I admire your patience. Chances are there were some positive aspects of the marriage that kept you loyal all this time. You've also been investing yourself in the relationship for these many years. There's much to hold onto.
Make sure that your husband knows that: (1) you want the marriage; (2) you have decided not to tolerate his disrespect any longer; (3) you are longing for him to make your marriage his priority relationship; (4) you are willing to cooperate with him in making adjustments which will satisfy both of you; and (5) what you really want is for both of you to be happy together. If you know a professional whom you both trust and respect, you might want to consult with him or her.
Meanwhile, please read my article entitled "Consider These Before You End the Marriage" and continue to be loving and kind as you work with him to make adjustments in his undesirable behavior. If you are a believer, don't neglect prayer.