Some men really love playing mind games on women. I know I do.
If you're wondering what a mind game is, they come in many forms but always involve one thing—sending mixed signals to toy with someone's emotions.
Why Do Men Play Mind Games?
If you suspect that your significant other may be playing one on you, all is not lost. Mind games are played for many reasons. If you understand how and why he is pushing you, you will be able to play the player at his own game and come out ahead. This article will list the reasons people play tricks, then explain the most common ones and how to win them. Here are the three main reasons people use deceitful ploys:
- The first reason why a man might play them is just to test his woman—her love, loyalty, emotional capability, understanding, and intelligence. Count me in.
- A man may also play them when he really wants to obtain something from his significant other and knows that the only way he can make her consider doing it is by messing with her emotions. These guys are what I call the real players. These real players or masters of the game have recognized how vulnerable emotions can make people, and they are using this shortcoming to their advantage.
- Yet other guys play games simply because—now, you must wait as I look over my shoulders to make sure no angry girl is close by because of what I am about to say next. Listen, a man may also be playing games simply because he knows it can be fun. Such a man may purposely stir the waters just to watch the fish react. Sometimes putting someone off balance can be satisfying. But hey—don’t say I told you so, because if you do, I will surely deny it!
Unfortunately, some people will not be able to see through these type of games. Playing with someone's emotions can even lead to fights, name-calling, breakups, divorce, and other things of that nature. So my advice to all my fellow mind-gamers is always that, although I know games can be mischievously fun, it's important to recognize when enough is enough and pull the plug before you cross that point of no return.
Mind Games and Their Hacks
Are you interested in knowing how he could be springing that mind game on you?
Based off of my own experience, here are some flags.
1. Does He Make Unreasonable or Impossible Demands?
It normally happens without warning. All of a sudden he starts making unreasonable or impossible demands.
He might start suggesting and demanding that the two of you visit places or people he knows you don’t want to visit. He will start insisting that you watch his favorite TV sports program that he knows you don’t like.
He may even start preventing you from doing what you normally would—perhaps even not letting you leave the house.
Watch it, please, my dear girl. Don’t overreact, because he might just be testing you.
If he is, he is testing your will power, your resolve, your flexibility, and, most importantly, your strength.
If you really want to get into his heart, I believe this is the time to show him how understanding and diplomatic you can be.
Believe me when I say that if you pass this one test with me, you will have every reason to celebrate because you’ve just increased my trust in you, whether or not you realize it.
2. Did He Suddenly Stop Calling?
This can be quite frustrating for the girl. If a girl is really interested, she will normally have a strong emotional reaction to this type of psychological warfare.
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Most girls will get worked up with fearful thoughts. A girl will start worrying and wondering if he is still interested, if he has seen or is seeing someone else, if he is in serious trouble, if he is ill, etc. Questions, questions, questions, with no answers, because the guy who is supposed to provide the answers is nowhere to be seen. He is not calling, and he is not answering calls.
Don’t get panicky, girlfriend, just look at everything in perspective. Think of it this way: Maybe he is trying to see how much you needed him or how much you will miss him if he is no longer there.
If this is the case, your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover.
3. Is He Giving You the Silent Treatment or Only Talking in Monosyllables?
Most women don’t like this. They enjoy steady conversation with their lovers, so once he starts going monosyllabic on her, she will immediately inquire whether there is a problem. Then he will respond in monosyllables or may even begin giving the silent treatment.
If this happens to you, know that he is fully aware that your mind will go spinning off the hook as you start wondering what you've done wrong.
Listen to me: Just relax.
Don’t panic or fall into the temptation of saying something terrible you might regret later. He is just testing your ability to endure. So prove that you can, and don't act needy, although it's important to let him know that you love him.
4. Has He Become Inexplicably Aggressive?
You start noticing that the nice guy you are used to has transformed into a violent stranger.
The aggression may not only be directed at you, but also at everybody nearby, creating an atmosphere of fear.
I know the situation is not funny. However, the purpose of this terrible ploy is not to hurt you but to test your bravery and tensile strength. He wants to see how much shock you can withstand. Nobody needs a coward as a mate.
Even though your partner may not want to admit it, most men need to know that you are that someone who can actually stand up to them and call them to order at the times they need it the most. Doing so successfully will prove you are a strong and fearless woman.
5. Does He Refuse to Give You Compliments?
This is one way to get a girl, any girl, to boil. Women love to be complimented, and they don’t hide the fact. (Actually, I think men love compliments even more than women, but while men are expected to keep this desire on the low, women aren't.)
Women love to be told how good-looking, pretty, and beautiful they are. Is that not why they generally spend so much time in front of mirrors and at the beautician’s or hair salon?
So after a woman has laboriously made herself up, she loves to hear her man say he likes the end results. The same goes for her cooking, sense of fashion, and even lovemaking skills. Women love those words—those sweet nothings.
And what does he do? He acts as if he didn't notice anything. Almost as if she did not exist!
If this happens to you, you can be sure he's watching your frustration build. You may even be tempted to start throwing a tantrum—which would be playing into his hands. He is testing you to find your breaking point. He wants to see if you're normal—after all, it is only human to get desire acknowledgement—but he also wants to see if you can handle it when someone does not give you the expected response.
6. Is He Comparing You to Others, Your Sister, or Your Friend?
This is the worst form of all the mind games he can ever play with a girl.
By comparing her with others in a negative light, he is using the most destructive means to point out her shortcomings and faults. We know that our faults are what makes us human, but when a person deliberately forces his significant other to take another look at herself in such a deriding manner, he is sending an entirely different and more terrible message altogether.
Whether he is actually trying to correct his girlfriend's faults or telling her that he can’t live with her anymore, the bottom line is that he purposely gets her agitated by implying that he thinks those other people are better than her.
If this is happening to you, listen up. You might want to retaliate by revealing or telling him things to prove that those people are not as great as he thought they were.
But before you do something like that, think again. Don't let him provoke you into saying ugly, malicious, and revealing things about other people too easily. If you do, it may show that you are ready to throw people who made the "terrible mistake" of confiding in you under the bus. He may also think that such a reaction goes to show how you might talk about him the day the chips are down.
Besides, he might be really interested in getting you to change for the better. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes, it is only true friends who can tell you that type of truth—he may want you to know that he is indeed a true friend.
7. Is He Flirting with Other Girls?
Mind-gamers know that women are always watching out for those tendencies toward straying that men normally display even unconsciously.
And so what does a mind-gamer do? Of course, he sends you those signals! Such a guy will flirt and flirt and flirt just to make sure that you get the message that he may be interested in others more than you.
There are three reasons he may be doing this, and I am afraid to say them, as they are not exactly what you are going to want to hear.
