I don't know if you are describing a sugar momma. Do you provide all the money for the bills and his shoes? If he is unwilling to sit down with you and go over your finances, then it is up to you to create a budget. Determine how much money comes in. List the amounts needed every month for food, utilities, rent, and other bills. Finally, he can use what is left to buy shoes and whatnot. The two of you can decide how to spend what's leftover, but the most important thing is to ensure you have a stable home and food on the table. Clothes and entertainment should come last.