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Apology Letter For Cheating

Updated on June 16, 2016
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Writing An Apology Letter When You Have Cheated

Cheating, more often than not, will result in a very awkward and stressful situation for both parties concerned in the relationship. If you have cheated and wish to apologize for your mistake, then writing an apology letter will not only show your sincerity but it may also help to express everything you want to say in a less than ideal situation.

Below are samples of an apology letter for cheating. Depending on your situation, these letters are written to address different needs.

Apology Letter Asking For Another Chance

If you have cheated on your partner but want another go at the relationship, then you might like to include a plea in your apology letter to be given another chance to make things better.

Dearest ...,

Sometimes, there are simply no words that can adequately express the depth of a person's feelings that are plagued by regret, guilt and sadness for a wrong done. This is my predicament now for hurting you so badly when you trusted me so.

A thousand "I'm sorry" I'm willing to say but I know it can't undo what has been done and it won't ease the pain in your heart. Instead, let me write this to let you know that I regretted my actions and cheating on you is certainly an unforgivable mistake. I totally deserve all the anger and resentment from you for what I have put you through.

However, it also pains me to see you suffering as a result of my misbehavior. Guilt burns in my heart thinking of all the hurt that you must have felt because of my recklessness. Each time that I think of you, I get angry with myself because I can imagine all the bitter tears you must have shed when you learned of my indiscretion.

I'm feeling like this because I know there is still love for you glowing in my heart. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cared one bit and moved on. But I don't want this relationship to end simply because I still care deeply about you and love you with all my heart. I truly want you to be happy again with me still being a part of your life.

Well, a mistake is a mistake. I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you when I have foolishly betrayed your trust in me. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another opportunity to prove to you how much I love you, I will be very, very relieved indeed. For that would mean, I still have the chance to love and cherish you. And a chance to make your future a happier one with more laughter and less tears.

Lastly, I just want to say that I have faith in my love for you. I have faith that we will overcome the odds and make our relationship even better than before. Give me another chance and I have faith that, one day, we will look back at this and be glad that we didn't walk away from each other.

Loving you always,

Saving Your Marriage When You Have Cheated

Whatever the reasons for the problems in your marriage, there is always a chance to save it if you know what to do and how to do it right.

If you are not so sure if writing an apology letter is the way to go (after all, it may well backfire!), then, you need to know the tricks of saving a marriage, and help your spouse heal from your affair. Don't wait because the longer you do that, indifference in your partner will creep in and the job to reconcile with him/her will then become increasingly difficult.

Among the things that you will learn from the book include:

  • How to undo the damage caused by your cheating
  • Steps for repairing your marriage
  • What is harmful and helpful apologies

Poll: Why Did You Cheat?

If you have to pick one, what would be your main reason for cheating?

  • 26% I was having problems with my spouse.
  • 19% I was bored and looking for a fling.
  • 11% I fell in love with the other person.
  • 23% The opportunity presented itself.
  • 21% I needed sexual fulfilment.
4141 people have voted in this poll.

I'm Sorry Letter With A Wish For Your Partner's Happiness

Sometimes, it will be hard to demand anything from your partner when you have cheated on him/her. For all the hurt you have caused, you might not want to put unnecessary pressure on your partner to reconcile with you. In fact, what you simply want may be just for him/her to be happy to lessen your own guilt.

Dearest ...,

First, let me say that I'm sorry for the hurt that I have caused you. I know an apology now will do little to heal the pain. I know it's useless to say sorry when the mistake seems unforgivable. But neither do I want to remain silent as if I don't care one bit about what I have done and the bitterness it brought you.

Not many can live with the idea of being cheated upon. Not many can put the past behind them and revive a troubled relationship. Not many can, again, find happiness in a man/woman who has betrayed their trust. I understand that perfectly. The wound in your heart requires time to heal and it is only right that I allow you the space to do so.

This relationship of ours is now at a crossroad. But I know that the decision of where we go from here is not mine to make. I have relinquished that right when I cheated on you. If you feel that you can no longer find it in your heart to love me the way you used to do, I will accept your decision, although it will be with a ton of regret and sadness. Because deep in my heart, I still love you and wish fervently for a chance for our relationship to bloom once again.

But to me, what matters is your happiness and well-being. If you can no longer feel love, trust and security in our relationship, and wish to walk away, I won't stop you. Once again, I'm truly sorry for what I have done. Whatever you decide from hereon, all I want is just for you to be happy and for the pain in your heart to go away. And hopefully, it will, one day, very soon.

