not improve. Have a blissful marriage.
Please help me to understand the stress I’m under. I have been married for almost 10 yrs now with with my husband. Next year April is our 10th anniversary and my husband turns 40 yrs same month we planning to celebrate that. I recently found out that he cheated me with someone last year November, he claimed to have stopped the affair and this broke me to pieces emotional. I have been depressed since February 2017, he is been apologizing, admitting his mistakes and asking me to give him a chance to rebuild our marriage. Now what is bothering me is that this so called woman he cheated with phoned my husband after my husband told him it’s over between them. She told my husband of her possible pregnancy which my husband denies that he did not impregnate her because they used condom. My husband has been denying to admit the possibility of this. As we speak now he is busy planning to renew our vows, buy new ring, he resigned from his employer of 18yrs, started new job in September, requested to withdraw his pension fund so we can buy our kids and us a house. He let me mange’s his finances every month since we have been married, I fail to understand why the hurt he has caused me. He has been apologizing since, begging me to accept him with his faults, how do I know he really means all this?
Well, according to this list, I’m a placeholder for his next failed marriage.
- AUTHOR
Kim, thanks for contacting me. It will not very possible for a man to do all that was listed in this hub. That he does many of them show he loves you. No man is perfect.
Ci'mone thanks for contacting me. I am sorry I could not reply earlier due to circumstances beyond my control. I am to hear your health has improved and you are trying to reconcile with your husband. That some of the characteristics listed here is available is encouraging, all don't necessarily be present. No man is perfect. Because you have separated for some time it may take some time to expect full reconciliation. Please be patient, don't give up. That your husband is willing to come back is enough sign that he loves you. If after three months you are still not satisfied with his handling of the situation, contact me. Meanwhile, please read this:https://hubpages.com/relationships/Treat-The-Cause... Best wishes.
Think I'm screwed.
Hi. I have been married for 12 years. My husband and I got married very young and experienced alot of financial strain in the beginning that caused a series of ups and downs which lead to break ups and alot of problems. The last seperation was due to me falling ill and nearly dying! During this time he was totally unaware of what was going on because I had moved back home because of health issues. He was taking care of his sickly father also, so I thought me going back home would take the strain off of him. I love him and I could see his stress level so high! To speed up the story his father passed, while I was unresponsive in ICU on life support. My mom contacted him to let him know I was ill. On the flip side he thought I was cheating because I was not answering my phone for weeks at a time so he had an affair. When he found out I was ill he had been dealing with another woman! So safe to say its 2 years later and we are trying to work our marriage out, but I feel like he is not here 100%. We don't live together and I am standing with my arms wide open, but thete is hesitation on his part. He says he loves me and alot of the signs listed above are there, but some aren't. I want my husband home and for us to be happy together like we can be. WHAT TO DO?
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Sara if you mean that your husband loves you, then that is good news and I am happy to read about it. I wish you a blissful marriage.
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Simanye, thanks for contacting me. Helping partners with problems is my my passion. If the man married you, he must have loved you, so if he doesn't love now, something must have gone wrong somewhere. Check through this article and see if you'll see some of the mistake/s you made and try to make amend. https://hubpages.com/relationships/Things-Women-Do... Having sex is essential in marriage is essential but the atmosphere must be amiable for it to work. Feel free to contact me again if there is is need for it. Wish you a blissful marriage.
Nikita, I don't fully understand your question. But a man who criticizes or ridicule you in the presence of his friends don't love you. However, you should be able to distinguish a joke from serious talk. Speak up if you don't like how you are treated. Best wishes.
What if he is criticising you or calls you immature in front of his female friend always taking her side
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Laylah, I read your comment. You stand a better in a better position to know if he is telling you the truth from past experiences. Has he lied to you in the past? If he has been lying to you in the past, there is possibility he is lying, but if he has told you the truth in the past then you have no reason to doubt him. If you are still suspicious then read this my hub:https://hubpages.com/relationships/34-Signs-That-Y...
Hi! Always when suspecting him cheating, he says he does not do those things. Is it true?
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Joy Hudson, I have read this comment. What is happening between you and your husband is not new. How you handle it will determine the final outcome. Read this hub and try to do those things you can and all will be well again. https://hubpages.com/relationships/Treat-The-Cause... Let me know how it went. Best wishes.
