Why You Should Avoid the Surviving Infidelity Forums After Discovering an Affair
You're Angry - So You Should Avoid Other Angry People
Surviving infidelity is, at the time of the discovery, a challenge that can feel almost insurmountable. To find out that your spouse has cheated on you can leave you so blindsided and unable to wrap your head around the reality of the situation that you don't even know where to start.
Of course, this is the internet age and no matter what happen to us, good or bad, we appear to reflexively hit internet forums and discussion boards to talk about it. To tell you the truth, there really is nothing wrong with that, especially since coping with a marital affair will make most humans crave anonymity, especially when they feel humiliated by the betrayal and the implied rejection.
There's just one problem with the kind of comfort and advice you find online – a great deal of it is highly-UNqualified and in some cases, perhaps even dangerous. That isn't to say that you can't get solid opinions from people, but imagine a world where there was no anonymity online. If everyone had to virtually sign their name to every statement they published online, you can be sure the webosphere would change quite drastically.
Case in point with the Surviving Infidelity Forums, where you'll find both those who've discovered an affair going on behind their backs, and in some cases, those who were cheated on in the past and have yet to move on. Those people remind me of someone I know.
That someone is very close to me hand ad been quite hurt by her husband and she was naturally angry about the situation. However, as the months carried on, she appeared to get angrier and angrier and contrary to what happens in most cases, she dwelled on the situation more and more.
This started to cost her friends who once sympathized for her and were there to have her cry on their shoulders. But her never ending bitterness and animosity eventually repelled them.
If you're reading this right now, it's likely because of the unfortunate reality that you're in a lot of pain right now. As full of thoughts as your mind might be right now, try to keep a couple of things in mind – before you seek advice online, qualify the help by two criteria:
1. How reliable is the person dispensing the advice? Great if “StarUncle45” on the Surviving Infidelity forums tells you whatever's on his mind, but he can get away with saying whatever he chooses. Not the same case for qualified individuals who will put their names to the advice they dispense.
2. If whoever you speak to encourages you to be angry about the situation, lock them out of your life. Do you have a right to be angry? Yes, you do. Is it healthy to spend your days wishing your spouse dead? No. In order to start the healing process, it's imperative that you flush the negative. Yes, it's challenging, but it can be done.