Thinking of you,

Apology Letter With A Separation Request

If you want to initiate a separation after you have cheated on your partner, you can also explain that in your apology letter. While that seems a little cruel, sometimes, we may indeed need to be cruel in order to be kind, especially if we know the relationship would not last.

Dear ...,

A successful relationship is built on love, respect and trust. And when trust is broken, it is not easy to rebuild. It is me who allowed the trust to evaporate overnight between us with my selfishness and unfaithfulness. For that, I'm really sorry for all the hurt and pain that I have inflicted on you.

I know no amount of apologies will be sufficient to heal the wound in your heart. Because of that, I don't know what else I can do to make you feel better, except perhaps, for me to give you the time and space to lessen the pain. A separation will also give both of us a chance to collect our thoughts and decide where we want to go from here.

It is not easy to commit a wrong and then walk away. The guilty feeling never fails to gnaw at the heart. As much as I want to say sorry and promise you happiness once again, I also do not want to end up hurting you even more months down the road. It is just too cruel to make promises now that I sincerely do not know whether I will be able to keep, given the many challenges in our relationship todate.

I know there should be no excuses for cheating. But what is done cannot be undone. I have hurt you badly. I have failed to be a faithful partner. I have betrayed the trust you put in me. The onus is now on me to rebuild the foundation of our relationship and regain your trust. But this is also where I fear I will fail horribly. Instead of making things better, I'm just afraid I will end up prolonging your misery.

So, that is why I believe a separation will do us a world of good. Let the dust settle and we will be able to look into our hearts and see a clearer picture of our feelings for each other. If ours is a true love, I'm sure we will find a way back to each other's arms. If we don't, perhaps, it is just not meant to be.

I'm sorry once again for all the hurt I have caused. Time will heal all wounds and I hope the next time we meet, it will be under less stressful circumstances, whatever the status of our relationship may be.

'Till then please take good care of yourself.

Sincerely yours,

You Can Apologize...

But You Still Need To Work On Your Relationship After The Affair. Save It Before It's Too Late!

If You Want To Share Your Experience On Cheating... - Feel Free To Write Your Thoughts Here

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    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      great letter / great intro or ice-braker, thanks. I'm going to use it for my wife since I did her wrong.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      What a f-cking copout. You can say ''Hey, I cheated. Now I am going to leave because that's the easier thing to do."

    • fluffyclouds profile image

      fluffyclouds 6 years ago

      A letter seems like the most INsincere way to approach the situation. Face-to-face if you want it fixed - a letter won't cut it.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Different things work for different people and situations. Every person must find out what works for them. Nice lens.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @fluffyclouds: There has to be face to face as well, but a letter gives someone time to choose words carefully. It's also harder (therefore more valuable) to put it down on paper and sign it.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Here's what I'd like to get:

      Apology. In writing. Have it include what whe did. "I'm sorry I did x and y and z". An acknowledgement of my pain in a way that showes she is capable of really empathizing and knows how she would have felt in the reverse situation. A statement of commitment to the marriage including a promise to "never again" and a recognition that "she's out of second chances". A promise of what all she's willing to do to regain/rebuild trust and make it up to me. Signed.Complete. Well thought out.

      It should include her expectations of a response, or lack thereof like "I hope you can accept this apology, and while I can't expect instant forgiveness, I hope that someday you CAN forgive me if only so you can eventually release some of the anger and hurt you are feeling to get your life back a little bit."

      NOT just "I'm sorry you were hurt", since that implies maybe it was ok to do it... just not hurt you in the process, or that she's more 'sorry she got caught'.

      NO excuses. No attempts to justify. Even though there were triggers there was NOTHING that I EVER did to deserve this pain, so don't even go there. Admit it was unjustified/iable, selfesh, wrong.

      Then read it to me face-to-face and give me a singed copy.

      That would really be putting herself out there, risk of it being used against her somehow, etc, but there is never going to be trust without taking some big "Trust" risks on her part.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: i cheated on my boyfriend 5 months ago and he found out recently. he hid the fact that he knew i cheated for a week. he said his initial plan was to cheat on me and lie about it while leading me on, then break up with me. instead of doing that, he confronted me. he told me he knew everything. i told him i received sum advice from one of his friends to write him a letter explaining everything, which i did. i actually wrote 2 letters. one letter was descriptive of what we did without being too detailed. the last letter was expressing why i felt like i had to do it. even with both of these letters, he's not satisfied. im at my wits end. im not sure what to do anymore. should keep writing letters until he gets the one he really wants, or give up on letters and just try to make everything work in a different way. please help. i know he loves me because he is still here, but its hard to figure out what i really need to do.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: wow - yah, I'd give her kuddos for the creativity too. I also got caught cheating on my husband of 17 years last month. I haven't officially apologized yet but feel I owe him at the very least...I know he doesn't owe me forgiveness in return, but still feel we have had a long history together and he deserves a face-to-face "I f-d up and I'm sorry I did this to you"-type apology. I'll take the tip from you and refrain from copy/paste anything in an email... ;) Best of luck to you.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I cheated on my boyfriend. He trusted me so much. He didn't shout at me when he came to know about it, but left me with this guilty feeling.. I tried everything but he wouldn't listen.. Apology letter feels good but what if he wouldn't read it? any other option better than this?

