I'm happily married to a fantastic man that I love deeply and completely.
Dealing with an unhappy husband can be absolutely miserable. After the initial wedding bliss wears off and everything goes back to normal, things can often get tough pretty quickly. Here are 20 ways to keep your husband happy.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of other ways you can make him happy as well; the main thing to understand is that you want to do things for him that he will appreciate and notice. If he notices that you are working hard to make him happy, he will reciprocate those efforts.
20 Ways to Make Your Husband Happy
- Show Him Respect
- Show Interest in His Hobbies
- Have Consistent Sex
- Do Something Unexpected for Him
- Be the Best Version of Yourself
- Let Things Go
- Take Care of Him
- Don't Nag
- Trust Him
- Call Him Out When He Does Something Wrong
- Stop Trying to Change Him
- Send Him Sexy and Flirty Texts
- Be Understanding
- Make a Comfortable Home
- Cook for Him
- Take Care of Yourself
- Tell Him You Love Him
- Lower Your Expectations
- Lighten Up
- If Something's Bad, Try to Make It Better
1. Show Him Respect
Make sure your husband knows that he is your number one, even if you don't feel like he is always respectful to you. Don't degrade him in front of his family or friends. Always be respectful of how he feels about something even if you might not agree.
Make sure that he knows that you respect him, even if you don't say it to his face all of the time. Men want to know that they are respected, and much of their unhappiness and anger comes from feeling like they are being disrespected by someone else.
2. Show Interest in His Hobbies
This doesn't mean you have to be with him every time he plays basketball with his buddies. More so, be aware of the things he likes. If he really likes to hunt, subscribe to a hunting magazine that he likes or buy him a piece of gear that you know he's had his eye on. Being interested does not all ways have to mean being fully involved.
Give him enough space so that can enjoy his hobbies. That does not mean you have to take up the same hobbies as him: if he wants to go rock out on guitar in the garage, let him go ahead and do it.
3. Have Consistent Sex
This may seem like an obvious statement, but very important. I'm not just saying have sex a couple of times a week. Be totally invested in the act as much as possible. Sex is a very important and essential act to men. Show him you love him by loving on him. Get into the act and set your insecurities aside. This is the man you said your vows to and are going to spend the rest of your life with. Explore each other's bodies and have fun. Try to initiate sex some of the time as that will spice things up and make your husband even more excited for some fun in bed.
Of course, if you feel uncomfortable about something, let him know about it. Your husband wants you to be happy and comfortable as well.
4. Do Something Unexpected
Stop by the grocery store or bakery on your way home and pick up his favorite treat. Book a weekend away together. Give him a massage when he gets home. It's not always the job of a man to do these kinds of things. As a dedicated wife, you must surprise your husband and remind him of the fun woman he fell in love with. Believe me; he will appreciate the gesture and be thrilled that you did something so thoughtful.
5. Be Yourself
Be the woman he knows sitting at home on the couch. This doesn't mean you need to belch in public or walk around in your sweatpants all the time. This just means you don't have to put up a front for the ladies in your child's class or act snotty in front of his friends. You are who he fell in love with, so you should never feel like you have to be someone else. Be respectful and courteous when you are both in public, but don't try to hide who you are. Having that strong sense of self and high levels of self-confidence are what made him attracted to you in the first place.
6. Let Things Go
If there is something that your husband did in the past that really upset you, yet you have said you have forgiven him for, just let it go. Whether it's the anniversary he forgot, or heaven forbid the woman he slept with while you two were dating. If you have said you have forgiven him, stop bringing it up. It may be an easy way to push his buttons in an unrelated argument, but know it is detrimental to any relationship to hold on to things that are meant to stay in the past.
This same approach should be applied to the other things he does that may bother you from time to time. Don't get hung up about things, and if he does something that you really dislike, just let him know. Holding on to little things and petty grudges is not a good idea for you or your husband. Many of the little annoyances you may have you will forget about in a few weeks anyway, so it is not worth it to get upset over them.
