Why should I respond the way the guy finds right? Even after the breakup, does his opinion matter? Why should I resist what I feel just to make him feel good? If he doesn't feel guilty for what he did, there is no point in pleasing him. The fact is it hurts and it hurts like hell.


I can answer your question.

One doesn't respond positively to please their partner. Also, one doesn't respond positively to do what their partner wants. Your response to the breakup is not dependent on your partner but on you.

Somehow, his opinion or analysis of your response to the breakup will matter to him. He will be taken aback. He didn't anticipate you will act in such a manner.

The fact is when you respond positively, you're in control of your emotions and is a testament that even though you're hurt, you'll get back on your feet. You will heal and recover from the breakup and move on. It will show him that you won't beg or plead. You won't act as if he is the only one who means the world to you.

At the same time, you'll boost your self-esteem and avoid negative emotions (such as anger and hatred) from dictating or influencing your thinking or actions. You'll allow the healing process early on meaning the rate of healing and recovery from the breakup will flow smoothly and at a shorter time.

You see, we don't forgive someone to please that person or for his sake. We forgive someone for our own sake, to free ourselves from the stronghold of negative emotions. That is the same case when responding positively.

How you treated you is not something to ignore. It does hurt and he has to know you're hurting like hell. However, you can tell him how you're hurting by not shouting or screaming but talking in a controllable voice. The voice might be shaky and you might even shed tears. Nothing wrong with that because it is an outward expression of how you feel.

Remember, it is not about him. It is never about him. It is about you. You don't respond positively to boost his ego. You do it to boost your self-esteem. You don't do it to please him. You do it for your own sake. You're the one in control of your situation.

How you respond to a situation determines the after-effects of your response. It is not a weakness to respond positively but a sign of maturity and a show that despite how much he has hurt you, you will not kneel and beg. You have a life to live and he will witness how strong you are by not giving up or letting them break up tear you into pieces.

I might not have answered your questions sufficiently. However, I provided a glimpse of why responding positively is not for the sake of your ex and you can let him know how hurtful you're - how guilty he is - in positive ways.

Updated on May 11, 2020

Original Article:

How to Respond Maturely When Someone Breaks Up With You
By Alianess Benny Njuguna

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)