Mind Games Men Like Playing on Women
Some men really love playing mind games on women. I know I do.
If you're wondering what a mind game is, they come in many forms but always involve one thing—sending mixed signals to toy with someone's emotions.
Why Do Men Play Mind Games?
If you suspect that your significant other may be playing one on you, all is not lost. Mind games are played for many reasons. If you understand how and why he is pushing you, you will be able to play the player at his own game and come out ahead. This article will list the reasons people play tricks, then explain the most common ones and how to win them. Here are the three main reasons people use deceitful ploys:
- The first reason why a man might play them is just to test his woman—her love, loyalty, emotional capability, understanding, and intelligence. Count me in.
- A man may also play them when he really wants to obtain something from his significant other and knows that the only way he can make her consider doing it is by messing with her emotions. These guys are what I call the real players. These real players or masters of the game have recognized how vulnerable emotions can make people, and they are using this shortcoming to their advantage.
- Yet other guys play games simply because—now, you must wait as I look over my shoulders to make sure no angry girl is close by because of what I am about to say next. Listen, a man may also be playing games simply because he knows it can be fun. Such a man may purposely stir the waters just to watch the fish react. Sometimes putting someone off balance can be satisfying. But hey—don’t say I told you so, because if you do, I will surely deny it!
Unfortunately, some people will not be able to see through these type of games. Playing with someone's emotions can even lead to fights, name-calling, breakups, divorce, and other things of that nature. So my advice to all my fellow mind-gamers is always that, although I know games can be mischievously fun, it's important to recognize when enough is enough and pull the plug before you cross that point of no return.
Mind Games and Their Hacks
Are you interested in knowing how he could be springing that mind game on you?
Based off of my own experience, here are some flags:
1. Does He Make Unreasonable or Impossible Demands?
It normally happens without warning. All of a sudden he starts making unreasonable or impossible demands.
He might start suggesting and demanding that the two of you visit places or people he knows you don’t want to visit. He will start insisting that you watch his favorite TV sports program that he knows you don’t like.
He may even start preventing you from doing what you normally would—perhaps even not letting you leave the house.
Watch it, please, my dear girl. Don’t overreact, because he might just be testing you.
If he is, he is testing your will power, your resolve, your flexibility, and, most importantly, your strength.
If you really want to get into his heart, I believe this is the time to show him how understanding and diplomatic you can be.
Believe me when I say that if you pass this one test with me, you will have every reason to celebrate because you’ve just increased my trust in you, whether or not you realize it.
2. Did He Suddenly Stop Calling?
This can be quite frustrating for the girl. If a girl is really interested, she will normally have a strong emotional reaction to this type of psychological warfare.
Most girls will get worked up with fearful thoughts. A girl will start worrying and wondering if he is still interested, if he has seen or is seeing someone else, if he is in serious trouble, if he is ill, etc. Questions, questions, questions, with no answers, because the guy who is supposed to provide the answers is nowhere to be seen. He is not calling, and he is not answering calls.
Don’t get panicky, girlfriend, just look at everything in perspective. Think of it this way: Maybe he is trying to see how much you needed him or how much you will miss him if he is no longer there.
If this is the case, your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover.
3. Is He Giving You the Silent Treatment or Only Talking in Monosyllables?
Most women don’t like this. They enjoy steady conversation with their lovers, so once he starts going monosyllabic on her, she will immediately inquire whether there is a problem. Then he will respond in monosyllables or may even begin giving the silent treatment.
If this happens to you, know that he is fully aware that your mind will go spinning off the hook as you start wondering what you've done wrong.
Listen to me: Just relax.
Don’t panic or fall into the temptation of saying something terrible you might regret later. He is just testing your ability to endure. So prove that you can, and don't act needy, although it's important to let him know that you love him.
4. Has He Become Inexplicably Aggressive?
You start noticing that the nice guy you are used to has transformed into a violent stranger.
The aggression may not only be directed at you, but also at everybody nearby, creating an atmosphere of fear.
I know the situation is not funny. However, the purpose of this terrible ploy is not to hurt you but to test your bravery and tensile strength. He wants to see how much shock you can withstand. Nobody needs a coward as a mate.
Even though your partner may not want to admit it, most men need to know that you are that someone who can actually stand up to them and call them to order at the times they need it the most. Doing so successfully will prove you are a strong and fearless woman.
5. Does He Refuse to Give You Compliments?
This is one way to get a girl, any girl, to boil. Women love to be complimented, and they don’t hide the fact. (Actually, I think men love compliments even more than women, but while men are expected to keep this desire on the low, women aren't.)
Women love to be told how good-looking, pretty, and beautiful they are. Is that not why they generally spend so much time in front of mirrors and at the beautician’s or hair salon?
So after a woman has laboriously made herself up, she loves to hear her man say he likes the end results. The same goes for her cooking, sense of fashion, and even lovemaking skills. Women love those words—those sweet nothings.
And what does he do? He acts as if he didn't notice anything. Almost as if she did not exist!
If this happens to you, you can be sure he's watching your frustration build. You may even be tempted to start throwing a tantrum—which would be playing into his hands. He is testing you to find your breaking point. He wants to see if you're normal—after all, it is only human to get desire acknowledgement—but he also wants to see if you can handle it when someone does not give you the expected response.
6. Is He Comparing You to Others, Your Sister, or Your Friend?
This is the worst form of all the mind games he can ever play with a girl.
By comparing her with others in a negative light, he is using the most destructive means to point out her shortcomings and faults. We know that our faults are what makes us human, but when a person deliberately forces his significant other to take another look at herself in such a deriding manner, he is sending an entirely different and more terrible message altogether.
