Advice for Men: Why She Argues

Updated on January 27, 2017

If you're here, you're probably looking for an answer to the age-old question: "Why the heck does she argue with me all the time?" or "Why is she always picking fights with me?" or "Why does she always have to be right?" or any variant of the these questions. It's a plaguing question that was asked by the very first wrong caveman standing next to a feisty cave goddess and argued over trivial things like whether or not to decorate the cave with pine or spruce, or whether or not the wheel should be round or spherical. Either way, man always ended up wrong, and woman always right, and both have been fighting ever since. It's one of the biggest hurdles a relationship has to overcome.

So why is it still like this today?

Women Have Needs

I know you already know she has needs. I know that you think that you are fulfilling those needs, and yet I know that you aren't, mostly because you're still asking "what's wrong?" Don't worry, though, by the end of this article, I intend to furnish you with a new perspective of your woman and why she can get so argumentative, feisty, or hot-headed at times (or all the time if you're the unlucky fellow).

You see, it's not that complicated, though it's no day at the park either. It's a delicate balance, understanding your woman and then knowing what to do when she exhibits certain behaviors. If she's like most women, she'll have a pattern of behaviors and let you get used to it, and just when you think you've got her figured out, she'll change up that pattern just a little or she'll change a full 180 degrees. Then, when you get the next pattern figured out, she'll change again. It never ends—trust me.

It's always a test, even if she doesn't look at it that way or you don't like to think of it that way, that's what it is. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, and she doesn't do it just to confuse you or make you feel wrong all the time. She does it unconsciously, on a level that even she doesn't understand most of the time. That's not to say she isn't, or couldn't be in control of her emotions, behaviors, and actions. It's just that she has yet to awaken her conscious ability to sustain her needs. And until she figures out that she can control it, or things work themselves out by other means (such as you changing the way you perceive her needs and actions), then she'll just continue on the path of argumentative destruction.

That being said, just because a woman becomes aware of her conscious ability to control her nature to test and analyze her men and relationships, doesn't mean she'll stop doing it. She'll just be more precise about it.

You see, the basic nature of any woman and any human, for that matter, is to fulfill our most basic needs. We have two kinds—physical needs and psychological/spiritual needs—and they go hand in hand in regards to our survival. We literally cannot neglect them, no matter how much we may want to. When it comes to those needs, once we get past our physical needs (food, air, water, etc,) we have to fulfill our Big 6 needs. Now, there are some differences between the genders, as to what psychological needs are a priority above others. Men tend to favor Significance and Variety over the other six, and women tend to prefer Certainty and Connection.

Now, because women need to feel certain about their lives and their relationships, they find themselves constantly seeking that connection with themselves and their mates that show them their relationship is certain and that they can be confident that they are more than enough of a woman to fulfill their man. The cycle feeds on itself constantly, as you can tell.

The only hard part is, although your woman may always seem confident, she's actually just as confused as you are. The one thing she wants to do is make you happy so that you will, in turn, remind her of the truly beautiful goddess she is inside, yet you do so many confusing things too. She's always wondering what you're thinking because when you tell her, she has a connection with you that tells her that you trust her—which is a form of certainty in your relationship. But when you don't open up, because it's not in your nature to seek that connection as much or as often, she finds herself feeling uncertain about whether or not you want to be with her, or if she's making you happy. When you work late, if she is upset, it's not that she doesn't appreciate your effort in trying to make sure your finances are taken care of and that you're all fed. It's just that a part of her is uncertain about whether or not you're actually working late because you don't want to come home to her.

She is especially confused when you don't come home and tell her how beautiful she looks because even if you feel it is implied because you wouldn't be with a woman you didn't find extremely attractive, she finds herself more uncertain about that implication with every passing day that you don't tell her. It gets even more confusing for her if you start withholding physical affection. Even if she's not the "touch me" kind of gal, she still wants to know that you'll try till your dying day, to keep touching her and showing her that gentle yet masculine physical love.

Trust me. The reason your woman always has to be right, always picks arguments or fights with you constantly, isn't because she really wants to make your life hell. It's not because she thinks she knows everything, and she definitely doesn't think you're always wrong. The truth is, she just wants to feel certain that she will always receive your unconditional love and affection. And if you can't provide that certainty for her, she'll find another way to feel certain—by getting angry. Because you can't tell me you don't feel absolutely certain when you're angry.