Me and my husband have been married for seven years it well be 8 years in Feb. My husband works for a apartment complex . He use to go to work everyday and love the job .but things have gotten worse over there in the last few months .. and they been having to work,extra hard, . A bout a week and a half ago my husband had meet a young women that was staying with someone over at the apartment complex. That has three children and no dad in the pic well he didn't no her very long about a week or so she asked him if she could use his phone and he let her she add her self to his face book account as a friend then she started asking him for money so she can get her kids something for Easter so he loaned it to her .. then she started message him all the time.. But she,says she just wants to be his friend .. But he got mad at me one night and told me he was trying to get with her .. I told him I have known her a week he told me that he was falling in love with this women he doesn't even know her.. he was trying to hide that he was even talking to her but I have seen the message between them
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Shelly, I have read your comment. It is unfortunate your boyfriend does not support you financially. One thing you need to know is that men don't like women who are dependent. They can tolerate your demand for financial assistance once a while but when it becomes frequent, the relationship will run into muddy waters. Go through this hub, I believe you will be able to gain something from it:https://hubpages.com/relationships/Things-Women-Do...
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Anonymous thanks for reaching me with your problem. I will help you to find out by yourself what have gone wrong. Let us start by checking if you are not the cause of the problem by going through this:https://hubpages.com/relationships/Things-Women-Do... You can win your husband back by doing some of these things in this hub:https://hubpages.com/relationships/7-Ways-to-Win-a... Let me know how it went.Best wishes.
I have a big problem...i feel that my husband is no longer inlove with me. Everytime i ask him how his day at work or even trying to make him open up to you, i feel that i am being ignored. Is this a sign that he is not interested of me anymore? When it comes to being around with family and friends, he opens up but when it comes to me he's not. One time i saw him gazing his eyes and cant stop staring at a family member of mine (a woman) of course and felt like he was into her. I was really hurt inside, i didnt know what to do. Ever since then we have a family get together and that person shows up, i just walk away because i dont want to get hurt inside. Please help of what i need to do.
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Esther, thanks for contacting me with the confidence that I can help you and I will. Read this hub of mine:https://hubpages.com/relationships/7-Ways-to-Win-a... Handle this situation carefully without allowing it to deteriorate further by trying out some of the tips giving above. Give me feedback about the outcome. Best wishes.
My husband gives more attention to his phone when he's home. It hurts me a lot. What do I do please?
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Hush. that for contacting me. I believe the situation is temporary. Just keep showing him love as usual. Something may be bothering him that will go away after some time. Try some of these:
1. Respect him
Men adore women that treat them with respect but this is where a lot of women fall short; they don’t respect their man enough, but they expect to be respected instead. Respect is a key for creating a strong desire and building magnetic attraction. Men have a very strong need for respect, and it’s the core of their self-esteem. Show your man respect by not trying to control everything, since respect is a man’s greatest emotional need, and is what a man most needs to see in a woman for a long-term relationship. When a man feels he isn’t respected, he will become cold, unresponsive, and simply withdraw his love. A man feels valued when he’s respected, and when you make a man who loves you feel this way, he’ll be willing to go the extra mile for you.
2. Make him laugh
Try to be humorous by telling jokes. A man feels good about you when he sees you smiling. He feels good about you when you playfully flirt and are having fun. Laughter relieves tension and also tends to make people feel better instantaneously. Getting a man to laugh regularly is a powerful way to instill in him that you’re a key ingredient in Life’s recipe for happiness.
3. Trust
A simple but powerful way to earn a man’s trust and get him to open up to you is by sharing your deepest fears and secrets with him first; so reveal something about your past that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. For a man to be deeply attracted to you, he needs to feel good about you. By unveiling one of your innermost layers to describe a formative experience or a private thought, however shocking, unpleasant, or unremarkable, you will demonstrate trust. Trust, when reciprocated, breeds closeness. If you can muster the courage to lead the way in establishing mutual trust, you will also lay the groundwork for a strong relationship.
4. Be kind
Be the kind woman who makes her man desire her. When your man desires you and misses your presence whenever you are away, then you’ve won the key to his heart. Let your presence be valuable to him, and try to create a feeling within him that will make him want to be with you always. When you treat him with kindness, he desires you even more because you love him the way he wants to be loved.
hubby cheated on me whilst pregnant with 4th child and after, married 22 years had a good marriage but now I don't trust him at all. The conversation seems forced most of the time don't know what to do? How to save my marriage I have only ever loved him we have 4 beautiful children youngest is 4 months.
