Mind Games Men Like Playing on Women

Updated on May 6, 2015
Mind games men like to play on women and how you can win them.
Mind games men like to play on women and how you can win them. | Source

Some men really love playing mind games on women. I know I do.

If you're wondering what a mind game is, they come in many forms but always involve one thing—sending mixed signals to toy with someone's emotions.

Why Do Men Play Mind Games?

If you suspect that your significant other may be playing one on you, all is not lost. Mind games are played for many reasons. If you understand how and why he is pushing you, you will be able to play the player at his own game and come out ahead. This article will list the reasons people play tricks, then explain the most common ones and how to win them. Here are the three main reasons people use deceitful ploys:

  1. The first reason why a man might play them is just to test his woman—her love, loyalty, emotional capability, understanding, and intelligence. Count me in.
  2. A man may also play them when he really wants to obtain something from his significant other and knows that the only way he can make her consider doing it is by messing with her emotions. These guys are what I call the real players. These real players or masters of the game have recognized how vulnerable emotions can make people, and they are using this shortcoming to their advantage.
  3. Yet other guys play games simply because—now, you must wait as I look over my shoulders to make sure no angry girl is close by because of what I am about to say next. Listen, a man may also be playing games simply because he knows it can be fun. Such a man may purposely stir the waters just to watch the fish react. Sometimes putting someone off balance can be satisfying. But hey—don’t say I told you so, because if you do, I will surely deny it!

Unfortunately, some people will not be able to see through these type of games. Playing with someone's emotions can even lead to fights, name-calling, breakups, divorce, and other things of that nature. So my advice to all my fellow mind-gamers is always that, although I know games can be mischievously fun, it's important to recognize when enough is enough and pull the plug before you cross that point of no return.

Mind Games and Their Hacks

Is he playing games with your emotions? When deceit enters a relationship, the stakes of every interaction raise drastically. Make sure not to do or say anything you will regret.
Is he playing games with your emotions? When deceit enters a relationship, the stakes of every interaction raise drastically. Make sure not to do or say anything you will regret. | Source

Are you interested in knowing how he could be springing that mind game on you?

Based off of my own experience, here are some flags:

1. Does He Make Unreasonable or Impossible Demands?

It normally happens without warning. All of a sudden he starts making unreasonable or impossible demands.

He might start suggesting and demanding that the two of you visit places or people he knows you don’t want to visit. He will start insisting that you watch his favorite TV sports program that he knows you don’t like.

He may even start preventing you from doing what you normally would—perhaps even not letting you leave the house.

Watch it, please, my dear girl. Don’t overreact, because he might just be testing you.

If he is, he is testing your will power, your resolve, your flexibility, and, most importantly, your strength.

If you really want to get into his heart, I believe this is the time to show him how understanding and diplomatic you can be.

Believe me when I say that if you pass this one test with me, you will have every reason to celebrate because you’ve just increased my trust in you, whether or not you realize it.

2. Did He Suddenly Stop Calling?

This can be quite frustrating for the girl. If a girl is really interested, she will normally have a strong emotional reaction to this type of psychological warfare.

Most girls will get worked up with fearful thoughts. A girl will start worrying and wondering if he is still interested, if he has seen or is seeing someone else, if he is in serious trouble, if he is ill, etc. Questions, questions, questions, with no answers, because the guy who is supposed to provide the answers is nowhere to be seen. He is not calling, and he is not answering calls.

Don’t get panicky, girlfriend, just look at everything in perspective. Think of it this way: Maybe he is trying to see how much you needed him or how much you will miss him if he is no longer there.

If this is the case, your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover.

3. Is He Giving You the Silent Treatment or Only Talking in Monosyllables?

Most women don’t like this. They enjoy steady conversation with their lovers, so once he starts going monosyllabic on her, she will immediately inquire whether there is a problem. Then he will respond in monosyllables or may even begin giving the silent treatment.

If this happens to you, know that he is fully aware that your mind will go spinning off the hook as you start wondering what you've done wrong.

Listen to me: Just relax.

Don’t panic or fall into the temptation of saying something terrible you might regret later. He is just testing your ability to endure. So prove that you can, and don't act needy, although it's important to let him know that you love him.

4. Has He Become Inexplicably Aggressive?

You start noticing that the nice guy you are used to has transformed into a violent stranger.

The aggression may not only be directed at you, but also at everybody nearby, creating an atmosphere of fear.

I know the situation is not funny. However, the purpose of this terrible ploy is not to hurt you but to test your bravery and tensile strength. He wants to see how much shock you can withstand. Nobody needs a coward as a mate.

Even though your partner may not want to admit it, most men need to know that you are that someone who can actually stand up to them and call them to order at the times they need it the most. Doing so successfully will prove you are a strong and fearless woman.

5. Does He Refuse to Give You Compliments?

This is one way to get a girl, any girl, to boil. Women love to be complimented, and they don’t hide the fact. (Actually, I think men love compliments even more than women, but while men are expected to keep this desire on the low, women aren't.)

Women love to be told how good-looking, pretty, and beautiful they are. Is that not why they generally spend so much time in front of mirrors and at the beautician’s or hair salon?

So after a woman has laboriously made herself up, she loves to hear her man say he likes the end results. The same goes for her cooking, sense of fashion, and even lovemaking skills. Women love those words—those sweet nothings.

And what does he do? He acts as if he didn't notice anything. Almost as if she did not exist!

If this happens to you, you can be sure he's watching your frustration build. You may even be tempted to start throwing a tantrum—which would be playing into his hands. He is testing you to find your breaking point. He wants to see if you're normal—after all, it is only human to get desire acknowledgement—but he also wants to see if you can handle it when someone does not give you the expected response.

6. Is He Comparing You to Others, Your Sister, or Your Friend?

This is the worst form of all the mind games he can ever play with a girl.

By comparing her with others in a negative light, he is using the most destructive means to point out her shortcomings and faults. We know that our faults are what makes us human, but when a person deliberately forces his significant other to take another look at herself in such a deriding manner, he is sending an entirely different and more terrible message altogether.

Whether he is actually trying to correct his girlfriend's faults or telling her that he can’t live with her anymore, the bottom line is that he purposely gets her agitated by implying that he thinks those other people are better than her.

If this is happening to you, listen up. You might want to retaliate by revealing or telling him things to prove that those people are not as great as he thought they were.

But before you do something like that, think again. Don't let him provoke you into saying ugly, malicious, and revealing things about other people too easily. If you do, it may show that you are ready to throw people who made the "terrible mistake" of confiding in you under the bus. He may also think that such a reaction goes to show how you might talk about him the day the chips are down.

Besides, he might be really interested in getting you to change for the better. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But sometimes, it is only true friends who can tell you that type of truth—he may want you to know that he is indeed a true friend.

7. Is He Flirting with Other Girls?

Mind-gamers know that women are always watching out for those tendencies toward straying that men normally display even unconsciously.

And so what does a mind-gamer do? Of course, he sends you those signals! Such a guy will flirt and flirt and flirt just to make sure that you get the message that he may be interested in others more than you.

There are three reasons he may be doing this, and I am afraid to say them, as they are not exactly what you are going to want to hear:

  1. He may be flirting with others in order to stoke your latent jealousy and make you more interested in him.
  2. He could be flirting for fun now just to test the waters and see what your reaction would be like should he on one bright tempting day forget his boundaries and actually take things too far with another girl.
  3. He could also be doing it to send you the unspoken message that he is planning on calling it quits, and when he does, he will say that it is because he can no longer cope with your possessiveness.

If it is for the first reason, you just have to show him the love. That is what he really wants—for you to demonstrate that you really want him.

If it is for the second reason, you just go ahead and call him to order by letting him know that even though you know he thinks he is having fun now, that there is a limit to that that rubbish you can stomach. I bet you he will be shocked to find out that you know the game, and this will definitely make him man up at once. This will also show that you are intelligent, understanding, caring, responsible, and still interested.

Let’s pray it will never be for the third reason. If so, there's not much you can do except examine whether you truly are clingy or if it's just his excuse for breaking up. If you're actually being overly possessive, you should be ready to do something about that habit, since it is a turn-off for most men.

8. Is He Becoming Secretive?

Suddenly, you notice your man is becoming more and more secretive.

If a man is engaging in this type of psychological warfare, there are many ways he could he could go about it.