A Clip from One of My Favorite Vids on This Subject...

How Can You Help Her Feel More Certain?

It's not as hard as you might expect, and it's a job made only for the manliest of men. Only those of you brave enough, courageous enough and masculine enough, can do truly give a woman just what she wants in a way that fulfills hers most basic needs.

If you're ready to accept your mission, and you feel you're up to the challenge, just follow these steps to loving your woman unconditionally in a way that fulfills her needs and makes you always Right (not that you need to be, it's just a bonus).

Pursue Her:

It's in your basic nature, don't ignore it! When she pulls away, distances herself from you or becomes standoffish, what she wants is the opposite of what she's outwardly showing. She wants you to PURSUE her. She wants to know that you'll do anything to please her. She wants to know that there is nothing she can do that will lose your love. She wants to know that if she were to leave you, be kidnapped or somehow be separated from you in extremely unlikely circumstances, that you would ride bareback on a donkey out into the middle of the Sahara desert to rescue her under threat of pain or death.

Your attitude should be:

  • I'll climb any mountain, walk through any desert, swim through any swap, cross any might river and ride across the longest plains, to the end of the earth if I have to, in order to be with the woman I love and to make her happy. Anything less is unacceptable.
  • No matter how much she tells me she's "fine," or that everything's "okay," I will do everything it takes to connect with my woman. I will listen, I will tease, I will be sincere, I will flirt, I will fill her up with my love in any way possible because that is my nature.
  • When she leads, I will follow. When she seeks direction, I will guide her. When she needs me, I will be there. When she runs, I will pursue. When she is distant, I will get closer. When she seems upset, I will love her until she has no more upset left.

Be Patient & Persistent:

Your woman is a strong creature, and when she's upset, she's not thinking "what need am I not meeting that is causing me to act this way?" she's just thinking, "Damn I'm so mad because of blah blah blah!" That blah seems important, even if it isn't. And even if you get that grievance is taken care of, another one will take its place. That's what happens when you are driven by certainty. It's also what happens when you don't consciously seek your needs and leave them up to the will of your unconscious mind. So when she's upset, she's going to stay in that upset mindset until something brings her out of it, or she gets bored with it and thinks of a new way to rock the boat and meet her need for certainty and connection. Because she'll be in the upset mindset, she's going to do everything to push you away, or distance herself from you. She might do this because of self-esteem issues, because she doesn't think you'll think it's that important, or she might build up like a big storm until she unleashes all that wild nature on top of you.

What you can do:

  • When she seems to be REALLY mad, don't try to make her "feel better" and don't try to "fix" anything. Just be there. Allow yourself to prepare for gale-force winds and potential downpours. Then take it like the man you really are. Be that unmovable mountain and use all that stubborn strength to turn your relationship into the best one you've ever had. It might seem like you're glimpsing a small piece of the underworld when she blows up, but I can guarantee you that once the storm has worn itself out, the woman you love will come out to shine again, and she'll be that much more in love with you for being able to withstand the worst that she can throw at you.
  • Be persistent in your endeavor to figure out what's bothering her or upsetting her. If you find that she's being especially resistant to your attempts, look her in the eye with all the certainty and love you can muster and tell her "I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. If I can't do it now, I will go figure out another way to do it, and another and another until I see that sexy smile on your face again."
  • If it seems like you're not getting anywhere, be patient with yourself as much as you are patient with her. It's not always going to be the same solution every time, and sometimes the solution is not to try to solve anything (as with the big angry storms). Sometimes the answer will come to you right away, and other times you will have to work at it. As I said, it's a challenge only the manliest of men should take on, as it's no small order. Though for those of you who can master it, you'll never find yourself with a lack of love or for a woman who would die to make you feel like the god you really are. The only thing you have to do is not give up, and remind yourself in times of frustration, that she's just as confused as you are, and that you alone have it in your power to help her find certainty.