- He may be flirting with others in order to stoke your latent jealousy and make you more interested in him.
- He could be flirting for fun now just to test the waters and see what your reaction would be like should he on one bright tempting day forget his boundaries and actually take things too far with another girl.
- He could also be doing it to send you the unspoken message that he is planning on calling it quits, and when he does, he will say that it is because he can no longer cope with your possessiveness.
If it is for the first reason, you just have to show him the love. That is what he really wants—for you to demonstrate that you really want him.
If it is for the second reason, you just go ahead and call him to order by letting him know that even though you know he thinks he is having fun now, that there is a limit to that that rubbish you can stomach. I bet you he will be shocked to find out that you know the game, and this will definitely make him man up at once. This will also show that you are intelligent, understanding, caring, responsible, and still interested.
Let’s pray it will never be for the third reason. If so, there's not much you can do except examine whether you truly are clingy or if it's just his excuse for breaking up. If you're actually being overly possessive, you should be ready to do something about that habit, since it is a turn-off for most men.
8. Is He Becoming Secretive?
Suddenly, you notice your man is becoming more and more secretive.
If a man is engaging in this type of psychological warfare, there are many ways he could he could go about it.
He might start by refusing to answer some of your questions. He might stop sharing thoughts with you and start preferring to be on his own. He might start appearing distant and forgetful. These actions all are meant to signify a lack of interest in you.
True mind-gamers know that this strategy works like magic if the woman in question is really interested, because her significant other's withdrawal will cause her to become more interested in him and his affairs. The doubts and suspicions he has created in her mind will make her worried, and she will work to find out what is wrong.
As with other mind games, purposely creating doubt can allow the mind gamer to find out about how she will react if she ever hears something not-so-great about him.
If your man is playing this trick on you, he wants to see for himself whether he can trust you. He wants to know how you react to gossip and hearsay. He is interested to know if you can actually think for yourself and discern the truth by separating the facts from the chaff of any circulating rumors you might hear about him.
Any interested lady will want to know what is going on with her man. She will try to prove the unspoken message that she couldn't handle what's going on with him wrong by showing him how loyal she can be. In the process, she might even reveal something secret about herself that he never knew—which might even be the reason he launched this type of mind game in the first place.
She will demand almost to the point of going hysteric that he tells her everything that is troubling or bothering him. And then, he will be convinced that she is seriously concerned.
But on the contrary, if she does not show any sign of concern, he will get the message that she doesn't care, which means she’s anything but loyal or trustworthy!
So be careful how you respond to this type of mind game. Show support without giving away your own secrets. One wrong move and you can come off as cold or as someone he cannot depend on.
However, it might also be a good time to review your future plans together to see if you are still featurin’.
9. Has He Become Disinterested in Sex?
One weapon women have over men is in sex. Men are insatiable—often even hard feelings, arguments, and contempt will not prevent them from wanting to get it on.
To them, it’s just physical.
So when your guy who used to be all over you in the bedroom suddenly develops this inexplicable lack of sexual interest in you, something must be amiss.
He'll expect that you will be worried and ask him about it. If you do, it will show that you are observant and interested in suggestions for how to fix the problem. This will be a big plus for you in his book. If you don't, he may think that you don't care enough to put his needs first.
Some people, in fact many people, hate the idea of someone playing mind games with them. They might feel as though they are being used as pawns in such games.
Which might be true or not.
Besides, it is understandable to not like mind games, because they are very risky games to play. You may never be able to decipher what he is playing at, and that means that one wrong move could cause the whole cookie that is your relationship to start to crumble.
So you should be on the lookout for some of these signs and master how to counterattack using the potent gift of female intuition.
Always remember that mind games are normally launched without prior warning. So that is one very easy way to determine if and when the heat is on. When you notice a sudden change in his behavior towards you, that is when you should tighten your seatbelt and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster.
The key is never to say or do anything that you might regret. Always bear in mind that sometimes, some (wicked) men are just looking for ridiculous excuses to break up. Please don't give him one real reason now.
However, as unbelievable or as funny as it may sound to you, I also fully believe that playing mind games can be used to cement a relationship and make it stronger. This is because psychological warfare can serve as an avenue to enable you to know who you are dealing with in the relationship. When both players play well, they can grow to respect each other's strength, grace, and diplomacy under duress.
Oh, and I almost forgot, mind games can also be fun because they provide the lovebirds with something to talk, joke, and laugh about later—maybe after a bout of wonderful make-up sex!
Have You Ever Been Gamed?
What Do You Think Is the Best Way to Deal with a Player?
Questions & Answers
Question: My friend plays all these games. I am sick of it. He is silent these days. What should I do?
Answer: You can let him know that you don't like these games. You can also try to find out why he is silent these days by simply asking him to tell you. No need for any speculations on my own part because I can't tell why he is so.
Kk on August 17, 2020:
I like to tell myself that this is not true but im in love with a man and just had our secound son. I love him dearly but if i explain what is bothering me for example affection than he will cone to bed and roll over knowing what the problem is and then in the morning i wake up angry and hurt he then begains to explain it was me or sometging i did. Here latly i cant control my emotions and he seems to be more and more distant not even able to carry on a converastion with out telling me im being weird and ruined the oppertunity i am so confused on why this ish happening to me but its serious i can see the whole plot unfoldibg and telling myself im not going to give him the reaction he wants but i end up flipping my script i never thought i be with a man who has no intention of showing me tge respect i am at a loss of words
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on July 30, 2020:
Hi there, Disgusting
How're you doing?
Somehow, I find your comment very hilarious.
Whatever you say, however you react to the article is okay because it's your opinion.
Thanks for stopping by.
Wisdom on December 12, 2019:
Run from anyone like this. Putting up with stuff like this is a setup to be abused.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on December 04, 2019:
I'm glad you found the article enlightening.
BlackRaven on December 04, 2019:
I used to look at the world through the movies and romance novels. It was a harsh landing for me when I had to face the tragedy I had with a guy who'd done a bad thing to me and I lost our baby on the way. It was a long journey for me to learn what actually happened but I still believed the truth is what I was taught. so the journey to discovery was still ahead of me at that time.
I totally understand some women who are in the stage of denial and who posted comments such as - no, it cannot be true. Yes, it is. It takes time to process it and you learn only when you hit on the wall too many times. I know I hit mine a lot so I learnt the hard way.
There are a lot of good and informative articles about male psychology but I like this one because it puts a new perspective to it all, especially in the final words - "However, as unbelievable or as funny as it may sound to you, I also fully believe that playing mind games can be used to cement a relationship and make it stronger. "
the world is the way it is. we are born into it not knowing much and the knowledge is power. there is no reason to be angry or desperate because it all makes sense in the end ;)
Thank you dear Emmy for writing this article...