7. Take Care of Him
When your husband is feeling under the weather, take care of him. Don't make fun of him because he's acting like a baby. Most likely, he is acting like a baby, but let him know you are there for him. Make him his favorite meal, go to the store to get medicine, and let him watch his favorite TV show. In the same respect, if he is just having a crappy day, give him his space and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.
Men want to feel loved and needed, so let him know how much you care about him, it will make a big difference.
8. Don't Nag
This is probably one of the most obvious statement, but often the hardest to do. If there is something your husband does that drives you crazy, let him know, in a calm matter of fact way. Don't constantly be on his case for something. Especially something he can't immediately change. Nagging causes annoyance. Annoyance eventually causes resentment. Let him know why his actions are making you upset and annoying you. Being clear about what kind of behavior bothers you will help him be more accommodating and conscientious.
9. Trust Him
Unless your husband has given your real reason to not trust him, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Most likely you have been cheated on or hurt in a past relationship, but don't let that baggage follow you into your marriage. Don't snoop in his phone, check his email, or spy on him when he's out with his friends. Let him know that you trust him and he will do all that he can to ensure he does not break your trust.
10. Call Him Out
Yep, you heard me right, call him out when he is wrong. Don't let him walk all over you. Be the strong, independent woman he fell in love with. Don't bend over to anything he says just to make it easier for his ego. Men like it when you call them out in a respectful manner. Explain to him what he has done wrong and try to not make it personal and tear him down.
Let him know that your criticism is coming from a place of love and concern. Many men do not even realize when they have done something wrong, so making him more aware of his mistakes will, in turn, make him into a better person as well.
11. Stop Trying to Change Him
Don't try to change your guy into someone, that he obviously is not. Unless, it is something that is causing him harm (alcoholism, smoking, drugs, etc.), there is no reason to change. If you married him for who he is, let him stay who he is.
You can challenge him to be the best version of himself but thinking that you can just erase part of his personality if you nag him enough is crazy. Let him be himself fully and completely because it is that version that you fell in love with in the first place. Trying to change his base nature is a mistake and leads to even more conflicts.
12. Send Him Sexy and Flirty Texts
Let him know you're thinking about him. Not every day, but maybe once a week or so send him a cute text letting him know what you want to do with him when he gets home. Get flirty and cute with him, just like it was when the two of you first started dating. He will enjoy the gesture, particularly if it is during the middle of the workday when he is feeling down and bored. Adding that kind of excitement and spontaneity back into your lives is a great way to keep things interesting.
13. Be Understanding
If something comes up with his work schedule and he has to stay for a late meeting, don't freak. Yeah, sure, he missed dinner (again), but at least he is calling and letting you know. From time to time, things will come up where you will be disappointed. Don't overreact, take a deep breathe and understand. Try to not take things personally, as your husband is already stressed out enough from those types of situations.
14. Make a Comfortable Home
Depending on if you're a stay-at-home mom or work yourself is all relative. If you stay home with the kids during the day, make sure your home is inviting when your husband is almost home. Pick up the little things. Of course, it can't always be perfect, but try to make home as relaxing as possible. Don't pass the kids off immediately when he walks in the door. Let him unwind. If you work as well, share responsibilities when you get home, or do the things you know he dreads the most.
If you do not work at home, then take some time on the weekend to tidy things up. You can go in and rearrange things and get rid of clutter. Even something as simple as this will have a big impact on your husband's mood. He will be happy that you took the time to make the home a more inviting place.
15. Cook for Him
Obviously, we can't all be Suzy homemaker. Especially if we have a career of our own. But, take the time to cook for him from time to time. If you aren't a great cook, learn a few of his favorite dishes and try to perfect them. Use the endless food blogs and even Pinterest to find some new creations that can be simple and fast. Making an effort will show that you care about him and his tummy.
Good food goes a long way to bringing people together, and making a great meal for your husband is a great way for you to show him how much you love him. Plus, you get to enjoy a good meal as well!
16. Take Care of Yourself
We can't all have flat stomachs and perfectly applied makeup at all times. But, you can do simple things for him (and yourself) to show him your beauty. Sometimes marriages can put us in a rut, and we no longer think it's necessary to look nice for our spouse. Brush your teeth, take a shower, and leave the ratty sweatpants in the drawer. Do yoga when you can, wear your favorite little sundress, and flaunt what you have! Your husband will likely return the favor and make himself look amazing!
