The Top Ten Signs That Your Partner is Cheating on You

Updated on December 8, 2012

It is a sad fact that many monogamous relationships and marriages come to a bitter end when one party becomes involved in an affair or ends up having a one night stand. However, it is also true that relationships can end due to unwarranted suspicion and paranoia, so it is important to know when you really should be worried that your partner is being unfaithful.

Read on to discover the top ten signs that are exhibited by a cheating partner, and learn how you should approach your other half if you are seriously concerned about infidelity.

1) Your partner’s habits are changing in ways that you do not understand:

If your partner’s schedule has recently become erratic or confusing in ways that are not being properly explained, this is cause to worry that you may be the victim of cheating. For example, unfaithful partners often arrive home later than they claim they will, and may disappear for an hour or more while explaining theses absences as ‘trips to the store’ or ‘running an errand.’

If you notice that your partner is offering you odd or uncomfortable explanations for their whereabouts, you are within your rights to be concerned that something significant is being hidden from you.

2) Your partner answers straightforward questions in a noticeably evasive manner:

When someone is conducting an illicit relationship or trying to conceal an instance of infidelity, they will tend to stall you or give you convoluted and unconvincing answers when you ask simple questions about their actions. You may find that your partner seems defensive, confused or guilty when you ask if they had a good day or inquire about their plans for the evening.

This evasiveness comes from the fact that cheating partners usually have to keep track of multiple, complex lies. In addition, you should be similarly concerned if your partner angrily demands that you explain why you want to know the answer to a question you’re asking, when what you are asking is in fact an innocent, curious question that used to be accepted without criticism.

3) You are met with hostility if you approach your partner’s phone or computer:

Most cheating partners are discovered due to saved correspondences on laptops or phones. Illicit activities or romances can be conducted readily via the internet nowadays – in fact there are even websites that exist to help people find extra-marital relationships. One of the largest being Ashley Madison, who claim to have people flocking to their website. Acording to the report, Chicago apparently tops the list of cities for cheaters.

If your partner seems to panics or starts being verbally combative whenever you approach a device that is used to send personal messages, this may be because of the guilt and paranoia that results from conducting a clandestine relationship on the side. You should always consider whether a new or extremely heightened interest in privacy might be a sign that you are being cheated on.

4) You are feeling as though you simply cannot do anything right:

When someone is cheating, they may disproportionately nag or criticize their primary partner. Often, this is because guilt is leading them to attempt to justify their infidelity by convincing themselves that their original relationship is deeply flawed in ways that are not their fault. It is extremely common for cheats to have the desire to view themselves as good people in extraordinary circumstances, so as to avoid considering what their infidelity really says about who they are.

5) Your partner is making excuses to avoid physical intimacy:

Firstly, it is important to note that sexual problems are extremely common, and anything from a medical condition to job stress can explain a dry spell in a relationship. However, it is equally important to face up to the fact that cheating is the cause of a lack of physical intimacy in some cases.

If your partner is cheating on you, you may notice that the excuses used to avoid sex seem flimsy or are delivered with some nervousness of insincerity. You should also be concerned if your partner seems strangely dispassionate or disconnected during sex, as this is a sign that they may be sleeping with you out of duty rather than desire.

6) You are struggling to get or maintain your partner’s attention:

Of course, it is highly plausible that your partner may be distracted by family problems, work deadlines or other perfectly innocent issues. However, infidelity tends to come with intense infatuation, and as such it is usually accompanied by daydreaming, a shortened attention span, and obsessive thoughts about another person. If you have noticed that it is difficult to get your partner to pay much attention to you, this may be a warning sign that you are being cheated on.

7) Your partner seems less interested in spending time with family or mutual friends:

If your partner usually likes attending family dinners or going for drinks with your friends, alarm bells should ring if there is a sudden loss of interest in these activities. Cheating partners over withdraw from these scenarios because being around loved ones who view your relationship as solid and loving can inspire stronger feelings of guilt and remorse. In addition, such events can serve to remind an unfaithful partner of just how much anger, disappointment and disapproval would emerge in the event that the infidelity became common knowledge.

8) Your partner seems to be spending much more time at their place of work

You should not worry if you know that there is a good reason for your partner spending extra time at the office. For example, perhaps you share a workplace and you know that your partner has an upcoming deadline, or perhaps his coworkers have been complaining to you about a group project that is taking a lot of extra work. However, if you fail to hear a satisfying explanation for your partner’s continued presence as work, this may be because you are being cheated on.

In some cases, a cheating partner will be spending time at work because their clandestine relationship will be with a colleague. In other cases, the unfaithful person may be elsewhere (such as a hotel), and will simply be lying about work because it is a convenient way to evade suspicion. Be aware that some remorseless cheats will even use your suspicion about their whereabouts to make you feel guilty for doubting them when they ‘are working so hard’.

9) You are being discouraged from meeting a prominent figure in your partner’s life:

Due to the fact that affairs tend to involve a degree of genuine infatuation, cheating partners sometimes find that their romantic feelings override their common sense. This can manifest in their noticeably talking excessively about the new object of their affections, while at the same time doing everything they can to prevent their primary partner from ever meeting the other party. If your partner is preoccupied by a new person or appears to be spending a lot of time with them, you should be highly suspicious if it seems as though your partner is extremely reluctant to let you meet this seemingly important person.

10) Your partner has a new habit of showering immediately after arriving home:

A cheating partner will often feel the urge to go straight into the shower upon arriving back from a rendezvous with someone else. In some cases, this will be because of the fear that you will smell the scent of another person on their skin, while in other cases the main reason is psychological. Some chests connect the act of cleaning their skin with the notion of somehow washing away their shame or wrongdoing.

If more than five of these common signs of infidelity seem familiar to you, there is good cause for you to be suspicious that your partner is cheating on you. However, it is vital that you realize that this suspicion does not constitute concrete proof that you are being cheated on, and if you approach your partner with angry accusations then you could end up breaking up for reasons that have nothing to do with actual infidelity.

If you suspect that you are being cheated on, the best thing that you can do it is to calmly and carefully explain why you are concerned. Give your partner a chance to offer explanations, and (depending on how you feel) consider mentioning that you are still willing to work on the relationship even if infidelity has occurred.

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      11 days ago

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      13 days ago

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      6 months ago

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      madison 

      23 months ago

      My question is; what do you do if you cant let go? I caught my boyfriend talking to another woman, and don't get me wrong I was extremely upset and heart broken, but he tried making up excuses and getting me to stay with him, but once he gave up, I realized how much I really cant live without him. I cant just let him walk away. Should I take him back?....

    • profile image

      Caught A Cheater 

      4 years ago

      I can help but keep looking over the different posts you have here and I find all of them very helpful. I especially like this one because it is something that affects so many of us. I recently bought a cell spy software after reading the features that came with it at http://highstermobile.org/highster-mobile-list-of-... and if it wasn't for site like this one I would never have started to look into this as a way to get an answer. I eventually found out what my partner was doing behind my back thanks to you and you have saved me some real heartache

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