Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love.
Why He Isn't Texting Back
Did you send a text to a guy and are wondering why he isn't texting back?
Well, since every circumstance is different, there is no one, specific thing that we can point to that signals the undeniable truth of the situation. He could be actively avoiding you or he simply may have not noticed your texts. He could be too nervous to reply or he might simply not be that into you.
There could be many reasons, so take a look at the list below to narrow down why he might be ghosting you and not texting you back:
1) He Forgot That You Texted Him
The simplest reason is that he simply forgot you texted him. This has probably happened to you, right? You looked at your phone while you were distracted, quickly read a text, and then forgot to reply?
Other people do this a lot, too. It might be disappointing for you and this might make you think that you're not a huge priority to him, but it could simply be that he's absent-minded. Some people are not glued to their cell phones all day and barely noticed when someone texts them. He could be this type of person.
In a case like this, the best thing to do is just to wait it out until you feel an appropriate amount of time has passed, and then simply text him again. You might also just try calling him. It's easy to ignore a text, but a ringing phone tends to get more attention.
Having said that, don't blow up his phone! Send a reasonable amount of communication and when he gets back to you, he'll get back to you.
2) He's Busy With His Life
Have a little bit of patience. People often get caught up in their lives and may not have time to pencil somebody else in. Again, you might think to yourself, "Does this mean I'm not important to him?"
The answer may be yes...or it could be no. If you're fairly new to his life, then it's only natural that you're not a priority yet. For example, if you've only been on one or two dates, don't expect him to drop everything just to be around you. In fact, getting too overly-obsessed with you could even be a bad sign. Some space is good.
On the other hand, if he really doesn't seem that enthusiastic about you even when you meet in person, then consider that he might be trying to let you down easy by ghosting you. After all, if someone isn't that excited to be with you, then it's probably not worth dating them. Which brings us to...
3) He Doesn't Like You That Much
Sorry. It's certainly possible that he isn't making room in his life for you because he simply isn't that into you. Nothing personal!
Usually, when we like people--especially in the beginning of a relationship, before we've grown too comfortable--we're extra accommodating and careful to answer people's messages. He could just be aloof and have his head in the clouds, but there's only so much aloofness that a person can have when they like you.
You may think to yourself that he should have the courage to tell you straight up if he isn't into you, but rarely can people muster up the guts. It's easier just to turn into a ghost.
If he has a consistent pattern of ignoring you, then next time you actually get a hold of him, asking him straight up: does he really like you, or are things just sort of "meh"? He might be too embarrassed to tell you bluntly, but you should be able to tell a lot from his body language. If he doesn't like you that much, don't waste your time!
How Long He Hasn't Texted Back
4) Technical Difficulties
Naturally, the issue could also be really mundane. Maybe his phone broke and it isn't receiving texts. Maybe his phone died and he hasn't realized it, so you'll have to wait until he charges it again. Maybe he uses ones of those old flip phones that can't read emojis, and you sent him a bunch of smiley faces and eggplants, but they just look like little blank squares to him, so he doesn't know how to respond.
If it's just been a one-time thing and he usually texts you back right away, then it could very easily be a technical problem. In fact, this is probably one of the more likely scenarios.
So before you start imagining worse things in your head, focus on something else--spend some time with a friend, watch a movie, go outside--and patiently wait for him to get back to you.
5) He's Mad at You / Avoiding You Deliberately
There's also a remote possibility that he is deliberately avoiding you because he's mad at you or experiencing some other kind of negative emotion towards you. Obviously, if this is the case, you should have some kind of inkling as to why.
If he's just mad at you for seemingly no reason, then there's a definite communication problem and you either need to address that next time you see him, or else you need to rethink the relationship altogether.
He could also be trying to play head games with you by making you sweat a little while you wait for him to text you back. Some people are manipulative like this. If you suspect that this might be the case, then there's little else to do but let things hang. He'll text you back on his own eventually. Of course, when he does, you might not even want him to anymore. It's best not to give someone the time of day if they insist on playing games. Again, don't waste your time.
Is It Worth It Waiting For Him to Text You Back?
One thing that you might want to ask yourself through all of this is: is all of this worth it? Think of all of the hours you've spent agonizing over why he isn't texting you back. What productive things could you have done with your life instead? You might have even been able to spend all that time and energy on someone who actually likes you enough to respond by a reasonable time!
If you know that he means well and is probably just too busy to answer, then don't get mad. Everyone has days like those. Give him some space and try to to suffocate him too much, or you may find that he'll avoid texting you even more.
Again, it really just comes down to the long-term pattern of behavior. Is he usually attentive? Is he usually distracted? Try to compare the situation to what you know of him to gauge what's "normal" for him. If you decide that he's probably just being a jerk, well, then maybe you should drop him.
Why You Think He Isn't Texting Back
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2018 Jorge Vamos
dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 30, 2018:
He could be he's driving Or maybe he's not all that into texting!
One theory is we text those we don't really want to (talk) to.
Jorge Vamos (author) on May 30, 2018:
Absolutely, this applies to both men and women. If someone seems disinterested...they probably are!
Travel Chef from Manila on May 30, 2018:
I can totally agree with all your points here. However, I think this can be applicable for guys and girls who are into relationships. Whatever the reason of a person ghosting to his or her partner, only brings to one question, are they really into the relationship? Or they just have the relationship because they just like to have a partner or just to get any benefits from their partner. So at the end, its both parties decision if they can continue their relationship or not.