What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Being An Ass And Ignoring You
La La La, I Can't Hear You, Or See You...
Depending on the type of man you're with, you may occasionally experience periods where he behaves like a total ass, withdrawing normal contact, eschewing his normal sweet nothings and instead ignoring you. This will normally occur after a relatively small disagreement.
There are several reasons for this behavior, the number one being that he is a (wait for it, I'm going to use a technical term here) 'passive aggressive ass' who doesn't know how to approach conflict so therefore acts as if he is okay, whilst withdrawing all relationship 'currency' as Dr Phil might say.
What can you do? The best option is to do nothing. You can ask if he is okay, but that will probably result in a surly "Yes, I am fine", which only becomes more short and terse the more you ask it. In his mind, you have wronged him and are no longer deserving of his attention. He is unable to resolve the conflict in a direct fashion, because that risks conflict, which he wishes to avoid at all costs. By ignoring you he avoids the conflict he is setting in motion, ironically by ignoring you.
Yes, this behavior is less than entirely mature. Yes, if it occurs too often this type of behavior will drain a relationship. Is there anything you can do about it? Probably not.
The ignoring period will end when he either ignores himself into feeling better, or wants something. It is then that he should discover the consequences of his actions, but you'll probably forgive him because you're not ten years old and don't hold grudges. Right?
You can hope that over time he outgrows this childish behavior, but it is unlikely to happen. By the time a man reaches the age of maturity, (anything over 20, say) he is probably set in his ways for life.
Instead of worrying about his periods of sulking, why not use the time you would otherwise spend enjoying your relationship to improve yourself. Read an educational book, watch a documentary, learn how to crochet. The house will be quiet and before long you'll be an accomplished woman with the largest tea cosy collection in the land.
Of course, it is always possible that you may have contributed to the problem by behaving in a less than entirely mature fashion yourself. Your time out from one another may allow you to see what went wrong and avoid similar problems in the future. Examine possible causes: Did you unintentionally wound his ego by suggesting he couldn't singlehandedly wire the entire house? Did you mess with a beloved object, like his car? Is he experiencing his man period? (The man period is a taboo subject and largely goes unnoticed, unlike the female period which is typified by rivers of blood and and intermittent crying.)
The most important thing to remember at the end of the day, however, is that you still love him, as he loves you. Which is fortunate, because who else would put up with your crap?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.