The Side Chick

Updated on January 4, 2017
The Side Chick:  The other woman.
The Side Chick: The other woman.

The Back-Up

The side chick is a title recently made popular and given by urban America. It is another name for mistress, side bitch, ride-or-die chick, cut buddy, etc. I guess it is a method to further the illusion of a real title outside of main woman or wife. Basically a side chick is a woman that is one level above a casual sex partner, but always a step below the wife or girlfriend. She does all the things the main woman won’t or can’t do.

Men often underestimate the competitiveness of women. That’s why many times they look at the side chick, because she offers something (no matter how little it really is) that the main woman or wife doesn’t. That’s why the chick on the side will do all the nasty, freaky stuff he wants just to hurt, wound, or offend his main woman and get “her man”.

According confidential sources, there are even rules to being a side chick. The rules are as follows:

  • She must know her position/part and never get out of line.
  • She must be someone he can have fun with, but not expect any commitment
  • She must give him what he’s not getting at home with his main woman or wife.
  • She can be there for emotional support, if things go wrong in his main relationship.
  • She must have nothing to lose.
  • She must be willing to be a toy. Basically he takes her out the box when he needs her.
  • She must be there when he needs/wants her to be.

As if the rules weren’t glamorous enough. Some genius created a day known to only other players/cheaters as Side Chick Day. Basically, it’s any day after any major holiday or birthday. For example, Valentine’s Day. The side chick may have sex with him February 1st through the 13th and spend Valentine’s Day alone. The day after Valentine’s Day, when the store-bought gifts are discounted or on sale she gets a $10 teddy bear or 99-cent gas station rose. Keep in mind the day before, the main woman or wife more than likely received a $100 bouquet of roses, $50 teddy bear, and much more. The side chick gets the leftovers and/or is shown her discounted value in the form of present which was actually more of an afterthought.

It’s a dangerous game to play and no one wins. I’m beginning to wonder did anyone learn from the tragedy of an NFL football player, Steve McNair. He was shot four times in his sleep by his side chick. She also ended up shooting herself. It was reported that she had become mentally unstable prior to shooting. One can only imagine what was going through her head before this occurred.

Both men and women need to keep in mind the consequences of this behavior and they are as follows:

  • Men: You can’t keep the side chick in pocket. So you never know what she’s planning.
  • Men: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. What happens if you piss her off? What if she tells?
  • Women: You will never have his full attention, respect, or time. Only what is left over.
  • Women: You will never meet his family. Maybe his boys, but that’s only because they’re doing it too.
  • Women: If he will cheat on her with you, he will cheat on you.

People this is real and everyone’s life is placed in unnecessary jeopardy. Walking around with rose-colored glasses on and creating the illusion that “nothing” is really “something” will lead to hurt emotionally (and in some cases physically). Not to mention, the sexual aspect of the whole-twisted situation. According to a confidential source, most men will have and prefer unprotected sex with their side chick and others. Then knowingly, go home and have unprotected sex with their main woman or wife. That’s just down right nasty and irresponsible. Imagine sexing your side chick and wife the same night to only find out a week later she (side chick) is pregnant or has AIDS. How sick is that?!

I’m all for free will, but being an adult isn’t just based on the age printed on your driver’s license or the ability to procreate. It is a status obtained from hard work, mental, and emotional growth (just to start). It is about being responsible for one’s actions. It requires being open and honest communication with all parties involved. If you are single, do what you will but be truthful . . . especially if you’re not ready for a commitment. Let a woman know up front what’s going on and, offer her a chance decide, if this is something in which she wants to willingly be involved.

I, personally, take the commitment of marriage very seriously. If you’re not ready to marry, don’t get married. But please don’t put someone through this unnecessary hell. If your spouse isn’t doing the things you want and/or need, communicate with them . . . before you decide to play a game that could get out of control destroying you both. Think about your kids and what it would do to them. Not to mention, your wallet. Marriage is easy to get into, but getting out of it is expensive financially and emotionally.

Last but certainly not least, if you’re gonna play the game. Play it fair. Let all parties know what’s going on and what to expect. Keep everything on an even keel is what is safest. Charging it to the game, especially, when going or leading someone into it blindly, can cost you . . . everything.

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    • profile image

      jt 6 years ago

      Why buy the cow when the milk is for free. Until women realize this, there will always be side girls

    • RelationshipXT profile image

      RelationshipXT 6 years ago from Netherlands or Nevis.

      Rice puddin has added a real pearl of wisdom in saying

      "Never make someone your priority while your just their option."

      Sadly, this applies to women who must make the decision to leave their serially dishonest husbands. The husbands spend more time with work and on their "side chick" than their family.

    • RelationshipXT profile image

      RelationshipXT 6 years ago from Netherlands or Nevis.

      I tend to analyze these situations and roles more dryly. Your side chick analysis is wonderfully refreshing. I'm going to use it with one couple I'm working with now. Thanks a bunch!

    • profile image

      Rice Puddin 6 years ago from Little Rock, AR

      Thanks SS, you really pinned their M.O.

      I recently broke off a four year, long distance relationship with a man who displayed the behaviors you mentioned off and on. Nearly three years in I figured out that I was the "Main

      Bitch". It took another year and a half to come to terms with the fact that being his "Only Bitch" was probably never gonna be in

      the cards. I've made a clear break and although I get a text every

      couple months from the guy I stay

      strong and aloof. Never make

      someone your priority while your

      just their option.

      I'd be interested in your insight regarding the role of "Main Bitch".

      Had I known the behaviors, signs, and likely outcomes earlier in the game maybe I would have had an easier time of walking away.

      Hope to read more from you soon.

    • NiqqiAbstraqt profile image

      NiqqiAbstraqt 7 years ago

      I love this!

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 7 years ago

      Good article! I especially like the play fair ending.

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