Signs That You Are in a Parasitic Relationship
In science, much like human relationships, a parasitic relationship benefits one partner and hurts the host. In nature, the tick attaches itself to the wolf and lives on it as a parasite; possibly hurting the animal by injecting it with a virus or bacteria at some point in time. Although the wolf goes on with his day, he is usually unaware that he has been infected. The tick has learned over centuries how to successfully live off animals without being detected.
Human Parasites Exist in Modern Society
The human equivalent to nature's tick would be a person who lives off their partner in several ways that becomes harmful to them. In other words, eventually the host dreads spending time with the object of their "infection." As the parasite continues to go on about how the world effects them, remarks incessantly how much people are jealous of and love them, ultimately, the host notices they are being drained of energy, patience, and blood. If your not getting anything out of a relationship, and are being negatively affected by your partner, you just might be in a parasitic relationship. Here are the signs that this may be true.
Love Is What You Do for Each Other
People who love each other give more than they take. As a relationship is formed or continued, both individuals gain more trust, reliability and insight into each others needs. Although no one can meet every need the other may have, they do their best to be considerate, understanding and helpful. In nature, this is defined by science as a symbiotic relationship, it is mutually beneficial to both partners.
Signs of a Parasitic Relationship
- Your girlfriend used your car and was supposed to pick you up after work and "forgot" about it. When you get home and exit the taxi, she has a perfectly good explanation, she stated that she, "lost track of time while shopping at the mall."
- After listening all night to your spouse about how badly they feel because they can't find a job, you go to work half-asleep as they stay in bed and sleep all day.
- After moving in together as a couple for several months, you haven't seen one dime contributed to the rent of the apartment. As you argue about the deal that was agreed upon, you somehow give in to your boyfriend and agree that he should only have to pay the cable bill.
- You have a problem that is worrying you and want to discuss it with your girlfriend. After a few minutes of speaking, she says she is "too tired to keep talking and needs to go to bed."
- You partner is frequently bored with you and needs money to "do something exciting."
- Most of your conversations revolve around the needs of your spouse or partner.
How do Parasitic People Develop?
People who grow up with no family responsibilities or parental direction may develop into an immature adult that has never gained a conscious awareness of the needs of others. In addition, a parent may have dismissed the person's individuality and treated them as an incidental member of the family. This behavior promotes a lack of empathy in the adult and they may believe that people are sources of resources rather than emotional beings that deserve time, love and support. The parasite usually has evolved overtime to be an expert at using people around them, and then discarding them when they're usefulness has been depleted.
The Host Catches on to the Parasite
Eventually, the host notices the parasite has been slowly draining them dry, and they begin to lose the early fascination that once distorted their perception of their partner. It is always painful to end a relationship, but the unevenness of give and take eventually ends in the refusal of the host to support the parasite any longer. At this point, the parasite may go into survival mode, and threaten you with anger and betrayal if you don't continue to support them with your life's blood.
Time to Pry Off the Parasite
Finally, when you cannot stand another day of feeding the parasite, you end the relationship despite the painful emotional ambiguity you may experience. This is a good time to take a break from relationships and take personal inventory. If you find yourself attracting parasites, you may want to look at yourself and see why you keep becoming infected. Know that you are not alone, and many people find themselves in these relationships everyday. It is a lesson to be learned, but not a reason to swear off any future relationships that provide a strong, loving and symbiotic union that you will appreciate more in the long run.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.