He might start by refusing to answer some of your questions. He might stop sharing thoughts with you and start preferring to be on his own. He might start appearing distant and forgetful. These actions all are meant to signify a lack of interest in you.

True mind-gamers know that this strategy works like magic if the woman in question is really interested, because her significant other's withdrawal will cause her to become more interested in him and his affairs. The doubts and suspicions he has created in her mind will make her worried, and she will work to find out what is wrong.

As with other mind games, purposely creating doubt can allow the mind gamer to find out about how she will react if she ever hears something not-so-great about him.

If your man is playing this trick on you, he wants to see for himself whether he can trust you. He wants to know how you react to gossip and hearsay. He is interested to know if you can actually think for yourself and discern the truth by separating the facts from the chaff of any circulating rumors you might hear about him.

Any interested lady will want to know what is going on with her man. She will try to prove the unspoken message that she couldn't handle what's going on with him wrong by showing him how loyal she can be. In the process, she might even reveal something secret about herself that he never knew—which might even be the reason he launched this type of mind game in the first place.

She will demand almost to the point of going hysteric that he tells her everything that is troubling or bothering him. And then, he will be convinced that she is seriously concerned.

But on the contrary, if she does not show any sign of concern, he will get the message that she doesn't care, which means she’s anything but loyal or trustworthy!

So be careful how you respond to this type of mind game. Show support without giving away your own secrets. One wrong move and you can come off as cold or as someone he cannot depend on.

However, it might also be a good time to review your future plans together to see if you are still featurin’.

9. Has He Become Disinterested in Sex?

One weapon women have over men is in sex. Men are insatiable—often even hard feelings, arguments, and contempt will not prevent them from wanting to get it on.

To them, it’s just physical.

So when your guy who used to be all over you in the bedroom suddenly develops this inexplicable lack of sexual interest in you, something must be amiss.

He'll expect that you will be worried and ask him about it. If you do, it will show that you are observant and interested in suggestions for how to fix the problem. This will be a big plus for you in his book. If you don't, he may think that you don't care enough to put his needs first.

Your Opinion

If someone is playing mind games on you, is he worth it?

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Last Word

Some people, in fact many people, hate the idea of someone playing mind games with them. They might feel as though they are being used as pawns in such games.

Which might be true or not.

Besides, it is understandable to not like mind games, because they are very risky games to play. You may never be able to decipher what he is playing at, and that means that one wrong move could cause the whole cookie that is your relationship to start to crumble.

So you should be on the lookout for some of these signs and master how to counterattack using the potent gift of female intuition.

Always remember that mind games are normally launched without prior warning. So that is one very easy way to determine if and when the heat is on. When you notice a sudden change in his behavior towards you, that is when you should tighten your seatbelt and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster.

The key is never to say or do anything that you might regret. Always bear in mind that sometimes, some (wicked) men are just looking for ridiculous excuses to break up. Please don't give him one real reason now.

However, as unbelievable or as funny as it may sound to you, I also fully believe that playing mind games can be used to cement a relationship and make it stronger. This is because psychological warfare can serve as an avenue to enable you to know who you are dealing with in the relationship. When both players play well, they can grow to respect each other's strength, grace, and diplomacy under duress.

Oh, and I almost forgot, mind games can also be fun because they provide the lovebirds with something to talk, joke, and laugh about later—maybe after a bout of wonderful make-up sex!

Have You Ever Been Gamed?

If someone has played on of the mind tricks on you, which one was it?

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What Do You Think Is the Best Way to Deal with a Player?

What do you do when you realize you're being played?

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      Dolores 6 weeks ago

      I don't have time for bullshit, he text everyday all suddenly, he stop. And then text me back again. I don't chase no men. Men don't understand , when I woman been hurt, they become a stone, hard heart. Only a real man or a woman can soften a broken heart. Hopefully he find the right one. If he wanted to be in my life, show me. I'm too old for bullshit.. Sorry but that's the truth..

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      Lynn 2 months ago

      Game is most likely to escalate physical violence when your pregnant, grieving, or sick. Try not to let him know your sick or in a pain. Just stone wall and lie and say your hair resting. I don’t mean don’t rest, but don’t tell him, WHY, your resting. He doesn’t need to know you’re in pain so he escalate his abuse/game until you magically make it all fine again, by not being sick anymore. Just.dont.tell.him.

      4) Hide your weakness. If you want him to do something, or not do something, and you can’t do anything about it, don’t tell him not to. He just learns your weak and easy pray. Instead make you’re rules inside yourself. When you are in a position where you have more power, then you can actually say “if you do X, I’ll do Y” and back it. But until then bite your tongue and work in getting in a position to do Y.

      5) Don’t talk about boundaries with these people. Here’s why. They see boundaries as a challenge. If you say “don’t call me a bitch” he will just do it over and over again as much as possible to prove your wrong. If you tell him what you’ll do about him calling you a bitch, leave for a few hours for example, he’ll just sabotage you and call you a butch when it’s hard for you to leave. Instead don’t tell him why, or what you’ll do if he calls you a bitch. Just hang up if your own the phone. Just pack of the kids and leave. If you can’t leave put in some earbuds and park the kids in front of a project the TV.

      5) If you can’t leave, (no money to move out, young children, no job, no chilscare, threat of taking the kids back to his home country and unwilling to leave them with strangers was my situation) then try stonewalling. Now this won’t work with somebody who is violent. But AA has a saying. Don’t argue with a drunk. They also have a saying. When the codependent, the person putting up with game, starts resisting and making their own decisions, the gamer will fight back. They will demand and explanation and justification for their actions. To avoid all these questions and being analyzed and picked apart, repeat the same thing over and over again. This could be no, or I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve used “we’ll talk about it in the morning” to diffuse arguments and demands from an angry drunk playing games. Just go flat, don’t act scared or angry or upset and repeat some bland statement like, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “not right now” or “I already made my decision” or “no”. Eventually the gamer will get bored and give up and go away. First the gamer will get angry, then sad, then angry, then try to pretend it’s all okay, and hug you and give up and laugh it off. Now at this point they may back downs, but at this point it’s been an hour. You can take the surrender or keep stonewalling. It’s really liberating when you finally get enough guts to not make up and laugh it off because while cutting you down is a great game for him, it doesn’t work out so well for you. But eventually he will get bored, give up, and move on to something else.

      6) There are certain situations where it’s very hard to avoid the games. Basically any emotionally intense one on one interactions, and most of these gamer types appreciate and audiance aonyou may end up with someone who will refuse to be alone with you, but wants to fight in front of the kids. This is another reason the broken record technique and stonewalling help. If de-escalated things and keeps you from getting into volatile dangerous likely to get violent screaming matches, and it keeps things clean on your end at least if not on his. But you have to be outwardly calm. Don’t worry about what you actually feel. You can be afraid, panicked, angry and heartbroken just don’t say it, and don’t cry if you can help it, and don’t start screaming. Just stay deadpan and focused: “no” “I don’t want to talk about it”.

      7) There is physical maneuvering to this too. Don’t get in the car with a gamer. Don’t eat a meal with a gamer and if you do get lost in your phone. Put the kids in front of the TV or feed them at a different time to avoid the interactions and game between you and the man in your relationship. That stuff is horrible for kids and screws them up. Family meals aren’t helping when dad is using the 3 year old as a mouth piece to talk to mommy while giving mommy the silent treatment. Just find a way to keep them out of if. This manuevering especially with kids is complicated and requires a bit of creativity. If you go anywhere as a family, make sure he drives his car or doesn’t come, and you have transportation for you and the kids.

      8) You know the things the game tells you about you? Yeah well he tells everyone else that too. And people believe him because, why would a man say such things about his wife and why would you stay if it wasn’t? If you want to stop this, well you can’t stop the gamer he’s not only gaming to game you, he’s gaming to make everyone else, including the kids, to cut you down and dislike you too. If you want to innoculate OTHER people against this, be openly adversarial. Do not play happy family. Admit that there is bad blood. There are ways of doing this and you will have to take responsibility for his behavior because we live in a culture where it’s unacceptable for women to blame men for men’s behavior. But, this is for random bystanders. You aren’t trying to get them on your side. They don’t want to get involved. All you are doing is warning them that there is bad blood between you and a gamer. Things like “we have a difficult marriage” “we don’t communicate well” “we have a very strained relationship” can let the other people know that you and him don’t get along. So...if you say “we have a difficult marriage” and he says your an evil blank blank blank whose having a sordid affair, and goes on about it for an hour, who looks like the nut? It’s not you.