No name on December 03, 2019:
This article is ridiculous - I suspect the guy is abusive and narcissistic. If you are treated this way get out now before it’s too late.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on November 13, 2019:
@Nikki, you are welcome.
Nikki on November 12, 2019:
This was a very good article and i swear my guy has done everything on this list!! And I've done well with recognizing and responding in a healthy manner. Thank you
TD on November 01, 2019:
Women play mind games more than men did. Just imagine why men play silent games on u all of the sudden? U play mind games, jealousy, give other people more attention than him, like everyone else Facebook and Instagram posts except him. Learn to realize your mistake and stop being a victim
Sick on August 22, 2019:
If you are loke me then you were in the game too deep before you realized it was happening. But my heart is hardened now. I am reading the article and I am shocked. The comments are very helpful and intelligent. I agree with some of you when you said it was a dangerous game to play. It is and that is how people end up hurt bad. Maybe that is the thrill for them tho to push the boundaries. I do not think he is playing games with me anymore i think its an attempt to stay here in the US. He is from Egypt. He is desparate. I know he is with another woman and I dont care bec I dont love him anymore. I jist dont want him to be happy here in the US bec it would be a slap in the face along with the reality that he used me for a green card. I have never known that human beings are capable of thinking this way. I am niave to the world bec i am a kind person so i want it to be that way but its not and unfortunalty i am experiencing it now. Looking back i try to convince myself that this isnt real. Noone would do this. Plus it takes a level of intelligence to carry this kind of thing out. I dont want to even fathom he might be smarter than me. Im like everyone on here too physically i am sick and in pain all over my body. Im trying to read and take in everyones comments and learn but it is hard. Where is the hope in humanity.
ss on August 15, 2019:
If a guy stopped calling me, especially early on...like 3 months in, I can honestly say I wouldnt reach out. So if that was his 'test' to see of I cared, i guess he would conclude that I do not. But he likely would be wrong.
Sad. Playing games is pathetic.
I take things as there are on the moment. So a man stops showing up, I interupt it as he has chosen to stop showing up. I dont need to know why. I dont read minds nor do I want to.
An alpha would never pull these tactics. These are beta male games. The beta male baby is always crying out for mommy to give him the tit and make him feel better. No thanks!
Women That Play Mind Games on August 03, 2019:
Women that play mind games will usually end up all alone with their cats anyway since they would really deserve that. Have a lot of fun with your cats ladies.
This is stupid on July 02, 2019:
Ladies and gentleman, you have now gotten the basics of narcissism. People like this, end up alone. Seeking narcissistic supply leaves you lonely. Quit while you’re ahead. Oh wait, you can’t because you’re practically insane.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on May 30, 2019:
Well, if that's how you see it, no problems.
I'm cool with that.
Kelly on May 29, 2019:
This article should be renamed, "How Men Keep Good Women In Unhealthy, On Edge, Fight Or Flight Mode With Emotional Abuse."
Sm1 on February 24, 2019:
I agree with "Nope" lol I'm laughing nd didn't even finish reading it, despite all here's my opening, some people play mind games cause they are lost and don't know what they need from life. Ironically, it can't be trust issues I mean YOU KNOW THE ONE WHEN YOU FIRST SEE HIM/HER!!! They know we'd go the extra mile for them and won't betray them!, mixed signals can create mixed emotions inside us nd really are heart breaking, I don't know but I think the only solution is to find balance between beauty and making money which says: I am responsible enough of my slef image and my pills. I think the best way is to live the happiest without them, take a chair, and sit on distance to see who is true enough to come-confess-and stay. Sometimes you just have to leave things in time hands to see what it will do with them, the people who been played on like myself, should not forget to live life. Leave it for time.
Js on February 16, 2019:
All the above were used on me. He was the one driving himself crazy because his games didn't last. The flirting game worked on me eventually because his family told me that they didn't like to read his flirts on FB's thread. I addressed this privately without mentioning his family. He was screaming on top of his lungs how jealousy or insecure I was.
In short, the 14 years marriage had ended. I told him I didn't need to explain everything that he surely knew he pushed my button. I don't need a man testing me then get upset if I don't react.
He knew I wouldn't react but refused to give up his mind games.
Jo on January 19, 2019:
Why? Why do men play mind game? It stupid, I've never been with no man in my past relationships like this, my husband is the only one thar play stupid mind game.. he disrespect me, name calling.. I am so over it! There are real men out there do respect with there wife or girlfriend, I dont like being around someone who love play mind games... sorry dude I dont have time for this get real get a life... just sayin'
Dan on January 09, 2019:
It’s not a gender issue it’s an integrity issue. Title could be, “Mind games insecure people play like playing on their partners”. Seeing as how I’m three for three when it comes to women cheating on me, I feel like I could copy paste this article and reverse the “he” and “her” throughout and it would hold relevant to other men who’ve been through my scenarios.
Nope on December 26, 2018:
When any of these things start happening, I walk away. It's not my job to carry the mental and emotional load of the relationship, and this is just another version of how women are expected to cater to men's every little whim and "prove themselves worthy." Nope. I'm done with all that. They can prove themselves worthy of me, or I can stay single. Either way i'm happy and not dealing with a child that can't handle his own emotions like a man.
Elsie Beck on December 14, 2018:
My man and I have been together for going on 8 years, he plays them all on me and he takes it to the extreme, I swear he is going to be the cause of my death some day, a lot of the time he makes my chest hurt and he says " it sounds like a personal problem" or he tells me it's my fault or I brought it on myself, I feel as if I can never do anything right in his eyes, I feel as if I deserve better, I can't take much more, I love him with all my heart, but the games have got to go, I'm a grown woman and I expect a grown man not a child trapped in a grown man's body or someone playing childish games! Life is short and those games make it shorter and give people a full head of grey hair and grow wrinkles fast! He won't listen to me, he tells me I don't know how to have fun, how do I get through to him and get him to stop before he finds me dead from a heart attack?
Iji on December 03, 2018:
Athena on November 22, 2018:
Wow.pure madness. I’m so happy I’ve decided to never date or get married.
Mind games???I have better things to do with my time then to play lame games with a guy.
Linda Norman on November 04, 2018:
There is away to stop games and that is to not play and walk away.
Tiredofbullshit on October 25, 2018:
Games is what get mofos killed...to play with someones psychotic state is not good. These jokes that guys and girls play could possibly mean someones demise, and should be taken very serious!
Honestly Speaking on October 22, 2018:
Women are the worst when it comes to playing mind games since their brains aren't fully developed yet.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on October 09, 2018:
Sorry for your experience.
