I have a close male friend. I have feelings for him, and he also has feelings for me. But he’s not loyal. I know, but still, I want to change him. So what can I do?

Answer

I’m trying to imagine a man who is in the habit of playing around changing because a good woman wants to change him, and I’m having trouble with it.

I’ve discussed it with my friends, and we are in agreement on the following points: -

- A guy like that will only change if he wants to, which is not the same thing as his partner wanting him to.

- It must be incredibly stressful for a woman who half-expects her partner to cheat on her sometime in the future.

- A good friend doesn’t necessarily make a good boyfriend or husband.

- A guy who decides to try being faithful for the first time generally has a brand new woman in his life. (And is generally ‘older,’ with a bunch of failed relationships behind him.)

We don’t know what your friend is like, and of course, we don’t know for sure that you couldn’t make a relationship with him work. But if you’ve known him long enough and well enough to know he isn’t loyal, there’s a risk he’ll say, ‘You knew what I was like before we even got together.’

So if you try to change him, be prepared for him to disappoint you. It seems like the easier (and likely, happier) option is to keep him as a friend if you want, but look for a new man to be your partner.

Updated on May 7, 2018

Original Article:

How to Impress a Boy: 5 Things You Can Do to Impress a Guy You Really Like
By Daniel Long
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