      9) Cut off sex. No don’t explain just do it. You will be infinity thousand times happier when you don’t have that gamer violating your body several times a week/month. Poor little him I know. Nothing matters more than men and their dick. Except the kids you can’t parent cause you have no patience, or support because your hair triggered and reactive all the time, or your safety which means you have to not be volatile when HE is volatile so this doesn’t get violent. Sex is glue. It’s like hormonal crack. You do not need to be glued to this guy.

      10) Exposure to game will make you an awful person. It’s not you. It’s a natural reaction to having the person who “loves” you and “made a life” and “had a family” with your cut you down constantly to you and anyone else who will listen. It’s a natural reaction to constantly changing and impossible demands. The constant thinking of “great is he about to blow a gasket and kill me” will do it. The gaming and manuevinf necessary to counter him will do it. Work your ass off to regain your self worth, dignity, and self respect. Guard and protect and nurture your softness and kindness and those tendencies in your children. That will be your saving grace.Know it’s okay to be hurt and angry and often it’s the only sane response to the way your being treated. Take things on faith that it will get better and not always be like this and keep moving towards the door.

      Eventually you will get out. Eventually his is going to get bored and abandon you and the kids. Just don’t leave them, try to build yourself up as much as possible, detach from him as much as possible, let the kids get whatever good they can from a relationship with him and avoid him the rest of the time, try to get as independent of him as possible and try to build yourself up as much as possible. It will get better, just pace yourself, and keep going. When you fail, and you will, pick it up, and remember this effort is for you, not to prove anything with him, just keep going.

      And if this sounds like a boring stupid wreck of a marriage yup, it is. That’s why gamers are best avoided. The game has no limits and they never do get a grip and they just always offer up more angst drama and insecurity. They never calm down and relax. Not.worth.it.

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      Lynn 2 months ago

      Am I interested? Not really. Look, a certain amount of this testing each other out is normal enough. The mindgames, mindfuckery Id call it, not the cheating is the damaging part of the affair.

      But, hey, if you can’t trust someone how can you rely on them? More important how can you trust them with your child? We are now debating the rights of men to force pregnant women to live in a certain area so the man can control the child.

      I’m a huge proponent of not sharing custody with men. Be a single mother by choice. The man you love can still be the biological father, but, if done through proper and medical legal channels, he has no custody rights to the children. Which means when this becomes an issue instead of being strung around in endless loops of ever increasing bullshit you can actually take your children and leave. You can protect them.

      Don’t think for one second that men who mindfuck don’t focus most of their mindfucks in the children. Why? It’s the easiest target that’s why.

      Also don’t assume that mindfuckers don’t mindfuck anyone important in their lives. As a wife or lover their is nothing special about you, and these people will mindfuck your children too.

      Look, have sex, have relationships with men if you like, but remember men are generally not good people who think they should be capable of being trusted. Men see people who trust as weak and stupid and deserving of what they get. The other kind will go to extreme lengths to make it obvious you can trust them, be offended when you don’t without reason, and roll their eyes at the idea that people have to act believable and keep their word if they want to be believed, because none of us is knows everything.

      The easiest way to eliminate mindfuckery from your life is to eliminate men who aren’t close blood relatives from your life as much as possible. Obviously you will still have male neighbors, and aquaintances, but keep things light breezy and distant with coworkers.

      Male friends? Unless this is one of those rare friendships going back to early adolescence or childhood where the thought of sex with you makes him ill, then no he is not your friend. Friendship is what men call friendzoning-it means his manipulation tactic to get into your pants didn’t work.

      Have your fun, but keep your finances, and children, and home out of it.

      Don’t share custody, or pool money, or live with me.

      Men in sexless marriages like to say they are like roommates.

      Men in sexless marriages like to say women should have sex when they don’t want to because men go to work as a favor for the women when the men don’t want to. This applies to parenting and housework and any other area of adulting.

      Since when was supporting yourself, raising your kids, and a favor you did for other people?

      Since men saw marriage as a ticket out of adulting and a free ride through life on a woman’s back.

      This is a damn near universal attitude among even liberally raised Western men and why looking resources with men outside of strict formal business dealings should be avoided like the plague it is.

      Honestly I’m not sure about business dealings given #Metoo, but my dealings were personal so I won’t say it.

      Anyway, keep your money and home out of it but DO NOT SHARE CUSTODY.

      Look people, the time and place for mindgames is either very early on when your first interested and feeling each other out, or in causal sex, fuck buddy, fling, summer romance, throw away type relations where the stakes are low because the relationships are transitory and disposable.

      Once you start having sex with feelings involved, intended or not, get into a relationship based on more than ego convenience fun and maybe fucking, then this is the point to cut off the relationships or the mindgames. HELL YES. IF YOU CANT FACE IT THIS IS THE TIME FOR GHOSTING.

      Decades into a marriage, or after kids God forbid IS NOT TIME FOR MINDFUCKERY. Divorce is also not the time for mindfuckery because your feelings are no longer your spouse business and vice versa. Split the crap, work out daycare and living arrangements and set up a schedule for the kids. This should take six months max. It’s not that damn hard...if both people will act like grown ups.

      I can hear the men now....but what if a woman did blah blah blah. Meh. Count yourself lucky you don’t have to worry about her blowing a gasket and killing you or raping you or the kids. Serious physical injury, death, rape, and coercive control are the domain of women, so quit sniveling about her responsibility for your hurt feelings cause everyone gets hurt feelings and get on with your life. She won’t strangle you or put a gun to your head so you don’t actually HAVE to do anything. But THE KIDS THE KIDS THE KIDS!!!!1! What about the kids? Is she molesting them? No. Beating them? No. Neglecting them? Probably not. So make a fucking schedule, get off your ass and parent, eat crow cause the only parent who bonds with children biologically and invests the majority of time and resources statistically doesn’t owe you anything anymore. Is this a major custody decision? No? Then shut up and get on with it.

      Yes well how would you feel if he did blah blah blah. Like shit, but legally motherhood means nothing more that fatherhood, so I can’t do anything about it.

      What if he did this or didn’t tell you about blah blah blah during his parenting time? Well, see he lies so much I wouldn’t believe him anyway. Sometimes the kids tell me, but I don’t like grilling them or using them as messagers so I try to stay or if it.

      I can tell you how to deal with a bully. You stand up to them and never show weakness. Ideally this is like the 1950s idea where one 8 year is bullying another eight year old. Eventually the bullied child screws up his courage, they fight behind the school, and even though he looses the bullied kid lands one on the bullied nose. The bully realizes bullied kid just like him, and respects him because he stuck up for himself. He apologizes or acknowledges the other kid, they become friends and everybody rides off into the sunset happily ever after. Ideally this is what happens. And, were kids taught to fight back it would probably work, but they aren’t anymore.

      With adults however this won’t work. So with adults you have to use a different strategy.

      1) Never tell these people your feelings. If they don’t know your feelings they can’t find the soft spots to stick the knife in. It’s amazing how game stops working once you stop confiding in somebody so they know how to cut you down.

      2) Never tell them what your plans are. Why? What they don’t know won’t hurt you. Are you legally required to give this person the information? No? Then they don’t need to know it. But that’s not fair it’s his life too. Well...you can tell him your applying for a new job and he can show up at your interview and make a scene or you can keep your mouth shut and get the job. You can tell him you asked the neighbor to watch the kids, and he can tell her how your so lazy and evil and you just want her to watch the kids you can cheat on him, or you can keep your mouth shut about what your doing and where you go and who watches the kids during the day, and have daycare so you can go to that job. Which one do you want? Well why doesn’t he just watch the kids? Because he’s not going to cut back his work hours to parent so you can make money, (or share the money he makes with you without major arm twisting) or pay for daycare either. If he says he’ll watch the kids so you can go to a job interview he’ll, just bail on you at the last minute so you can’t go. That’s one employer who will never hire you. And guess who won that “game”? How much of this stupid do you want to play? Keep your mouth shut.

      3) Medical stuff is sacrosanct. These men will often panic and get very scared if their security blanket/verbal punching bag, is broken. So they will go at you and attack you verbally (and maybe physically) until you are fine again. Don’t let them come to the doctor with you, show that you are in pain, or see your weakness.