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Nky read this and let me know what you feel, https://hubpages.com/relationships/Characteristics... Follow https://hubpages.com/@chuksm for more of my problem solving hubs. Recommend it to your friends and family members for solutions to relationships related problems.
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Nky thanks for contacting me for help. if you want to be counseled on what to do contact me at tonymodus@gmail.com. I have helped some women to identify what they need to do to restore the spark that existed in their marriage. You can do it. Don't be discouraged and don't contemplate divorce yet.
My husband dose just one of these signs, which is to pick his calls. But I know his doesn't love me. He doesn't care about my kids nor my happiness. He only cares about the son he has out of wedlock. He mentioned it to me few years back that if I can't cope, I should file for divorce. What will I do I this situation?
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ezzy, if you want to be counseled on what to do contact me at tonymodus@gmail.com. I have helped some women to identify what they need to do to restore the spark that existed in their marriage. You can do it.
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Hanz, if you still need help you can still write to tonymodus@gmail.com even if you have no donation to make. Best wishes. Anthony Modungwo.
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Lgw, write to me through my email tonymodus@gmail.com. I had replied including some links but the links are not opening here. Best wishes.
Anthony Modungwo.
Well i thought I had been married for almost 6 years. But just found out he's still married to someine else. I love him but I feel sick thinking I've been lied to. But he said he'll get it taken care of. He's away alot due to his job and that makes it even worse. But he dose most if these things. Just right now all this has put a big whole in my heart.
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Hello Hanz! You are welcome. I can help. I have helped many couples to regain the spark in their marriage. This is email I received on the 8th Oct 2016 from a woman with similar problem: Mabusiswe majodina
Oct 8 (13 days ago)
to me
I really need a help with mentorship in as far as my marriAge is concerned. Am a 31 years old woman.we have been married for 2yrs and6 months, but early this year he cheated on me and he confessed.I really dont know what I have done so wrong! Please help!
After I counselled her, she sent this reply:
Mabusiswe majodina
Oct 11 (10 days ago)
to me
Good Morning!
Thank you very much for the links you have send me. They have made me realise my weaknesses as a wife and am Praying that God may change my character, mould and shape me. I really need His guidance.
Be blessed.
I don't charge any fixed amount for my counselling, I only ask for donation from those I help. My mission is to save as many marriages from collapse as I can. You can reach me through: tonymodus@gmail.com for personal discussion that can help. Whatever we discuss is kept secret. Warmest regards.
Anthony Modungwo.
hello.. want to ask if my partner still love me while cheating on me.. we have a 3 kids and
he having an affair for months, we fight often because of the same reason. i even posted his affair on media he got mad he want us to separate but he always make the first move to make up. if i mad and wants us to separate even ask him why he dont leave me alone and get over with him but he gets mad at me but then he do the first move to talk to me. if we fight we dont talk to each other for one day. i always ask him what he really want, where are we, what plans do we have.. i even said to him if he wants his mistress he can live with her, but he answered to me that he won't leave us.
that he loves me more,maybe he was enjoying the company of the girl that's why he cant stop the affair, the girl had child too and always on the go like partying. and why he always get mad to my relatives and friends if they advice me to leave him. and there a times that i talk to him that i planned to leave the house together with the kids but he don't want us to leave i asked him why? he answered because maybe in time we make things right. after that i thought we already split up. but then he make his way to talk to me even cuddle me at sleep. likes nothing happen. i dont know if he doesnt care or he doesnt want to talk about the issue. i dont know to think. advice please...
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Very Loved, thanks for your comment. With God nothing is impossible. I congratulate you and your husband for working out your marriage. It takes commitment.
The truth is God's word is true. A gentle and quiet spirit is the best way to go. I have been married 24 years and my husband treats me like I am his obsession. Four years into our marriage I was frustrated with the status of our marriage and started searching the Scriptures. What I found there did not jibe with modern thought, but I decided to embrace it any way. Let me tell you, it was the best decision I have ever made aside from placing my faith in Jesus Christ as my savior, My husband treasures me like I never imagined. It took time. Trust God and wait. God delivers.