Show Her Your Lover:

We women get to see plenty of your strong skills and powerful will when it comes to working and caring for the home, and it's not that we aren't appreciative of that warrior side of you. In fact, that warrior side of you is what attracted her to you in the first place. Yet, the reason she brought you home or went home with you is that she wanted to meet your lover. When you first met, your lover was out in full force. Though after a while, you brought the warrior back out because you needed to think about the bills, work, kids or simply because she started getting combative with you all the time. And with any of those things on your plate and then some, it's no wonder you rely on your warrior side to take care of business. That warrior is the part of you that kicks ass and gets things done. The only problem is, you became accustomed to the state you feel most certain in (the warrior state) because it's so easy for you to get there. You knew that no matter what she did, or what happened to you, your inner warrior could come out and take care of business. Yet, your warrior just doesn't seem to have what it takes to please your woman all the time. He's too sacrificial, too tough, too focused to get inside that woman of yours and make her blossom like the tiger lily she is. Your warrior side is smart and decisive, but he also can't see what's right there in front of him—that your woman wants your lover to come out and play.

How to put your Warrior away:

  • Change Your Perspective: When she's fighting with you, it's not because she really wants to fight with you. I mean, come on, who wants to fight with the person they love? No one. No, what she wants is your undivided attention. She wants affection from ALL of you, your mind, body, and soul. Not just attention for now so she'll stop bugging you, or attention because she's needy or any other negative understandings of her behavior. Change your perspective from the warrior to the lover by understanding that she wants your positive attention and affection. When she's mad and seems to be looking for a fight, put away your sword and take her to the bedroom for some hot angry loving. When she's yelling at you, uncross your arms and creep across the room to her until there is no distance between you. Wrap your arms around her as she lets loose of the last her warrioresses gripe.
  • Be Spontaneous: When nothing seems to be working, and you've tried everything you've learned above, it's time to be spontaneous. This is a big one that most humans of the male persuasion don't often understand—it's not that you're doing anything wrong, in fact, you're doing everything right. The problem is that now she needs variety in the form of romance—now that you know that, luckily it's in your masculine nature to easily find variety. Take that natural drive and use it to think of the most romantic thing you can take her to do, or that you can do at home with her. And remember—romantic doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. The main ingredients of great romantic gesture are—surprise, thoughtfulness, excitement, seduction and enthusiasm on your part.
  • When she becomes self-deprecating about herself in any way, she wants you to prove her wrong. She wants you to make her feel certain that she will always be attractive, interesting, seductive and important to you. Fill her up with every bit of confident and certainty that you can give her, from your lover state, not your warrior state.

How Do You Know If You're Doing It Right?

  1. You won't be any less confused by her actions, but you'll understand that no matter what she does, you'll know just what to do and you'll have a new appreciation for why she does the things she does.
  2. You'll find yourself needed to fulfill her need for variety/romance more often than her need for certainty. That's one of the biggest tip-offs you're doing it right. If you've provided her with the level of certainty she needs from you, the only other thing she needs to keep that connection alive and healthy is that romantic variety you happen to be so good at supplying. So when you find that you're constantly searching for the next BFD of romantic gestures, you're doing it right!
  3. You actually look forward to the next time she gets upset and builds into the mother nature style tornado. Not because you want her to be upset or because you like to see her mad, but because you know that's just one more way you can prove just how much of a man you are and one more time you can help fulfill her needs. You'll find yourself enjoying the notion that you're able to withstand anything, and that when it's all over, it's time for that lover to come out and play again.
  4. You notice that you no longer think of your woman as needy, confusing or strange.
  5. You find yourself enjoying the pursuit of the next romantic and adventurous endeavor. The warrior in you that always said "Sheesh, does she really need that much attention?" will have changed his perspective to "Hey! Look how great I am at hunting down romance and pleasing my woman!" and your lover side will say, "Hell yeah."
  6. Overall, your woman seems to be less combative and more loving towards you. Though she'll still through you a curve ball now and then, you'll notice that she is again that beautiful, radiant lady you first fell in love with.
  7. You'll notice that you feel fulfilled as well. Because your goddess-gal is so filled up with love and happiness, she'll send just as much back your way. Making sure that you always know how much she loves you—that she needs you in her life, that you are important, significant and special to her. She'll make sure that you and every other person in town knows that you are man enough.