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      Sherry Myers. 3 months ago

      First of I had A Guy That was a Player and yes I was attracted to him.But At the time I was taken.He tried to get me to cheat on my other didn' T work because .I Already Knew His Game.I Didn' t Give Into Having Sex With Him.Its A Good Thing Bbecause 2 yrs later my other dies. So I Have A Clean Conscience.And 1. I Beat This Player At his Own Game .Once You Give It To Him.HE WILL WRING YOU OUT LIKE A DIRTY DISH RAG. FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. " You Beat Him At His Own Game. That's How These Sick Players Work. They Only Want Sex And That s It.. So Be Strong And Do Not Give In Not Even One Time. You Will Feel Better In The End.

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      Barbara 4 months ago

      I love reading I'm going through this crap with my husband, I'm sick of it, this helps me thanks

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      Allie 4 months ago

      The "aggressive" section of the article through me over the edge. How about men learn to respect the woman they have, or remain single until they grow the hell up!

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      Dina 5 months ago

      Ridiculous article, sounds like a man looking for a doormat. Putting someone on hold, on a hook, withholding a person emotionally, this is to me comes across as way of control and manipulation, this is not healthy at all. If I can't communicate clearly, straight forward, sincerely, openly, honesty about what is going on in my life at the moment then that means I am not ready to enter a relationship. I first need to do some growing on my own before bringing a human being down with me. I don't play games. I don't tolerate it either.

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      lily 5 months ago

      When two people get together usually the game between them happen whether they like it or not. Obviously or not obviously. That is one aspect to learn from each other to grow together and also to see who is the ALPHA who is the BETA. But it is how it rolls - who is the dominant and who is not or in some aspects one is Alpha other is Beta and vice versa. So I can see how this happen. It's part of being human. Not a surprise to me when reading this article.

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      Libra Doll 7 months ago

      Woman are emotional creatures; men are not. I think when it comes to their feelings for a women they have no clue what they are feeling or why. Their hearts is telling them one thing, their mind is telling them another and their gut has a third answer. Sometimes the games may not be intentional - it's just they don't know what the heck to do with the feelings they are having. Men listen up - just face the fact you're interested and just ask the girl out and get on with something. Leaving us hanging and confused does nothing but piss us off!!!

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      Brelyn 7 months ago

      A guy who pushes a girl away when she has told him she wants to be with him is testing her to see is really wants him in her life and what move she will do next. As far as playing mind games that can really hurt someone's self esteem and shouldn't be used.

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      Interested 7 months ago

      Just swap all of the above to the other gender, and think of how it would be revived by men...

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      AuroraTheGreat 8 months ago

      I always surprise these losers. They start catching feels for me so they start playing games because they can't handle it. They're always afraid that I'll upgrade on them so they try to shake me up with their baby games. Then they wonder why I upgrade on them. Self fulfilling prophecy. First I have fun with them and wait for them to wait for my reaction. It's so much fun to watch them panic in wonder if they're going to lose me. Then they start posting memes on Facebook about how women are whack. It's so much fun to watch them go through it hehehehehe!!!

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      Nope 10 months ago

      Narcissism plain and simple.

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      Ann 10 months ago

      I would like to point out that not allowing a partner to leave the house is a sign of domestic violence

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      Debbie. E ray 10 months ago

      Well last night I text u rc an somebody text me back an say who is this so what does that mean

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      Nefer 12 months ago

      So basically, these are all ridiculous. I don't mean the article is, but the idea that any relationship should have to go through these steps. If you're a man or woman that feels the need to "test" their partner in these moronic ways, you aren't mature enough to have a partner.

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      SableCharms 12 months ago

      Hey, you'll just dismiss this but I thought you should know, much of what you have listed here is GASLIGHTING, that is, EMOTIONAL ABUSE.

      That is not my opinion, it's fact.

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      SableCharms 12 months ago

      SO men really are manipulative assholes. Great. I can't trust any of them, no way of knowing if they're just trying to mess with me or if they're a genuine, decent person. Very sad to learn how truly manipulative men are.

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      Marie 12 months ago

      Games are definitely par for the course now, but you wouldn't think that any male over the age of 40 would be trying to run game.

      I was reading your list to see if I missed anything, being that I dismissed him this week before seeing him again.

      He put the "s" in shady. I don't know what his real situation is, but he'd always say it was work. I guess that's what he called her - work.

      Anytime a male is not responsive after a certain time or can solely be reached by text. I know many solely rely on text, but that's how somerun game.

      I could tell this one was complacent and used to females catering to him. I know he wanted the cookie, but I don't trust him, so that was never going to happen.

      I blocked all means of contact as I don't like liars and I do believe he is a liar. Now I need to block his boy who is following m on ig too.

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      12 months ago

      Amongst intelligent people, this is referred to as abusive bullshit.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 12 months ago from Nigeria


      The truth is that different people react in different ways.

      What works on one person may never work on the other person.

      The key is to know who you're dealing with.

      Anyway, in my own opinion, reacting poorly is acting as if you didn't notice any change in the behaviour of your partner towards you.

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      THold 13 months ago

      I realize this article is aging, but I just happened upon it and appreciated the forthcoming insight. Question though: As an educated man who isn't above 'playing games':-) how would a woman who valued herself and the man, respond when he disappears or suddenly stops calling? You say: "your behavior now can either make things worse or better for you. He wants to see how interested and committed you are, and whether or not you are suspicious. My advice is never to panic or overreact. Keep your head to avoid sending the wrong message. Instead, communicate that he is important to you and that you will be supportive, but you won't be a pushover."

      I am interested in your insight, and opinion on what you feel should be said or done in this situation that can 'make or break it?' What is to be said or done that shows you are supportive, but not a pushover?

      There are so many differing views. What do you feel is 'reacting poorly?' Some say to avoid and initiate 'no contact' just like the game player, others say voice your feelings, while others say to let them know you accept their need for space.

      And I must add, while people love to hate the player, but even the haters participate and fall in love with the game....otherwise relationships wouldn't have the push/pull.


    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 13 months ago from Nigeria

      @Brian C U HERE


      I liked your story.

      Women over analyse way too much and that's probably the reason why it's so easy to play mind games on them.

      @Priscilla sultana

      Thanks Priscilla for reading.

      I'm glad you found it helpful.

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      Priscilla sultana 13 months ago

      It was very helpful thankyou

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      Mer mer 13 months ago

      This sounds like psychological abuse 101. Not cool.

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      Brian C U HERE 14 months ago

      Ok girlfriends, I'm a very luck guy, most of my friends are women. I am not gay. But women way over analyze. Here is a very good example of what is usually going on.

      Her Diary:

      Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

      We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

      He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

      He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep — I cried.

      I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

      My life is a disaster.

      His Diary:

      Motorcycle won't start...can't figure out why.

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      woman 14 months ago

      Smh ...wow

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 15 months ago from Nigeria

      Oh my!

      Is that why you are now Single-For-Ever?

      At 29 years, methinks that a wrong decision 'cause you've still a load of some more useful years ahead to enjoy your life!

      Ha ha ha...

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      Singleforeva29 15 months ago

      These types of passages make me upset cuz they are all true. Only difference is my little guy friend likes to play the reverse psychology game with me and all of a sudden give me a silent treatment no calls no nothing. And then im sitting there trying to figure out what i did wrong meanwhile hes really the one in his feelings because hes trying to do what he wants to do to make me upset but deep down trying to make himself feel like a mack smh

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 15 months ago from Nigeria

      @Only South Africans:

      Your views, though...


      Your views, though...

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      Deb 15 months ago

      Mind games are dangerous stupid and cowardly.

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      Angie 15 months ago

      My man sent me a song by Julio Iglesias to old the girls I've loved before. Is he breaking up with me

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      Shantanell 16 months ago

      Great article

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 17 months ago from Nigeria

      I'm glad you liked it, Wahida.

      Thanks for reading.

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      SL 17 months ago

      When a guy plays mind games, I feel confused and stressed out and I don't trust him emotionally anymore.

      I don't want to stick around and take more hurtful tests. At that point the guy has either come across as scary or emotionally abusive.

    • Suffragette profile image

      Suffragette 18 months ago

      My advice to anyone who is dating someone who plays mind games is to run! Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction because this person will destroy you and everything you are. Only give your heart to those who respect you and are worthy of it. I was in this position and it showed it's ugly head 11 months into what carried on to be a 5 year relationship from hell. Out of it last February and I'm only just started to feel my normal self again.