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: To Dumb Dumb Dumb. Its funny u mentioned all this because i thought of the lenghts my wife can go to in such occasions. Believe me Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The coldness a warm human being can give out is amazing. I think that everything she did is well deserved. I´m still waiting for my share...and hasn´t come so it is kinda scary. I think the purpose of the site is to give you more or less like a guideline about what to say when words don´t flow easily. The first thing that comes into mind is "oh sh*t". But that aint the best apology. I think that in order to write a sincere apology letter one must really feel the pain.

      However, it is important that you search deep within you if you really want to be with this person. The mind can play tricks on you. Also search what pushed you to take such action.

      All of us cheaters or frustre cheaters deserve to carry a badge of a++hole of the month.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Wholly agree Hurt guy. I just found out about my wife a week ago. I am a step ahead of the game, I already wrote her one (not given to her yet) apologizing for my part of the problem in the marriage that led to what happened. It was lack of communication and me working too much that drove her away lonely for emotional feelings that eventually led to a double edged sword of emotional and physical infidelity. I would hope for her letter without having to prompt for it, If I have to ask, it looses a lot of sincerity for me.

      It was my idea to try to save our 25 year marriage rather than throw her out. Nobody can possibly understand the pain you and I are in without having been there themselves. I am just glad she says she wants to work it out also. Supposedly she has had no contact with the OM and will maintain that. His wife died about 1 1/2 years ago and my wife was working for him so she was helping him with everything. Just the two of them alone in an office all day, the situation was ripe to say the least. I knew that but did not say anything because I wanted to trust her. I wish he had a wife to tell the truth to. I am writing a "letter" to him, not threats but explaining the amount of hurt he has caused us and how he cheapened my wife by sending her home with a salad for me when they were lying and meeting for dinner . Gee, taking my wife is worth a salad to you? What an idiot! I would love revenge but I am not going there. I will write the letter, let my wife read it first, then burn it. \

      I am taking the highest road I can and hope we can come out of this stronger and more in love. there will always be hurt but it should fade with the passage of time as long as we keep going in a forward direction.

    • profile image

      kaceyslater1 5 years ago

      I think there is no reconcilation when we are talking about infidelity.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      i cheated for almost six years now, i really love the woman i cheated on her and i need help i need her back but she is holding back now because she thinks i will hurt her

    • profile image

      failingmarriage 5 years ago

      I love this lense! We all make mistakes and sometimes we do stupid things before we realise how much we love someone. Trying to explain our mistakes is so hard thankyou for helping

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @failingmarriage: sometimes a letter wont do for bringing back the trust your partner had on you. it becomes a black mark in our lives!!! :(

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: same way here, and i wish everyday to fix it.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      guys please help me :( huhuhu

      i don't know whether its cheating or not. but i have boyfriend , we are in our 8 month now. and i live in indonesia he is at india. we never meet directly , we meet at internet. but at july, i used internet, and there's a site that we can talk to stranger . at first i just want to play and having fun when my boyfriend working. then i met with a boy . and i made him my bf. but then i realized then i stop it. and this day , is my bday my real boyfriend told me that this boy sending our chat to my real boyfriend. now my boyfriend sick and he wont take medicine. he just said die and die. what should i do guys? :( i love him so muchhh. even he still talking and chatting with me. but he keep discuss what i have done. i know im wrong.

      p.s :sorry for miss spelling . just want to share

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Hi. I have cheated on my spouse of 9 years. I didn't want to post my story publicly, but I am willing to share it with anyone who wants to listen and perhaps correspond with me, as I will have questions. I also would like to hear your story. Please only people who are good listeners, need respond. Thanks so much.

    • veronicatarantino profile image

      veronicatarantino 4 years ago

      I love this..

    • sukkran trichy profile image

      sukkran trichy 4 years ago from Trichy/Tamil Nadu

      if i cheat a person now, definitely another person will cheat me later. this is a law of nature. i don't want to be cheated. sorry no 'cheating' experience. thanks for an interesting read.