Whether he is actually trying to correct his girlfriend's faults or telling her that he can’t live with her anymore, the bottom line is that he purposely gets her agitated by implying that he thinks those other people are better than her.
If this is happening to you, listen up. You might want to retaliate by revealing or telling him things to prove that those people are not as great as he thought they were.
But before you do something like that, think again. Don't let him provoke you into saying ugly, malicious, and revealing things about other people too easily. If you do, it may show that you are ready to throw people who made the "terrible mistake" of confiding in you under the bus. He may also think that such a reaction goes to show how you might talk about him the day the chips are down.
Besides, he might be really interested in getting you to change for the better. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes, it is only true friends who can tell you that type of truth—he may want you to know that he is indeed a true friend.
7. Is He Flirting with Other Girls?
Mind-gamers know that women are always watching out for those tendencies toward straying that men normally display even unconsciously.
And so what does a mind-gamer do? Of course, he sends you those signals! Such a guy will flirt and flirt and flirt just to make sure that you get the message that he may be interested in others more than you.
There are three reasons he may be doing this, and I am afraid to say them, as they are not exactly what you are going to want to hear:
- He may be flirting with others in order to stoke your latent jealousy and make you more interested in him.
- He could be flirting for fun now just to test the waters and see what your reaction would be like should he on one bright tempting day forget his boundaries and actually take things too far with another girl.
- He could also be doing it to send you the unspoken message that he is planning on calling it quits, and when he does, he will say that it is because he can no longer cope with your possessiveness.
If it is for the first reason, you just have to show him the love. That is what he really wants—for you to demonstrate that you really want him.
If it is for the second reason, you just go ahead and call him to order by letting him know that even though you know he thinks he is having fun now, that there is a limit to that that rubbish you can stomach. I bet you he will be shocked to find out that you know the game, and this will definitely make him man up at once. This will also show that you are intelligent, understanding, caring, responsible, and still interested.
Let’s pray it will never be for the third reason. If so, there's not much you can do except examine whether you truly are clingy or if it's just his excuse for breaking up. If you're actually being overly possessive, you should be ready to do something about that habit, since it is a turn-off for most men.
8. Is He Becoming Secretive?
Suddenly, you notice your man is becoming more and more secretive.
If a man is engaging in this type of psychological warfare, there are many ways he could he could go about it.
He might start by refusing to answer some of your questions. He might stop sharing thoughts with you and start preferring to be on his own. He might start appearing distant and forgetful. These actions all are meant to signify a lack of interest in you.
True mind-gamers know that this strategy works like magic if the woman in question is really interested, because her significant other's withdrawal will cause her to become more interested in him and his affairs. The doubts and suspicions he has created in her mind will make her worried, and she will work to find out what is wrong.
As with other mind games, purposely creating doubt can allow the mind gamer to find out about how she will react if she ever hears something not-so-great about him.
If your man is playing this trick on you, he wants to see for himself whether he can trust you. He wants to know how you react to gossip and hearsay. He is interested to know if you can actually think for yourself and discern the truth by separating the facts from the chaff of any circulating rumors you might hear about him.
Any interested lady will want to know what is going on with her man. She will try to prove the unspoken message that she couldn't handle what's going on with him wrong by showing him how loyal she can be. In the process, she might even reveal something secret about herself that he never knew—which might even be the reason he launched this type of mind game in the first place.
She will demand almost to the point of going hysteric that he tells her everything that is troubling or bothering him. And then, he will be convinced that she is seriously concerned.
But on the contrary, if she does not show any sign of concern, he will get the message that she doesn't care, which means she’s anything but loyal or trustworthy!
So be careful how you respond to this type of mind game. Show support without giving away your own secrets. One wrong move and you can come off as cold or as someone he cannot depend on.
However, it might also be a good time to review your future plans together to see if you are still featurin’.
9. Has He Become Disinterested in Sex?
One weapon women have over men is in sex. Men are insatiable—often even hard feelings, arguments, and contempt will not prevent them from wanting to get it on.
To them, it’s just physical.
So when your guy who used to be all over you in the bedroom suddenly develops this inexplicable lack of sexual interest in you, something must be amiss.
He'll expect that you will be worried and ask him about it. If you do, it will show that you are observant and interested in suggestions for how to fix the problem. This will be a big plus for you in his book. If you don't, he may think that you don't care enough to put his needs first.
If someone is playing mind games on you, is he worth it?
Some people, in fact many people, hate the idea of someone playing mind games with them. They might feel as though they are being used as pawns in such games.
Which might be true or not.
Besides, it is understandable to not like mind games, because they are very risky games to play. You may never be able to decipher what he is playing at, and that means that one wrong move could cause the whole cookie that is your relationship to start to crumble.
So you should be on the lookout for some of these signs and master how to counterattack using the potent gift of female intuition.
Always remember that mind games are normally launched without prior warning. So that is one very easy way to determine if and when the heat is on. When you notice a sudden change in his behavior towards you, that is when you should tighten your seatbelt and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster.
The key is never to say or do anything that you might regret. Always bear in mind that sometimes, some (wicked) men are just looking for ridiculous excuses to break up. Please don't give him one real reason now.
However, as unbelievable or as funny as it may sound to you, I also fully believe that playing mind games can be used to cement a relationship and make it stronger. This is because psychological warfare can serve as an avenue to enable you to know who you are dealing with in the relationship. When both players play well, they can grow to respect each other's strength, grace, and diplomacy under duress.
Oh, and I almost forgot, mind games can also be fun because they provide the lovebirds with something to talk, joke, and laugh about later—maybe after a bout of wonderful make-up sex!
Have You Ever Been Gamed?
If someone has played on of the mind tricks on you, which one was it?
What Do You Think Is the Best Way to Deal with a Player?
What do you do when you realize you're being played?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.