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      Annie Won 18 months ago

      I grew up around manipulative people (which, let's face it, is what you are if you play "mind games"), so I can spot an attempt at manipulation a mile away. I saw people I loved being manipulated into doing things they didn't want to by others who were SUPPOSED to love them...and I HATED it. In fact, I even inherited the trait, and have to work extra hard NOT to use it. Regardless of the source, whenever I see someone trying to manipulate me (person, media, etc.), I shut it down QUICK. If a guy I was interested in even STARTED to play a mind game, we'd be done on the SPOT. Life's too short to waste on little BOYS who only know how to PLAY. Ain't nobody got time for that.

      I didn't date around a lot before I got married (thank God!), so I didn't have to deal with crappy men like this (the kind described in the article), but what it really boils down to is the Golden Rule. Would YOU want it done to you? Not would you "mind" or would you think it's "fair," but would you WANT someone to treat you that way? If the answer is "no," (and for most people, if they're HONEST, it WOULD be), then don't treat others that way. It's freaking SIMPLE. Why the heck would you expect someone to treat you BETTER than you treat them...? Because you think you can get away with it? I guarantee you someday you'll encounter that special someone who makes you wanna drop all your games and just have an honest relationship...and then you'll realize YOU got played, and it'll finally sink in. YOU did that to countless others, and it was "okay," but now suddenly it's not...? You might tell yourself you can "respect the game" they played on you, but at the end of the day, you KNOW what they did was WRONG.

      BTW, when I say "you," I don't mean specifically the author, just "a person." I suppose I could use the term "one" (as in, "one will realize one got played"), but that's a little...sterile, a little impersonal. Any CHILD thinking to play with a woman's (or man's) heart needs to realize that what may be a "game" to them could have devastating effects on someone who's SINCERE, something they clearly have no ability to grasp.

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      anonymous 18 months ago

      Pure and simple, these are all examples of abuse. It's all a sickening, sad, pathetic, insiduous self serving and weak ploy. Men who play such games shouldn't be allowed on the field. A strong, assertive, self-aware and healthy woman would not put up with any of it. The End.

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      NoTimeForIt 18 months ago

      Grown people have no business playing childish games with a person's emotions. The best way to deal with a person who plays The Game like this is to never get involved with them in the first place. The whole, "Lets just go with the flow" is sheer

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      Vera 19 months ago

      So in other words, you're an abusive boyfriend. Cunt.

      If a man can't just get it over with an fuck me already, he'll be sitting on the curb with yesterday's trash. I'm a busy woman with no patience for bullshit.

      Instead of trying to get her to show you some devotion, why not show HER some? All take and no give... shit heel.

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      Manic Depressive 20 months ago

      Let us PLAY... Overall, we all know it is JUST a game... I'm always in, but I'm always a loner... The real struggle for mind games is what if they both really start to grow feelings for each other? Will it still be a game? It's the stage where complexity begins...

      A Professional Con Artist

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 20 months ago from Nigeria

      Hi there reza.

      I don't like the way it sounds at all.

      Your boyfriend seems to be the controlling and jealous type.

      And trust me, with time, you will find out the whole relationship is gonna engulf you, that is, if it hasn't already.

      I suggest you talk to him. Let him know that his suspicions and constant poke nosing is killing you. The earlier you do that, the better for you.

      Controlling and jealous men can be very dangerous and if care is not taken, out of so much fear of him, you might find out that you cannot even separate from him, even if you want to...

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      reza 20 months ago

      my boyfriend doesnt play mind games. He's just too difficult. He loves me, he is a child at heart who loves to be pampered with love now and then, but sometimes his need for pamper takes a toll on me. Sometimes I hate to let him know every little detail bcoz i like a sense of freedom. Its very subtle which he thinks if I dont give him those little details, I have something to hide, as if I don't love him as much as he does. I love him but I dont like him to be putting his nose into every little detail. He would care to to which people, especially guys that I talk when we are in a long distance. I do tell him most things but he wants me to be online and update him with my whereabouts regularly through social media/chat. How do I tell him that I love him and I also have to stay busy through the day. We dont have to break up only because we are far away and busy. How do I let him know that we must not compromise our careers and have faith, because a greater degree of online engagement will not only hamper my career but his too.

      P.S. we both are enrolled into different business schools, so we don't get much time to talk for long hours even if we want to.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 20 months ago

      Once someone picks up that a person is like that they should leave them in the dust where they belong. They don't respect themselves.

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      Paulina 20 months ago

      I'm 39 yrs old, and I'm 4ft 8 inches tall. So I get mistaken for a young person, and I find that young men play this game where they stare at you, and it seems like they expect you to notice them back. I'm sure it's a game they're playing. Secondly I don't care to be around young people, and none of the guys from my generation ever did things like that. So I find it strange that today's younger generation thinks it's okay to play this type of game.

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      joe 21 months ago

      nice article just this video out to understand the 3 main reasons why women play drama


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      Lisa 21 months ago

      Women this is a curse to shut up your worn, men are clueless on these facts because they don't give birth. Stay away from guys who does this is a lack of respect for any woman and young adult worn. They have no idea it causing stress and my best friend lost a baby due to these same sick actions, Africa men play well these games, due to it their culture to see women and young adults as objects but clueless to the harm it causing, destroying their own women and God's health way of carrying her baby....CURSE!!!!!! Be Love and do so and you will reap what u sow.

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      Lisa 21 months ago

      My doctor said anyone playing with your emotions, stay away from them it can cause miscarriage, still births....They are messing with those same emotions you use to connect with your baby in your worn, stay away from fools. This is the way God make it to communicate with your baby in your stomach.......mind games stress the worn out and cause early births, even when your not with the guy any longer.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 21 months ago from Nigeria

      @Sara: I don't know if he's playing mind games with you or not, although to be frank with you, it sounds more like a threat to me.

      @Anna: Your opinion, though.

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      sara 21 months ago

      We started to chat onlion we were good friends but suddenly he started to say things like i wanna control you and now he threatens to stalk me .how should i deal with him

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      Anna 21 months ago

      This is nonsense. Anybody who would be deliberately deceitful to someone just to see how they react doesn't deserve to keep that someone. And nobody should put up with any of that crap. You don't have to be in such a hurry to see what's inside somebody. If they trust you they'll show you. If you play games to get it they'll never trust you like they would otherwise. And you don't deserve their trust. If you want to know who somebody is wait for the circumstances of life to bring it out, don't manufacture your own.

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      sara 21 months ago

      I started to chat with a guy onlion and now its over a year .he suddeny said stuff like i wanna control you ,posses you and now he threathens to stalk me .we are not in relationship we are just friends , and now i dont know how to react ,is he playing a mind game with me ?

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 22 months ago from Nigeria

      You know what Tiana?

      You might be right but then again, you and I know it's different strokes for different folks.

      Some people like (playing) mind games; some don't.

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      Tiana 22 months ago

      No body has time for this. U could lose the spouse of your dreams , playing games... I know!!

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      Hil 22 months ago

      Most of these reasons for the actions are not the true underlying reasons. For instance, a man who gives the silent treatment to a woman isn't testing her. It's that he doesn't know how to show his anger. He's actually afraid of expressing anger (due to childhood trauma/difficult parent). And a man who is violent is not testing a woman either. That's just abuse of power. Additionally, suggesting women should "relax" and tolerate this sort of behavior (while remaining strong), while yes - would keep this man around - is not sane advice. A woman who see these things in a man should get out of the relationship. These are the signs of narcissism... find someone who's less scared of emotions, and more secure! That's the right advice!

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 23 months ago from Nigeria

      Mary, you are not a man so why would you know the ONLY reason for playing such games?

      Anyway, that's your opinion.

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      Mary 23 months ago

      There is only one reason a man plays mind games, is called INSECURIGY. A man with healthy self esteem does not engage in such behavior. Study psychology and you will learn what's behind this behavior.

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      Disgusted 2 years ago

      What a huge stinking log of a shitty article. Any of these qualities are a red flag of the emotionally immature manipulator. If a woman or man observes this kind of behavior from their partner, RUN. Don't look back.