Men are intoxicated by feminine beauty, so looking good for him will make him appreciate you even more than he already does.
17. Tell Him You Love Him
Sometimes, as a woman, we can forget how vulnerable our man is. Make sure you tell him you love him, often. Just as we like to be told we are loved and cuddled, men like to be reassured with the same. Make sure he knows how much he means to you. Men want to feel loved and wanted, even if they don't always show it. Reminding him of how much he means to you is a heartfelt gesture that will make him feel wanted and loved.
18. Lower Your Expectations
Life is not a romantic comedy. Men do not always have the suavest things to say. Don't expect every day to be a fairytale. Your man is going to mess up, and he's going to mess up a lot. Don't always expect after every fight a long letter of apology or a dozen roses.
Sure, it would be nice every once in a while, but realize that men are wired differently than us. What we are thinking in our head that he should do is almost always not what he is going to do. Realize that all those romantic movies are most likely written by women. Don't let your expectations exceed your reality because you've been watching too many romantic comedies and reading too many books.
19. Lighten Up
Remember when you and your husband first starting dating? You were the carefree woman who laughed and flirted? Life's stress can really take a toll on a relationship, and sometimes we forget to laugh. Flirt with your husband. Tell stupid jokes. Reminisce about funny things that happened. Life can't always be fun and games, but let it be sometimes. Keep the humor going between the two of you and keep things funny and fun.
20. If Something's Bad, Try to Make It Better
Inevitably, there will be bumpy times in your relationship. If it has come to a point that you're not sure where to turn, try your hardest to make things right. This doesn't mean endlessly talk about what you should be doing, do it! Schedule the counseling session. If you truly love your husband and want to make things right, don't always expect him to make the first step.
Don't just expect things to get better without work: if there are issues with your relationship, try to sort them out. Holding on to hate and negativity never solves the issue, and it only makes things worse.
How to Impress Your Husband
Here are four things you can do that will impress your husband. He will be thrilled that you took the time to plan and surprise him.
- Get Him a Gift: Go out and get him a thoughtful gift and surprise him with it after he comes home from work. He will appreciate the gesture and the thoughtfulness you put into getting the gift. If you have not already done so, getting him a framed photograph of the two of you makes for a great gift and one that he will appreciate.
- Make His Favorite Meal: Surprise him with his favorite meal, or if you are not the cooking type, take him to his favorite restaurant. The key here is to drop little hints and build his anticipation. That way his excitement will be high when you surprise him. Having his favorite food with his favorite person will make him happy, and he will be impressed at the thought and detail you put into it.
- Plan a Trip: Depending on how big you want to go, a simple weekend getaway somewhere you can drive to can work. You can pick a secluded spot to go camping or go wine tasting, something to give you two a break from the monotony of everyday life.
- Take Him Out on a Fancy Date: Plan a date night just like the old days when you two were first getting to know each other. It doesn't just have to be dinner either; you can plan a fun activity, such as going to a concert or a stand-up comedy show.
Of course, these things won't always create a perfect marriage. Do the things you know makes your husband happy—and enjoy the ride that is marriage!
What do you do that makes your husband happy? Men, what do you wish your wife would do?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2013 Whitney
Abdillahi deheye on August 27, 2020:
Greay thank you
Shaziya on July 23, 2020:
I try all this works well but we both have a bad temper
Shanty on July 07, 2020:
Thanks for all the advice, a I have been doing almost the opposite of everything I have read. I have learn a lot today. I am now going to make my marriage a better place for my hubby. Thank you.
Reader on June 18, 2020:
Men are hunters, keep the chase interesting and change the path at times.
Mandeep on June 17, 2020:
Same story dear. Try be happy. And do what you want do. Love your life.Elizabeth .
Torporonsight on June 12, 2020:
Ignore #10. No man wants to be with a woman that tries to be the Alpha in the relationship, if you really are an independent strong woman then you shouldn't have the need to please your man, aka you wouldn't be reading this article ;)
Anon on April 24, 2020:
I feel very relieved. Marriage is not easy.