I'm still glad you haven't actually given up on love even after going through all that terrible experience of being played.
Thanks for stopping by.
Hopefullymarie on October 08, 2018:
Women and men both suck! No one has any manners or respect for themselves anymore. If they dont respect themselves they wont respect you, thats your first sign. This is coming from a woman whose been played more times than she'd like to admit. Im still out here tho giving men the benifit of the doubt that theyre not all the same. Im just to nice and willing to do more than what I get in return. I make it easy for them to play me. Dont be easy to play notice the signs amd walk the heck away!
The Very Truth on October 06, 2018:
Well first of all most women nowadays are just plain very sad and pathetic altogether with a lot of very severe mental problems as well unfortunately. The way that they're acting with many of us good men that really don't play games at all since there are many of us men today that are really honestly looking for a good woman to settle down with. Most women today just don't have any manners at all, and their personality just stinks altogether as well. Most women are the ones playing these games since they need to see a good doctor, and i really believe that most women nowadays are really Bi Polar to begin with. God forbid for many of us men just saying good morning or hello to a woman that we would really like to meet which has really become so very dangerous for us men now since they will be very nasty to us most of the time and walk away. Women have really changed today unfortunately, and not for the good at all either. Now you have so many women today that really think they really are all that which they're just a real joke altogether with their very bad attitude problem that most of them have now. It is very obvious why there are so many of us men that are still single today which it is these kind of women that are very much to blame in the first place.
Sands01 on August 19, 2018:
This article has been such an eye opener. Who would think that we actually need to read up on and be on the lookout for people who have devised such strange/sophisticated ways of purposely playing games and upsetting us in order to see our reactions. I think that any kindhearted and unconceited human being should stay very clear of any mentally disturbed person who portrays this type of irrational behaviour in society. Its totally negative energy that does not spread any true love on to others who have genuinely, beautiful hearts. Dont waste time or energy on idiots like this. Move away from them and go and meet a kind human being who does not play games with the heart.
Christy M90 on August 07, 2018:
So we should tolerate and go along with mental and emotional abuse? Who wrote this crap?
O2k From Warri email@example.com on July 30, 2018:
I want to thank the writer for this wonderful article on mind games. I have learnt a lot from it.
This psychological article has really broaden my mind to know so much about the opposite sex.
Again, I say' thank you "
Johnd438 on July 30, 2018:
You completed a number of fine points there. I did a search on the theme and found the majority of folks will agree with your blog. geddeeeeedag
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on July 08, 2018:
That's a new one to me.
I swear to God, I never knew women are now WGTOW!
Ha ha ha
Well, even as you were going on your own way, thanks for stopping by, all the same.
Ha ha ha.
swamprabbits on July 08, 2018:
BS like this is why more women are going WGTOW
Anom on June 28, 2018:
Relationships are based on honesty and respect not mind games. You are not God. He is the only one that should be testing us not us.
Dee on May 17, 2018:
This is written like women are to look to men for their status. Like we must accommodate this type of bullshit. Chile bye. I'm grown. There should be mutual respect. Who the fuck gets off on seeking an emotional reaction from a person that is supposed to be close to you - or that you supposedly love. Imma tell you what, women are way better at mind gases and manipulation... but I don't want you if I got to resort to this low life shit. I aint' got time for it.
Mys Bytchy on May 03, 2018:
Guy does this shit to me, makes me want to shoot him in the dick. C-ya, loser boy.
OnionCutter on May 01, 2018:
Fuck off with this bullshit. I can detect it 10 miles away. Insecure fucking manchildren (little ass boys) with mommy issues. Lmao, it’s so pathetic how much you hate yourself to do this. Nobody who respects thenselves treats people like this, man or woman doesn’t matter. You’re disgusting and an ugly twit.
Dolores on February 28, 2018:
I don't have time for bullshit, he text everyday all suddenly, he stop. And then text me back again. I don't chase no men. Men don't understand , when I woman been hurt, they become a stone, hard heart. Only a real man or a woman can soften a broken heart. Hopefully he find the right one. If he wanted to be in my life, show me. I'm too old for bullshit.. Sorry but that's the truth..
Lynn on February 02, 2018:
Game is most likely to escalate physical violence when your pregnant, grieving, or sick. Try not to let him know your sick or in a pain. Just stone wall and lie and say your hair resting. I don’t mean don’t rest, but don’t tell him, WHY, your resting. He doesn’t need to know you’re in pain so he escalate his abuse/game until you magically make it all fine again, by not being sick anymore. Just.dont.tell.him.
4) Hide your weakness. If you want him to do something, or not do something, and you can’t do anything about it, don’t tell him not to. He just learns your weak and easy pray. Instead make you’re rules inside yourself. When you are in a position where you have more power, then you can actually say “if you do X, I’ll do Y” and back it. But until then bite your tongue and work in getting in a position to do Y.
5) Don’t talk about boundaries with these people. Here’s why. They see boundaries as a challenge. If you say “don’t call me a bitch” he will just do it over and over again as much as possible to prove your wrong. If you tell him what you’ll do about him calling you a bitch, leave for a few hours for example, he’ll just sabotage you and call you a butch when it’s hard for you to leave. Instead don’t tell him why, or what you’ll do if he calls you a bitch. Just hang up if your own the phone. Just pack of the kids and leave. If you can’t leave put in some earbuds and park the kids in front of a project the TV.
5) If you can’t leave, (no money to move out, young children, no job, no chilscare, threat of taking the kids back to his home country and unwilling to leave them with strangers was my situation) then try stonewalling. Now this won’t work with somebody who is violent. But AA has a saying. Don’t argue with a drunk. They also have a saying. When the codependent, the person putting up with game, starts resisting and making their own decisions, the gamer will fight back. They will demand and explanation and justification for their actions. To avoid all these questions and being analyzed and picked apart, repeat the same thing over and over again. This could be no, or I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve used “we’ll talk about it in the morning” to diffuse arguments and demands from an angry drunk playing games. Just go flat, don’t act scared or angry or upset and repeat some bland statement like, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “not right now” or “I already made my decision” or “no”. Eventually the gamer will get bored and give up and go away. First the gamer will get angry, then sad, then angry, then try to pretend it’s all okay, and hug you and give up and laugh it off. Now at this point they may back downs, but at this point it’s been an hour. You can take the surrender or keep stonewalling. It’s really liberating when you finally get enough guts to not make up and laugh it off because while cutting you down is a great game for him, it doesn’t work out so well for you. But eventually he will get bored, give up, and move on to something else.