    • realtalk247 profile image

      realtalk247 2 years ago

      Good information. But don't forget to ask tricks are for kids. Sometimes creating issues and "testing" people will lead to others feeling you aren't able to address love/relationships in a mature manner.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 2 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Interesting and insightful. I wouldn't waste much time on a guy like that. Not even if he was really, really great in bed.

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      Pearl Sepuya 2 years ago

      Very interesting and informative. Will be keeping one or two of these in mind

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      Ritah 2 years ago

      The problem is still going on I am afraid. A man I met a couple of weeks ago have texted me and very intensely so, just to suddenly disappear in thin air. He did send me a text saying "I am not going to respond to any text or mails for a week. This bothers me because we are supposed to go on a week end trip in a week, and now I am unsure about what to do.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 2 years ago from Nigeria

      You know what, Ginger? After taking some considerable time to look at the whole picture, I'll say that you are right.

      There's nothing funny about playing mind games.



      I've repented.

      No more mind games.

      Ha ha ha ha...

      No, no, no, seriously...

      No more mind games!!!

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      Ginger 2 years ago

      There is another word for what you're describing, it's called abuse. There's nothing funny about it.

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      interesting 2 years ago

      I read all of the comments and it wasn't just women who disagreed with you there were men also. However, you wouldn't understand their position because you are from a 3rd world country Nigeria. Your country is behind developed countries in different areas including women's rights. Although there are men in America who would practice your suggestions most of the women wouldn't stand for it. Also, many men here wouldn't either. Especially, since we've had a feminist movement here that lobbied for the rights of women and brought the emotional, physical, and mental abuse of women to the light. I don't know if your country has been through that. You probably don't even know what emotional abuse is. Because if you did, you would clearly see that many of the "games" mentioned in your article follows under that category.

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      Galyna Lendel 2 years ago

      It's not bad!

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 2 years ago from Nigeria

      Well, S, all I can say is that not everything a man does to you should be seen as mind games.

      In fact, one of the easiest ways to turn yourself into an emotional wreck is by reading meanings into just about anything your man does. So please desist from that.

      I think I will be addressing this issue in my next book.

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      2 years ago

      My ex showed signs of testing. But how far will they go? Im really confused. Some days would go past and i would not hear from him. I text him casually "hey, how are you" he responded well "im good, how're you?" And went on to tell me how well he was doing at work. So i was supportive and said goodnight. He didn't say goodnight. 3 days went past and i didn't hear from him. (At one point earlier in our relationship, he asked if i missed him - cos we hadnt messaged in 2 days, i responded "it was only 2 days

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 2 years ago from Nigeria

      Hi Susan,

      Well, I guess that’s your opinion. Do whatever pleases you. But let me now tell you something you don’t understand.

      Imagine this scenario. I’m glad you gave yourself and other women that piece of advice on ignoring ‘gamers’, dropping them fast, and moving on. Now, imagine if I start attacking you for doing just that. How would you feel?

      Remember what the very first commenter stated three years ago and I quote: players are going to hate you for this?

      Out of the bottom of my heart, I’m writing and throwing out a couple of some useful advice which I think might help some woman out there in understanding their men better by informing them on the games some men play and how they play it and how they can possibly respond to such games and what am I getting in return?

      Someone from somewhere who does not even know anything about me comes here and starts calling me all sorts of names…

      Well, I understand why you girls who are doing that are doing so, so now permit me to let you know why it amuses me.

      Probably after reading this, you’ve realized that these games are so real and probably you have also suddenly realized that you have been played too.

      And it makes you so mad.

      And now you want to put the whole blame on me.

      For admitting that I do play mind games on women.

      So you start writing all sorts of rubbish and attacking my person.

      And of course, expecting me to keep quiet and take it like a man, right?

      Ha ha ha…

      Well, so let me tell you how this thing goes. If you think you can anonymously sit back in the comfort of your room behind your computer and call me names, well, I guess I can do the same thing and if that eventually makes you boil with anger, well, I guess it will surely make me smile.

      Tell you what?

      I don’t hate women. What I hate is stupidity. And stupidity is when you consciously miss the whole point and totally ignore the message—no matter how remotely helpful it might be to you—and then you turn around and start attacking the messenger!

      How someone can do that is what still baffles me!

    • Susan Tolbert profile image

      Susan Tolbert 2 years ago from New England

      Your opinions are bizarre, though mind games do occur, but buying into them and keeping them going back and forth solves nothing. It's like stupid kids taunting each other on the playground.

      You clearly get off on working women up into anger. THAT is quite the mind game! You obviously hate women and when you tell them to keep the angry comments coming, that tells us a lot about YOU but nothing about other men and real relationships.

      I advise the women (including myself) responding to this topic to do what they should to other mind-game guys: DROP THEM...FAST!

      As for what to do when you run into more of them, ignore and move on. Don't waste your time doing battle with their sick mentality. There actually ARE good men out there. Just value yourself and the "gamers", who have no lives, will not get to you. DO beware of the high potential for violence when you don't give these babies the attention they crave so desperately! (Can anyone say: Norman Bates"??!).

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      Johnd915 2 years ago

      I truly appreciate this article.Really thank you! Fantastic. edecebbkddeb

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      Unknown 2 years ago

      I just wanted to say that I looked up this article because my boyfriend was all there are articles on facebook blah blah blah so I figured I'd look one up. And I just want men to know that there are....real "female" players out there who know all of these games and see them ahead of time. For instance he's all I'm going to my moms house and you can't stop me. Me I'm all crying on his shoulder please don't I'm sorry I'm such an a hole. But when I leave my tears are gone and I'm excited for booze and whatever else I get myself into. Real men and women don't play games. But don't try playing a real woman..not referring to myself. She'll let you believe what you want and get hers however she feels the need to the second she sees it. Sometimes the players aren't really ahead of the game.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 2 years ago from Nigeria

      Holy Crap!

      You don’t mean it, Shaquita!

      You mean you’re really going through all these sh*t?

      Dammït! You must be a really tough lady.

      Something has to be done! And done asap!

      In fact, I can easily recommend a very good and professional psychiatrist and psychologist for your ex right away. His charges are moderately fair. And from the way you sound right now, I have a feeling you’ll so love him—or rather, his services.

      Guess who he is?


      Ha ha ha… oh man, I love this!

      I really do.

      Three good years after…

      Oh my!

      Keep your fiery reactions coming!

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      Shaquita 3 years ago

      Holy crap!!! EVERY MIND GAME IN THIS ARTICLE IS BEING DONE TO ME AS WE SPEAK by my ex-fiance who broke up with me 4 months ago. I have been trying to mend things with him for weeks but he just keeps on with these demented and cruel games. I wouldn't even call these behaviors GAMES. GAMES are played by innocent children not psychotic, fucked-up men like the author of this article. What we have here are MALIGNANT MASTER MANIPULATOR behaviors and any man that exhibits these behaviors is a sick and twisted individual who could possibly commit such heinous crimes and rape and murder. Maybe I'm being a tad bit dramatic but a GOOD MAN WILL NOT TREAT A WOMAN LIKE THIS IF HE TRULY LOVES HER. The author seriously needs help from a professional psychiatrist and psychologist to get a handle on his NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!!!!

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      Reallyme 3 years ago

      Awesome, I've been reading this thread for many years and don't get tired of it. I've also grown more mature meanwhile and must say, Games are with the flirty guy standing at the bar flashing his smile and jokes - the rest of the evening is with the genuine man with who I go home.

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      Erica 3 years ago

      This is all b.s any woman who has time for games deserves these types of men. Real women don't have time for mind games, real women prefer men who are straight forward and know exactly what they want, a strong man who'l ask questions and voice his concerns instead of "testing" you. Its hard to let go of someone you really liked but after u let go you'll miss him and after that you'll get over it. We've all lost people who meant a lot to us to something as big as death and we got through it. Losing someone to a break up should be a piece of cake. So in conclusion, all I have 2 say is....if he's genuinely and trully into you and see's a future with you, you'll know and if he doesn't you'll be confused! Don't waste your time on these childish games you'l eventually find a real man who's really into you and has the same values as you, in the meantime dont rush anything. God has perfect timing it will happen when the time is right!

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      Misty 3 years ago

      Lol...I have to laugh...yeah you men play these games but some women like me know this and just laugh at these silly games.

      I know who I am and what I'm worth. My man tried most of these games with me because he's always done this with women. He's a player, rake, womanizer, romeo, cad, all those names would fit him well.