    • profile image

      mumsgather 4 years ago

      I have been on the receiving end before but I didn't get a letter of apology. I got a letter from the third party to tell me about it!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Hi heart broken, i would like to hear ur story. love to share mine.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I cheated on my man that is locked up 5 days ago. I stayed true to him for 7 months till 5 days ago. I'm in love with him! He told me that I can get a gf months ago then a few weeks ago that he knows that I want to have sex. Then said just make sure you use a condom. So my dumb butt did. Then I lied at first telling him I want to a party and 4got my phone and that's why I missed his call that night. So last night I told him that I had sex. His is heart broken. Crying his eyes out to me. He never through I would do it.

      Know I don't know what to do. I have apologized over and over. I wish I could take it back. I just don't know where to go from here. I sit and listen to him vent about I have done to him and US. How can he trust in me again. I need help in where do I go from here.

    • gaga6599 profile image

      gaga6599 4 years ago

      Very interesting topic. And letters are nice.

    • takkhisa profile image

      Takkhis 4 years ago

      Don't cheat anyone! It's bad.

    • profile image

      infoprogirl 4 years ago

      Nice letters and interesting lens.

    • Jogalog profile image

      Jogalog 4 years ago

      Interesting. I think if someone cheats they need to write their own letter though.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 4 years ago

      Interesting perceptions on cheating but when one cheats I doubt that an apology is appropriate. Actions, after all, speak louder than words and a leopard doesn't change its spots. At least that's my opinion.

    • profile image

      tonyleather 3 years ago

      Nobody EVER gets past someone cheating on them, because it will never be an isolated incident, and the trust is gone forever.

    • profile image

      nikki-weberkenny 3 years ago

      @anonymous: does a kiss really constitute as cheating when I pulled away, my fiancé left me and I literally want to die I feel as tho im nothing without him I love him more than anything in the world I need advise I never slept with anyone else but I was totally honest with him I need help I need him back he tells me that he loves me but needs time but he moved out after a month of knowing sleeping next to me every night telling me he loves me and making love to me all the time the the past 2 days he changed what do I do...PLEASE HELP

    • profile image

      jen-love-75054689 3 years ago

      @anonymous: I cheated on my husband of 14 years and am also confused and heart broken. I could also use a friend to talk to

    • profile image

      respecthaiti87 3 years ago

      Wow where can I start I'm edd everyone I cheated on my girlfriend that's my wife now....since she was 18 I been with her and honestly I cheated our whole relationship I snuck around I done everything a cheater would do to keep at his ways and still come home to the women he claims and prize in life for 2 years even after she had our son I kept on countless women and breathes of life taken out of this women she still stayed ????? Puzzled I began to be good hearted great with our son love our built world just taking it day by day and extremely happy and in love but my past suddenly would play it's role and cave me in whenever it feel like it and who's she who's this person why she doing this n that and slowly my wife broke down n cheated after 4 years of being faithful I lost it bro I completely became someone else I lost my cool not going to lie even slapped her couple times not hard but I did just pure hurt coming down and I know how it feels 20x more now that you're in love and happy and gawking and all this great emotion in your heart you felt it means and meant nothing but honestly as a guy that's had experiences and trouble in life with women and falling and forgiving I tell you seriously if your in love stay that way don't torment your love if your truly able to feel that maximum high be with them cherish the moments because when you caused the strife don't expect your heart to not shatter like theres except your wrong and love each other and build until you really in your heart feel like you can't build no more

    • profile image

      Charolette 20 months ago

      Apologies shoukd be from ur heart not that whic u google n then copy paste.. Each and every word of ur apology must be from ur heart n then see its magic... It will work and fix the problem... Try it out!

    • profile image

      Shilpa 20 months ago

      A heartfelt apology reaches the other heart way faster than ur emails... So guys use all ur brain u can to put the right words and apologise wholeheartedly and i assure u, u will have ur apologies accepted and u too will feel an inner satisfaction of ur true and honest apology.... Good luck.. Never give up.. Always remember patience bears the best fruits.... Happy life...!! :)

    • profile image

      abby 10 months ago

      Me and my 3 year boyfriend were having really bad issues. So we took a break but I ended sleeping with someone and he found out. He called me every single insulting word that anyone can think of..

      I don't know what to do to get him back. I do love him and we planned our whole future together and I don't ever want to let him go. I regret what I did with all my soul. And not only that but I know we can finally work out, we had so many issues to work on but I feel this will help us to grow and learn and finally be happy. But how do I do it if he doesn't want to see me or talk to me.