Remember:

  • When she picks fights or becomes combative, she needs your love and undivided attention.
  • When she throws a curve ball at you, catch it. When she tests you, pass the test by giving her positive attention. When nothing seems to be working, be romantic.
  • You have two choices with a woman: 1. Give her positive love and attention, or 2. Be forced to give her your negative attention. Which would you prefer?
  • Every woman is different. Although we all have a significant need for certainty and connection, the level that we need to meet is different for every woman.
  • The lover part of you knows how to listen actively. He knows how to provoke and tease without being mean or malicious. The lover in you knows when to push and when to step away momentarily. The warrior side of you has problems with these skills, so it's up to you to blend your warrior and lover sides together in order to create harmony in your relationship.
  • If you find yourself getting frustrated, confused or hopeless, change your perspective. Come back to this hub as many times as you need, or ask a friend for some ideas on how you can change how you're looking at things. Get a relationship coach—whatever it takes.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      BS 

      8 hours ago

      This whole article puts the burden of marital success on the male. It made me more like a water buffalo in the Philippines. I provide everything, including her own emotional stability, and when I am done she will strip my carcass for the remainder. Nope rather try operate conditioning, and if she is resistant still, I'll find someone else.

    • profile image

      pfff 

      2 weeks ago

      This sounds too exhausting. Screw marriage!

    • profile image

      jan 

      2 weeks ago

      From a women's preceptive yeah this sounds great but the world just doesn't work this way. I think the golden rule is the best...treat others has you would like to be treated. Have a date night and go out and just have some fun. Life is too short to analyize the hell out of it. Plus this would never work because in the back of all relationships and you can't tell me I'm wrong is the "invisible scorecard"!

    • profile image

      happycamper10 

      3 weeks ago

      The "Me" login nailed it, "Too much work. I'll just be single".

      Modern day American women have just made being with them too much work.

      If men exhibited the same behaviors as those ascribed to women in this article, we would be called a-holes, -and rightly so.

      Furthermore, women don't want an open and honest discussion about issues in a relationship, they want you to tell them you agree with them. Men see agreeing to disagree as normal behavior and nothing to get upset about, women see it as failure.

    • profile image

      2 months ago

      Ironically Tony Robbins couldn't save his own marriage.

    • profile image

      bla bla 

      2 months ago

      why do men have to put up with such irrational behavior? dump her and move on to someone who can appreciate what u do for her.

    • profile image

      Jim 

      2 months ago

      Thing is as the man indulges this behavior in this realm it becomes a way of acting out in other aspects of the relationship. Like any behavior..........hey, if it worked here I'll try it out everywhere else in the relationship. After all we are talking about a self-indulgent want expressing itself in a certain manner. While it may lead to the result you feel it will it can also go the other way leading into other parts of the relationship. Pushing someone's 'buttons' for a desired result and then allowing yourself to buy into it can lead down a very dicey road.

    • profile image

      T Durden 

      3 months ago

      The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Women, especially married ones, can treat their men like crap, and the man's choices are leave and be broke or stay and live with dysfunction. Too late for me to say "no thanks" unfortunately.

    • profile image

      B's detector 

      3 months ago

      Yet another artical firmly biased in favor or women. "Beautiful cave goddess" please sounds to me like you said women are incapable of expressing their needs and we should constantly adjust ourselves to fulfill their needs or live in perilous misery.... No thanks

    • profile image

      SactownSid 

      3 months ago

      And once again, it's on the guy to change for the gal. Can't have the girls taking stock of how nuts they make us with their bullshiesse and work to make US feel comfortable, right? Screw all that. If you want to be "certain" (impossible by the way) then make a little damn effort yourself.

    • profile image

      Lightbulb 

      3 months ago

      When you put it like that it all kinda makes sense.

    • profile image

      James Richards 

      3 months ago

      I wish I was gay!

    • profile image

      John 

      3 months ago

      Thank you. You've confirmed, once and for all, that I've made the right choice. I do not look at, approach, talk to, or acknowledge any woman. I certainly will never date one. And I will die before I marry one. I'm convinced that men and women were never meant to be together. I believe everything you said in this article, as ludicrous as it is. But yes, women really are that insecure. That insecurity is a hole that can never be filled. And I'm not even going to try.

    • profile image

      Chris 

      4 months ago

      There definitely is some helpful advise in here.

      But I have some questions to the author:

      Are the women in your imaginative fantasy world unconcious creatures that are dragged by men through life? Do they need a „you passed! You‘re still worth it!“ certificate every 72 hours or else they‘ll explode? Would you describe them as a lower living organism related to, for instance, bacteria?

      And the men-creatures. They don‘t have needs in your novel, do they? Do they just work and build houses to serve the unconcious bacteria?