Faith on April 13, 2020:
How do one deal with ...doing all this yet go UN noticed?
Saba on April 11, 2020:
Thanks for deeply explain me
Hahacara on December 21, 2019:
Cara you must be very lonely and bitter.
Yemight damilola on October 31, 2019:
love my husband so much, i love him than myself, if I don't see my husband in a day or hear his voice I will not get myself, his love as turn me to something else, I can fall seek if I don't see my husband in a day, an we are not living together because of his job, I told him that i should come an stay with him he as not accept, an his also cheating on me, my husband don't trust me, there's nothing I do good on his face, av tried all my possible best to show him he much i love him but still no, I don't know what to do, am dying silently please help me?
Emmanuel Mensah on October 16, 2019:
Thank you guys for posting this here now i am going to tell my wife read this it herself.
Cara on October 03, 2019:
I really thought this was written by a man I don't believe that it is anyone else's responsibility for your happiness I have been a very happy very committed relationship for 30 years. My only responsibility is to make myself happy, men are not children.
Anonymous on July 29, 2019:
Ladies...is it ok to be friends with your children's father and give him address to your new home (you and youre HUSBANDS HOME)without informing youre husband ?Is it ok to leave youre husband to go out of town with your ex and his family ..especially when youre husband has a sports event ?Should you support youre husband or go with your ex and his family ?
Diana abugbilla on July 04, 2019:
i always try let him know that am not always happy of the things that he does to me but he don't always want to understand me and final he will be unhappy with me. how will i do?
Rp on July 02, 2019:
Men needs someone that will take care and love them. I guess nothing is complicated when it comes to their needs. They are just like babies. Give them anything that may brighten up their days will surely made them happy and If they are happy they will surely makes us happy also... Thats give and take❤️❤️❤️
AshWitcombe on May 05, 2019:
"Life is not a romantic comedy. Men do not always have the suavest things to say. Don't expect every day to be a fairytale. Your man is going to mess up, and he's going to mess up a lot. Don't always expect after every fight a long letter of apology or a dozen roses."
This is so true. I think social media is partly to blame because people only post their highlights. It makes it seem like everybody is living a romantic comedy but in reality they're not.
Elizabeth on April 30, 2019:
I've tried all these things but am left miserable myself...
I show him respect, he shows me none besides for being a good mother to our daughter..
I've shown interest in his hobbies, which he then becomes annoyed and uninterested in as soon as I show interest..
He has a very low sex drive and doesn't want it most of the time, he'd rather play video games...
I've tried unexpected things for him, he doesn't like spontaneous things..
I try to be the best version of myself but it makes me miserable and a total downer to feel alone/unloved, which causes me to slip into depression...
I let things go all the time, he doesn't then brings things up in arguments and me letting things go just leaves a lot of unresolved conflict...
I take care of him a LOT, so much that he barely survives when I'm not around, doesn't eat properly etc.
I don't nag, it would only cause aruments..
I trust him as much as I can, though deep down I barely trust him at all, he's broken every promise he's ever made...
In the past I called him out when he did something wrong and all it did was cause him to become angry and resentful of me, so I don't bother anymore...
I stopped trying to change him the second I realised I was trying to, as the last thing I'd want is for him to not be happy as himself..
He doesn't like sexy and flirty texts, again, low sex drive...
I try to be understanding as I can muster, but he is almost impossible to understand...
We have a comfortable home to him, I don't find it comfortable, but he likes it so I get shunned for mentioning anything slightly hinting towards not liking it...
I cook for him almost every day...
Any time I take care of myself enough to feel looked after, he complains that I'm being selfish..
I tell him I love him about 10 times a day or more...
I lost any expectations of him a long time ago, now I'm just left with the hope that I didn't make a huge mistake being with him...
I used to be the most joyful and playful person around, due to this relationship I am now just depressed, anxious, angry and miserable almost all the time, my friends and family have told me many times that I've not been the same happy girl they once knew...
If something's bad, I always try to make it better, with 0 results, no matter what I do or don't do...
Is this a doomed relationship or has anyone got some better advice??