      BUT...haha, here's the but...I am a player too...I know these games well. I chew up and spit out players ;) So, with both of us being "players" we managed to find real and true and lasting love!

      Games are all good and fun and the best ones are the ones played in bed in porn-star/tantric positions!

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      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      Hi, purelady68. How you doin’? Well, I’m sorry you feel and see it that way. In real life, I don’t play mind games because I’m insecure or because I want to hurt or control a ‘weak’ woman or something. Come to think of it, why would I do that? No. Not me.

      Listen, I play mind games just for fun. I've said that before. I play mind games with everybody. I enjoy making you wonder. I love and want to see your reaction when I push your buttons. I just love making you think plus listening in to that cranking sound of your busy brain as I make you do the mental gymnastic over and over. Yeah, I thrive on mental stimulation!

      I know … I know … I know this might sound so füćked up to you … but what else can I say other than it’s still so much fun and the way I see it, it wouldn’t hurt to be playing my pranks, shaking up things, playing the Devil’s Advocate and keeping you guessing and testing your intelligence plus cleverness plus mental alertness and agility every once in a while?! But I guess you won’t understand this—and I don’t even expect you to—even though people who know exactly what I’m talking about here will.

      And yes, in relationships, I also use mind games to check how emotional and independent you can get. Yes. Being extremely independent myself, I wouldn’t like to deal with all those mushy-mushy female emotional thingy that impedes on my freedom or saps my energy all the time. Ergo, I just love and will always prefer independent and strong willed women over the clingy, insecure, crybaby types.

      I’m sorry, but that’s just me.

      Like I said earlier—if you actually read the whole article before rushing off to express your vitriol against me in your comments—I’m not ruling out the fact that some badass guys (and girls) out there play mind games for other sinister reasons like seeking to control their subjects but right now, I’m only speaking for myself here. I don’t play it to control you. Nah! I have so many other things of interest to do than seeking for some woman or women to control. When I come out to play, it’s strictly for the entertainment, the fun, and nothing else.

      If as a lady you want to beat me in my mind games, it’s not even that difficult, you just play along. That’s the big secret. I’ll so much enjoy it if you do. Yes, Miss moi is right. Two can play. And I’ll so enjoy it too if you win. So go ahead. Surprise me. Be unpredictable. Be observant. Be open-minded. Keep the fire alive. Spice things up. Come up with your own games and pranks. Call me out. Show me that your awesome brainpower. OMG, I love these things. I will stay tuned!


      Don’t overreact. Don’t over think. Don’t overanalyze. Don’t get overly suspicious or jealous. And don’t get overemotional. You recognize the pattern there? Yes, the devil is in that word ‘over’!

      And that’s exactly the point in my message. I wonder why it’s so difficult for so many of you bashers to see. Well, I guess that’s also how most of you ladies miss it. And then you start hurting. And when that happens, you then you come here to cuss and bash me all you can, thinking you can make me stop or feel bad ‘bout myself but I’m telling you right now that no matter what you say or do, I won’t stop playing mind games because it’s so much fun to me!

      Tell you the truth, you don’t know how much I’m mischievously enjoying myself reading your comments and fierce outbursts here, knowing that I’m even so capable of skiing and zigzagging through the internet with an incredible high speed and then crawling into your house and then jumping out of your laptop and then driving you up the walls with just this article alone! OMG! Just look how you angrily and hurriedly posted three good times just to get your one point across!

      Tee-hee. Tee-hee. And you know what? Some buttons are just too easy to push! Hmmm… three good years after writing this hub and the fun is still this unbelievably undiluted.


      Okay baby, now listen. Something you should know. Everybody is not the same. You need to come out of your own world first to see this for yourself. You may not be down with mind games, I know, but trust me on this; there are so many women who are. They just love the drama, the suspense and the mystery. They abhor boredom. They want a challenge. See… most ladies can’t help it but love these things? Probably you do too yourself, at least to a certain extent, even though you don’t know or want to admit it… huh?

      Ha ha ha!

      Alright. Well, I’m so sorry if you’ve been attracting(?) and dating only gay guys because I’m guessing that’s obviously where and how you got these laughable and nonsensical figures you are posting here but to tell you the truth, I’m the straightest (Gemini) guy you can ever meet. But if you are still in doubt, or you just want to test your quack-duck-analogy one more last time, thank God, there’s still only one way to find out. You. Me. Behind closed doors. Hope you know whamsayin’? Good. It’s your call… bring it on but no sagging breasts, please.

      Ha ha ha…

      Babe, please wake up and look up and stop being stereotypical! I wonder what makes you think mind games is strictly a woman affair only. I wonder what makes you think straight guys don’t notice your often manipulative mind games probably because you mistake their silence for foolishness on their own part after all you firmly believe they can’t just outsmart you?

      In fact, come to think of it now, I wonder what makes you think it’s completely right that you can always dish out mind games to guys at will but they can’t and shouldn’t do the same to you.

      C’mon, those are way too füçked up, foolish, childish, warped, and ridiculously selfish a mentality for someone (like you) who claims to be so mature to have and be brazenly proud of!

      Listen, the rule’s simple. If you can’t take it; don’t give it!

      Yes. Men and women equally play mind games. And like I stated earlier, they all play it for different reasons. See it for what it is and not for what you want it to be. It’s just a game and you choose to either play or not, you know …? Of course, I know you do! Are you no longer the pretty and tough iron lady who’s dumpin’ & droppin’ off guys accordingly and moving on fast like a fast moving train any moment they fail to act according to your dictates and/or meet your expectations?!

      So keep it up!

      And please make sure you always dump and drop all of them on their silly big heads hard on a concrete floor, okay? I’ll be so glad if you do. Also while you are at it, please also remember to kick out at their heads very hard. Bash it. Smash it against the wall. Knock it around. Bust, split or crack it open. Do whatever you like—with all of them bad guys in your life. You have my support any day any time, okay?

      Fine, that’s good. Then repeat as many times as you want! It’s all good and no matter what you do, and as long as you are having fun, just know that Daddy still loves you.

      Now be a good girl an’ run along, okay? In fact, look, I’m pressing this red button right now so why don’t you start climbing up the walls again now … while I go check up on my current standing to see if I’ve won my latest mind game, huh?

      Wish me luck.

      And hey… wait… just make sure you climb faster and higher this time around, okay… hello…? Are you listening to me…?

      Oh dear, she’s off already!

      Hahahahahahahaha … Wow, it doesn’t get any better than this!

      Yours sincerely but unrepentant Master of the (Mind)Game both now and forever,

      Emmy BOY (Author of the funny compilation Funny Shady Bible Stories You Were Never Told)

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      @SweetGirl, you sound so sweet. I'm glad you kinda understand...

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      SweetGirl 3 years ago

      I have mixed feeling about this post.

      On the other hand i understand how some "games " happen naturally when the man instinctlevely feels the need to see whether this girl is the one for him...on the other hand, when it is done deliberately as a mean to toy with someone's head, it has lost it valuable purpose. Example:

      A man can be genuine but feels the pressure of the relationship and needs to know that the girl is not going to walk all over him by asking constantly he does as she wants etc...he might naturally feel the need to put a brake and protect himself by testing her to see whether she will still love him if he doesn't play nice guy all the time. he stops calling for example, stop giving her the expected treatment she is used to. the way she reacts will give him the information he needs. all in all , this is done because of the dynamic of that particular relationship...depending on the level of commitment of the man, he will add to the intensity of that test or he will stop just enough in time to keep the girl.

      Ultimately, when he starts playing games, it means, he wants an excuse to check out eventually at some point....whether the woman acts crazy or play humble is irrelevant because the guy has an agenda. her best bet is to just be herself. if he doesn't like that, then he will reap what he sows. the troub;e is whether it is done for the right reasons or the wrong reasons, the only acceptable form of test is to TALK.

      really until the guy learns to deal with his own mind logic, he will act as if he is in a territory where emttionnally vulnerable creature like women are best dealt with with "games". It is a sad reality. Most players are not happy, because in order to keep a girl, they have to play games and trust me, it is not easier on them either because they work double on their "skills" to test the water...meaning, they never truly settle. they constantly looking for what could excite them.