    • profile image

      Incredulous 

      4 months ago

      This is ludicrous advice. Let her be emotional, mean, and irrational, b/c that's true love. Geez.

    • profile image

      Me 

      5 months ago

      Too much work. I'll just be single

    • profile image

      Confess 

      5 months ago

      Really?!

      A man always does good things for the lady he one day thought he loved.

      But there is a limit for everything this, my wife my mum my sister my friends treat their husbands like a complete idiot .victimisation doesn’t work anymore, everything needs to work just for women! WHY IS THAT A RULE IF IT IS WHERE HAS IT BEEN WRITTEN, on the bible somewhere!?

      Come on it should work both ways, it doesn’t make sense we do good and are always bad you can’t blame someone else to fulfill your unhappiness and that is what women is most of the time. This concept that man needs to kneel forgive me but it is a completely joke!

    • profile image

      April JAP 

      6 months ago

      I do not know where the rest of my reply went. But there was more.

      Because I AM do not agree with how men should have to s to all around the house or wherever after his wife to make her happy etc. If anything, that would get on my last nerves. Because I know for a fact my husband would wonder what on Earth was wrong with me and to kindly (in not so many words) back the bleep off, give some space, and I am creeping him out.

      And honestly, I do not believe this article is even based on the perspective of more than one female. It's biased, and being a woman myself, I do not feel confused in this way. Speaking of, this article gives "a woman" more of an excuse to justifiably argue with a man like she's got no sense in her confused head. Apparently she doesn't. Because she is so confused!

      I was confused and wanted to argue all over the place with a Progressive Rep the other day, after she told me how much my husband and I would pay per month, then just before our call ended, that payment suddenly changed and hiked! Why? Because she was confused and didn't mean to lie to me about how much she had quoted us. That's b.s. and ,I was angry after all that confusion, believe you, me.

      In closing, as I am trying to sum up what I had already said in my previous post that got confused and only omitted this part out, any two people in a relationship who claim they NEVER fight/argue are lying. No relationship is perfect. And although my hubs is very negative... Well "positive the negative will always happen", and I do have a tendency to allow my sensitive side to get the best of me, and take it all to heart, therefore my anger shields me from the hurt and pain I then feel in the heat of the moment, I hate those arguments, although I shouldn't allow a lot of it get the best of me, I would love to know what could be done to find a happy medium for him and I both. Where the neg isn't so negative as it is. And so I do not allow my guard to cause me to get so angry as I do in reaction to his... I love him. And as he is.

      You need some unbiased articles in here. Where it isn't so one-sided. It appears this article's author single-handedly made the majority of the female aspect of the Human Race look like blithering idiots with no thought process other than confusion.

      And to another person in here (ELEFTHERIOS) who said "...a woman has it's needs...'" I'd beg to differ. And ask that you not place us as if we are literally not Human at all. That's demeaning. Hopefully that wasn't out of anger for the fact of how this article was so much bias. We will get through this. Once we are finished with all of this confusion...

    • profile image

      April JAP 

      6 months ago

      Now although agree with some of this, I equally disagree with some of it. There was not a thing in this article that mentions why a woman's angry when the man is always negative, angry himself daily, and oftentimes directs that all at the woman who in turn gets angry because she is literally hurt by his constant actions and the hurtful words he uses while in his "warrior" state of mind full of anger! Write an article about that please. And how they can both work with one another, and on themselves. A unit and individually. Seriously! I want to know what can be done to help a marriage where both spouses are like the positive and negative side of a battery. But the negative is somehow causing the positive side to react negatively. And in a destructive way! Health issues are rearing their UGLY head, as well as joyous emotions that were once there... All going to crap. And he gets angry when she puts forth any positivity to try and soothe that Savage warrior that doesn't need to cause an unneeded war between them both... But it gets worse and worse each time. Other times, if she's upset about certain things that usually makes him angry, then out of the blue he's the voice of reason ? What the hell is up with that? Want to talk about "confused"? Well there ya go! Help! Because I detest fighting, and want my joy back!