6) There are certain situations where it’s very hard to avoid the games. Basically any emotionally intense one on one interactions, and most of these gamer types appreciate and audiance aonyou may end up with someone who will refuse to be alone with you, but wants to fight in front of the kids. This is another reason the broken record technique and stonewalling help. If de-escalated things and keeps you from getting into volatile dangerous likely to get violent screaming matches, and it keeps things clean on your end at least if not on his. But you have to be outwardly calm. Don’t worry about what you actually feel. You can be afraid, panicked, angry and heartbroken just don’t say it, and don’t cry if you can help it, and don’t start screaming. Just stay deadpan and focused: “no” “I don’t want to talk about it”.
7) There is physical maneuvering to this too. Don’t get in the car with a gamer. Don’t eat a meal with a gamer and if you do get lost in your phone. Put the kids in front of the TV or feed them at a different time to avoid the interactions and game between you and the man in your relationship. That stuff is horrible for kids and screws them up. Family meals aren’t helping when dad is using the 3 year old as a mouth piece to talk to mommy while giving mommy the silent treatment. Just find a way to keep them out of if. This manuevering especially with kids is complicated and requires a bit of creativity. If you go anywhere as a family, make sure he drives his car or doesn’t come, and you have transportation for you and the kids.
8) You know the things the game tells you about you? Yeah well he tells everyone else that too. And people believe him because, why would a man say such things about his wife and why would you stay if it wasn’t? If you want to stop this, well you can’t stop the gamer he’s not only gaming to game you, he’s gaming to make everyone else, including the kids, to cut you down and dislike you too. If you want to innoculate OTHER people against this, be openly adversarial. Do not play happy family. Admit that there is bad blood. There are ways of doing this and you will have to take responsibility for his behavior because we live in a culture where it’s unacceptable for women to blame men for men’s behavior. But, this is for random bystanders. You aren’t trying to get them on your side. They don’t want to get involved. All you are doing is warning them that there is bad blood between you and a gamer. Things like “we have a difficult marriage” “we don’t communicate well” “we have a very strained relationship” can let the other people know that you and him don’t get along. So...if you say “we have a difficult marriage” and he says your an evil blank blank blank whose having a sordid affair, and goes on about it for an hour, who looks like the nut? It’s not you.
9) Cut off sex. No don’t explain just do it. You will be infinity thousand times happier when you don’t have that gamer violating your body several times a week/month. Poor little him I know. Nothing matters more than men and their dick. Except the kids you can’t parent cause you have no patience, or support because your hair triggered and reactive all the time, or your safety which means you have to not be volatile when HE is volatile so this doesn’t get violent. Sex is glue. It’s like hormonal crack. You do not need to be glued to this guy.
10) Exposure to game will make you an awful person. It’s not you. It’s a natural reaction to having the person who “loves” you and “made a life” and “had a family” with your cut you down constantly to you and anyone else who will listen. It’s a natural reaction to constantly changing and impossible demands. The constant thinking of “great is he about to blow a gasket and kill me” will do it. The gaming and manuevinf necessary to counter him will do it. Work your ass off to regain your self worth, dignity, and self respect. Guard and protect and nurture your softness and kindness and those tendencies in your children. That will be your saving grace.Know it’s okay to be hurt and angry and often it’s the only sane response to the way your being treated. Take things on faith that it will get better and not always be like this and keep moving towards the door.
Eventually you will get out. Eventually his is going to get bored and abandon you and the kids. Just don’t leave them, try to build yourself up as much as possible, detach from him as much as possible, let the kids get whatever good they can from a relationship with him and avoid him the rest of the time, try to get as independent of him as possible and try to build yourself up as much as possible. It will get better, just pace yourself, and keep going. When you fail, and you will, pick it up, and remember this effort is for you, not to prove anything with him, just keep going.
And if this sounds like a boring stupid wreck of a marriage yup, it is. That’s why gamers are best avoided. The game has no limits and they never do get a grip and they just always offer up more angst drama and insecurity. They never calm down and relax. Not.worth.it.
Lynn on February 02, 2018:
Am I interested? Not really. Look, a certain amount of this testing each other out is normal enough. The mindgames, mindfuckery Id call it, not the cheating is the damaging part of the affair.
But, hey, if you can’t trust someone how can you rely on them? More important how can you trust them with your child? We are now debating the rights of men to force pregnant women to live in a certain area so the man can control the child.
I’m a huge proponent of not sharing custody with men. Be a single mother by choice. The man you love can still be the biological father, but, if done through proper and medical legal channels, he has no custody rights to the children. Which means when this becomes an issue instead of being strung around in endless loops of ever increasing bullshit you can actually take your children and leave. You can protect them.
Don’t think for one second that men who mindfuck don’t focus most of their mindfucks in the children. Why? It’s the easiest target that’s why.
Also don’t assume that mindfuckers don’t mindfuck anyone important in their lives. As a wife or lover their is nothing special about you, and these people will mindfuck your children too.
Look, have sex, have relationships with men if you like, but remember men are generally not good people who think they should be capable of being trusted. Men see people who trust as weak and stupid and deserving of what they get. The other kind will go to extreme lengths to make it obvious you can trust them, be offended when you don’t without reason, and roll their eyes at the idea that people have to act believable and keep their word if they want to be believed, because none of us is knows everything.
The easiest way to eliminate mindfuckery from your life is to eliminate men who aren’t close blood relatives from your life as much as possible. Obviously you will still have male neighbors, and aquaintances, but keep things light breezy and distant with coworkers.
Male friends? Unless this is one of those rare friendships going back to early adolescence or childhood where the thought of sex with you makes him ill, then no he is not your friend. Friendship is what men call friendzoning-it means his manipulation tactic to get into your pants didn’t work.
Have your fun, but keep your finances, and children, and home out of it.
Don’t share custody, or pool money, or live with me.
Men in sexless marriages like to say they are like roommates.
Men in sexless marriages like to say women should have sex when they don’t want to because men go to work as a favor for the women when the men don’t want to. This applies to parenting and housework and any other area of adulting.
Since when was supporting yourself, raising your kids, and a favor you did for other people?
Since men saw marriage as a ticket out of adulting and a free ride through life on a woman’s back.
This is a damn near universal attitude among even liberally raised Western men and why looking resources with men outside of strict formal business dealings should be avoided like the plague it is.
Honestly I’m not sure about business dealings given #Metoo, but my dealings were personal so I won’t say it.
Anyway, keep your money and home out of it but DO NOT SHARE CUSTODY.
Look people, the time and place for mindgames is either very early on when your first interested and feeling each other out, or in causal sex, fuck buddy, fling, summer romance, throw away type relations where the stakes are low because the relationships are transitory and disposable.