Jessica Ray, it does not means that your husband must do all that has been listed here. So far he does some of them shows he cares and if encouraged by your response he will do more. Endeavor to reciprocate his love for you.
My husband says he loves me but he only does 2-3 of these tings. :(
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Omet thanks for your comment. That you have been able to identify your weakness is a great achievement. The next step is to fix it. Please read this hub ,https://hubpages.com/business/Recognizing-Your-Str... I will like to hear from you after trying to fix this weakness of yours. Warmest regards.
My husband do all these things. But I am the problem. I get upset most of the time lately especially when he opposed my ideas. I love my husband so much but I think I just get so upset easy and always see his fault. Sometimes, I challenge him that we might have little break but he does not want to do it. I know I am so lucky to have this man that always on my side and please me all the time. I am 38 maybe my PMS starts.
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@Kath Dy, I can help you. Reach at tonymodus@gmail.com.
Anyone knows here where can i have a marriage counselling?
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Every guy in the world, thanks for your comment. I agree with you that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, that is why I wrote https://hubpages.com/relationships/99-Tips-That-Ma... Woman should not always be at the receiving end, but must give as well.
First. Replace him with her and you with your husband and reread the entire 27. Does any woman on the planet do any of those things if not somehow all of those for their man? Women seem to not realize that they should treat their man like they would want to be treated. Men are able to resolve emotional problems quicker and with more ease so try to remember you only ever need to say something once, if you don't get the response you want saying it over and over in as many different ways over the course of even freaking years the response probably will never change. You need to realize if we are there we care. We try hard for you in an incredible amount of ways but some how the one or two things that we imperfectly don't somehow read your mind on what you have envisioned are the things that seem to be repeated and obsessived over which drives us further away from your ridiculous 27 ways of fantasy. The day you do all those things for your man you can stay to hope you get them back but maybe you should look at the hundreds of unique ways your man loves you unique to you and your relationship.
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Thank you Sheila. Your comment is very educative. You have proved that women don't need spell casters to have a great relationship with their spouses. All that is needed is the right attitude. God will keep and bless your marriage.
I can honestly say my husband has almost shows me all the above signs. This did not just happen overnight. I have been married for 12 years and with God in my life i truly can say my relationship with my husband has blossomed. We argue yes and this is healthy but we dont stay mad at each other for long.
Men love to be respected and appreciated, and i do this alot and my husband loves me more , Thank you Jesus!
I pray for all you women who dont feel so appreciated, first before complaining about your husband start working on yourself and somehow your husband will see a change in you. Pray over him, love him and trust me a miracle may happen for you.
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@Lisa, I am very serious I could write this reply earlier, I've been very busy. I am happy to read that he is not abusive, but just staying aloft. I believe he must undergoing some emotional situation, he is trying to work out. I hope that if you don't nag him, he is integrate back to the family when he has sorted things out with himself. All you need to do now is to give him your support as much as you can. Read this hub, it might help to let you know that marriage is not a bed of roses and we should not abandon it when the goings become difficult. https://hubpages.com/literature/There-is-Differenc...
Yeah, my husband does absolutely none of these things. I believe in the covenant of marriage but sometimes it's really hard to live with someone who is like this. He's not abusive or anything. He's just not here for me or the kids. He says he doesn't need anyone. He has no friends and has alienated himself from everyone. I'm pretty strong and independent. I have friends and I do things without him but sometimes I would like to have a relationship with my spouse. I'd like to have a partner in life. I don't believe in divorce and don't really want one. It's just frustrating.
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@Victoria, I am sorry that you are not appreciated by your partner. But don't give up. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk about how you feel about how you are treated. I don't mean nagging. He should be encouraged to find work to reduce the stress on. Lets hear from you again.
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lena, he might have said that because he was angry for something you did or said. Bu if he was serious, he would have carried out his threat. There is every possibility he still loves you; that is why you are still living together. That your husband loves you doesn't mean that you'll never disagree, but you'll quickly forgive each other and move ahead.
My husband sometimes he shout at me and tell me one day I will kick you out of my house. So I want to know if he loves me or not
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Thanks Erorantes for your encouragement. I hope you read other hubs.
Thank you for writing a tribute hub for friendship and love. I love your hub; it remains me of how much the other person in my life is giving in the relationship as equal of what I give. You are excellent in what you wrote Mister chucksm.
Some are the same you mentioed but some are not what should I do
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