    • profile image

      ELEFTHERIOS 

      6 months ago

      HOLD ON A SEC. first of this article is obviously made by a woman and its far biased second of all the uncertainty has its limits. Pursuing a woman at all times fro no particualr reason is just tiring and draining it is totally unfair and controversial to say that a man has to do all these every time a woman has its needs. most times men have their own need to be serene and calm from a hectic day that he tried to ake the living. andthen he has to deal wiht all the insecurities and un consious and most times consious hell created by the woman. I do understand what women want all the points you made and yes it is changing the spectrum of the men s behaviour but nevertheless this is an equal relationship at least i think this is how relationships should be and of course i dont mean the little extras we do to show love and affection and to show we want our partner but what alsi men like i believe is stability making a man life hell is just the opposite of what a man is seking from a woman. its a cycle either men or women want to accept this. we both need to jsut be more understanding. the needs of womenare clearly and very nicely pointed out in this article but it cant be uncondintional and in favor of the woman but fair.

    • profile image

      Ahmet 

      7 months ago

      Scroove all these... Always women have needs, and they have the right to attack whenever they are not met. Are they animals? Are men their servants? Noone has the right to quarrel, women must be honest and tell what they need...

    • profile image

      Ant 

      10 months ago

      It's a slightly bias viewpoint, as expected coming from any woman who would write an article on this. As would a mans article be on the opposite.

      I agree in most aspects. As men, we are the ones in charge and heads of the household. This added responsibility of 'being the bigger man' naturally falls on our shoulders as unfair as it may seem at times. It's the cost of being a man.

      I would only add here a clause, to say, be sure she's actually worth the headache. Not all women are good women. Only if she's worthwhile and a good woman, she's worth enduring for.

    • profile image

      Guy 

      10 months ago

      And women wonder why men cheat

    • profile image

      T W C 

      11 months ago

      Can't help but notice that Drive and Gina both indicated that female behavior and its attendant narcissism is the cause for most relationship trouble. And while Dri got a long lecture, mostly which circumvented his points, Gina got a nice 'Thanks!' Women have been told for decades now that their value is inherent and stands alone..on its own merit. Men don't relate to that, in any way, precisely because they function in a world that is the opposite of that construct: a man must PROVE value in order to gain it. One way is that of a child...the other the ways of adults.

    • profile image

      Faith 

      12 months ago

      My husband has no comment on any feelings I express, no matter how much I explain my hurts, no matte how many love letters I write, no matter how much I threaten to divorce him he has no comments. But when it comes to his needs the only time I get an type of communications is he leaves sites with soft porn available, like women butts turned toward the camera, women with totally see thur outfits on with implants the size of water mellons. ( I am a double EE and they are mine not purchased, maybe saging some but hey they are not fake). He has cheated on me and now he defends the guy at work who is gay. He is buddy buddy and recently I had two doctors appointments back to back were I needed his assistance with my eye appointment I would not be able to drive and he said they guy at work needed to go to the doctor so he worked for him! He loves his boss more than me and he lets her give him odd hours and he has been in trouble with S.S before and he is just acting ignorant. He is never there for me. I can ask, talk and beg for him to understand and listen but he just starts a conversation about something else as soon as I finish. When I speak he watches TV, or does crossword puzzles or numbers. I have a son who is disabled and in 19 years he has helped me help him but he is not a Dad to him at all. My husband yells, pounds his fists and has with held sex for 15 years! He wants anial sex and oral sex period. I actually care for him but at this point if I leave him I am going to be in a women shelter because he also refuses to save or budget. I feel I have wasted my life. At work his co workers say they feel sorry for me, and hate that I have to be married to such a man. One guy told me my husband flirts all day long and that he knows my husband better than me? I am scared and tired. I want love, understanding and support from my man.

    • profile image

      MD 

      13 months ago

      There's definitely a lot of insight here - very useful, too.

      But with all due respect, it sounds like being presented with a mental patient for christmas - along with kid-gloves and an instruction manual littered with warnings.

      True connection cannot come from indulging the ego - this only nurtures division (despite the brief and lucky respites that we so vaunt). Cyclical neuroticism is never happiness, and never true love. Inviting another to suffer with you is, quite frankly, unpleasant. Sorry if that sounds unkind!

      Try meditation instead : )

    • profile image

      Mindi 

      13 months ago

      Good read.

    • profile image

      Lala Land 

      13 months ago

      The problem is that she's not worth hunting after anymore. Because she let herself go, because she's a self centered pig. That's why. If you want your man to stay a man, put the fork down and hit the gym. Did I make you mad? I hope so. Your article triggered that emotion from me.

      The audacity of this article. Give me a break.

