She's having a great time. Best of all worlds. Getting divorced civilly is good way to do it, but there's nothing preventing her instigating proceedings now. There's no 'right' time to do it. If she fobs you off with excuses why she cannot do it now, then she is not being honest with you. The thing is, whether or not you two get together, she must know that she's in an unhappy marriage (if what she says is to be believed). Otherwise, she wouldn't be looking for emotional and sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage. You have to work out whether she is likely to divorce or not. And if not, you have to decide if you are happy sharing a woman with another man.