Priscilla Agyemang from Ghana on April 30, 2019:
I sure applying it in my marriage ...
Important gist all said ....love it
Poppy from Enoshima, Japan on March 27, 2019:
There is some wonderful advice here. I feel inspired to book a weekend away somewhere as a surprise and make more of a fuss of him. It’s hard not to nag or try to change the bad habits.
Jenny Nguyen on March 25, 2019:
These ways are useful for our marriage. Thank you so much. Love it.
Fatumah Rahimu on March 22, 2019:
I like this rules
Kat on March 14, 2019:
Great Advice! Love it.... now to practice it!
Mohammed Billa on March 09, 2019:
I love it, I Like it, I use it.
Khomotso on March 09, 2019:
I need to download this
ji on February 17, 2019:
Yasmin on February 13, 2019:
I love it
Elijah kim on January 31, 2019:
I like it.
Benedict on January 17, 2019:
I really love these points
Mariama Adamu on January 14, 2019:
I love it
©™ Queen™© on November 15, 2018:
Dear faiza on October 31, 2018:
This message meant for faiza. Don't be afraid of the future dear... speak to him openly... and tell him how much you love him and there is nothing which can replace him in your life. Tell him without him you will not be there. and the very important thing is, when you speak to him don't be harsh and don't tend to question him(why are you doing so...etc). speak to him like you already understood the situation. And show the affection like he is your son. Make him understand that you will be there for him in every aspect of life..... ........don't cry in front of him suddenly..let him understand you need him. After that if you need to cry you can::)).I mean control your emotions a while please.
And in case of using drugs, make him engaged in other things like family get together, outing with kids etc. Don't always think of his bad habit. When he is not using any drugs act like everything is going ok. And force him to go out with you and your kids. Make use of kids. If they force, and you support he will definitely spend time with you and slowly slowly he could get out of drugs. Relax and pray to God he will stay with you.
With love. Faizy rajeeb.
Shammil Mueni on October 22, 2018:
I Do All Thing That My Husband Can Be Happy But He Don't Trust Me And He Still Doubt Me
Faiza on September 18, 2018:
Hi i dont really know what to say but im in a problem where i have being married for the past 5 years and got 2 baby boys . My hubby at first was happy and things and all of a sudden things changed and from the begining of 2018 my hubby started taking drugs i mean have drugs coz each time he gets paid he resorts to drugs and when i confront him he doesnt give me answers but instead he blames me for everything , tells me that i got someone else etc. And this really hurts me alot because i love my hubby only and no one else ill do anything for my hubby but by the way my hubby talks to me , it really really hurts me . Can anyone i mean anyone help me ? Coz i dont want to lose my hubby his the father of my kids n we love him alot
Elizabeth AE on August 31, 2018:
Worth Said the above words/Sentences .... its rally Helpful,
keep on updating more be will beneficial for Others.
J Madit Wai on June 30, 2018:
these are wonderful tips. i have seen any of them from my rib(wife) to me.
Kelly on June 27, 2018:
What if your doing all the above and more like telling him if he dont want to work then don't stay home I'll work two jobs if needed. He does that for few months then complains about being home all the time so he gets a job then complains about working. I cook dinner and always serve him first no matter if he has a job and works or if hes sat around playing xbox for months. My kids are all teens one is a new mom. They arent his. We have no children together. He says he hates my kids and talks about how my daughter is stupid fot having a baby at 17 maybe not wise choice on her part but shes not stupid. He complains about them not doing what there told around the house but he dont do anything either. I am constantly complimenting him on how handsome he is how smart and wonder he is no matter how down he is on himself. I am constantly rubbing his arms neck back legs with just my fingertips cause thats his favorite thing. I do sexual things ive never done before cause he likes them. He tells me im the best wife ever best hes never loved anyone like me that he never wants to lose me but yet hes always saying i cant do this i hate my life im tired of this and that.... i give up!
Karen Marcial on May 17, 2018:
Few Month ago I found out that my husband is cheating on me with other girl he meet tru online dating and he full in love with her they only talk and text on the phone seen each other one or twice only and his telling me that his heart is no longer there what should I do to win his heart back
Tia on May 15, 2018:
I love my husband...last year I cheated him.. now he knows all truth ... I realy feeling bad for my past.. n forget all..i love him only.. but now he don't trust me... What can I do....