    • profile image

      emaaXleighh 8 months ago

      HELP PLEASE, i NEED SOME ADVICE.

      He is older, my boyfriend, and with a son. Almost eight years older. His son turned three about six months ago. Now, my boyfriend an I have been together for just a few weeks over a year, and we've always, always been inseparable. He lived with me for about six months in the beginning, but in June moved in with his grandparents to help them with things done around the house that they could no longer do. I understand that. Everything is still fine, we still see each other almost everyday. Now, here is where I get a little messed-up.

      In July, I cheated on him. I was feeling lonely. We went from seeing one another everyday to only seeing each other one a week. That’s a big thing, or was for me anyway. My girlfriend came over, unannounced and her ride had already left. I knew he'd be upset because she is the wild type. So, her and I go hangout with some friends from our forensics class at the college and things just took an unexpected turn. My boyfriends cousin, whom I met him through told me all these nasty stories about him hooking up with other girls, some I called my friends, some I hadn't even heard of. So, out of spite and being hurt, I ended up having sexual relations with another man, who I known for years, but didn't care for. I stooped in the middle, crying, saying I had to go home. Instead, we went to my friends house and stayed there for two days. The night after, I messaged each girl I knew of and asked if my boyfriend had been seeing them behind my back. They all said yes. I told my boyfriend what I had done and what the other girls had told me. He picked me up and he dined it all, and forgave me. All was good, but he was hurting. I could tell. I tried for months and months to give m=him my all and show him it was not going to happen again and that I was going to be with him for the long run and we would work things out like mature adults.

      Two weeks ago, we celebrated our one year anniversary. One week ago, I found out that he had cheated on me July through August.. There was so many text messages, but none saying that he had actually done anything other than just taking and leading the girl on. There were several numbers but one that really stuck with me because I had met this woman, she was married and he had gone over there a time or two and came back with physical evidence that she had done some tattoo work on him. However the messages did not go past the date of August 12th, but around that time he got a new phone.. I called him out on it. I told him how could he be such a coward? I came out the very next day and told him everything and he still denied, denied, denied. I had to find out for myself, when I was so open with him. He let me feel like such a bad partner for so long when in reality, he was just as guilty as I was. Maybe even more considering he felt the need to hid it. We talked it out and came to the conclusion that we would remain partners and we would really work with each other, but I just still feel so terrible. I'm blaming him cheating on myself. Like, if I would have been a better girlfriend, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to reach out to other women. I just don't know how to cope with all of this and I need help. I've thought several times that I didn’t want to be with this man, but every time we get into a big arguments and we talk about separating, I can't do it. I can't bear the thought of physically loosing my two boys. My world revolves around them. GIve me some thoughts on how you'd feel/ do/ approach this situation.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 5 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      These are interesting letters. Thanks for writing.

      Namaste

    • profile image

      Terrell sapp 3 months ago

      Okay so here we go been on Molly for a few days and me and my baby mother has been going through our ups and downs she's 32 years old I'm 21 we've been together for 2 years on and off met her in Fort Lauderdale got her out of there and moved her to Orlando to better herself and we just found out a few months ago that she is with child four months pregnant so I've been on Molly for the last past few weeks and me and my baby mother has not been having sex lately so she was at work and we got into a argument and she didn't come home for 3 Days me Thinking With My Dick instead of my head I messed around with my homeboy his so-called girlfriend and ever since then I kept it to myself and tried to just put it in the past but of course whatever is done in the dark will come to the light and when she approached me about it Friday morning I beat her getting mad and that's where I made the biggest mistake of my life as she walked out the door Friday morning at 10:30 and she has been gone ever since she has been texting me crazy outrageous text messages which is understandable because she is hurt and feels betrayed but the text messages are starting to get a little bit easier not too much but just a little then I heard from a friend of ours that she's planning on going back to Fort Lauderdale do you honestly think she will throw away everything that we build and create it together over my foolish mistake I've been texting her and calling her consistently non-stop haven't heard anything got a few text messages back from her but I'm just so lost that incomplete without her I don't even feel like myself everything I do doesn't even feel the same anymore do you guys think that she will come back home to me and we can work it out please feel free comment and let me know thank you so much sincerely through outside and keep me and my baby mother Jessica in your prayers thank you God bless

    • profile image

      J Smith 11 days ago

      Cheaters are unable to discernbthe problem with their behavior.

      They are impulsive, and disregarding of established trust.

      One time?

      GOODBYE.

      NO COMPROMISES.

      The End

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