Maybe you could look at your relationship differently. If you've been married 36 years, then you have figured out how to make things work. What is the big picture? Is he a good man who loves you, and takes care of your family, but has a few flaws, just like everyone else does? Perhaps, instead of giving him a list of things he's doing wrong, you could focus on the one thing that you find really hurtful. Just one thing. Don't hurl a barrage of complaints. Explain how it makes you feel when he does whatever it is. And give him concrete examples. Don't go on the warpath, and don't get all emotional. Tell him how you feel, give him examples of when the behavior occurs, and then give him some concrete things he could do differently. Try to keep it simple. One or two things he could do differently that would make a big difference to you. Ask him if he would be willing to try to make things a little better for your marriage. It is a tremendous accomplishment to stay married for such a long time, and I give you my respect. I wish you all the best.