I'm happily married to a fantastic man that I love deeply and completely.
Dealing with an unhappy husband can be absolutely miserable. After the initial wedding bliss wears off and everything goes back to normal, things can often get tough pretty quickly. Here are 20 ways to keep your husband happy.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of other ways you can make him happy as well; the main thing to understand is that you want to do things for him that he will appreciate and notice. If he notices that you are working hard to make him happy, he will reciprocate those efforts.
20 Ways to Make Your Husband Happy
- Show Him Respect
- Show Interest in His Hobbies
- Have Consistent Sex
- Do Something Unexpected for Him
- Be the Best Version of Yourself
- Let Things Go
- Take Care of Him
- Don't Nag
- Trust Him
- Call Him Out When He Does Something Wrong
- Stop Trying to Change Him
- Send Him Sexy and Flirty Texts
- Be Understanding
- Make a Comfortable Home
- Cook for Him
- Take Care of Yourself
- Tell Him You Love Him
- Lower Your Expectations
- Lighten Up
- If Something's Bad, Try to Make It Better
1. Show Him Respect
Make sure your husband knows that he is your number one, even if you don't feel like he is always respectful to you. Don't degrade him in front of his family or friends. Always be respectful of how he feels about something even if you might not agree.
Make sure that he knows that you respect him, even if you don't say it to his face all of the time. Men want to know that they are respected, and much of their unhappiness and anger comes from feeling like they are being disrespected by someone else.
2. Show Interest in His Hobbies
This doesn't mean you have to be with him every time he plays basketball with his buddies. More so, be aware of the things he likes. If he really likes to hunt, subscribe to a hunting magazine that he likes or buy him a piece of gear that you know he's had his eye on. Being interested does not all ways have to mean being fully involved.
Give him enough space so that can enjoy his hobbies. That does not mean you have to take up the same hobbies as him: if he wants to go rock out on guitar in the garage, let him go ahead and do it.
3. Have Consistent Sex
This may seem like an obvious statement, but very important. I'm not just saying have sex a couple of times a week. Be totally invested in the act as much as possible. Sex is a very important and essential act to men. Show him you love him by loving on him. Get into the act and set your insecurities aside. This is the man you said your vows to and are going to spend the rest of your life with. Explore each other's bodies and have fun. Try to initiate sex some of the time as that will spice things up and make your husband even more excited for some fun in bed.
Of course, if you feel uncomfortable about something, let him know about it. Your husband wants you to be happy and comfortable as well.
4. Do Something Unexpected
Stop by the grocery store or bakery on your way home and pick up his favorite treat. Book a weekend away together. Give him a massage when he gets home. It's not always the job of a man to do these kinds of things. As a dedicated wife, you must surprise your husband and remind him of the fun woman he fell in love with. Believe me; he will appreciate the gesture and be thrilled that you did something so thoughtful.
5. Be Yourself
Be the woman he knows sitting at home on the couch. This doesn't mean you need to belch in public or walk around in your sweatpants all the time. This just means you don't have to put up a front for the ladies in your child's class or act snotty in front of his friends. You are who he fell in love with, so you should never feel like you have to be someone else. Be respectful and courteous when you are both in public, but don't try to hide who you are. Having that strong sense of self and high levels of self-confidence are what made him attracted to you in the first place.
6. Let Things Go
If there is something that your husband did in the past that really upset you, yet you have said you have forgiven him for, just let it go. Whether it's the anniversary he forgot, or heaven forbid the woman he slept with while you two were dating. If you have said you have forgiven him, stop bringing it up. It may be an easy way to push his buttons in an unrelated argument, but know it is detrimental to any relationship to hold on to things that are meant to stay in the past.
This same approach should be applied to the other things he does that may bother you from time to time. Don't get hung up about things, and if he does something that you really dislike, just let him know. Holding on to little things and petty grudges is not a good idea for you or your husband. Many of the little annoyances you may have you will forget about in a few weeks anyway, so it is not worth it to get upset over them.