      That's when, the "unecessary"game turns into something toxic...the thin line between a player and an emotionnally stable man is that, he never interferes with a woman well being. mentally and physically. there is no excuse for happily making her crazy over you...the reality is if a woman runs after a guy, she has lost him already. so that relationship is bound to have rocks hill and mountains until the adrenaline, the toxitocin dies down and one of them matures up and leaves.

      One pointer: For women, we never know truly a man until he starts being himself. when he starts playing games, we know he has issues one way or another so we want to fix him. The funny dynamic is, a woman feels challenged, we endure, try to show him how we care, because that's our nature..some of them see it as weak and it might be true, but the correct word is broken. the moment he startes playing game, he is dealing with a broken woman. and games never brings out the best in a woman.

      there is so much to say but i wll just rest this case here.

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      Purelady68 3 years ago

      Ladies. Mind games

      Heterosexual men who play them - 0%

      Butch (masculine) lesbians who play them - 0%

      Femme (feminine) lesbians who play them - 40%

      Heterosexual women who play them - 60%

      Gay men who play them - 100%

      Do the math

      Dump Accordingly

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      Tight Hot Wet and Sought After 3 years ago

      Pro tip: Use caution. The best P will walk away from this.

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      Miss moi 3 years ago

      Two can play at that game Mr. Lol. I'm Kinda going through this now and instead of acting concerned, I will be flirting right in front of him with the boy toy who works the desk, in a very subtle way. Last time he did this game playing with me I made him feel so stupid lol. He knows I have options. More than him. He's gonna have to get past his insecurities if he wants my loyalty ;-) ;-)

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      kay 3 years ago

      Let me blast you with this very statement:

      "The "game" initiator (aggressor) is always at the losing side."

      Guys can get all "innovative" in reinventing their games, but a smart woman can EFFORTLESSLY sniff out the horrible stench of insecurity that lies within. Let's think about it, isn't it a shame to have had a woman to dump you before you could even kiss her goodbye? In fact, it is very pathetic! It is even more pathetic when you have fallen for her, every thoughts about her will make you desire her more and more, and you know all these are just wishful thinkings of yours.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      "Unlike many girls out there who succumb..."

      Wow kay! You really got me there with that very statement! You must be such a very strong woman for you to have realized how the 'game' is being played.

      Kudos to you but just so you know, the 'game' keeps on changing so your best bet is to keep getting smarter and smarter so as to remain one or two or three steps ahead...

      Until we meet each other, hopefully, someday, who knows, and cancel each other out, huh?

      I know you'll like that and I know I'll like that too 'cause I really need and want to fall harder and harder for someone like thee who knows the 'game' inside out!

      Can you believe that, huh?

      Ha ha ha...

      Anyways, happy New Year 2015 to all of us!

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      kay 3 years ago

      I've had one good-looking guy interested in me and asked me out to a party 1 month after we first met. Just like many typical insecure guys out there who is unashamed of pulling these mind games, he blatantly went intimate with another girl in the party just to see if I care enough to intervene. Unlike many girls out there who would succumb, I purposely looked toward his direction and gave him a smile, just to let him know that I'm aware of his act, and continued chatting with people I met in the party, of course, I maintained my calm and confident demeanor.

      He found me sexy for not giving shit, and was definitely impressed by my confidence. He asked me out for another date. As a woman with dignity, I rejected without giving any explanations.

      Now, he has been asking around about me (I'm not friends with him on Facebook) and obviously, he sees me as a challenge and wants to get me but unfortunately, he's just going to fall harder and harder whenever he thinks of me.

      So guys, don't ever think that mind games can get you what you want when it comes to any women like me, cuz' we are smart enough to see through your insecurities and your old tricks, and we'll fucking ditch you and move on, leaving you desperate for us.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      Alright directgirl, in my own opinion, a hook up might pretend that part simply because he does not trust that you are just okay with the sex alone.

      Your hinting that will even make him more confused. You'll agree with me that quite unlike men, I'd say most women want the sex plus the intimacy. So pretense might as well be a result of trying to fake that supply of intimacy so as to get laid.

      Naturally, people like to obtain 'favors' from others. At times, the process involved could be covert or subtle manipulation in the form of persuasion or pretense.

      Wanting you to swoon over them is just another way of furthering their agenda because you will be hypnotized, sort of, and you'll be subconsciously convinced that you need them the more and thus, you will be so much ready and willing to be satisfying their selfish needs because they know that in most cases, we feel good whenever we do something for someone we love.

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      directgirl 3 years ago

      Here's a question for you related to this but outside of the context of dating or a committed relationship. Why will a hook up pretend he's romantically into you? Even if you hint that you're fine with just sex? Why do people who clearly ONLY have you over when they are trying to satisfy their needs still want you to swoon over them? Would you say the game it's similar or has a different purpose?

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      EF 3 years ago

      Ouch, recent comments are tough eh. Push/pull tactics are good for sales purposes, not genuine love. There needs to be a little game but the limit between play and pain is too risky.

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      Dani 3 years ago

      This is textbook emotional abuse and it's quite disgusting that you're endorsing it, and admit to even partaking in it yourself. Only a man-child would even entertain the idea of or see any reason to treat a woman like this, and those men certainly aren't worth anyone's time. Pulling this bullshit on any woman with integrity and self respect will disengage her from you before the first phase of your mind games operation is even complete. I personally would dump you so fast your head would spin. You should rename this article, "How To Lose A Woman's Love and Trust in You."

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      Jennifer 3 years ago

      Mind games are a sign of insecurity and immaturity.

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      cw 3 years ago

      Ugh. I am terrible at these games and sh*t. The guy I am currently talking to loves these things and admits that he will play them, but he got really really upset with me when I started playing them back. I don't really know what to do :(. I don't know if him telling me to f*ck off is because he got upset in the moment or if he is playing games or if he is serious

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      ali 3 years ago

      In this situation now... not much different than a different abusive situation I was in before.

      Good article. It teaches people what to look for in order to make a quick exit from a relationship like that :)

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      Dav 3 years ago

      my sociopath played mind games as well. They are called life games from the book games people play. He played the game all by him self. And just conned me the way he wanted the game to go. He destroyed my life.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      You are welcome, Maritza. I'm glad you found it helpful.

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      maritza 3 years ago

      Very interesting and excellent article!! Thank u emmyboy it was helpful :))

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      Truth 3 years ago

      Truth is that many women are Players when it comes to dating men, and they should Grow Up since many of them are Very Stupid.

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      I like your viewpoints Sami777. I'm glad you understand.

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      sami771 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I think all young, naive women should read this. It explains a lot about the patterns of common mind games and can help them get out of a bad relationship. A lot of women don't see it when a guy starts doing this sort of thing to them and they get hooked on a guy that at first may have seemed nice, but turns out to be a player.

      It happened to me. All of a sudden this guy that just seemed so interested at first just stopped talking to me. I didn't understand why. I went nuts. I started messaging him constantly, trying to get a response. I was fueled by depression and rage. I felt like I deserved answers. I kept going and before I knew it, two months had gone by. He finally answered me, only to tell me I was crazy and needed professional help. We stopped talking and I thought we were done. About a year later, this guy tried to contact me again! At this point I realized I didn’t want to go on another emotional roller coaster and I just ignored him. I never knew people did this just for fun. I wish I could have just let go from the beginning. It was a stupid thing to do, but I kept telling myself that he likes me. He told me he likes me. We talked all the time and he even wanted me to hang out with him. Maybe there was just a misunderstanding or maybe something happened to his phone. I thought surely, there just HAD to be a reason. Honestly, I was in some pretty bad denial.

      If a guy was ignoring you and you did this, don't feel bad; just know that it's a bad decision and don’t do it again. You won't get anything out of it. I've known others who have tried and they were not in a good place. Neither was I. If a guy does this to you and it makes you feel bad about yourself and you just can't handle the stress, then he isn't for you. Go find someone else, before you really get hurt. Better yet, focus on yourself for a little while. Get your life in order and work on yourself and your own problems. If you can do that, then you should have a little more confidence and you’ll probably attract better guys.

      I think it’s ok to play mind games sometimes, depending on who you are and how you do it, but it can go too far. You need to draw the line somewhere. When you start to get into a more serious relationship, it’s time to stop doing this to each other. Things like marriage and having children should be taken seriously, because at that point it’s not just messing around anymore.

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      MMM11 3 years ago

      And you haters need to give this guy a break. It sounds like he's sincerely trying to be helpful. WOMEN! Lol.