These are very heavy issues in your marriage. You will not be able to make a decision alone. You will need lots of support, hopefully from family and friends. You could also benefit from seeing a counselor, one-on-one, to help you sort through the negative impact your marriage has had on you. A counselor can also help you identify resources in your area that will provide support from your community. These resources can assist you with decision-making. I wish you the best, thanks for reading.