Once you start having sex with feelings involved, intended or not, get into a relationship based on more than ego convenience fun and maybe fucking, then this is the point to cut off the relationships or the mindgames. HELL YES. IF YOU CANT FACE IT THIS IS THE TIME FOR GHOSTING.
Decades into a marriage, or after kids God forbid IS NOT TIME FOR MINDFUCKERY. Divorce is also not the time for mindfuckery because your feelings are no longer your spouse business and vice versa. Split the crap, work out daycare and living arrangements and set up a schedule for the kids. This should take six months max. It’s not that damn hard...if both people will act like grown ups.
I can hear the men now....but what if a woman did blah blah blah. Meh. Count yourself lucky you don’t have to worry about her blowing a gasket and killing you or raping you or the kids. Serious physical injury, death, rape, and coercive control are the domain of women, so quit sniveling about her responsibility for your hurt feelings cause everyone gets hurt feelings and get on with your life. She won’t strangle you or put a gun to your head so you don’t actually HAVE to do anything. But THE KIDS THE KIDS THE KIDS!!!!1! What about the kids? Is she molesting them? No. Beating them? No. Neglecting them? Probably not. So make a fucking schedule, get off your ass and parent, eat crow cause the only parent who bonds with children biologically and invests the majority of time and resources statistically doesn’t owe you anything anymore. Is this a major custody decision? No? Then shut up and get on with it.
Yes well how would you feel if he did blah blah blah. Like shit, but legally motherhood means nothing more that fatherhood, so I can’t do anything about it.
What if he did this or didn’t tell you about blah blah blah during his parenting time? Well, see he lies so much I wouldn’t believe him anyway. Sometimes the kids tell me, but I don’t like grilling them or using them as messagers so I try to stay or if it.
I can tell you how to deal with a bully. You stand up to them and never show weakness. Ideally this is like the 1950s idea where one 8 year is bullying another eight year old. Eventually the bullied child screws up his courage, they fight behind the school, and even though he looses the bullied kid lands one on the bullied nose. The bully realizes bullied kid just like him, and respects him because he stuck up for himself. He apologizes or acknowledges the other kid, they become friends and everybody rides off into the sunset happily ever after. Ideally this is what happens. And, were kids taught to fight back it would probably work, but they aren’t anymore.
With adults however this won’t work. So with adults you have to use a different strategy.
1) Never tell these people your feelings. If they don’t know your feelings they can’t find the soft spots to stick the knife in. It’s amazing how game stops working once you stop confiding in somebody so they know how to cut you down.
2) Never tell them what your plans are. Why? What they don’t know won’t hurt you. Are you legally required to give this person the information? No? Then they don’t need to know it. But that’s not fair it’s his life too. Well...you can tell him your applying for a new job and he can show up at your interview and make a scene or you can keep your mouth shut and get the job. You can tell him you asked the neighbor to watch the kids, and he can tell her how your so lazy and evil and you just want her to watch the kids you can cheat on him, or you can keep your mouth shut about what your doing and where you go and who watches the kids during the day, and have daycare so you can go to that job. Which one do you want? Well why doesn’t he just watch the kids? Because he’s not going to cut back his work hours to parent so you can make money, (or share the money he makes with you without major arm twisting) or pay for daycare either. If he says he’ll watch the kids so you can go to a job interview he’ll, just bail on you at the last minute so you can’t go. That’s one employer who will never hire you. And guess who won that “game”? How much of this stupid do you want to play? Keep your mouth shut.
3) Medical stuff is sacrosanct. These men will often panic and get very scared if their security blanket/verbal punching bag, is broken. So they will go at you and attack you verbally (and maybe physically) until you are fine again. Don’t let them come to the doctor with you, show that you are in pain, or see your weakness.
Sherry Myers. on December 31, 2017:
First of I had A Guy That was a Player and yes I was attracted to him.But At the time I was taken.He tried to get me to cheat on my other didn' T work because .I Already Knew His Game.I Didn' t Give Into Having Sex With Him.Its A Good Thing Bbecause 2 yrs later my other dies. So I Have A Clean Conscience.And 1. I Beat This Player At his Own Game .Once You Give It To Him.HE WILL WRING YOU OUT LIKE A DIRTY DISH RAG. FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. " You Beat Him At His Own Game. That's How These Sick Players Work. They Only Want Sex And That s It.. So Be Strong And Do Not Give In Not Even One Time. You Will Feel Better In The End.
Barbara on December 03, 2017:
I love reading I'm going through this crap with my husband, I'm sick of it, this helps me thanks
Allie on November 28, 2017:
The "aggressive" section of the article through me over the edge. How about men learn to respect the woman they have, or remain single until they grow the hell up!
Dina on November 03, 2017:
Ridiculous article, sounds like a man looking for a doormat. Putting someone on hold, on a hook, withholding a person emotionally, this is to me comes across as way of control and manipulation, this is not healthy at all. If I can't communicate clearly, straight forward, sincerely, openly, honesty about what is going on in my life at the moment then that means I am not ready to enter a relationship. I first need to do some growing on my own before bringing a human being down with me. I don't play games. I don't tolerate it either.
lily on November 03, 2017:
When two people get together usually the game between them happen whether they like it or not. Obviously or not obviously. That is one aspect to learn from each other to grow together and also to see who is the ALPHA who is the BETA. But it is how it rolls - who is the dominant and who is not or in some aspects one is Alpha other is Beta and vice versa. So I can see how this happen. It's part of being human. Not a surprise to me when reading this article.
Libra Doll on September 19, 2017:
Woman are emotional creatures; men are not. I think when it comes to their feelings for a women they have no clue what they are feeling or why. Their hearts is telling them one thing, their mind is telling them another and their gut has a third answer. Sometimes the games may not be intentional - it's just they don't know what the heck to do with the feelings they are having. Men listen up - just face the fact you're interested and just ask the girl out and get on with something. Leaving us hanging and confused does nothing but piss us off!!!
Brelyn on September 06, 2017:
A guy who pushes a girl away when she has told him she wants to be with him is testing her to see is really wants him in her life and what move she will do next. As far as playing mind games that can really hurt someone's self esteem and shouldn't be used.
Interested on August 23, 2017:
Just swap all of the above to the other gender, and think of how it would be revived by men...
AuroraTheGreat on August 04, 2017:
I always surprise these losers. They start catching feels for me so they start playing games because they can't handle it. They're always afraid that I'll upgrade on them so they try to shake me up with their baby games. Then they wonder why I upgrade on them. Self fulfilling prophecy. First I have fun with them and wait for them to wait for my reaction. It's so much fun to watch them panic in wonder if they're going to lose me. Then they start posting memes on Facebook about how women are whack. It's so much fun to watch them go through it hehehehehe!!!
