10 Reasons to Work Out Your Marriage

Updated on January 2, 2017

Choosing Marriage over Divorce

As little girls we are taught and believe that there is a "Price Charming" or "Knight in Shining Armour" that will one day come in and sweep us off our feet. We believe that the "Frog" can be turned into that Prince with just the touch of our lips. But as we grow up we come to realize that men are imperfect. Likewise, men are brought up to believe that every woman should be June Cleaver combined with the sex-appeal of Marilyn Monroe. And women, too, are imperfect.

The world suggests that as soon as something in our marriage goes wrong, and that spouse doesn't measure up to our expectations, that we call it quits and move on to a search for someone who does measure up to our expectations. We somehow forget all the wonderful qualities this person had that caused us to marry him or her in the first place, and we begin analyzing and picking apart all of their weaknesses and imperfections. We talk to everyone who will listen and they willingly back us up in our position and suddenly that wonderful person that we promised to love, honor and respect forever is nothing more than a thorn in our side that needs to be plucked and discarded.

But if you loved that person enough to marry them, then you can find it in yourself to love them enough to continue to fight for them and help bring out the best in them rather than expect them to just bring out the best in you.

So with that said, here are my 10 reasons for staying in your marriage:

1. Love is Unconditional. It's your choice to love or not love. Make the choice today to love your spouse unconditionally and to look for those redeeming qualities that are easy to love, no matter how small, and overlook those qualities that need improvement.

2. A person that gets divorced is 50% more likely to get divorced a 2nd time, and then 75% more likely to get divorced a 3rd time. Why not just work with the one your with rather than continue to go through person after person looking for someone to fill the void that only you can fill.

3. Children. If you have any children, it becomes even more imperative to work harder on your marriage and resolve to stay committed. Children are affected the most by divorce. If you can't find it in your heart to love your spouse enough at this moment to stick it out, then love your children enough.

4. Personal Growth. Nothing like the challenge of working through these difficult times will help you grow more as a person. You will become more refined and more the person you truly are when you are willing to sacrifice what you want in the moment for what can be the future.

5. No Guarantees. There are no guarantees that if you divorce this person you will be happy. You may never find someone that will be all that you want them to be. However this person once made you believe that they could be. Why not put the effort into this person rather than start over with a new person?

6. Commitment. You made a promise to love, honor and cherish this person for as long as you live. Now you should honor that commitment and have integrity in your promises.

7. Finances. Although finances may be the reason your considering ending your marriage, I promise you that divorce is not the answer!! Not only is it more difficult to support your family with one income (and men who pay child support are usually supporting 2 families with that one income if he gets remarried), but walking away from a problem is never the solution. There is an additional opportunity for personal growth if you are willing to work through the financial challenges in your marriage and deal with them head-on. If finances weren't an issue, think about how you and your children will be affected financially by these decisions.

8. God. If you are a religious person, especially if you are a Christian, this shouldn't need any further explanation. If you require further explanation, study your Bible by going to the Bible Dictionary and looking up the words "marriage", "husband", "wife".

9. Joy. You will have no greater joy in your life than by finding a way to work through the problems, resolve them, and find those solutions together that take you back to the reasons you got married in the first place.

10. Unconditional Love. I know I've already said this, but it deserves to be repeated. It's difficult to love unconditionally. Some people will say "I do love my spouse still, I just can't live with him/her". Unconditional Love says you will do everything in your power to find their redeeming qualities, overlook their imperfections and accept them completely. You will help them become their higher self.

"True Love" isn't something that you fall in and out of. True love is something that you build over time. You build it a brick at a time by sacrifice, selflessness and love. You allow the trials and tribulations to be your mortar rather than your wrecking ball. Don't be hasty in opting for a divorce. And if you are still together in the same house, stay that way. A separation will usually do more harm than good. Rather than focus on what the other person has done wrong, take a deeper look at yourself and the areas you need to improve. Get counseling, go to a self-improvement workshop, take a financial peace class...whatever it takes. Be willing to fight for the most important person that will ever be in your life.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Adrien 

      3 years ago

      I want to commend you on your great resuorce for parents and kids going through divorce. Divorce is a very difficult process to go through for everyone involved. As your website points out, helping children through a divorce is the most important aspect. Your kids will need help to get through this stage and onto the rest of their lives. Thanks for your great resuorce.

    • jenbeach21 profile image

      jenbeach21 

      6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I completely agree with point number 1. Love is a choice! I wish more people could understand that.

    • JaneKnowsbest profile imageAUTHOR

      JaneKnowsbest 

      6 years ago

      Thanks for your comment! I agree, and the sad thing is that it starts a trend of broken relationship after broken relationship. As human being's, we're so quick to blame the other person and then we take our flaws that we still haven't worked out on to the next new relationship. No surprise we continue to find ourselves in the same old relationship just with someone different.

    • petenali profile image

      Pete 

      6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Great hub... I actually answered a question on here earlier that asked, "What makes a great couple?" Commitment is the answer. Unfortunately, in this day and age, marriages are just another throw away item, like a broken cellphone. Ditch it and get another. That might seem to work until the next one breaks. Marriage is a commitment, warts and all.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)