My boyfriend and I started with lust, then to love, and followed by respect. But lust has diminished, and I wonder why? He says he’s not quite sure, but he’s certainly finding himself loving me more and more. Is this normal? What can we do about it?
Answer
Your experience with your boyfriend losing his feelings of lust is exactly what I described in my article you just read.
You probably remember I ended the article saying, “If lust is desired but missing, then help one another create it with honest and attentive communication.”
So I would recommend you let your boyfriend read the article too. Then discuss it with him.
Since you said he developed respect for you after losing lustful feelings, pay particular attention to the section, “The Dilemma of Love, Lust, and Respect.” That’s where I describe people who can only lust after another when they don't respect them.
That will give you a lot to talk about with your boyfriend as you focus on the issues in your relationship. It's possible that his new-found respect for you is deterring his lust.
The article is at https://pairedlife.com/relationships/lust-love-and...
