While your intentions are honorable, I would strongly suggest that you don't contact his wife. She will be hurt and confused, and will automatically blame you rather than seeing that her husband has encouraged your feelings. She will see it as an attempt by you to ruin her marriage, and she could retaliate by telling your husband or causing all sorts of trouble for you. Having a crush like yours can be incredibly lonely because people do not understand that you can't help who you love, and instead see you as a threat or a homewrecker. This is one of the main reasons why I wrote this article in the first place. I wanted people to realize that they are not horrible outcasts for crushing on someone unavailable, and I wanted to provide a forum for people to share their experiences and not feel alone. The best option for you, if possible, would be to remove yourself from being able to see this man and to seek help to reignite the passions of your own marriage. It will hurt, but you will know you are doing the right thing by everyone.