AU on April 29, 2018:
my husband really love me before 1year and then he didn't respond me for everything i always try my best to happy my huaband but he can't understand me he always said me i was lie to him but it is not truth its just understanding am really upset and worry for that i really love him i leave every thing for him and he also i have no more option to correct my relation plz tell me what shall i do
Jaibo on April 08, 2018:
l like it
Kandy on December 18, 2017:
This is a spot on article.
In some of the comments, women have been very negative. The article states men are wired deferantly. When a man does something good, thank him, tell him IN SIMPLE WORDS, with a smile, how much you appreciate or love whatever he did. IE... When he does take a shower, hug him up look him in the eyes and tell him how good he smells, how you love when he's smelling all fresh and clean. If you tell a man what pleases you, he will do it again!
Ask him if he "WOULD" (Don't use the word will) help you do something. IE... Baby, I'm so tired after work, would you help me clean up the kitchen? When he does, praise him for it. ( in simple words with a big smile ) Thanks for helping me in the kitchen. I really appreciate you!
Men want to take care of their wifes!!! If you are always telling him he bad, he will resent you. IE... You never help me clean the kitchen. Now you have blamed him for doing wrong and in his simple mind, he didn't even know you wanted help, so he feels resentful.
Pallavi pranav on November 24, 2017:
My husband loves me but he don't know how to express because of that I always get upset what shall I do for that
esyearning on November 16, 2017:
Hello everyone, I find this article really usefull and most of the tips here should be added in our day to day practices.
A happy married life is a blessing. I came accross a good ste on the same topic sharing it here as I think might be helpfull for you all: http://www.howtomakehusbandhappy.com/
Rebbica on June 10, 2017:
marneen on June 01, 2017:
how to get hubby
to take a shower and change ??
namubiru jaria on March 10, 2017:
thank's but don't stop to give us tips
charlotte. on January 21, 2017:
Thank you for your advice. I will practice from today.
Pria Chowdhury on December 26, 2016:
I Love my Husband and He also loves me...but we don't understand each other..... why it happens..????..
sitti on December 15, 2016:
Thanks for this!
Kaiziea on September 26, 2016:
Right, My husband is very stubborn and hates doctors or anything. So everything's a challenge but I always tend to keep the house tidy even when we are both working. And I always cook because he can't cook lol. But he was the one I married, and I intend on keeping him for the rest of my life. So ladies, don't be afraid of anything because that stopped us in the beginning because I felt ugly to him but you have to learn to let things go in marriage.
PMARTIN on August 19, 2014:
"Wife" and "independent woman " seems to be a contradiction BUT..anyway, one point is good to remember(just my opinion) is that if you're too proud (stephanie) or lazy to do these things, there is a woman somewhere watching and waiting. She do these things for him. She is at his job, church golf resort, gym. she's your best friend or even your relative. I think women have an instinctive way to tell that a man isn't being taken care of at home. Get rid of pride and take care of your man.
CrisSp from Sky Is The Limit Adventure on August 05, 2013:
Good, useful hub.
We abide by the old cliché, "when something's is broken fix it, don't just throw it." --happy to share that this summer, we celebrated our 25th year. How amazing! I never thought we've come this far but then again, we both see ourselves growing old together.
My hubby calls me from work at least once a day just to say, sweet nothings mixed with sarcasm and humour at times. If he doesn't get me, he'll leave a message. If before the end of the day, I don't hear from him, I'd call him to remind him that he forgot to call his beautiful wife. Lol! And, this is part of our everyday lives.
I guess, bottom line is give and take.
Stephanie on August 02, 2013:
What ever happened to a mutual relationship? I should be able to expect these same things in return. I wonder why I should do these things when I do not get them myself?
iguidenetwork from Austin, TX on June 12, 2013:
I do and say pretty much a number of the same things to my wife as well. Voted up and useful.
Amanda Jones on June 07, 2013:
Great tips! I believe these advice to a lot of married couples! Voted up and useful.