Nope on June 18, 2017:
Narcissism plain and simple.
Ann on June 01, 2017:
I would like to point out that not allowing a partner to leave the house is a sign of domestic violence
Debbie. E ray on May 27, 2017:
Well last night I text u rc an somebody text me back an say who is this so what does that mean
Nefer on April 17, 2017:
So basically, these are all ridiculous. I don't mean the article is, but the idea that any relationship should have to go through these steps. If you're a man or woman that feels the need to "test" their partner in these moronic ways, you aren't mature enough to have a partner.
SableCharms on April 15, 2017:
Hey, you'll just dismiss this but I thought you should know, much of what you have listed here is GASLIGHTING, that is, EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
That is not my opinion, it's fact.
SableCharms on April 15, 2017:
SO men really are manipulative assholes. Great. I can't trust any of them, no way of knowing if they're just trying to mess with me or if they're a genuine, decent person. Very sad to learn how truly manipulative men are.
Marie on April 07, 2017:
Games are definitely par for the course now, but you wouldn't think that any male over the age of 40 would be trying to run game.
I was reading your list to see if I missed anything, being that I dismissed him this week before seeing him again.
He put the "s" in shady. I don't know what his real situation is, but he'd always say it was work. I guess that's what he called her - work.
Anytime a male is not responsive after a certain time or can solely be reached by text. I know many solely rely on text, but that's how somerun game.
I could tell this one was complacent and used to females catering to him. I know he wanted the cookie, but I don't trust him, so that was never going to happen.
I blocked all means of contact as I don't like liars and I do believe he is a liar. Now I need to block his boy who is following m on ig too.
l on March 29, 2017:
Amongst intelligent people, this is referred to as abusive bullshit.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on March 24, 2017:
The truth is that different people react in different ways.
What works on one person may never work on the other person.
The key is to know who you're dealing with.
Anyway, in my own opinion, reacting poorly is acting as if you didn't notice any change in the behaviour of your partner towards you.
THold on March 23, 2017:
I realize this article is aging, but I just happened upon it and appreciated the forthcoming insight. Question though: As an educated man who isn't above 'playing games':-) how would a woman who valued herself and the man, respond when he disappears or suddenly stops calling? You say: "your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover."
I am interested in your insight, and opinion on what you feel should be said or done in this situation that can 'make or break it?' What is to be said or done that shows you are supportive, but not a pushover?
There are so many differing views. What do you feel is 'reacting poorly?' Some say to avoid and initiate 'no contact' just like the game player, others say voice your feelings, while others say to let them know you accept their need for space.
And I must add, while people love to hate the player, but even the haters participate and fall in love with the game....otherwise relationships wouldn't have the push/pull.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on March 22, 2017:
@Brian C U HERE
I liked your story.
Women over analyse way too much and that's probably the reason why it's so easy to play mind games on them.
Thanks Priscilla for reading.
I'm glad you found it helpful.
Priscilla sultana on March 21, 2017:
It was very helpful thankyou
Mer mer on February 22, 2017:
This sounds like psychological abuse 101. Not cool.
Brian C U HERE on February 10, 2017:
Ok girlfriends, I'm a very luck guy, most of my friends are women. I am not gay. But women way over analyze. Here is a very good example of what is usually going on.
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep — I cried.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
Motorcycle won't start...can't figure out why.
woman on January 27, 2017:
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on January 17, 2017:
Is that why you are now Single-For-Ever?
At 29 years, methinks that a wrong decision 'cause you've still a load of some more useful years ahead to enjoy your life!
Ha ha ha...
Singleforeva29 on January 17, 2017:
These types of passages make me upset cuz they are all true. Only difference is my little guy friend likes to play the reverse psychology game with me and all of a sudden give me a silent treatment no calls no nothing. And then im sitting there trying to figure out what i did wrong meanwhile hes really the one in his feelings because hes trying to do what he wants to do to make me upset but deep down trying to make himself feel like a mack smh
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on January 06, 2017:
@Only South Africans:
Your views, though...
Your views, though...
Deb on December 29, 2016:
Mind games are dangerous stupid and cowardly.
Angie on December 27, 2016:
My man sent me a song by Julio Iglesias to old the girls I've loved before. Is he breaking up with me
Shantanell on December 18, 2016:
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on November 18, 2016:
I'm glad you liked it, Wahida.
Thanks for reading.
SL on November 06, 2016:
When a guy plays mind games, I feel confused and stressed out and I don't trust him emotionally anymore.
I don't want to stick around and take more hurtful tests. At that point the guy has either come across as scary or emotionally abusive.
Suffragette on October 24, 2016:
My advice to anyone who is dating someone who plays mind games is to run! Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction because this person will destroy you and everything you are. Only give your heart to those who respect you and are worthy of it. I was in this position and it showed it's ugly head 11 months into what carried on to be a 5 year relationship from hell. Out of it last February and I'm only just started to feel my normal self again.
Annie Won on October 21, 2016:
I grew up around manipulative people (which, let's face it, is what you are if you play "mind games"), so I can spot an attempt at manipulation a mile away. I saw people I loved being manipulated into doing things they didn't want to by others who were SUPPOSED to love them...and I HATED it. In fact, I even inherited the trait, and have to work extra hard NOT to use it. Regardless of the source, whenever I see someone trying to manipulate me (person, media, etc.), I shut it down QUICK. If a guy I was interested in even STARTED to play a mind game, we'd be done on the SPOT. Life's too short to waste on little BOYS who only know how to PLAY. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I didn't date around a lot before I got married (thank God!), so I didn't have to deal with crappy men like this (the kind described in the article), but what it really boils down to is the Golden Rule. Would YOU want it done to you? Not would you "mind" or would you think it's "fair," but would you WANT someone to treat you that way? If the answer is "no," (and for most people, if they're HONEST, it WOULD be), then don't treat others that way. It's freaking SIMPLE. Why the heck would you expect someone to treat you BETTER than you treat them...? Because you think you can get away with it? I guarantee you someday you'll encounter that special someone who makes you wanna drop all your games and just have an honest relationship...and then you'll realize YOU got played, and it'll finally sink in. YOU did that to countless others, and it was "okay," but now suddenly it's not...? You might tell yourself you can "respect the game" they played on you, but at the end of the day, you KNOW what they did was WRONG.
BTW, when I say "you," I don't mean specifically the author, just "a person." I suppose I could use the term "one" (as in, "one will realize one got played"), but that's a little...sterile, a little impersonal. Any CHILD thinking to play with a woman's (or man's) heart needs to realize that what may be a "game" to them could have devastating effects on someone who's SINCERE, something they clearly have no ability to grasp.
anonymous on October 14, 2016:
Pure and simple, these are all examples of abuse. It's all a sickening, sad, pathetic, insiduous self serving and weak ploy. Men who play such games shouldn't be allowed on the field. A strong, assertive, self-aware and healthy woman would not put up with any of it. The End.