    • profile image

      Exhausted 

      17 months ago

      Womens... It's not worth it guys, trust me. Accept that fact and move on...

    • BizGenGirl profile imageAUTHOR

      Bema Self 

      4 years ago from Seattle

      @Gina, you're very welcome!

      @Mike, I'm glad your single and happy. Staying single is probably one of the best ways to avoid any commitments to women who might argue =)

      @Dri, as I've said in previous comments to interestingly outraged men who've read this hub, there were absolutely no expectations in this hub. You're either the kind of man who recognizes that no one is perfect and there are going to be some hardheaded women out there worth loving and taking the time to understand and work with, or your going to be the type of man who searches for a long time to find the perfect woman who is 100% mature and who never argues. Though just to be honest, by your comment, it almost seems like you're own argumentativeness is a perfect petri dish for a relationship filled with arguments.

      And while I don't know about any other parents, I certainly don't discipline my children for arguing. Yes, they are disciplined for being disrespectful or not doing what they've agreed to do and that can sometimes include them arguing about something I've asked them to, it certainly isn't the arguing that they get disciplined for. In fact, I encourage debate in my family. It's healthy and can lead to good negotiating and compromising skills as an adult. Everything has it's time and place in the world.

      And just for future outraged readers edification, you don't have to take any of this advice. Whether or not it works is irrelevant to you, because you're obviously not in a relationship with someone you love absolutely, who frustrates you and argues until you can't stand it anymore... As to why you're reading this hub, I'm not sure. But please recognize that there are plenty of men and women in the world who understand that no one is perfect and often times it's the imperfect ones who are worth loving the most =)

    • profile image

      dri 

      4 years ago

      laughable at best. This long analytical laundry list of selfishness only further perpetuates and reinforces the drama that men are told they must endure. Why must a grown adult (female) be given an excuse to make her mate feel guilty for stuff he hasn't done? Why must that behavior be condoned when don't accept it in children? We discipline children when they exhibit those behavior traits, why then are men being told that they must become a therapist to deal with childish behaviour??? It is manipulative and selfish! We excuse the child on the basis that they have not been schooled in the art of self control, in understanding that they cannot always have things their way,that sometimes in order to be understood one must first understand!!!!! So when women display this behaviour trait...its hard for a grown man to fathom and accept this as anything else but overt childishness. And yes women are capable of controlling themselves

    • profile image

      Mike 

      4 years ago

      I never argue and I am single and happy.

    • profile image

      Gina 

      4 years ago

      I want to thank you for your article. You hit it right on the head about why most women are not happy in their relationships. At the core of it is we don't feel like we are getting what we deserve. I must admit, Im a 42 year old woman and I learned the hard way that the world isn't a fantasy and we need to learn how to be happy and feel blessed with our relationships instead of finding things wrong about them. If there are real serious issues involved, that doesn't fit in. But if a woman doesn't feel loved, I have learned it's a product of the society we live in where we can blame men for that and its not always their fault, especially when they are truly trying. Arguments need to be fair and mature and neither the man nor woman should expect their partner to cater to them 24/7. That calls for a short term relationship fix and not keeping together with a great person. I know this after losing a great man who was there for me for everything and moved on. I learned that he passed away early this year and i wish i could tell him i really did appreciate him.

    • BizGenGirl profile imageAUTHOR

      Bema Self 

      5 years ago from Seattle

      Trust me, there were no expectations involved when I wrote this ;)

    • profile image

      F@$k that! 

      5 years ago

      I can't believe you expect men should do all this, why can't women fix their own vanity, insecurities and manipulations? and not dump them on their partners?

    • profile image

      Michael 

      5 years ago

      I like your article... You are right about why women are doin this and also what causes these situations, but your solutions are so absurd. Don't feed the beast... Guide your woman to emotional maturity. Your solutions make men a slave to emotion and not principle and reason, that which makes us men. Plus you make it sound like every woman has a histrionic personality disorder. This must not be advice for establishing long relationships... Men would eventually go insane following this advice...

    • BizGenGirl profile imageAUTHOR

      Bema Self 

      6 years ago from Seattle

      Very true Mill, and some arguments can even be fun! lol

      Thanks for the vote =)

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 

      6 years ago from USA

      This is an interesting insight to arguing. Arguments are good, because if we didn't argue, we have given up. Voted up.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)