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7. Take Care of Him
When your husband is feeling under the weather, take care of him. Don't make fun of him because he's acting like a baby. Most likely, he is acting like a baby, but let him know you are there for him. Make him his favorite meal, go to the store to get medicine, and let him watch his favorite TV show. In the same respect, if he is just having a crappy day, give him his space and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.
Men want to feel loved and needed, so let him know how much you care about him, it will make a big difference.
8. Don't Nag
This is probably one of the most obvious statement, but often the hardest to do. If there is something your husband does that drives you crazy, let him know, in a calm matter of fact way. Don't constantly be on his case for something. Especially something he can't immediately change. Nagging causes annoyance. Annoyance eventually causes resentment. Let him know why his actions are making you upset and annoying you. Being clear about what kind of behavior bothers you will help him be more accommodating and conscientious.
9. Trust Him
Unless your husband has given your real reason to not trust him, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Most likely you have been cheated on or hurt in a past relationship, but don't let that baggage follow you into your marriage. Don't snoop in his phone, check his email, or spy on him when he's out with his friends. Let him know that you trust him and he will do all that he can to ensure he does not break your trust.
"Don't let him walk all over you. Be the strong, independent woman he fell in love with. Don't bend over to anything he says just to make it easier for his ego. Men like it when you call them out in a respectful manner."
10. Call Him Out
Yep, you heard me right, call him out when he is wrong. Don't let him walk all over you. Be the strong, independent woman he fell in love with. Don't bend over to anything he says just to make it easier for his ego. Men like it when you call them out in a respectful manner. Explain to him what he has done wrong and try to not make it personal and tear him down.
Let him know that your criticism is coming from a place of love and concern. Many men do not even realize when they have done something wrong, so making him more aware of his mistakes will, in turn, make him into a better person as well.
11. Stop Trying to Change Him
Don't try to change your guy into someone, that he obviously is not. Unless, it is something that is causing him harm (alcoholism, smoking, drugs, etc.), there is no reason to change. If you married him for who he is, let him stay who he is.
You can challenge him to be the best version of himself but thinking that you can just erase part of his personality if you nag him enough is crazy. Let him be himself fully and completely because it is that version that you fell in love with in the first place. Trying to change his base nature is a mistake and leads to even more conflicts.
12. Send Him Sexy and Flirty Texts
Let him know you're thinking about him. Not every day, but maybe once a week or so send him a cute text letting him know what you want to do with him when he gets home. Get flirty and cute with him, just like it was when the two of you first started dating. He will enjoy the gesture, particularly if it is during the middle of the workday when he is feeling down and bored. Adding that kind of excitement and spontaneity back into your lives is a great way to keep things interesting.
13. Be Understanding
If something comes up with his work schedule and he has to stay for a late meeting, don't freak. Yeah, sure, he missed dinner (again), but at least he is calling and letting you know. From time to time, things will come up where you will be disappointed. Don't overreact, take a deep breathe and understand. Try to not take things personally, as your husband is already stressed out enough from those types of situations.
14. Make a Comfortable Home
Depending on if you're a stay-at-home mom or work yourself is all relative. If you stay home with the kids during the day, make sure your home is inviting when your husband is almost home. Pick up the little things. Of course, it can't always be perfect, but try to make home as relaxing as possible. Don't pass the kids off immediately when he walks in the door. Let him unwind. If you work as well, share responsibilities when you get home, or do the things you know he dreads the most.
If you do not work at home, then take some time on the weekend to tidy things up. You can go in and rearrange things and get rid of clutter. Even something as simple as this will have a big impact on your husband's mood. He will be happy that you took the time to make the home a more inviting place.
15. Cook for Him
Obviously, we can't all be Suzy homemaker. Especially if we have a career of our own. But, take the time to cook for him from time to time. If you aren't a great cook, learn a few of his favorite dishes and try to perfect them. Use the endless food blogs and even Pinterest to find some new creations that can be simple and fast. Making an effort will show that you care about him and his tummy.