NoTimeForIt on September 28, 2016:
Grown people have no business playing childish games with a person's emotions. The best way to deal with a person who plays The Game like this is to never get involved with them in the first place. The whole, "Lets just go with the flow" is sheer
Vera on September 05, 2016:
So in other words, you're an abusive boyfriend. Cunt.
If a man can't just get it over with an fuck me already, he'll be sitting on the curb with yesterday's trash. I'm a busy woman with no patience for bullshit.
Instead of trying to get her to show you some devotion, why not show HER some? All take and no give... shit heel.
Manic Depressive on August 25, 2016:
Let us PLAY... Overall, we all know it is JUST a game... I'm always in, but I'm always a loner... The real struggle for mind games is what if they both really start to grow feelings for each other? Will it still be a game? It's the stage where complexity begins...
A Professional Con Artist
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on August 18, 2016:
Hi there reza.
I don't like the way it sounds at all.
Your boyfriend seems to be the controlling and jealous type.
And trust me, with time, you will find out the whole relationship is gonna engulf you, that is, if it hasn't already.
I suggest you talk to him. Let him know that his suspicions and constant poke nosing is killing you. The earlier you do that, the better for you.
Controlling and jealous men can be very dangerous and if care is not taken, out of so much fear of him, you might find out that you cannot even separate from him, even if you want to...
reza on August 17, 2016:
my boyfriend doesnt play mind games. He's just too difficult. He loves me, he is a child at heart who loves to be pampered with love now and then, but sometimes his need for pamper takes a toll on me. Sometimes I hate to let him know every little detail bcoz i like a sense of freedom. Its very subtle which he thinks if I dont give him those little details, I have something to hide, as if I don't love him as much as he does. I love him but I dont like him to be putting his nose into every little detail. He would care to to which people, especially guys that I talk when we are in a long distance. I do tell him most things but he wants me to be online and update him with my whereabouts regularly through social media/chat. How do I tell him that I love him and I also have to stay busy through the day. We dont have to break up only because we are far away and busy. How do I let him know that we must not compromise our careers and have faith, because a greater degree of online engagement will not only hamper my career but his too.
P.S. we both are enrolled into different business schools, so we don't get much time to talk for long hours even if we want to.
jtrader on August 13, 2016:
Once someone picks up that a person is like that they should leave them in the dust where they belong. They don't respect themselves.
Paulina on August 09, 2016:
I'm 39 yrs old, and I'm 4ft 8 inches tall. So I get mistaken for a young person, and I find that young men play this game where they stare at you, and it seems like they expect you to notice them back. I'm sure it's a game they're playing. Secondly I don't care to be around young people, and none of the guys from my generation ever did things like that. So I find it strange that today's younger generation thinks it's okay to play this type of game.
joe on July 15, 2016:
nice article just this video out to understand the 3 main reasons why women play drama
Lisa on July 04, 2016:
Women this is a curse to shut up your worn, men are clueless on these facts because they don't give birth. Stay away from guys who does this is a lack of respect for any woman and young adult worn. They have no idea it causing stress and my best friend lost a baby due to these same sick actions, Africa men play well these games, due to it their culture to see women and young adults as objects but clueless to the harm it causing, destroying their own women and God's health way of carrying her baby....CURSE!!!!!! Be Love and do so and you will reap what u sow.
Lisa on July 04, 2016:
My doctor said anyone playing with your emotions, stay away from them it can cause miscarriage, still births....They are messing with those same emotions you use to connect with your baby in your worn, stay away from fools. This is the way God make it to communicate with your baby in your stomach.......mind games stress the worn out and cause early births, even when your not with the guy any longer.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on June 30, 2016:
@Sara: I don't know if he's playing mind games with you or not, although to be frank with you, it sounds more like a threat to me.
@Anna: Your opinion, though.
sara on June 30, 2016:
We started to chat onlion we were good friends but suddenly he started to say things like i wanna control you and now he threatens to stalk me .how should i deal with him
Anna on June 30, 2016:
This is nonsense. Anybody who would be deliberately deceitful to someone just to see how they react doesn't deserve to keep that someone. And nobody should put up with any of that crap. You don't have to be in such a hurry to see what's inside somebody. If they trust you they'll show you. If you play games to get it they'll never trust you like they would otherwise. And you don't deserve their trust. If you want to know who somebody is wait for the circumstances of life to bring it out, don't manufacture your own.
sara on June 30, 2016:
I started to chat with a guy onlion and now its over a year .he suddeny said stuff like i wanna control you ,posses you and now he threathens to stalk me .we are not in relationship we are just friends , and now i dont know how to react ,is he playing a mind game with me ?
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on June 27, 2016:
You know what Tiana?
You might be right but then again, you and I know it's different strokes for different folks.
Some people like (playing) mind games; some don't.
Tiana on June 18, 2016:
No body has time for this. U could lose the spouse of your dreams , playing games... I know!!
Hil on June 10, 2016:
Most of these reasons for the actions are not the true underlying reasons. For instance, a man who gives the silent treatment to a woman isn't testing her. It's that he doesn't know how to show his anger. He's actually afraid of expressing anger (due to childhood trauma/difficult parent). And a man who is violent is not testing a woman either. That's just abuse of power. Additionally, suggesting women should "relax" and tolerate this sort of behavior (while remaining strong), while yes - would keep this man around - is not sane advice. A woman who see these things in a man should get out of the relationship. These are the signs of narcissism... find someone who's less scared of emotions, and more secure! That's the right advice!
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on May 03, 2016:
Mary, you are not a man so why would you know the ONLY reason for playing such games?
Anyway, that's your opinion.
Mary on May 03, 2016:
There is only one reason a man plays mind games, is called INSECURIGY. A man with healthy self esteem does not engage in such behavior. Study psychology and you will learn what's behind this behavior.
Disgusted on April 02, 2016:
What a huge stinking log of a shitty article. Any of these qualities are a red flag of the emotionally immature manipulator. If a woman or man observes this kind of behavior from their partner, RUN. Don't look back.
realtalk247 on March 10, 2016:
Good information. But don't forget to ask tricks are for kids. Sometimes creating issues and "testing" people will lead to others feeling you aren't able to address love/relationships in a mature manner.
Deborah Demander from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on January 22, 2016:
Interesting and insightful. I wouldn't waste much time on a guy like that. Not even if he was really, really great in bed.
Pearl Sepuya on December 18, 2015:
Very interesting and informative. Will be keeping one or two of these in mind