Good food goes a long way to bringing people together, and making a great meal for your husband is a great way for you to show him how much you love him. Plus, you get to enjoy a good meal as well!
"Just as we like to be told we are loved and cuddled, men like to be reassured with the same. Make sure he knows how much he means to you. Men want to feel loved and wanted, even if they don't always show it."
16. Take Care of Yourself
We can't all have flat stomachs and perfectly applied makeup at all times. But, you can do simple things for him (and yourself) to show him your beauty. Sometimes marriages can put us in a rut, and we no longer think it's necessary to look nice for our spouse. Brush your teeth, take a shower, and leave the ratty sweatpants in the drawer. Do yoga when you can, wear your favorite little sundress, and flaunt what you have! Your husband will likely return the favor and make himself look amazing!
Men are intoxicated by feminine beauty, so looking good for him will make him appreciate you even more than he already does.
17. Tell Him You Love Him
Sometimes, as a woman, we can forget how vulnerable our man is. Make sure you tell him you love him, often. Just as we like to be told we are loved and cuddled, men like to be reassured with the same. Make sure he knows how much he means to you. Men want to feel loved and wanted, even if they don't always show it. Reminding him of how much he means to you is a heartfelt gesture that will make him feel wanted and loved.
18. Lower Your Expectations
Life is not a romantic comedy. Men do not always have the suavest things to say. Don't expect every day to be a fairytale. Your man is going to mess up, and he's going to mess up a lot. Don't always expect after every fight a long letter of apology or a dozen roses.
Sure, it would be nice every once in a while, but realize that men are wired differently than us. What we are thinking in our head that he should do is almost always not what he is going to do. Realize that all those romantic movies are most likely written by women. Don't let your expectations exceed your reality because you've been watching too many romantic comedies and reading too many books.
19. Lighten Up
Remember when you and your husband first starting dating? You were the carefree woman who laughed and flirted? Life's stress can really take a toll on a relationship, and sometimes we forget to laugh. Flirt with your husband. Tell stupid jokes. Reminisce about funny things that happened. Life can't always be fun and games, but let it be sometimes. Keep the humor going between the two of you and keep things funny and fun.
20. If Something's Bad, Try to Make It Better
Inevitably, there will be bumpy times in your relationship. If it has come to a point that you're not sure where to turn, try your hardest to make things right. This doesn't mean endlessly talk about what you should be doing, do it! Schedule the counseling session. If you truly love your husband and want to make things right, don't always expect him to make the first step.
Don't just expect things to get better without work: if there are issues with your relationship, try to sort them out. Holding on to hate and negativity never solves the issue, and it only makes things worse.
How to Impress Your Husband
Here are four things you can do that will impress your husband. He will be thrilled that you took the time to plan and surprise him.
- Get Him a Gift: Go out and get him a thoughtful gift and surprise him with it after he comes home from work. He will appreciate the gesture and the thoughtfulness you put into getting the gift. If you have not already done so, getting him a framed photograph of the two of you makes for a great gift and one that he will appreciate.
- Make His Favorite Meal: Surprise him with his favorite meal, or if you are not the cooking type, take him to his favorite restaurant. The key here is to drop little hints and build his anticipation. That way his excitement will be high when you surprise him. Having his favorite food with his favorite person will make him happy, and he will be impressed at the thought and detail you put into it.
- Plan a Trip: Depending on how big you want to go, a simple weekend getaway somewhere you can drive to can work. You can pick a secluded spot to go camping or go wine tasting, something to give you two a break from the monotony of everyday life.
- Take Him Out on a Fancy Date: Plan a date night just like the old days when you two were first getting to know each other. It doesn't just have to be dinner either; you can plan a fun activity, such as going to a concert or a stand-up comedy show.
Of course, these things won't always create a perfect marriage. Do the things you know makes your husband happy—and enjoy the ride that is marriage!
What do you do that makes your husband happy? Men, what do you wish your wife would do?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2013 Whitney